Unfurl My Angel Wings
by SailorChibi
Summary: He had waited all this time for her to be alone and vulnerable. And now, after the war had ended and the senshi did not return, when she was trying to move on and the only guards she had left were the three wandering stars... he struck. U/S
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon or any of the characters you might recognize from the anime and/or manga.  
**A/N:** So here I am with a new S/U story. While I was writing _To Love You More_, I discovered that I quite enjoyed writing about Usagi and Seiya. I hadn't planned to come out with this story so soon, but this first chapter has been written for a while. I'm going to keep the chapters fairly short for a while just to make sure I can keep up with the demand but I still wanted to post it; I didn't want any of my SM readers to despair too much. Just to be clear from the get-go, this will be Seiya/Usagi. Enjoy!

Note: To everyone who got two notifications for this, I apologize. The site is being a pain.

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The war was over.

Sweeter words had never been spoken. I pulled my wings in closer to my body and wrapped my arms loosely around my stomach, looking out over the city for the first time. The sight of the fallen buildings, the destroyed roads, the sheer destruction made me shudder. I felt sick. I hadn't had time to pay attention before, but now it was hitting me that Galaxia had done _a lot_ of damage. I didn't even want to think about how many people had been hurt and killed during the fight. It would take time, possibly years, before things were back to normal. But as long as I had my friends with me... I knew that I could go through anything.

Galaxia had promised to deliver the stolen Starseeds back to where they belonged. I looked around anxiously, waiting for my friends to appear to me. My stomach was clenching with nerves, and when a few minutes went by and nothing happened, I swallowed a nervous laugh and heard myself speaking.

"Everyone... I did it. I hung in there. But I'm so lonely!"

I listened hard. That was their cue to jump in and tell me that I was being silly because I'd won the war and now we'd work through what was left together.

But there was nothing.

Then –

"Chibi chibi."

"Eh?" My eyes opened wide, and I gasped as Chibi-Chibi's frail body appeared in front of me. She was unconscious. I reached out and gathered her close to me, realizing that she was warmer than I would have guessed. I was certain that she'd died during the battle, but here she was in front of me, still alive. I cradled her little body and brushed a kiss across her forehead before I spoke in a trembling voice that I barely recognized as my own. "Chibi-Chibi, what – "

I stopped as a series of images raced through my mind accompanied by Galaxia's sweet voice, calling out to me across the vast distance that separated us, explaining her last gift: the only thing she could do for me. My body went cold as the realization set in and my hands began to tremble. Distantly, I realized that we were falling, and I threw my wings out, controlling the descent until we landed gently. My knees refused to support me and I collapsed onto the ground, clutching Chibi-Chibi to my chest, staring blankly at the broken chunks of concrete and glass that littered the grass.

"Sailor Moon!"

The worried voices of the Starlights, accompanied by a warm, gloved hand on my cheek, pulled me out of my shocked stupor. I lifted my head and found myself staring into dark blue eyes that were filled with so much love and awe that my heart broke. I burst into tears and couldn't stop crying, not even when Fighter began frantically asking me what was wrong. I knew I was scaring them but I couldn't make myself stop. I let Healer take Chibi-Chibi and then threw myself into her arms, sobbing into her shoulder. I clutched at her desperately, afraid that she would disappear, too.

"They're gone," I choked out, feeling her arms come around my waist, mindful of the wings. "They're gone! And they're not coming back. Oh God."

I felt Fighter's body grow still, and then she shivered, though her grip on me never loosened. "Sailor Moon... what do you mean?" she asked, and her voice was so soft that if she hadn't been speaking into my ear I wouldn't have heard her.

"They're not coming back," I whispered back. I was shaking, but it wasn't from the cold. Don't get me wrong – it was freezing even though it was spring. The moon was beautiful but it offered none of the warmth that the sun did, and none of us were dressed for the weather. Well, I wasn't dressed at all except for my wings and the ginzuishou. "Galaxia said... she said..."

"She said what?" Maker pressed urgently when I trailed off, unable to go on. She and Healer knelt beside me and then both of them pressed close, creating a little cocoon with me in the middle. I was basically sitting on all three of their laps.

"She said they're being reborn."

My words caused an instant silence to fall. I knew that they understood even though I hadn't said much and I was glad, because I couldn't have gone on. I laid my head on Fighter's shoulder and clung to her, dreading the thought of being alone. My friends weren't coming back. Oh God. They were _dead_. Their starseeds had gone into the cauldron and would be reborn in new people. Galaxia's last gift to me would be that they would be born on Earth in a short amount of time. But I would never see any of them again. Even Princess Kakyuu. Even Mamo-chan. My shaking grew worse and I whimpered.

The sound must have snapped Maker out of it because she grabbed my hand and gasped. "You're freezing."

"We should really get out of here," Healer said. Even trapped in my misery, I could tell that none of them had really absorbed what I was saying. We were all too shook up from the battle and the losses we'd suffered. I couldn't do anything but cling to Fighter. "The police will be coming and if we're found, it's going to cause a lot of trouble."

She and Maker stood up. Fighter tried to lift me off of her so that she could stand up too, but I think I lost it a little. I remember crying her name and grabbing onto her even more tightly, refusing to let go for even an instant, utterly terrified that if I let go she would vanish. It took both her and Maker to get me on my feet and even then, my legs didn't want to work right. They kept folding under me and I would have fallen had it not been for the two of them.

"Come on," Healer said, holding tightly to Chibi-Chibi.

I'd like to tell you that I know how we got home. I don't. The Starlights were exhausted and now they had me to take care of. I was borderline hysterical, though the further we got from the battlefield, the more lucid I became. On the outskirts of the part of the city that was still standing, Fighter sat me down on a chunk of plastic and coaxed me into letting my transformation go. Even though I was still naked with only the wings on my back, it probably wasn't the best idea. The second my magic released and I was back to being plain old Tsukino Usagi, I dropped like a stone. She caught me and picked me up with surprising ease and we started moving again.

Later, Yaten told me that it wasn't that hard to make it back. The whole city was in a complete panic, so the sight of three sailor senshi running down the sidewalk wasn't all that out of the ordinary. No one had the time to pay any attention; it would be hours yet before anyone realized that Galaxia's reign of terror had officially ended. Furthermore, nearly everyone had had their starseeds stolen, and a lot of the elderly people and children were suffering the after-effects. Then there were those who had been killed or wounded by falling buildings or crumbling roads... Things were in chaos.

Fortunately, their apartment was still in one piece. Maker locked the door the second we were inside. Fighter sat down on the couch with me in her lap and adjusted us both until we were in a comfortable position. I was still holding onto her, my arms around her neck, but I was following the progress of Maker and Healer around the apartment. The instant they were out of sight, I tensed and started to panic until they came back into the room. Within about five minutes, the two of them had sat down next to us without even bothering to get their injuries looked at. Healer was still holding onto Chibi-Chibi, who hadn't woken up yet.

"Now, Odango, what were you saying about the sailor senshi being reborn?" Fighter asked. She sounded like she was trying to keep calm.

The nickname soothed me to the point where I could let go. I grabbed for Healer and Maker instead, pulling on their hands until they were half-sprawled on top of us. "They're being reborn. Galaxia... she couldn't make them reappear. Their starseeds went into the cauldron and they'll be reborn as new people in anywhere from a day to years. Once she stole their starseeds, that's it. They're never coming back. I'm alone again."

They could have protested. I wasn't really alone, not when the three of them were squeezed around me so tightly that I could hardly breathe. But I felt like I was and I think they felt the same way. I wanted to comfort them. I really did. I knew they'd spent so long searching for Princess Kakyuu. To lose her now, to hear that she wasn't coming back after they were so close to retrieving her, must have been devastating. But I couldn't get the words to come. All I could think about was Mamo-chan, and my friends, and Chibi-Usa, and everything that I had lost.

At some point, I started crying again. Someone – Fighter, maybe – un-did my hair, which was already falling out of the odango, and I felt Fighter tangle her hands into it. She held me to her so tightly that it hurt, but I liked the pain. I could feel her tears on my shoulder, dampening the skin. Or maybe that was Healer or Maker. It didn't matter.

We'd fought together.

We'd won together.

And now we cried together.

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Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Wow! I'm staggered at the response to this story but delighted that so many U/S fans are sticking with me. I hope you all continue to enjoy the story.

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I stayed in bed for a long time after that. Partly it was because I was trying to recuperate from the battle: none of us had slept in nearly three days beforehand, and we were all wounded in small ways. Cuts and scrapes and bruises, and on top of that for me, muscles that ached from electrocution. But it was more than just the physical injuries keeping me down. Every time I was conscious, and sometimes even in my dreams, I couldn't stop thinking about my friends and how they'd been taken from me.

It had hurt when they died. Of course it did. But bolstering me through it, keeping me from giving up even when the Starlights told me not to was the idea that they would come back. I had fought the battle expecting them to return, just like they had after I'd defeated Beryl. It had never occurred to me that they might not when I won. It seemed like a cruel joke and I often woke up expecting, praying, _hoping_ that it had been a nightmare.

Without them, I didn't know what to do.

Those thoughts clung to me as I drifted in and out of a restless sleep, dreaming about the future I'd never see and the daughter I would never have. I woke up countless times with her name on my lips and tears pouring down my cheeks. I had lost her once before, during the battle with Nehelania, but it was nothing compared to the pain I felt now, when I hadn't even had the chance to say good-bye. Then, I'd known there was a chance to save her. This time, without Mamoru she was out of my reach forever and that hurt more than I could bear. How could I ever have another child knowing what I had lost?

If it hadn't been for the Starlights, I might have rolled over and died from heartbreak. But one of them was always with me, just_ being_ there while I cried. Several times I woke up to find Yaten sleeping next to me, her face pale and lined with exhaustion, her hands clutching at the bottom of the tank top that I wore. Seiya slept beside me, too, except I always ended up clinging to her so tightly that she had to pry my arms off of her when it was time for her to get up. Taiki never lay down with me, but on the rare occasion that the others were gone she would kneel beside the bed and rest her head in her hands and cry. I never let on that I was sometimes awake when that happened because I knew my presence, especially if she thought I was asleep, was somehow comforting to her.

I might have gone on that way forever but they wouldn't let me. On the morning of the sixth day I woke up to find Yaten beside me, but for once she wasn't sleeping. Her clear green eyes were looking straight into mine and I knew that she had been waiting patiently for me to wake up. Her lips lifted in a smile when she saw me looking back at her, but I could tell it was more for show than because she really felt the urge to smile.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi," I said back. My throat was dry and scratchy. It hurt to swallow. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had anything to drink. My stomach was empty and ached with hunger but I felt no desire to eat anything. "What's wrong?"

Yaten shook her head. Her hair had come free of the tie that normally kept it back in a ponytail, and it spilled across her shoulders in a shining wave. I picked up a couple of strands, rubbing them between my fingers. Silky and soft – like moonlight. It was almost enough to make _me_ smile. She covered my hand with hers.

"Nothing's wrong," she answered me finally. "But it's time for you to get up. They wouldn't want you to stop living your life like this."

It hurt, but I knew she was right. If my friends had been there, Rei would have grabbed the edge of the mattress and flipped me onto the floor ages ago. Minako would have threatened me with the return of Nurse Venus until I gave in and got up out of fear for my safety and sanity. Ami would have been logical about it, leaving me no opportunities to argue. Makoto would have enticed me out of bed with the smells of delicious food. Mamo-chan... He probably would have kissed me and teased me until I had reason to want to get up. But they weren't here. The room disappeared in a fresh swell of tears and I ducked my head, pressing it to her shoulder.

"How can I?" I croaked out finally, lifting my hand to rub the tears away when I felt a little more in control. "How can I keep living when they're not with me? What's going to happen?"

"I don't know," Yaten said honestly. I liked that about her: that she didn't try to lie and tell me everything would be okay. That's what Seiya did, and it was nice to hear, but sometimes I needed that brute honesty no matter how much it ached. "I don't know what's going to happen. But you can't face it in here."

I looked at her for a long time without saying anything at all. Her face was dark with pain and fatigue and I knew she hadn't been sleeping the way she was supposed to. Probably she and the others had been trying to do as much damage control as possible. After all, they were supposed to be either gone or dead by now, not still hanging around. They were female now and I had no idea how they'd been handling that, or Princess Kakyuu's death. It had to be hard on them.

And of course, they had me to look after. I wasn't kidding when I said that one of them was always with me; when I was left by myself it only took a couple of seconds for the overwhelming panic to set in. No matter how hard I tried to tell myself that I wasn't alone, I couldn't believe it unless they were there. I felt the most calm when all three of them were with me, but I was alright with just Seiya as long as I knew where Yaten and Taiki had gone and when they were due back. But when Seiya was gone, I was constantly on edge, unable to relax, fighting back sleep until I knew she was around, that she wasn't going to leave me. I needed her.

Like she knew what I was thinking, Yaten sat up and looked down at me. "Seiya's waiting for you in the kitchen with a surprise," she said. "All you have to do is get up and shower."

A shower. That actually sounded really nice. I hadn't had one in a long time. My hair felt greasy and I was sure that I smelled. Those thoughts must have shown on my face because Yaten giggled and slipped off of the bed. She reached down and took my hand to help me sit up, and then wrapped an arm around my waist when I stood up. Vertigo struck in a disorienting wave and probably would have sent me right back down if she hadn't been there, but she was. Supporting me, just like they had been all this time.

"Ooh," I moaned, grabbing my head.

"It's just from lying down too long. You'll feel better once you've been up a while," Yaten told me confidently, practically dragging me into the bathroom. We were the same height but I was surprised by the strength in her small frame. She was much stronger than I was.

I was only dressed in underwear and a tank top, which I think was Seiya's. Yaten disposed of them quickly. It didn't really bother me to be naked around her. I let her help me into the shower, which was already running, and she helped me wash my hair. She patiently rubbed the shampoo in and then carefully washed every strand until all of the dirt and oil was gone. I had the easier job of washing my body. I was done before she was so I just leaned my head back and enjoyed the sensation of fingers running through my hair. I'd always loved having my hair played with. There was something very soothing about it. I was sorry when she finally rinsed the last bit and shut the shower off. I got out and sat down on the toilet, noticing that there was already a fresh set of underwear and a shirt waiting for me.

"Pretty confident in yourself, weren't you?" I observed.

"You had to get up some time," she said quietly. "You wouldn't waste their sacrifice by staying there forever."

Her words hit me hard, like a punch to the stomach, and I sucked a breath in sharply. But she was right, of course. Much as I had entertained the idea of letting myself waste away, I knew I couldn't do that. Now that the senshi were gone, now that the _prince_ was gone, Earth needed me more than ever. My original role in life had been to watch the over the Earth from far away and I couldn't help remembering days spent as Princess Serenity, looking at this planet with so much longing. How had it ever come to this?

I brushed my hair and dried it with a towel but left it down, lacking the energy to put it up into odango. I didn't think I was ready to see that hairstyle just yet. Yaten told me that she would braid it later as I got dressed. The underwear was a pale silky green color and I figured it was hers; the cinnamon-and-olive scent that lingered around the top told me that it was Seiya's. I liked wearing her things, even if it was a little loose on me. I pulled the top on and buttoned it up just past my breasts, so no one could accuse me of a lack of modesty, then looked at Yaten.

"I'm ready," I said, trying to inject a little eagerness into my voice. "Where's my surprise?"

"Right this way." She put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me out into the hall. I'd never noticed before but their apartment was pretty large. They had a penthouse, meaning they had the top floor of one of the nicest buildings in the city all to themselves. It was easily large enough for three separate bedrooms, plus a small guest room that seemed to double as a music room.

Seiya was standing by the counter in the kitchen holding a cup of tea in her hands, though it was still full to the brim. She looked tired and unhappy. When she looked up and saw me, though, the difference was instantaneous: her face lit up and she visibly relaxed. "Odango!" she said. "You're up. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," I said, moving over to her. It was already becoming a second nature to hold onto any part of her that she would allow me to have, even if it meant I was clinging to the edge of her shirt like a child. I dreaded being away from her, from any of them; they were the one thing in my life that was still a constant. If Seiya left me, I didn't know what I would do. It thrilled me when she automatically accepted, letting me grab onto her free hand, and I smiled tentatively. She grinned back and winked.

"Yaten told you we had a surprise, eh?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said. I couldn't imagine what they thought I would want. I leaned against her, feeling a little dizzy from all the energy I'd expended after days of being in bed. "What is it?"

"Taiki!" Seiya called instead of answering.

The door to the living room swung open. Taiki was smiling at me but my attention was immediately caught by the two blurs that shot out of the room. I gasped and sank to my knees. "Luna! Artemis!" I cried, holding my arms out. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten about them; the truth was, they hadn't crossed my mind in days. I hadn't even thought to check on them.

"Usagi-chan, you're alive!" Luna pressed her face against my neck, purring frantically. "Thank god... I was so worried!"

"I'm sorry." I hooked one of my arms around Seiya's ankle and used that hand to help hold her and Artemis against me. It meant that Seiya's legs were pressed against my side and that was alright. "I didn't think... oh god, I'm so sorry." I would've been crying but the tears wouldn't come. Not anymore.

"Is it true?" Artemis asked. He was happy to see me but I could see it in his face, in his eyes, _Minako_.

My stomach clenched. "Yes."

His head bowed and he shoved his face against my arm. I felt the dampness of his tears against my skin and a hollowness opened up in my stomach. I leaned back against Seiya, hoping that the way my hands shook as I stroked the two of them wasn't visible, and tried to provide what little comfort I could. Meaningless in the end, but it was all I could do.

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Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I know a couple people question this story, since the senshi aren't going to be around. It's definitely going to be hard and challenging, but I'm going to do my best to make it interesting and worth your while to read, so to speak. Enjoy!

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I could have stayed on the floor with Luna and Artemis for ages, but after about twenty minutes my stomach growled. Loudly. Unfazed, I put a hand over my midsection and pushed down lightly until the sound subsided. I was hungry, I had to admit: my tummy was so empty that it actually ached with a deep throbbing pain. But the thought of eating made me feel nauseous. Still, Luna's head popped up and she stared at me with a worried look in her eyes. It took me almost a full minute of looking back blankly before I understood why. The old Tsukino Usagi would never have let herself get to the point where it sounded like her stomach was trying to eat itself. I used to eat something almost every hour. I didn't think I'd ever gone this long without food before. No wonder she was concerned. I forced a smile and set her and Artemis down on the floor.

"I guess it's been a while since I ate," I said, hoping I sounded more cheerful than I felt. Above all I didn't want her and Artemis worrying about me unnecessarily. I looked up at Seiya, who was standing beside me patiently. "Will you cook something for me?"

"Seiya can't cook," Yaten said before Seiya could answer. There was a crooked little smirk on her face. "But Taiki can."

I turned a hopeful set of eyes onto Taiki and she gave in immediately, shaking her head a little. "Better me than Seiya, I suppose," she said. "At least this way the kitchen will have a chance at making it through another night."

"Mean," Seiya muttered, reaching down and hooking her hands under my armpits. She pulled me to my feet effortlessly and I was amazed all over again at how strong the Starlights were, even in their civilian forms. "Come on, Odango. We'll go into the living room and watch some television while Taiki makes sure the kitchen doesn't blow up."

I giggled while Taiki rolled her eyes and allowed Seiya to steer me into the living room. It was pretty large and had a couch facing one of the biggest televisions I'd ever seen. Seiya sat me down on the couch and then fetched the remote control. I suspected that they didn't do very much watching, though, because she looked at it blankly before passing it over to me. I switched the television on as she came to sit down. A quiet thrill of warmth went through me when she sat so close that our thighs were touching, and I felt calm when she allowed me to curl up beside her with my head on her shoulder, my arms wound around one of hers.

The television was keyed into a news channel. I flinched slightly when I saw that they were showing footage of the downtown area, much of which was still cordoned off due to the level of destruction. I could see people in the background sifting through the concrete and remains of the falling buildings. "The search for survivors is continuing after what the government is calling the worst storm of the century," the woman was saying, pointing to the screen. Her expression was grave. "Unfortunately, Police Chief Nakamura Okito says that the likelihood of finding anyone else alive after such a long period of time is not good."

Switch to a grainy footage of a man in his thirties with a moustache. It was raining and he was squinting into the camera. "My men have been working steadily for the past week to evacuate the area and give help to whoever we can," he said. "As each day passes we are finding more bodies than people who are still alive. With the exclusion of today the weather has been agreeable, but that doesn't change the fact that some of the buildings need to be stabilized before we can search. It's taking a lot of time but we'll remain diligent in our efforts to save whoever might be left."

Now the woman was back. "We're urging everyone who is missing a family member to report their name and description at your local police station. Many of the bodies have been left without identification. In the meantime, we encourage people to remain in their homes. Schools and businesses alike are shut down until further notice."

I felt cold. Seiya must have felt me shiver because she tilted my head up. "What's wrong?" she asked gently.

"My... my family," I stammered. "I can't believe... Oh god, Seiya, I haven't contacted them once. They must think that I'm dead by now!"

Seiya's eyes widened. "Shit," she muttered. "I'm sorry, Odango, we should have thought about it."

"No, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known. It wasn't your responsibility." I put a hand to my head. My mother must have been devastated. She'd be freaking out thinking that I was hurt or dead somewhere. Why hadn't I thought about them earlier? God, first Luna and Artemis and now my family. I was such a horrible person.

"Shh." Seiya wrapped her arms around me and stroked my hair. I realized that I was crying. "It's alright. We'll go see them first thing tomorrow, alright? And then they'll know that you're safe. I'm sure that they'll forgive you once they realize that you're okay."

Something in my stomach twisted uncomfortably. I pressed my head to Seiya's shoulder and held on tight so that she couldn't see my face. I wanted to see my family. I wanted to make sure they were okay. But even more than that, I wanted to stay with the Starlights. They were the only ones who knew about everything that had gone on, the only ones who could understand me. I didn't want to go back to my normal life where I only saw them once in a while. But how could I ask them to let me stay with them? It wasn't their place to take care of me. It never had been. I was pretty sure they'd only done it this long out of professional courtesy; I'd saved their lives, even if I couldn't save Kakyuu, and they were repaying me by making sure I didn't curl up and die.

I swallowed hard, my throat aching with suppressed tears. Maybe they wanted to go back to Kinmoku and they were just waiting for the opportunity to get rid of me. I wouldn't have blamed them if they did. Kinmoku was their home, after all, and maybe even without Princess Kakyuu there would be a way to save it and re-build. The thought of being without the three of them was unbearable, but I had no right to ask them to stay. Earth was not their home and Seiya had made it clear to me from the day I found out who she really was that they'd never had any intention of staying. Still, though, I wanted them to.

"Seiya," I said, and I hated the way that my voice quivered.

"Yes?" She pulled back a little and looked at me, and the warmth in her face made me feel like crying all over again for a different reason. Sometimes I thought that Seiya might still love me and it pulled me in two different directions. I still loved Mamo-chan but there had been moments even before I'd lost them that I couldn't help loving Seiya too. She was so good to me in ways that I didn't deserve. That was what stopped me from telling her my selfish whims. The words caught in my throat and refused to come out no matter how much I wanted them to, and then the moment was lost when Yaten poked her head inside the living room and announced that dinner was ready. When she saw how we were sitting she paused and a concerned look came over her face.

"Everything alright?" she asked cautiously.

"It's okay," said Seiya. "Just saw something on the television that was a bit upsetting."

Yaten nodded. "Come when you're ready," she said, and walked away.

"Odango." Seiya tilted my chin up and wiped at the fresh tears that had spilled onto my cheeks with the sleeve of her shirt. Her touch was incredibly gentle. "You can tell me anything. I want you to know that no matter what you say it could never turn me away from you. I'll hear anything, okay?"

I almost started crying again. I didn't deserve her. "Okay," I said, and the only indication that I was upset was the way my voice wobbled a little. I wondered what I would do when they were gone and I was completely alone. How would I care for the Earth by myself? What would happen when it came time for Crystal Tokyo? What if another enemy struck before then? Would I be able to handle it without the power of the combined planets behind me? After all, who knew how long it would be before the senshi were reborn? The questions spiralled through my mind and I ducked my head, feeling weaker by the moment. Seiya caught my arm before I could fall over completely and held me up against her.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Come on. You'll feel better after you eat, I promise." She half-carried me through the doors and into what passed for the dining room, putting me into a seat and sliding in beside me. Yaten regarded us both with worry in her eyes as Taiki carried in our meal from the kitchen. She was sitting across from me, with Taiki across from Seiya. Luna and Artemis had been granted a spot on the table at the end, but beside me was another seat, empty. I stared at it, knowing who should have been there.

"No change in Chibi-Chibi?" I asked hollowly.

Taiki sighed. She didn't seem surprised that I knew. "I'm afraid not. She's still asleep and I don't know what to do. Nothing we've tried has woken her up and I'm running out of ideas."

"I could..." I put a hand to my chest, where my locket usually rested. It was, at present, still on the nightstand, but the others knew instantly what I meant.

"No!" Seiya said vehemently. "You're too weak. Using the ginzuishou any more could kill you."

"But…" My protests died when she shook her head firmly and I looked down, listlessly bringing my fork to my mouth. The taste of the warm chicken didn't do anything to assuage the sick feeling in my stomach. During the days when I was only semi-conscious in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, I remembered hearing them talk about Chibi-Chibi. It felt strange not having her around. No, actually it just felt strange not having _a _child around me, period. For so long I'd had either Chibi-Usa or Chibi-Chibi to deal with that now that I knew what it was like to have time to myself, it was awful.

"Usagi-chan, Seiya's right. Wait until you're at full strength," Luna told me. "Artemis and I have seen Chibi-Chibi. She really is just sleeping. It's not hurting her." Her ruby eyes watched me sadly. "The battle took a lot out of everyone."

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"Eat your dinner first," Taiki said.

Now it was like I was the child. I kept eating, chewing the food even though it tasted like cardboard and stuck in my throat when I tried to swallow. I only managed about half the plate before I couldn't eat anymore. Then I took my glass and drank small sips of milk while the others finished. They were talking about a meeting Yaten had had with their producer. I tried to pretend that I wasn't listening even while I was hanging onto every word. It didn't sound like things had been going well, though no one had caught on to the fact that they were no longer male yet, and Yaten didn't know what to do. I was worried the answer would be for them to leave before anyone did catch on.

Not wanting to listen anymore, I stood up and walked away from the table. I opened the door to Taiki's room before I found Yaten's. Chibi-Chibi was sleeping inside, curled up on a little cot that had been shoved between Yaten's bed and dresser. I stepped into the room and knelt beside her, looking at her closely. As far as I could tell, Luna and Taiki were right. She appeared to be deeply sleeping, her little thumb tucked into her mouth, her chest rising and falling with every slow breath. My heart ached to see her like that and I reached out, brushing a strand of dark pink hair off of her cheek. She and the Starlights were all I had left, and soon I might not even have that.

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I know this story is kind of angsty; it'll get better after a while. Maybe. Enjoy!

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My legs were shaking with nerves as Seiya and I walked towards my house. It had been decided that having Yaten and Taiki there might be a little overwhelming for my family, but no one had suggested I go on my own and for that I was thankful. It was the first time I'd been out of the apartment since the battle and I had both hands clutching at Seiya's arm as I flinched away from anyone else who came close. No matter what I did, I couldn't rid myself of the irrational fear that she would disappear if I let go. I knew it wasn't true, I knew that I was being foolish, but that's part of what fear is. Sometimes it didn't make sense and this was one of those times.

"Odango, are you sure you're ready for this?" Seiya asked me as we stopped in front of the house. "We don't have to go in. We can turn around and go back."

"No," I said in a wavering voice. "But I have to. I can't let my family think that I'm dead any longer, Seiya. It's not right."

She sighed, which meant she agreed with me, and put a hand to the back of my head. Yaten had braided my hair for me. It fell almost all the way down to my calves. "Come on then. Let's get this over with."

It was almost an instinct to reach for the doorbell when we finally got to the door. This no longer felt like my home. I had to remind myself that I had the right to open the door without knocking. It was very quiet inside as I pushed it open and for a moment I thought no one was home. But then I heard the sound of my mother's voice coming from the kitchen. Seiya and I stepped forward at the same time. Neither of us bothered to take our shoes off as we moved towards the kitchen together. My mother was standing over the stove, singing softly along with the radio.

"Mom?" I said.

I saw her freeze in the middle of cutting up a potato. Her hands started to shake and her shoulders hunched and for a long moment she didn't move. Then all of a sudden she whirled around, and her eyes were wide and glossy with tears. "Usagi," she whispered. "Oh my god… Usagi!" she shouted that loud word and then she rushed across the room and grabbed both me and Seiya in a hug so tight I squeaked.

There was the sound of running footsteps and then my dad and Shingo hurried in. I had a split second to register the surprise on their faces and then they were joining in on the hug, even Shingo, who threw his arms around my waist and clung to me. I could tell that the embrace made Seiya a little uncomfortable but she was willing to bear it for me, and I took her hand and squeezed it, hoping she would know how much it meant that she had chosen to come. Judging by the way she looked at me, she did, and that made me feel even warmer inside as my mother finally backed off to let us breathe.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," she kept saying, holding onto my free hand. "You're alive. We thought you were dead!"

"I'm sorry," I said, biting my lip. "I didn't mean to make you worry. I've staying with my friends all this time." I held up Seiya's hand like it would be some sort of proof. "I should've contacted you sooner but I was sick. I'm sorry."

"You were sick?" Mom's eyes widened and she looked me over. "You weren't… hurt?"

"Not badly," Seiya said immediately and I could have hugged her for cutting them off at the pass. "Not nearly enough to go the hospital. She was never in any real danger." She caught my eye as she said that and I had to take a deep breath to keep down the hysterical laughter that wanted to escape. We had been in more danger than anyone, and if I hadn't been a senshi I would have died, but both of us knew that there was no reason for that to be shared with anyone else.

"Thank god," Mom said, and she put a hand over her heart as her shoulders slumped. "I was hoping that would be the case, but with every day that went by I thought for sure that you..." She stared at me, tears shimmering in her eyes.

"I'm okay," I said, patting her arm gently. "Really, Mom, I'm fine."

She nodded. "Why don't you and your friend go sit down at the table with Shingo."

It wasn't a question. Shingo immediately turned and walked into the dining room. Seiya followed him. I turned my head and looked back at my parents before I went after them, and I was just in time to see my father wrapping my mother up in a huge hug. The ferocity of their embrace made my heart ache. I hadn't meant to frighten them and I felt guilty for having putting so much of a toll on them. I could see that the last few weeks had aged them both; there were new lines in Mom's face and Dad had a few gray hairs where there hadn't been any before. I wondered what they would say if I told them that I no longer wanted to live at home with them but instead wanted to stay with the Starlights. I hadn't discussed it with them yet but it was what I wanted, just not what I thought I would get.

"Nee-chan," Shingo's voice called to me and I looked over at him. He was sitting at the table but there was no sign of Seiya. Pure fear constricted my chest and Shingo rose to his feet quickly, looking alarmed. "Usagi, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Seiya said from right behind me. Her voice was accompanied by a strong, reassuring hand on my shoulder. "I was just using the bathroom, that's all."

It must have been the fastest trip to the bathroom in the world – that, or she was trying to test how far away from me she could get before I panicked. I hoped it wasn't that. I sat down at the table and she sat next to me, her thigh pressed against mine. My parents came in a couple of minutes later with platters of rice and grilled fish and vegetables. There was more than enough for the five of us and I wondered why Mom had made so much for only three people, until I caught the way she was looking at me, all misty-eyed, and I realized she'd probably been praying for this to happen.

I told them a little more about what had happened while we ate, though I was careful about how many details I gave. I didn't want to say anything that I might contradict later. "I got caught at the temple," I told them, "And I was separated from the others. Seiya found me and brought me back to the apartment he shares with Yaten-kun and Taiki-san." It was hard to remember to refer to Seiya as a "he" instead of a "she". They'd been female since the battle and I hadn't taken long to get used to that even though I'd originally known them as boys. Strange how fast lines could be crossed.

"I suppose the road blocks were keeping you there," said Dad.

I nodded. It was as good an excuse as any. "The downtown is a real mess," I confirmed. "Concrete and debris everywhere, fallen trees, glass… No cars or buses allowed and even walking is slow. The telephone lines are down, too." I didn't know if that was true but at least it was an explanation for why I hadn't called.

"You poor thing," Mom said, looking at me sympathetically. "Thank God you're finally home."

My stomach curdled and I put my chopsticks down. I hadn't eaten much and my appetite was now entirely non-existent. "Mom…"

"Dessert," she said. "I'll get dessert."

She was gone before I could say anything.

Shingo said, "It's been hard for her, you know. We thought you were dead." There was a strange look in his eyes that I couldn't identify. It wasn't anger. Relief maybe?

"I know. I thought the same thing might have happened to you," I said quietly. The destruction had extended so far. Any of them could have been killed. I was so glad they were alright because I didn't think I could've taken another death, but it made me feel guilty for wanting to go back with Seiya.

"Have you heard from your friends?" Dad asked.

It was a reasonable question to ask but hearing it made me feel like someone had punched me in the stomach. Speechless, unable to squeeze any words out, I just shook my head numbly. Seiya reached out and put her hand on top of mine. She said, "We keep hoping that we're going to hear something, that it will turn out a miracle has happened, but there comes a point when you have to face reality and accept that sometimes things don't always turn out the way you want them to."

I turned my hand over so that our fingers could intertwine and clung to her. There would be no miracle, not this time.

Mom came back into the room carrying a small cake on a platter before Dad could respond. It looked delicious, vanilla ice cream decorated with fresh strawberries, and I wondered where she'd gotten the fruit from. She put it on the table and sat down, wielding a knife to cut it with. Her eyes glanced briefly around the room and I watched them land on our joined hands. I saw the jolt that passed through her as she processed what she was seeing. Her hand tightened briefly around the knife. I could guess what she thought it meant. She looked up at me and her lips parted to speak. I didn't want to hear what she had to say. I spoke first.

"I want to go back with Seiya."

In retrospect, it might not have been the best time to say it, but then, I didn't know if there was a good time. Mom was thinking I was home for good and I wanted to get that notion out of her head as quickly as possible. I couldn't stay here. I _couldn't_. Seiya's hand tightened around mine and when I looked at her she was staring at me in outright shock. Mom had gone very still and quiet. Dad was frowning. Shingo was the only one who didn't seem to be overly surprised by my statement.

"It's too dangerous," Mom said at last. "You can visit later."

I took a deep breath. "Not to visit. To live."

Seiya was holding my hand so tight it hurt.

"Usagi." Mom stared at me. This had hit her out of the blue. She didn't know how to respond. "You live _here_. You _belong_ here, with your family. You're only sixteen years old."

"You don't understand." Humiliatingly enough, my voice broke. "I don't. I belong with them. Please, I have to. Don't make me leave them." My free hand was starting to shake and I put under the table in my lap in the hopes that no one would notice. "I came to see you because I wanted you to know that I was alright, but I… I…" I couldn't say anymore. The room went blurry as hot tears welled up in my eyes.

Seiya let go of my hand and wrapped her arm around my shoulders and I fell against her gratefully, glad for the chance to hide my face from the world. I sobbed once and she shushed me, her hand stroking my hair. "My brothers and I would be relieved to have Usagi stay with us," she said. "Please consider her request."

I turned my head and looked at my parents pleadingly. It was impossible to tell what they were thinking. I could only choke out, "Please" and hope for the best.

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	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews. Enjoy.

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Mom looked at us for a long time without saying anything. I could just barely make out her face past the tears and I could see the "no" in her eyes that she didn't know how to say. It was obvious that she was afraid of disappointing me, of what my reaction would be if she told me that I had to stay here. I realized in a sudden flash of insight that she was worried I would leave anyway. I might have been only sixteen and in their eyes a child but at that moment I think my mother recognized something in me that held her tongue when she would have otherwise spoken. And maybe my dad did too, because he was the one who finally broke the silence.

"We've been very concerned about you, Usagi," he said, putting a hand on Mom's shoulder. "It would make your mother and I feel better if you were staying under our roof so that we could know you were safe. But I can understand, in lieu of the current situation, that staying with your friends might make you feel better. You can go for the time being but we're going to discuss this when things get back to normal." He gave me a hard look. "And you have to promise that you will call us every single night to let us know you're alright, no exceptions."

A rush of relief went through me, so hot and heady that I might've crumbled to the floor had it not been for Seiya's arms, which kept me resolutely on my feet. "Thank you," I said, clutching her even tighter, if that was possible. It was just as well that we weren't going to discuss it on a permanent basis at the moment because I didn't know what would happen. "And don't worry; I'll take good care of Chibi-Chibi."

Dad looked puzzled. "Chibi-Chibi? Is that one of your friends?"

I felt Seiya stiffen in surprise, bit his question didn't shock me. Not really. I'd seen this happen before when Chibi-Usa came to stay with me the first time. She had used the Luna Ball to make Mom, Dad and Shingo believe that she was their niece and cousin, and when she'd returned to the future the spell had automatically broken. Returning home the first time I lost her and realizing that my family didn't remember she had ever existed had been extremely hard. This was the same. Whatever mysterious power Chibi-Chibi had used to make them think that she was my little sister must have worn off when Chibi-Chibi faded away during the battle.

"Yes, she's one of my friends," I confirmed wearily. Another reason to stay with Seiya, Yaten and Taiki, then. Chibi-Chibi, if she remained in this world with us, would be my responsibility. I'd have to come up with some explanation for her if I had to move back home.

"Well I'm glad to hear that at least one of them is safe," Dad said, trying for a bit of levity. It wasn't really working but I appreciated the effort, at least.

"Usagi, you have to promise to be careful," Mom said. Her chin was trembling but her eyes were clear and dry. "I don't like this, especially not so soon after we just got you back. If it were up to me you would stay here. And I still think that you belong here with your family, but this seems to be important to you and so I'm willing to let you go as long as you won't get yourself into any trouble."

"I'll do my best," I said. I had the feeling that she would have liked to hug me, but that would've meant letting go of Seiya and I wasn't prepared to do that just yet. My tears had dried and I was speaking reasonably calmly but underneath it all I was shaking, hopefully imperceptible to anyone but Seiya. It had been a much closer call than I liked to consider.

"Will you stay for dessert?" she asked.

"I think it would be best if we got going," Seiya answered for me. "It's getting late and the police don't like people to be out after dark. They say that it's unsafe considering that the roads are still covered in a lot of debris. We wouldn't want to get stuck somewhere on the way back."

It was the best thing she could have said. Mom practically foamed at the mouth at the thought of the two of us being trapped somewhere, and in the space of about ten minutes I was being hugged and kissed repeatedly while she shoved us out the door with instructions to go straight back to the apartment and call once we were there. She put a plate of cake into my hands, gave me one last kiss on the forehead, and then shut the door behind us. I stared blankly down at the cake and wondered if, on the other side of the door, my mother had just collapsed into tears because of me.

"Odango?"

"Thank you," I said before Seiya could say anything else. I looked up from the cake and into her beautiful eyes, a deep, dark blue that reflected worry back at me. "I'm sorry for not talking about it with you first. I don't mean to impose on you guys. I know you probably want to go back to Kinmoku as soon as possible. But I just couldn't stand being there with my family right now." The words felt hollow and tasted horrible. "I'll go back to them soon, I promise, and then you can leave."

"Leave? Where did you get that idea? Do you…" Seiya paused, studying me, and then shook her head. "Okay, we're going to go home and then we're going to talk," she said, taking my hand and tucking it into the curve of her elbow. "We're all going to have a very long talk. Come on."

I fell into step beside her, her thigh brushing against my hip with every step. No one gave us a second look and I wondered if that was strange for her to be out in public and have people completely ignore her instead of fawn like they normally did. They should have recognized her, too. She was disguised as a boy, I knew, with her breasts bound flat, but not in the magical way. Now that Kakyuu was dead they couldn't do that anymore: they were trapped as females. I glanced at her, seized by sudden curiosity. Did they miss being able to live as boys?

"What?" she asked.

"Do you miss being a boy?"

The question surprised her and she was silent for a moment, considering, before she replied. "It was handy, I suppose. No one on Earth would ever have connected us with the Sailor Starlights. It made us feel more comfortable in being able to hide our identities. I didn't mind it so much, and I think Taiki was alright with it, but Yaten had a hard time. She's always been the most feminine out of the three of us and that was difficult for her to get used to. Boys don't really pay much attention to fashion and clothes here on Earth."

I thought about that. "But you have female clothing, too," I pointed out, indicating what I was wearing. A pair of jeans, borrowed from Yaten, and another one of Seiya's shirts. It was too big on me but it was unquestionably a girl's shirt. I could tell from the cut.

"Well, yes. I said it was harder for Yaten but it was still a pain for me and Taiki. Sometimes the mental aspect of it is what you have to get used to." She gave a shrug with one shoulder and smiled impishly. "For a little while there the three of us were girls disguised as boys who dressed as girls in our free time."

I laughed out loud. "I wish I'd seen that."

Seiya stared at me and looked pleased. "That's one of the first times I've heard you really laugh since you got out of bed," she said quietly.

For some reason the comment made me flush. "I guess I haven't had much to laugh about," I answered, squeezing her arm. What I didn't say was that laughing even for a moment had felt surprisingly good. Maybe my life wasn't over after all. I thought about that for the rest of the walk, and Seiya must have realized that I was thinking because she didn't say anything else to distract me until we got there and she had to drop my hand to get the key out of her pocket.

"Your family is very nice. I can tell they love you a lot," she said.

"Yeah, they do," I said quietly. Mom and Dad had always been there for me even when I hadn't really deserved it. I felt a little guilty at abandoning them when they clearly needed me, but for once I had to be selfish and think of myself first. I needed to do this, to be here with the Starlights, for as long as I could. Real life would intrude all too quickly. I looked up and started to say something to her but all words fled my mind. I stared at the shadowy spot in between the two apartment buildings, my heart suddenly pounding.

"Odango? Usagi, what's wrong?" Seiya had the door open. When she saw my face she frowned and took several steps closer to me.

"What? Oh, nothing. I just thought I saw…" I let my voice trail off uncertainly. For a moment I thought I'd seen the iridescent glow of energy formed into balls small enough to be held above the palm of a hand. But now there was nothing, the alley completely dark, and I had the unnerving thought that if someone wanted to watch us it would be all too easy and we would never know. I twisted and took the last few steps to the door, tugging at the handle. "Come on, let's go in."

She was frowning as she unlocked the door again and pulled it open for me to go through first. I felt safer as soon as it was shut, one more barrier between us and the world, but I didn't fully relax until we were back in the apartment and she was sliding the locks into place. I heard the sound of Yaten and Taiki talking and then I was amazed at just how _much_ I relaxed. It was like several knots of tension in my body loosened all at once, making me feel so weak I had to lean against the wall. I was back and all four of us were there and it was, it was okay, just for the time being.

"You alright?" Seiya asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, smiling at her and pushing off of the wall. She gripped my arm and we walked into the living room together. Yaten and Taiki were sitting on the couch. Taiki was reading and Yaten was watching television. Both of them looked up when we came in.

"You're back," Taiki noted, raising an eyebrow.

"Odango decided that she would rather stay with us," Seiya told them, letting go of me. I took that as permission to move closer, and it seemed almost automatic that Yaten and Taiki inched apart, leaving just enough space in between them for me. When I sat down, they were so close that I couldn't move my arms without risking hitting someone and I loved it. Seiya followed me over and knelt down in front of me. I was surrounded on all sides and it made me feel so safe, especially when she leaned against my legs.

"I thought you'd want to be with your family," Yaten said.

I closed my eyes and my hands clenched around the plate of cake that I was still carrying. There would be no better opening than that, I knew. "I am, and I don't want to leave, not ever."

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	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! Hopefully you'll find this chapter marginally happier. Enjoy!

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There was a long pause. I kept my eyes trained on my lap, not willing to look up and see their faces, dreading what I might see there. Finally, Seiya said, "Why would you have to leave?"

"Because you guys aren't going to stay here," I said and the weight of saying it out loud made me feel like I was being choked. A hollow pain opened up just underneath my ribs and threatened to swallow me whole and I had to force myself to keep speaking. "I know that there's a good chance Kinmoku can still be saved even without Princess Kakyuu. The three of you are strong enough to re-build it together." My hands were actually shaking. "After all, there was never any expectation that you would stay here once the battle was over. Earth isn't your home so I don't expect you to. I… There's nothing left for you here." I couldn't say anymore. The resulting silence was oppressive and I shut my eyes.

Yaten took a deep breath next to me and then she took the plate off of my knees and set it aside before she took my hand. "Usagi, look at me." Her voice was very serious and offered no arguments. I reluctantly opened my eyes and turned my head, meeting her vivid green gaze. "The reason we came to Earth was to find Princess Kakyuu. You know that. She was the light of our planet, the last royal to walk on the grounds of Kinmoku, and without her, without Sailor Kakyuu, there is no hope of restoring our planet."

"Oh." I hadn't known that Princess Kakyuu was a senshi, but it made sense. "What if I helped?"

"Even with your help, it wouldn't work," said Taiki. In a move that surprised me, she took my other hand and held it in both of hers. "We appreciate the offer, especially because we know you really would do everything you could, but Kinmoku died when it came clear that Princess Kakyuu was not going to return. Trying to re-build without her would be a wasted effort. And besides, you would never be able to leave Earth for that long."

I blinked. "Me? Why would I leave Earth?"

"Well you didn't think we'd just leave you here, did you?" Seiya asked. She was smirking, but it was gentle, and she shifted around until she was on her knees with her hands resting on my thighs, her head tilted teasingly. "Come on, Odango. You belong to us now."

My throat felt like it was swelling shut. "I do?"

"Of course. You're a princess without any senshi and the three of us just so happen to be senshi without a princess. A match made in heaven, don't you think?" Her voice was lighthearted but there was something kind about the way she reached up and cupped my cheek, brushing away a tear before I even realized it was there. "Odango, we would never leave you here alone, even if we knew that you weren't going to be in danger, and even if Princess Kakyuu hadn't given us to you, _and _even if your own senshi hadn't entrusted you to our care." Her thumb stroked the curve of my cheek and she smiled. "As long as you want us here, we'll stay, and in the meantime you can live with us for as long as you like. Forever, if you want."

I started crying in earnest. I couldn't help myself. Her words were easing a heavy weight that had been taking a toll on me ever since the battle. "I don't want you to go," I said. "I want you stay."

"Then we will," Yaten replied, squeezing my hand tightly. I looked at her and had to wonder how incredibly difficult this had to be for them. Kinmoku was their home and I was sure that what had sustained them for many months was the dream of having their planet restored. Knowing that it would never happen had to be hard to accept. I wished with all my heart that there was something I could do, but a small part of me was just ridiculously relieved that they were going to stay.

I fell asleep there, on the couch between the three of them, and that night I had a dream. Mamoru came to me and held me in his arms while I cried and told him how much I missed him. He kissed my forehead and told me he loved me, and the warmth in his eyes and voice told me exactly what was going to happen next. I was ready for it. We'd never have a wedding, we'd never have a future, we'd never anything else but this, and if it was only in my dreams I'd take what I could get. His hands moved over my skin gently, divesting me of my clothing, and I returned the favor, gladly inviting him into my body the way I would never be able to do in life, and through it all I felt the gentle pulse of the ginzuishou surrounding us. It was everything I had hoped for and it was over all too soon. He slipped out of me and I grabbed him desperately, afraid he would slide away entirely.

"Please," I said desperately. "Don't leave me."

"Usako, I can't control what's already been done."

"But Mamo-chan…"

"Shh, my love. Listen to me carefully. I won't see you again, Usako. My starseed is going to be reborn. I don't want you wait for me to grow up again. I may be a different person." His hand caressed my cheek lovingly, just the way Seiya had done hours earlier. "And it could be years before we meet again. I want you to grab happiness with these hands and hold on." He took my free hand from his arm, brought it up to his mouth and kissed the underside of my wrist, over where my pulse beat.

"How can I without you? I don't want to forget you."

"I didn't say you had to. I'd prefer if you didn't. I'm selfish enough to want to live in your memory." He smiled sadly. "But I love you enough to want you to move on."

The very concept was foreign to me. "I wouldn't - "

"Shh," he murmured again, kissing my lips gently. "You will because you're only human, Usako, and you have the greatest capacity for love of anyone I have ever had the fortune to meet. Don't close your eyes to the love you've already found out of a misguided attempt to remain true to what we had. That's not what I want for you. Grow up, grow old, have a family. Be the queen I always knew you could be, even if it's with someone different at your side. Will you do this for me?"

I closed my eyes and didn't know what to say. The thought of what he was asking me to do hurt a lot. Sometimes I would wake up in the morning and still expect him to be there beside me. I could hardly imagine trying to accept that not only would he not be there, but that he wanted me to be with someone else instead. I heard a choked sob pass through my lips and his thumb rubbed over my cheekbone in response, brushing away a tear that had escaped. He didn't rush me, though; just waited for me to respond with the same gentle patience he had always shown with me.

"I won't go looking for it, but if it finds me I will try to be open to it," I said at last, and my voice was shaking so much that I could barely get the words out.

"You needn't worry. Like I said, you have already found it, and when you're ready you will know that I wholeheartedly approve." He paused and then I felt the air shift. A moment later his lips brushed gently over my forehead, directly between my eyes, and then my nose, and then finally my lips. It was a kiss I had shared with him once before when we were Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion, on the night that Beryl ended the Silver Millennium. It was a kiss good-bye and as sweet as it was, it was painful, burning its way across my lips and into my heart. He pulled away too soon and said, "Listen to me, Usako. In my bedroom in the back of my closet is a box. I want you to look for it as soon as you can, understood?"

"Mamo-chan, please don't leave me," I whispered, keeping my eyes closed.

"I have to. I have no choice. But I will return to you someday, Usako. You have my word on that." He took my hand and slipped my ring off. I hadn't taken it off since he'd given it to me and my finger felt naked without it. "I'll keep this and when I come to you I'll have this as proof, so that you'll know it's me."

I couldn't answer him. I was crying in earnest now, the tears sliding freely down my cheeks. I could feel him fading away beneath my hands and when I looked at him, forcing my eyes to open, he was translucent, no longer naked but now Endymion, my handsome prince. His smile was warm and loving and I knew I'd never forget the expression in his eyes, the look that said 'you are my everything and I can't imagine a day without you'. I tried to reach out to him as he disappeared entirely, flinging my hand out in one last bid for him to stay.

My hand impacted against something hard. The pain was enough to jolt me awake. I sat up, suddenly disoriented, and looked around. I was in the Starlights' apartment - well, our apartment for the time being, I guess - and at some point the four of us had migrated onto a bed. It was a king-sized bed, so it fit four teenaged girls pretty easily. Seiya was on one side of me and my head had been resting on her chest. Yaten was behind me, curled up with her hand across my waist. Taiki was on the other side of Yaten, her head tilted away, one of her hands stretched up across the pillow to tangle in my hair. The room was dark and quiet and they were all asleep; no one had been awakened by my tears.

I shook my hand out, realizing that I'd hit the headboard. Had that just been a dream? Or had Mamoru really come to visit me? I hoped desperately that it was the latter but there was no way for me to tell, at least not right now. I was shaking with the remnants of the dream and needed some space. It took some work to pry myself away from the Starlights but finally I was free. I crawled to the edge of the bed and put my feet down. Seiya had a balcony attached to her room and I pushed the doors back, stepping outside. I left the door open so that I could get back to them immediately if I needed to.

The moon was bright and shining, nearly full. I closed my eyes as a gentle wind blew, ruffling my hair, and clasped my hand to my chest. The ring was gone, which gave me hope that the dream had been real in some way. I'd had it when I went to sleep. Not wearing it felt odd but I knew, hoped, that Mamo-chan would come to find me one day, and when he did I'd know who he was because of that ring. I wondered if he would remember me, or if I'd have to sit him down and tell him all about who we were and what we were supposed to be.

"I miss you, Mamo-chan," I said out loud. I kept my voice soft, a secret shared just between the wind and me. It was the first time I'd spoke his name without crying. Maybe one day I'd actually feel good when I said it, instead of like there was a crushing sadness inside of me. I knew the promise I'd made to him, but I didn't know how to follow through on it. How could I ever move on?

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	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! Please enjoy.

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Slowly but surely, incredible though it may seem, life in Tokyo began to return to normal. Eventually the rescue crews became clean-up crews, and private services were held for the people who were either dead or missing in action and presumed to be dead. I held off on going to any of them for as long as possible. I had accepted that my friends were gone, but going to a funeral was too much. Seiya had taken me to where we could officially register their names as missing, but I knew that their bodies would never be found, since they had simply faded out of existence once their starseeds were stolen.

Still, the day came when the citywide memorial service was going to be held, and I woke up that morning with a feeling of dread in my stomach. On Monday most of the schools would be reopening, including mine. I didn't know how I would be able to face going back, knowing all of the memories that waited for me there, but I had no choice. My life couldn't stop just because theirs had ended. That wasn't what any of them would have wanted for me; I knew that much in my heart. It would be up to me to carry on as best I could no matter how hard it would be. I was still in bed, trying to summon the strength to get up and face the inevitable, when the partially open door was nudged open fully.

"Usagi?" It was Taiki's voice.

"I'm awake," I said, closing my eyes in spite of my words. I was getting a little better at letting them out of my sight, though I still much preferred the four of us to be in the same general vicinity and one or all of them still slept with me every night. Yaten had fallen asleep in my bed last night, but the space beside me was empty and cool enough to indicate she'd been gone for some time. I could hear her and Seiya speaking in a low murmur out in the kitchen and that was enough to temporarily set my anxious soul at rest.

Taiki walked into the room, setting a covered hanger on the door handle, and sat down on the edge of my bed. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and she looked tired, but she was smiling. "We've been waiting for you to get up. The service begins at 1:00pm and it's almost noon."

"I know." I glanced up at the ceiling. She wanted me to get up, that much was obvious, but I just couldn't. The thought of seeing the grief in all those faces was horrifying. I wanted to apologize to everyone for not being strong enough to stop Galaxia and Chaos before it had ever gotten this far. How could I stand there and look at an endless list of names that I should have been able to protect? My stomach cramped at the thought.

She studied me for a moment. "They want us to play."

"What?" Her words surprised me enough that I sat up, momentarily forgetting my fear. This was interesting. "What do you mean, they want you to play?"

"Our manager contacted us this morning. Apparently they're interested in having _The Three Lights_ play at the memorial service," she explained.

"What did you say?"

"We haven't given an answer either way. We wanted to talk to you first."

That answer made me pause. I wasn't sure how I felt about them including me in such an important decision. On the one hand, it was nice because it made me feel like they had truly accepted my presence in their lives. On the other hand, it hurt, because a month ago I would've been fortunate to have even known that they were going to playing before the concert began. It was conflicting. "You're not sure you want to do it?" I asked. "You don't have to."

"No, I know. We're considering it. I think it would be very nice if we did, though. Some of those people, they were our fans, and it would be good to give their stars a proper goodbye." Taiki looked down at the blanket. Something twisted in her face and she took a deep breath. "I heard that Misa-chan was among those who went missing during the battle. Her name was on the list for the memorial service."

Oh. My stomach wrenched and I couldn't resist leaning forward and taking her hand so that I could squeeze it gently in an attempt to offer her comfort. I remembered little Misa, the child with the hopeful eyes who had been touched by their music to the point that she had been able to draw a picture of Princess Kakyuu. She'd given Taiki the hope to go on just when it seemed like the war would never end. And now they'd found and lost her and so many other things at the same time. The misery on Taiki's face was blatantly obvious and I wished that I could do something to relieve it. I felt so useless.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

"She was just a little kid," Taiki said, not taking her eyes off of the bed. "She had so many dreams of the things that she would be able to do after her surgery. The hospital was torn apart in the first wave of the attack. I don't think she ever even made it out."

There were no words to describe the writhing misery that was flooding through me. If only I'd stopped Galaxia sooner, if only I'd understood, if only we had been able to prevent the war from breaking out. "Taiki…"

"I just thought you should know," she said quietly.

"Yes, of course, thank you for telling me." I hesitated before tentatively reaching out, not sure that my hug would be welcome. Taiki had always been the one who'd stood apart from us, from me, the most. Even sarcastic Yaten hadn't been as difficult for me to understand. I longed for Ami, who seemed to be able to connect with Taiki easily. She would've known how to make this better.

Taiki looked up at me as though startled by the touch, but I could see from a single look that it was something she was desperately craving. I edged across the bed and wrapped my arm around her, guiding her closer so that she could put her head on my shoulder. She was stiff against me at first, but gradually she started to relax and I felt her hands come to ball up in my shirt. It had been a long time since I'd been able to comfort anyone else. I put my hand on her back and started to slide it up and down, something that I remembered my mother doing for me and which I hoped she'd find soothing.

The Starlights were such a mystery to me sometimes, Taiki especially. I thought it came from her quiet but intense dislike of the Earth and how hard she had worked to make sure that she never found anything to love or care about. It had taken me a long time to understand that she was trying to protect herself from losing anything or anyone else, whether Galaxia won or not. It had taken me longer to get that in some ways she and I were very much the same. Taiki was just better at concealing her pain that I would ever be.

"I'm sorry," I said, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. She was shaking. "I'm _so_ sorry." I didn't say anything else, though there were plenty of words on the tip of my tongue. I just sat there and rocked her back and forth, even when the sleeve of my shirt grew damp.

After a long time she tensed and pulled away to sit up. Her face was streaked with tears but I could see calm in her that hadn't been there before. She looked at me and said, "I didn't mean to do that."

I had to smile. "It's okay. Everyone needs to release sometimes." I remembered the first time I'd ever seen her laugh, when Makoto had been on that cooking show and I'd nearly ruined everything with my klutzy ways and Taiki had just started laughing. Seiya had come up to me afterwards and kissed me on the cheek and said thank you. At the time I'd been confused but now I got it. "You know there's nothing wrong with it. We'll still respect you in the morning."

"It's just… not what I'm used to," she said awkwardly.

"I have to tell you, Taiki, that this situation? None of us are used to it. At all." I didn't know if that helped her or not, but it was the honest truth.

She nodded, looking thoughtful, and stood up. She started to turn to leave and then paused. Without looking at me, she said, "I only came in here to tell you about the offer for us to sing at the memorial service. I really wasn't planning on - "

"Taiki." I got up, too, and stood in front of her. She was so much taller than me. I had to tilt my head back to look up at her, but it meant that she couldn't glance away. "Don't be sorry. If I'm going to be your princess now, that means we share everything, sorrow included. If you need me, I'm here for you, even if you just want to cry in my lap and then walk away without saying a word." I needed to know that she understood I was here, that I could be what they needed when they needed me.

"Our princess…" she repeated and smiled. "You know, I've never thought of you like that. You're so different from…"

"From Princess Kakyuu?" I filled in gently, knowing that's what she had meant. She nodded and sat back down on the bed, like just hearing the name was too much. "There's nothing wrong with that, you know. I'm not here to replace her. I don't think I could if I tried. I just want to be your friend." God, those words were familiar to me. How many times had I said the exact same thing to Haruka and Michiru? I looked away and took a deep breath, working through the inevitable pain that flooded me when I thought about them.

When I turned around, Taiki was watching me, and there was a funny little smile on her face. "You are the strangest person I've ever met," she said wonderingly. "Is there anyone you wouldn't be friends with?"

"Yes," I said immediately, not having to think very hard about who those people might be. Some of the enemies we had faced in the past had won my sympathy in the end, but others didn't deserve compassion. They were cold-hearted and cruel and possessed a genuine desire to inflict pain and suffering. I had learned that those people deserved what they got. "But you and Yaten and Seiya are nothing like them."

She frowned and I knew I'd piqued her curiosity. I smiled at her. "I'll tell you all, someday, what went on here before you came. The sailor senshi and I faced many enemies together. Galaxia was not the first person who threatened to bring Earth to its knees. I suspect she won't be the last." In fact, I knew she wouldn't be. Even if Crystal Tokyo never came to be, eventually someone would come along and try to take over Earth again. It was inevitable.

"You'll have to," Taiki said. She walked over to the door and picked up the clothing she'd been carrying when she walked in. She pulled up the plastic covering with a flourish, revealing a beautiful black dress with a little pink coat that went over it. There was a small white bunny emblazoned on the breast of the coat.

"Is that for me?" I asked in a whisper. I'd been wondering what I would wear to the service.

"Yes. Yaten got it for you. She's amazingly adept at picking out clothing for other people." Taiki handed it to me. "Get dressed and we'll go."

I nodded. "Taiki?"

"Yes?"

"You guys should sing." I tightened my grip on the hanger and looked up into her eyes, hoping that she would see my sincerity. "I want you to."

Her eyes softened and she smiled. "Then we will."

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**Note:** Misa is the child from Sailor Moon Sailor Stars episode 185: _Taiki Sings With Excellence! A Believing Heart Carried By A Song._

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	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! Have had loads of questions about the enemy… it's coming! Enjoy.

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They sang and it was beautiful.

As soon as they let their manager know that they were going to do it, things turned into a whirlwind. A car showed up outside the apartment for us within minutes. I carried Chibi-Chibi in my arms as I climbed inside. She was still sleeping but she had gradually been showing more signs of becoming conscious; she was aware enough to curl into me when I picked her up, and I thought that, even sleeping, she might like to be there for the memorial service. Yaten, Taiki and Seiya were all dressed in green, lavender and red suits, respectively, with white shirts. The colors looked good on them and I knew no one would notice that they weren't technically male anymore. I, of course, was in the black dress with the pink jacket, which fit perfectly.

Seiya was sitting beside me during the ride and she had her arm wrapped almost absently around my shoulders. I allowed the contact, delighting in the fact that she wanted to touch me. I craved it. I leaned against her, shifting Chibi-Chibi carefully in my lap, and said, "Are you nervous?"

"No," she said, and the rapidity of her response told me it was an honest answer. "I think it's going to be hard to say good-bye, though." Her thumb rubbed my shoulder idly and I knew she was thinking of Princess Kakyuu. "But I'm glad that we've agreed to do it. She always liked the sound of our voices. We used to sing for her sometimes back home."

I stared, fascinated by the idea of hearing more tales about Kinmoku. The things that Seiya had told me about their planet had been achingly brief, with little detail. "Did you have a civilian life on Kinmoku?" I asked curiously. I tried to imagine the three of them hanging out at a place like the Crown Arcade but I couldn't quite picture it.

"Not really. Everyone knew who we were and what our job entailed," Seiya replied. "Sometimes we went around in our civilian forms, but not like you do. It was very strange to come to Earth and realize that no one knew who you guys were. We'd never had that before."

"I'm glad you got to experience it," I said softly, wondering what it would be like if people knew who I was. That I, klutzy little crybaby Tsukino Usagi, was the beautiful sailor senshi Sailor Moon. Would it be easier? I wouldn't have to hide anymore. I wouldn't need to worry about finding a private place to transform or be concerned that someone might see me, or hope that those rare people who had found out kept their silence. But at the same time I knew it had the potential to be so much harder, not the least of which because my family and friends would immediately be in danger.

"I am too," Seiya said, pulling me out of my thoughts. "In the end, I'm glad that we came to Earth, Odango. Even though things didn't exactly turn out the way that we thought it would…" She trailed off and looked into my eyes. I stared back at her, feeling my heart pound just a little bit quicker.

The car stopped and I looked away, feeling my cheeks flush. What was that? I didn't have time to think about it too closely. Yaten took a deep breath and then flung the door open. The crowd that was waiting for the ceremony to begin stirred when they caught sight ofthe_ Three Lights_. A few people cried out excitedly. Yaten got out first, followed by Taiki, and then Taiki reached her hand in to me. I took it and allowed her to pull me out, and the resulting silence was _deafening_. I pretended not to notice as Seiya stood up next to me. She took my free hand and put it on her arm. It was harder to carry Chibi-Chibi with one arm and eventually Yaten took her from me, balancing Chibi-Chibi on her hip with an ease that surprised me.

Taiki took the lead, striding towards the little stage that they had set up. Just beyond that was the curved wall inscribed with thousands of names. Candles and flowers had been set up in front of the wall and in the twilight they looked luminous, lighting the carved names, a final farewell to the dead. I looked out at the water and remembered, suddenly, being in a rowboat with Mamo-chan on the day that Chibi-Usa first appeared to us. He had lifted me out of the boat and, being the eternal klutz I was, I'd tripped and fallen into his arms. He'd kissed me and our daughter had fallen out of the sky onto my head. She'd been a holy terror at first, driving me crazy, but I'd loved her from the moment I knew she existed, even before I knew who she was.

Seiya's hand tightened on my arm and I looked at her, startled, realizing that I'd stopped walking. I gave her an apologetic smile and stepped forward, keeping pace with her as we finished the walk to the stage. Tokyo's mayor took the microphone and began a speech about those who had been lost. I didn't listen. I didn't need to hear about a country pulling together in the wake of what they believed to be a natural disaster. My heart felt heavy in my chest and I placed a hand on my stomach. I'd looked forward to the day when I would have Chibi-Usa growing inside of me. Knowing that I would never have that was a bitter pill to swallow. She was my baby, my little girl, and I would never see her again.

Hot tears pricked my eyes and I turned my head, pressing my face to Seiya's shoulder. Her hand tightened on mine and a moment later she tilted her head to rest on top of mine. It was a comforting weight, especially when Yaten stepped closer so that her body was a warm presence on my other side. What would I have done without the three of them? My friends had always admired me for being so strong, but what they didn't seem to understand was that I was only strong because I drew from their strength. They were the ones who _made_ me strong. The Starlights had kept me floundering but without them…

Yaten took my hands and wrapped them around Chibi-Chibi as Seiya stepped away. I watched them walk up onto the stage and take their places. It hadn't been so long ago that they were playing their final concert, but it felt like years. I closed my eyes and pressed my nose into Chibi-Chibi's soft hair as their music began. God it was comforting to hear. I'd never been a fan of the _Three Lights_, not until I met Seiya and realized what she would come to mean to me. Now I found their music sweeping through me, filling up a spot inside of me that was aching with emptiness. This time I couldn't hold the tears back and they came freely, sliding down my cheeks.

Chibi-Chibi stirred in my arms. I gasped and looked down at her, at the big blue eyes distantly focused on me. Her lips formed a tiny smile and she reached up a little hand to pat my damp cheek. "Chibi chibi, chii chibi," she said sleepily.

"Chibi-Chibi..." I said breathlessly, and I'm sure she barely heard it over the sound of the music, but she smiled. I couldn't believe that she was finally awake after I'd been waiting for her for so long. I hefted her higher and pressed a kiss to her forehead, overwhelmed with relief. "Thank god you're finally awake, Chibi-Chibi."

"Chibi... chibi chibi," she mumbled, gazing somewhere behind me. I didn't understand until someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around, surprised. My eyes widened in shock when I saw who was standing there. Koan smiled back at me.

"Hello, Usagi-san," she said. Her three sisters were standing close behind her. Berthier waved at me with a cheerful grin. Calaveras and Petz both merely nodded at me.

"Koan! What are you doing here?" I cried. I hadn't seen the four of them for a long time. I knew that Rei had kept in touch with Koan, but we'd been so busy that I'd never gotten around to asking her about them. I was happy to see that all of them looked good, like normal humans only with exceptional taste in fashion. Even at a memorial service they managed to stand out in small but distinct ways that had more than one man eyeing them up.

"We came to pay our respects," Berthier replied kindly. "And we wanted to make sure that you were okay."

The fact that she hadn't asked about the senshi made me wonder if they already knew. I looked at her. "I'm okay," I said hesitantly. "It was... a hard fight."

"We saw the names on the wall," Calaveras said, gesturing over her shoulder. There was pity in her eyes and for once it didn't seem like she was making it up. "We knew that it was bad from the fluctuating energy levels but..." She studied me for a moment and then shifted her weight awkwardly.

"Yeah, well..." I put my hand over Chibi-Chibi's forehead and smoothed some hair away from her face.

"Is that your daughter?" Koan asked curiously. "I didn't realize you had another child." Her brow furrowed and she looked confused. "Is that Small Lady? She doesn't like look like the Rabbit but I didn't think you had more than one."

"I didn't. I do now," I replied. It was a shock to remember that Koan, Berthier, Calaveras and Petz knew everything about Chibi-Usa and Crystal Tokyo. That's where they were from, after all, even if they were living in the past. I wondered if they realized that if they'd still been in the future, they would have been destroyed as well. "This is Chibi-Chibi. Chibi-Usa... Small Lady... I don't really have... She won't… my future husband passed away before the battle began. His starseed was stolen and he's not coming back. Without him I can't have her."

"Oh." Understanding dawned in Koan's eyes, followed quickly by sympathy. Out of all the enemies we had faced, they knew of my love for my daughter more than anyone. I'd protected Chibi-Usa from them countless times. She said, "I'm sorry" and I could tell that she meant it.

My throat felt tight. "Thanks."

"What will you do now?" Petz asked, glancing over her shoulder. She was half-facing away from us, looking out at the crowd.

"I don't know. Crystal Tokyo probably won't happen," I said, and saying it out loud was hard. It was harder still to face the looks on their faces when they realized that their time in Crystal Tokyo as law abiding citizens had been torn away from them before it even began. "My husband was the ruler of Earth. Chibi-Usa would have been his heir." I looked at the ground, realizing that I'd never really stopped to think about this. Who owned the throne of Earth now? Me? "And I don't know if I could do it without the senshi. I always depended on their power to help strengthen the ginzuishou."

"Hmm, how unfortunate," she murmured.

"Look." Calaveras stepped closer to me. "There's a reason we sought you out."

"What's that?" I looked at her curiously.

"Can't tell you here. It's too open, and if we tried to take you somewhere to talk I think that cute musician up on stage would hit me over the head with his guitar," said Koan, looking far more amused than she had the right to. I glanced past her, towards the stage. Seiya was openly watching us while she sang, her eyes narrowed, and I could tell that she was trying to assess the situation and see whether or not she needed to intervene. Taiki and Yaten were being much more subtle but I had no doubt that their attention was on us too.

"We could meet up," I offered. "Somewhere else."

"As soon as possible," Berthier said, holding a piece of folded paper out to me. "This could mean your life and hers."

My grip tightened on Chibi-Chibi as I took the note. Some small part of me didn't want to know what they had to say, but there would be no burying my head in the sand, not this time. "I'll be there."

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For those who grew up with the dubbed, like me:  
Koan = Catsy  
Berthier = Birdy  
Calaveras = Avery  
Petz = Prisma

Please review!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Thanks for all of the reviews! I love that you guys like it so much. Enjoy!

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Somehow I never stopped to think about the fact that other people I knew would be at the memorial service, too. I saw a lot of my old friends from school. Some of them smiled and waved at me. Others just looked at me like they had no idea who I was. And then, while I was circling around the wall looking for the names of the senshi, I spotted them. Naru was there with Umino. She was staring silently at the wall when she suddenly looked up and caught my eye. I smiled weakly at her and she tilted her head in response. She pushed her way through the crowd until she was standing beside me. We didn't say anything at first, but then she reached out and hugged me. By the time she pulled away Umino had reached us.

"Naru-chan, Umino, it's good to see you," I said. It was, even though I could have wished for better conditions. I'd lost track of Naru after she and I had gone to different high schools. Being a senshi had consumed my life, pushing everything else to the wayside. She'd been my best friend for years but now I felt like I didn't even know her. She was a stranger to me even though it had only been a few months since I'd last seen her.

"It's good to see you too, Usagi-chan. I almost didn't recognize you," Naru said, smiling. She looked tired and there were dark circles underneath her eyes. She'd been crying, I realized, and my heart went out to her. "You look so cute in that dress."

"Thanks," I said shyly, ducking my head a little. I wasn't wearing my hair in odango. Yaten had braided it for me again. I could see from the looks on their faces that they wanted to ask why, but both of them were too polite for that and I was grateful. "I'm glad that you're, well…" I cleared my throat, feeling awkward, and concluded with, "that you're both here." I hadn't given them a moment's thought before but suddenly I realized it was the truth. It was good to see that they had survived, that at least I wouldn't have to mourn them.

"You too. Though of course I knew you would." Naru leaned against Umino. "My mother's shop was destroyed but she survived. How did your family make out?"

"Everyone accounted for," I told her, knowing she meant Mom and Dad and Shingo, not my friends. "I think they're around somewhere. I came with some of my friends." I turned instinctively towards the stage and caught Yaten's eye just as the song changed to one that was slower, more fitting for the day. She gave me a little nod and I read the warning in her face: _stay where we can see you_.

"You know the _Three Lights_?" Naru looked impressed. "I heard they'd gone to your school! I was so jealous when I found out. I really wanted the chance to meet them, too."

I laughed. "No you wouldn't have." I could remember their disdain for fans all too easily. Naru would've been just another annoyance, but I had the feeling that they might be a little more receptive now. "You should come by sometime. Both of you." I included Umino in my gaze and he raised his eyebrows. "No, I mean it."

"That's awfully sweet of you, but I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be inviting people over on their behalf," Umino said. I was surprised to hear him speak. His voice had gotten much deeper. It suited him. I looked at him a little closer and realized that he wasn't wearing those awful thick glasses anymore. Now he wore contacts and I could see the lines of his face. He was… almost handsome.

"You'd be surprised," I replied at last. "Here, give me your cell phone, Naru-chan." She handed it over and I put my new number into it. I didn't know why I was so desperate to make sure that they didn't just walk away but I felt like I needed to be around them for a while. Maybe it was just easier remembering a time when I hadn't lost nearly everything I had to live for.

"And who's this cutie?" Naru asked, taking her phone back and leaning over. Chibi-Chibi blinked up at her with wide blue eyes and Naru smiled, chucking her gently under the chin. "Usagi-chan, is this your sister? I didn't know your mother was pregnant."

"She wasn't," I said without thinking. My heart was pounding but I hoped it didn't show. I hadn't really put much more thought into how I would explain Chibi-Chibi's presence. Children just didn't appear out of thin air – or at least, they didn't in the worlds of normal people. If too much attention was brought to her she could be taken away from me. Yet it wasn't like I could just hypnotise everyone into thinking she was my child. I was only sixteen and Chibi-Chibi was at least four years old, possibly five. No one would believe that I'd had a child when I was only eleven years old. Naru was looking at me curiously and, in desperation, I said, "She's Mamo-chan's niece. Her parents died and she came to stay with him. Now that he's gone I'm looking after her."

"Oh, Usagi-chan." Naru's face changed, filling with sympathy, and she reached out and took Umino's hand. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know that Chiba-san was..."

I blinked at her and then it dawned on me that I'd just blurted out that Mamo-chan had died in the attack. "Oh, well, yeah," I said, glancing away uncomfortably. It wasn't the best story in the world. Chibi-Chibi and I looked quite a bit alike, after all. But I hoped that the mention of Mamoru's death would keep them or anyone else from probing too deeply. In for a penny, in for a pound, so I took a deep breath and added, "Actually, Ami-chan, Rei-chan, Mako-chan and Minako-chan were, too."

"What?" She looked stricken. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" She reached out and hugged me again. Her arms were warm around me and I leaned into her a little. "You must be so upset."

I just nodded, unable to form the words. I'd been looking for their names but I hadn't found them yet. I knew they were here somewhere, just like I knew their families would also be around. Ami's mother, Rei's grandfather, and Minako's parents, plus Hotaru's father, the poor man. There wouldn't be anyone for Makoto, and I had no idea if Michiru and Haruka ever saw or spoke to their families. Tears blurred my eyes all over again. I'd known Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako pretty well, but there was so much I had yet to learn about Hotaru, Michiru, Haruka and Setsuna. I'd never have the chance to make up for the time we'd lost.

Naru looked a little panicked when I started crying. She took a step towards me and then hesitated like she didn't know what to do. I hadn't noticed that the music had stopped until I felt familiar hands resting on my shoulders. I turned and pressed myself against Seiya immediately, hiding my face in her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around me and Chibi-Chibi and looked over my head at Naru and Umino. "Hello," she said kindly. "You must be some of Usagi's friends."

"Yeah, from middle school," Umino said.

"I see. Well, thank you for coming, but I think Usagi could probably use a rest right now. She'd love to meet up with you later but it's been a very long day. I'm sure you understand." Seiya was using what I had come to think of as her pop-star "I'm annoyed with you but I can't be rude so I'll politely tell you to go away" voice. She was very good at it and it made me smile even while the tears were streaming down my face.

"I'll call you, Usagi-chan," Naru said quietly. I wanted to say good-bye to her but I couldn't stop crying and I didn't want to upset her anymore, so I just stood there without responding until Seiya stepped back and brought me with her and started guiding me through the crowd. I could tell that a lot of people were staring at us and it took effort to ignore them, especially when I heard a few of the comments they were making. Everyone wanted to know who I was and why Seiya was touching me so freely. Unbelievable. Even at a memorial service, that people could still act this way astounded me.

Seiya took me backstage and delivered me to Yaten and Taiki, literally. She took Chibi-Chibi and then gently pushed me straight into Yaten's arms. I put my face against her shoulder and just stood there and cried while Yaten rubbed my back. She didn't try to tell me I shouldn't or anything like that. Seiya and Taiki stayed close to us. Even when their manager came over, Taiki headed him off and talked to him at a distance. After a few minutes she came back with four bottles of water.

"Here," she said, taking my hand and wrapping it around one of the bottles. I put it to my lips and sipped it, grateful for the icy cold liquid. I felt hot and stupid, because even though this was a memorial service I hadn't been expecting to lose it like that.

"Do you want to stay?" Seiya asked me. I didn't know what to say, because the truth was I didn't even though I felt like I should. "You don't have to, Odango. I'm sure there are plenty of people who didn't bother to come here today at all. If you want to leave, we'll go."

"You don't have to sing anymore?" I said.

"No. Yaten and Taiki can cover for me," she replied. Then she paused and I experienced the odd sensation of having all three of them staring at me, trying to figure out what I was thinking without coming right out and asking. "If you're okay with that, I mean. If you want all three of us to go that's fine too."

"We don't mind," Yaten added.

"It's okay," I lied. Truthfully, I hated the thought of having them out of my sight but I knew they'd be safe here. There would be thousands of witnesses after all. And Seiya would be with me, and there was somewhere I wanted to go with her. I reached into my pocket and felt around until my fingers came into contact with cold metal. I pulled out a thin silver key - the key to Mamo-chan's apartment. He'd given it to me after we'd beaten the Black Moon Family. It was his way of apologizing to me for breaking my heart. I looked from it to Seiya. "Would you go somewhere with me?"

"Anywhere," Seiya said without skipping a beat.

She didn't ask me where and I loved her so much at that moment that I could have cried again. Instead I just smiled. I wanted to know if what had happened between me and Mamo-chan was a dream and this would be an excellent way of finding out. He'd told me about a box hidden in the back of his closet and if it was really there I would know his spirit had visited me. I'd been putting it off until now but I knew that I couldn't, not any longer. I needed to know. I reached out and took Seiya's arm, tweaked Chibi-Chibi on the nose, and said good-bye to Yaten and Taiki. Then the three of us walked out the door together.

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Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I swear things will become a bit more cheerful eventually. Enjoy!

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Seiya didn't know where we were going. She had never been to Mamo-chan's apartment, after all, and I'd never bothered to tell her where it was. I could see the curiosity written all over her face as we walked into the building and I knew she was dying to ask me questions, but to her credit she stifled the urge and just followed me, Chibi-Chibi sitting up in her arms, looking around with bright, attentive eyes. It felt good to know that the two of them were there with me as I stood in front of the elevator and pushed the button for the right floor. I'd done this a thousand times before and I knew that this would be the last time.

We stepped inside and the elevator carried us up. The doors swished open and I got out first, leading the way down to the right door. I put my key into the lock and it opened easily. A familiar sight was revealed to me: Mamo-chan had always kept his apartment neat. Out of habit I took my shoes off and slipped my feet into the pink slippers he'd bought especially for me. I spotted a child's pair of white slippers beside the dark blue ones Mamo-chan used to wear and it took everything I had to not start crying again at the sight. I looked away and found myself gazing at Seiya, who was staring down at the slippers too. I saw the look on her face and knew she'd figured out where we were.

"I'm sorry," I said roughly, brushing at my cheeks even though I hadn't let any tears escape. "I know this is probably the last place you want to be, but I had to come. I just... I needed to be here one last time. There's something that I need to get."

"It's fine, Odango. Take as long as you need," Seiya replied, her blue eyes warm and gentle.

I attempted a smile and walked into the living room. It had never seemed especially large but with Mamo-chan gone, I felt its emptiness. I wondered who would move in here now, into this place where I had imagined living with Mamo-chan after our wedding. There had been a couple of times when we were curled up on the couch together when I'd pictured raising Chibi-Usa here. We could've turned the guest bedroom into a nursery. I'd planned out the colors – pink for the walls, of course, with white furniture – and where we would put everything. Her crib would've been under the window so she'd have the morning sun to wake her up.

"It's just hard to believe how fast your plans can change," I said, hardly aware that I was going to speak until I did. I knew that Seiya would understand perfectly. She, Yaten and Taiki would've had tons of plans with Princess Kakyuu and all of those had been just as derailed as mine had. "I mean, I stand here and I keep expecting him to walk in that door with a bouquet of red roses and tell me that it was all a lie, that Galaxia didn't steal his starseed. I'd almost prefer that he had broken up with me and that he was in America living with another girl all this time over this."

"He wouldn't have done that to you," Seiya said gently, sitting down on the couch and placing Chibi-Chibi on her knee. "I didn't know him but now I know that he loved you." She hesitated a little. "I'm sorry I tried to break your confidence, Odango. I didn't realize… I thought that you were clinging to something that was never going to happen."

"Technically you were right," I replied.

She looked at me sadly. "But not for the reasons that I thought I would be."

I had to give her that. I turned and left the two of them in the living room, padding down the hall to Mamo-chan's room. It was still primarily a man's room, but here and there I could see a few touches from me and Chibi-Usa. He used to keep a picture of the three of us on his nightstand, but I noticed that it was gone. He must have taken it to America with him. I entered the room and walked over to the bed, seating myself on the edge of it gingerly. For a long moment I just looked around. Everything had a light layer of dust on it. Technically it had been months since anyone had come here. Mamo-chan had decided to rent it out to someone while he was gone, but I supposed that since he never responded to the people who were interested, no one had ever moved in.

It was hard sitting there. I'd only been in his bedroom once or twice and never by myself. It felt wrong, strange, to stand up and walk over to his closet. I felt like I was invading his privacy when I pulled the doors open. There wasn't much clothing left behind. He'd taken most of it to America with him. What were left were his summer clothes and things he didn't wear anymore, the stuff that was either too small or too out of fashion, like that atrocious green jacket he used to love so much. I touched the jacket lightly and then looked down towards the bottom of his closet. He had shoes and a couple of bags down there. I pushed them aside and felt towards the back. At first I didn't feel anything, but then my fingers brushed against the sharp edge of something and my heart flipped over.

The box I was holding was actually something like a little chest. It had a rounded top and was made from smooth, carved wood that was a deep reddish color. Someone had gone to a lot trouble to make this, I could tell. I put my hand on the lid and pushed it up. The first thing I saw, lying right on top of everything else, was a large red rose. My eyes filled with tears as I picked it up, careful not to prick my finger on one of the thorns. It was one of the few magical gifts Mamo-chan had possessed: he could make his roses live forever or fade away instantly, which is what he generally did immediately following a battle. I still had a handful kept in a safe place at home. I wondered if they would wither and die now that he was gone.

I pressed the petals to my cheek, inhaling the sweet fading fragrance, before I looked down at what else was inside the box. It was a sheaf of papers and, right on top, a ring box. My stomach turned over as I picked up the box. I thought I knew what might be inside and if I was right I couldn't bear it, not yet. I turned my attention to the papers and started flipping through them, wondering what could have been so important that Mamo-chan would keep them in a locked box at the back of his closet. I quickly found out.

It was his will.

And he'd left everything to me.

I felt dizzy. My hands were shaking. I guessed I should have been expecting it but somehow I wasn't. If I was reading it correctly, Mamo-chan had made sure that if anything ever happened to him I would be well taken care of. He'd listed everything he owned, including what he had in the bank, and I have to say it was a sizeable sum, enough for me and Chibi-Chibi to live comfortably on for more than a few years if we were careful. I couldn't read any further than that. Most of the language was very technical and I knew that I was missing important stuff. I put the papers back into the box and sat there for a moment, steeling myself, before I reached out and opened the ring box.

My finger had felt strangely empty ever since I'd woken up without my promise ring. Here was something to replace it, if I wanted. The ring was very simple and had obviously been custom-made. The band was fashioned from rose gold and had a ruby and a diamond on top. Both gems had been carved into the shape of half a heart and then placed so that together they formed a whole heart. Tears blurred my eyes again and this time I couldn't force them back. They started running down my face and dripping onto the ring. It was so beautiful. If Mamo-chan had shown this to me I would've said yes in a heartbeat. I couldn't believe he'd had it made for me and that he'd been keeping hold of it all this time. How long had he had this?

The sound of my sobs must have reached the living room, because I heard footsteps coming down the hall. My heart jumped into my throat but it was Seiya. When she saw me she sighed and came into the room, walking over to kneel next to me. I didn't say a word, just handed her the box. I watched the understanding dawn on her face, followed by something I couldn't identify. Grief, maybe. Without speaking she shifted until she was sitting beside me and then she reached out and slipped an arm around my shoulders, rocking me back and forth gently while I cried.

"I just can't believe he's really gone," I whimpered.

"He's not gone, Odango. As long as you love him he'll always be with you," Seiya replied, kissing me on the forehead. "All of your senshi will. And you'll see him again, you know that. He'll be reborn just like everyone else."

"I know," I whispered. I didn't have to say, because I knew that Seiya was thinking the same thing, that it wouldn't be the same. Mamo-chan would be a different person when he was reborn. I wasn't the exact same person that Princess Serenity had been even though we looked alike. She was a much colder girl than I could ever be. He'd be a stranger to me and though we could grow to be friends I knew I would never love him the way I'd loved Mamo-chan. My heart couldn't take that kind of pain.

We sat there for a long time until Seiya's phone beeped. She jumped in surprise and I smiled as she grabbed her phone and checked the screen. "It's from Yaten. They're leaving the memorial service and heading home," she told me.

"It's that late?" I looked around in surprise, realizing that it was. Somehow the afternoon had passed without my notice. Suddenly I wanted to leave. I wanted to go home with Seiya and change out of this dress and shower, and then I wanted to curl up on the couch with the four people left in the world that mattered the most to me. "Take me home, Seiya."

Seiya smiled at me. She stood up and then reached down, taking my hand in hers. "Come on, Odango."

We walked down the hall together. I was carrying the chest in my arms. I knew Mamo-chan wanted me to have it. I guess I should have been thinking a little more carefully about Chibi-Chibi and where she was, but my mind was too preoccupied. We soon found out, however, when we moved out into the living room and saw all of the cupboard doors in the kitchen were wide open. Chibi-Chibi was sitting on the floor and she had a box of chocolate cookies in her hands. There was chocolate _everywhere_. All over her face, in her hair, on her clothes. About the only clean space was the floor around her, which had miraculously escaped any trace of chocolate, like it had all gravitated towards her instead.

"Chibi-Chibi!" I groaned loudly as Seiya burst out laughing beside me. In spite of myself, I had to laugh too as Seiya gingerly picked her up. Maybe things weren't so bad after all.

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Please review!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** A big surprise (I hope) is at the end of this chapter… enjoy!

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School. I'd been dreading it to be honest. Just the thought of going back to where I'd spent so much time with Minako, Ami and Makoto made my stomach hurt. I didn't like the thought of not being able to take Chibi-Chibi with me, either. Seiya had gotten into contact with someone she knew from the business and a baby-sitter had shown up at the apartment that morning. She seemed to be perfectly nice but I made a mental note to find an alternate means of care for Chibi-Chibi as soon as possible, even if I had to find some way to hypnotize my family into doing it. I left the apartment reluctantly and joined Seiya, Yaten and Taiki in the limo for the drive. Taiki was the only one who seemed pleased to be going back.

"I hate this. Why do we have to go again?" Yaten grumbled. She was mad because they still had to pretend to be guys, although I think part of it was because it was so early. The three of them had slept with me again last night and I'd had a hard time falling asleep. I'd tossed and turned a lot before pure exhaustion dragged me under and I'd probably kept them up too.

"You know we have to keep up appearances, Yaten," Taiki said without even looking up from her book. "People thought we would be gone by now but we're not and after we sang at the service everyone knows it. We'll get into trouble if we don't keep acting like average high school boys. Besides, did you really want to send Usagi-chan to school all by herself?" She looked at Yaten expectantly.

Yaten sulked but she didn't say anything else; there was nothing she could do to argue against that and Taiki knew it. I reached across and put my hand on top of hers. I hoped she knew how much it meant to me that she'd chosen to come back. I knew that she could have stayed home. The chances of anyone actually noticing in light of everything that had happened was probably slim to none. She'd come because she knew I wouldn't be comfortable being at school without having all of them around me and I appreciated their indulgence more than she could know. She looked at me and then sighed, twisting her wrist so that I was holding her hand. We stayed the way until the limo pulled up outside of the school.

Seiya got out first and then me, followed by Yaten and Taiki. There were a lot of kids staring at us but no one seemed to be brave enough to approach. I noticed immediately that there were a lot fewer kids around than normal but I tried not to think about it as I followed Seiya across the courtyard towards the entrance. We went straight inside and up to our old classroom. I wondered if there would still be assigned seating or if that wouldn't matter anymore. I sat down in my seat and Seiya sat down next to me like she'd always been there. Yaten and Taiki took the seats right behind us. I felt protected on all sides.

Gradually the rest of the class started filtering in. The room was only about half full by the time the bell rang and our teacher came in. He looked around at us sadly. "You can see that our class has been hit by the disaster," he said. "In light of what's happened I think it's best if we just move on. We'll be having a week of revision to refresh our minds and then we'll continue with the curriculum. Please let me know if you feel the pace is moving too quickly or if you are unable to keep up for… for whatever reason."

He turned back to face the chalkboard and started writing. I stared at the board but I didn't even see what he was marking down. We'd been in the middle of exam preparation before and I wondered if they would be canceled this year. I honestly couldn't see myself passing if they weren't. I couldn't remember a single thing that we'd been working on and school suddenly seemed so insignificant when it came to what had just happened. I'd wanted to do good in school before because I thought it might be important for the queen of Crystal Tokyo, but now what would my future be? That wide open space might be comforting to some people but it was utterly petrifying to me. I knew, though, that getting good grades would be even more important now than before. I didn't have a future as a ruler to fall back on. This would be me, getting through life as best I could.

I clenched my hands into fists and tried to focus. I knew that Ami and the others would've wanted me to do well. They had always encouraged me to do my best, even if that meant I wasn't all that successful. I took out a pencil and started copying down the notes. None of them made any sense but I was hoping that Taiki would be able to explain them to me later. I had about half a page filled when I heard a crashing sound coming from behind me. I jumped and turned, my hand instinctively going for my locket, but the source of the crash was Yaten. She had stood up so abruptly that her chair had fallen over. I stared up at her, wondering what was wrong.

"Kou-san?" The teacher had turned around and was watching her as well. "Do you – "

Before he could finish his sentence Yaten had pushed away from the desk and passed by me as she rushed out of the room. I was alarmed to see that her eyes were filled with tears. I jumped to my feet and ran after her without even asking for permission. She was fast, I'll say that much. I had to struggle to keep the sight of her silver ponytail in view as she dashed through the halls. It finally dawned on me that she was heading for the gym. I couldn't imagine why she would be going there, of all places. It was well known by everyone that Yaten hated getting sweaty. I was panting for breath by the time I got there. She was standing in the middle of the room, looking at something. I didn't understand until I realized what: the volleyball nets. My heart squeezed so tightly that it hurt.

"Yaten," I said softly, taking a cautious step towards her. I wasn't sure if my presence would be welcomed or not.

"It's so useless," Yaten said, unknowingly echoing the words that had been passing through my mind minutes before. "What's the point? Don't those idiots know that the world will never be the same? All of those starseeds…" She spread her hands. "Some of them will just disappear. Not all of them will be reborn."

I hadn't thought about that, about the rest of them. The senshi had been preoccupying my mind. "I don't know," I said softly. "I guess that everyone just has the same thing in mind. The people who died wouldn't want our lives to stop just because they're gone, regardless of whether they'll be reborn or not." I smiled painfully. "You know, if it hadn't been for you guys and Chibi-Chibi I probably would've curled up into a ball and starved to death and my friends would've hated that. So you… you pick yourself up and try to keep going and hope that eventually it doesn't hurt as much." I licked my lips nervously. "Like you guys did after your planet was destroyed."

"But we had a _goal_." Yaten sounded miserable. "Princess Kakyuu would have been able to fix all of it. What's the point of all this meaningless wandering? Or of school where they don't teach you anything useful?" She turned a harsh look towards me. "How is knowing what X means going to help us?"

I had to laugh. Yaten's eyes widened and she stared at me. Before she could get angry or think that I was poking fun at her, I shook my head and said, "Teenagers have been wondering that for ages, Yaten. And they probably always will. Look, I know you guys have been through a lot." That was an understatement. I understood now that Yaten had never really grieved for her planet. None of them had. They'd pinned all their hopes and dreams on Princess Kakyuu, pushing away the pain until reality had crashed in and forced them to face up to it. I took a step closer to her. "Life on Earth is very different from Kinmoku. You'll have to adjust to how we live. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. But… I'm happy you're here with me."

Yaten sighed. "I just wish we could go home," she said in a small voice, staring at the nets. "Sometimes, right before we found the princess, I used to imagine what it would be like if we stayed. I didn't think it would be… like this. I thought…" Her voice trailed off.

"You thought you would be with Minako," I said softly in a burst of inspiration and she flinched, which told me that my suspicions were correct. "Yaten, I'm sorry. I know Minako loved you. She would have been thrilled to have had the chance to be with you for even a few seconds. I wish…" I closed my eyes and shook my head, knowing that it was useless. This was a wish that would never come true.

"Do you think they'll remember us after they're re-born?" Yaten asked.

I took another few steps closer and it brought me within distance of her. I reached out and took her hand. "I don't know. Maybe." I wondered if something would happen between them then, if Yaten's heart would be open enough to accept love from someone who wasn't but had been Minako. If so she was a better person than me. "I hope so, eventually. We'll have to wait and see."

"I hate waiting," she muttered and I giggled, squeezing her hand.

"I don't like it either but in this case we haven't got a choice," I said. "I hope that somehow you can be happy on Earth, Yaten. I know this isn't what you were expecting but…"

"But this is our life now," she finished bitterly, sighing. She started to say something else but I didn't get the chance to hear it. Someone screamed and then several more people joined in until that was all I could hear. For a moment, I was annoyed. I'd finally had the opportunity to get Yaten to start opening up to me only to be interrupted, and it was frustrating because I didn't know if she would ever be willing to talk to me again. I shook it off, though, and ran to the door of the gym to see what was going on.

There were some students outside having a gym class. Now, I saw, they were in the middle of running for their lives. Small black balls that turned crimson and exploded on impact were flying in every direction, like little meteors. They were falling down from the sky. Three of them hit the ground near me and I felt myself falling to the ground. It was a familiar experience but I couldn't remember why; there was too much going on. I could hear someone shouting my name and for a split second I thought it was Chibi-Usa, her voice small and frightened as she begged me to protect her.

I looked up. "Yaten, get down!" I shouted, grabbing her hand and pulling her to her knees. Just in time, as a handful of the balls flew over her head and struck the side of the gym. The resulting explosion sent debris flying in our direction and I instinctively shielded my face.

"What's going on?" Yaten yelled.

"I think it's…" I didn't have to finish my sentence. My suspicions were confirmed when I heard loud, familiar laughter, and a second later Crimson Rubeus phased into the air above us.

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Please review!


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** For all those who wondered, Crimson Rubeus (known simply as Rubeus in the NA dub) was one of the first enemies that the senshi faced from the Black Moon family. He used the Ayakashi Sisters (a.k.a. the Four Sisters) as pawns. When they were healed by Sailor Moon, he kidnapped Venus, Mercury, Mars and Jupiter as a last ditch effort to get Chibi-Usa and the ginzuishou. Sailor Moon and Chibi-Usa worked together to defeat him and, as far as we knew, Rubeus died on his ship when it exploded. There, a little history lesson. Enjoy!

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The first thing that I noticed was that Rubeus looked exactly the same as he had the last time we had fought. His hair rose in wild tufts above his head, flame red and flashing in the bright light. The black crescent moon still adorned his forehead and he was even still wearing the black crystal earrings with the same open leather vest and tight green pants. He had his arms folded and there was a broad smirk on his face as he looked down at us. My body tensed in automatic reaction and I reached for my broach.

"What are you doing here, Rubeus?" I said in a low voice, knowing that he would be able to hear me anyway. "I thought we destroyed you." It had taken me a long time to forget the sound of his screams as the six of us teleported off of his ship and left him behind. Even knowing that he gladly would have killed us if given the chance hadn't completely assuaged my guilt.

"That's the problem with just _thinking_ that you've done something," Rubeus replied, his smirk growing wider. He had always enjoyed taunting us with his power and I could tell that hadn't changed. "Even Esmeraude thought that I was dead, the stupid bitch, but at the last moment I was able to escape the ship. It took me a long time to recover from the damage you and your little brat did. I've been waiting for the opportunity to take my time in destroying you for a while. It's a pity that I won't have the chance to kill the rabbit as well, but I suppose I'll settle for being able to make sure she never exists." He lifted his hands over his head in a familiar maneuver and more of the little black balls began to form, glowing with dark power.

Instinct propelled me. I turned to Yaten and pushed her hard, shoving her out of the way before she could react. The balls struck the ground inches away from us, exactly where I had been sitting seconds before, and the grass exploded, throwing us both into the air. I landed hard on my side, scraping the skin off of my arm, and gave a hollow gasp of pain as I rolled over onto my back. At least this time I didn't have to worry about trying to protect Chibi-Usa. I flinched as Rubeus loomed above me, his eyes wild, and reached out for my throat. Our gazes locked and I could only stare at him, speechless.

"_Star Serious Laser_!"

For a moment I'd been caught in the past and hearing Sailor Star Fighter's attack was so jarring that I didn't react even as Rubeus was blasted off of his feet. I turned my head, watching as he landed several feet away with a loud grunt. A moment later Sailor Star Fighter and Sailor Star Maker were standing over us. My instinct was to grab my locket and transform as well, but at the last second I remembered where we were. There was no telling who might be watching this; it was bad enough they'd already heard what Rubeus and I had said without giving an actual demonstration.

"Are you alright?" Maker asked, turning her head to look at me.

"Yes, I… I'm fine," I said. I had a new desire to beat Rubeus senseless but other than that I was good. I looked around for Yaten and saw that she was sitting up too, but she looked dazed and there was blood running down her cheek from a gash over her left eye. I scrambled over to her on hands and knees and tore the hem of my skirt, balling the fabric up and pressing it gently to her head.

"You…" Rubeus was dragging himself to his feet. He straightened up and glared past Fighter and Maker. "You think they can protect you, your highness?" He spoke the title mockingly. "Crystal Tokyo won't be happening but I'll make sure that you don't get the opportunity to create anything like it. Your blood will stain my hands and nothing your guardians can do will stop it."

Fighter made a move to attack him again but Rubeus vanished, like a candle flame going out in the wind. "Damn it," she cursed softly, rocking back on her heels. I knew she was frustrated but in all honesty I'd been expecting it. Rubeus had always been like that, running away whenever there was a chance he might be outnumbered. If he hadn't kidnapped the senshi and brought us to him the first time around we might never have pinned him down long enough to beat him. And it looked like we hadn't even done that.

Maker said, "We need to get out of here."

"You guys go," I said under my breath. People would forgive what I'd said and done during the fight because of the circumstances, but they would be much less inclined to forget anything a senshi did. "I'll stay with Yaten and you can find us once you have the chance to… you know."

It seemed like Fighter was going to protest but Maker took her arm and physically yanked her away. The second they were gone it was like a floodgate opened. I suddenly found myself surrounded by teachers, all of them trying to see if we were alright. Above the sound of their voices I heard sirens, and a few minutes later an ambulance arrived, followed by paramedics. They bundled Yaten into the truck and at their insistence I went too, even though I was pretty sure I wasn't wounded seriously. I was more worried about Yaten.

At the hospital they cleaned up my arm, washing out the grit that had been embedded in the scrape and placing a soft bandage over it. They did all sorts of tests - every time I tried to protest that a test wasn't necessary I was told it was 'standard' - and gave me something mild for the pain before I was left alone. I sat on the exam table, frustrated at not being able to see how Yaten was doing. She had to be frightened. I didn't think she'd ever been to the hospital before, much less been a patient in one, and I suspected that the hospitals here were very different from the ones on Kinmoku. I hoped that Taiki and Seiya had been able to follow us.

After a while the painkillers kicked in and I felt better as my muscles and bruises stopped aching so badly. I hopped off of the exam and table and wandered around, looking at the posters that were taped up on the walls. I was still wearing my uniform but it would need to be thrown out; it was ripped in a few different places. I didn't have many changes of clothes with me, either. Taiki had shown up in my room this morning with this uniform and I still didn't know where she'd gotten it from. Up until now, with the exception of the black dress I'd worn for the memorial service, I'd mostly been wearing their clothing. I had to admit that a part of me liked that, but I knew I wouldn't be able to do that forever. It would mean another visit to my house, and while my parents would probably be glad to see I was still alive I dreaded the inevitable questions about whether or not I was ready to come home yet.

Another fifteen minutes went by and I was just about ready to go out of my mind with boredom when my phone rang. I didn't think you were supposed to have them on in the hospital but I hadn't wanted to turn it off in case Seiya or Taiki tried to call me. When I checked the screen, though, it was an unfamiliar number and I frowned as I put it up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Usagi-san?"

The voice was immediately familiar. I straightened up a little. "Koan!"

"Yes, it's me. We were watching the news when we heard about what happened at your school. Usagi-san, I don't think I have to tell you who was behind that."

"No, you don't, because I saw him in person," I said. It made sense now why the sisters had approached me in the first place. I wondered how they had known that Rubeus was alive. I couldn't imagine that he would've gone to them for help after how he'd treated them. "It was not an experience that I would care to repeat any time in the near future, Koan. What is he doing here?"

"He survived the explosion," Koan replied, which I already knew. "We felt his presence in the city a handful of days ago but we weren't sure how to get into contact with you. I went to the shrine but… Well, it was closed and there didn't seem to be anyone around, not even that boy who seemed to like Rei so much. That's why we went to the memorial service. I'm sorry that we weren't able to warn you earlier."

"Yeah, it could've saved you a lot of trouble." The voice ringing in my ear now belonged to Calaveras. I could hear Koan in the background, shouting at her sister for having taken the phone away, but Calaveras ignored her. "Look, you've got to stop him. Rubeus has always hated you and this planet. He wanted to destroy it and he just never told Prince Dimande the truth about it. If you don't do something to stop him, he'll succeed where everyone else has failed."

A cold chill went down my spine and for a moment I didn't say anything just because I couldn't think of how to respond to concern. I knew she was right. I'd always thought to myself that Rubeus had been one of the worst members of the Black Moon Family. He had none of the appreciation for Earth that Dimande and Safir had showed. He really would destroy everything. "I don't suppose you have any tips for _how _I'm supposed to do that?" I asked weakly. I was a lot stronger than I'd been the last time we fought the Black Moon, true, but I wasn't the only one who had increased significantly in power.

"You're the only one who can do it, we can tell you that much." Now it was Berthier speaking in my ear. "I remember that he used to talk about how much he hated you but really I think it's because you, well, Neo-Queen Serenity frightened him. You have access to power that he doesn't understand and can't touch and it drives him crazy." She actually sounded pretty pleased about that. "He won't target the rest of the city, just you."

"We can't offer you any more help than that." Petz's voice was distinctly cool and now I could hear both Berthier and Koan complaining. "I don't want my sisters getting caught up in this. We don't have any way of protecting ourselves now that we're normal humans. You know that he's here so as far as I'm concerned our job is done." And with that she hung up. I brought the phone away from my ear just as the curtain was pushed back and the doctor walked in. He looked up too quickly for me to hide the phone and his eyes went wide.

"Oi, you can't have those in here!" he said indignantly. "We have sensitive equipment around here. Turn it off!"

"Sorry," I said, my cheeks flushing as I hastily obeyed. I shoved the phone back into my pocket and hoped that Yaten and Seiya wouldn't call until I was out of here. "Can I go now?"

"Well, yes, you don't appear to have any serious injuries and your tests have come back with good results." He glanced down at his clipboard before looking back up at me. "There's just one thing that I have to ask you about based off your answers to the questions that you were asked earlier. Tsukino-san, are you aware that you're pregnant?"

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**Note:** Saphir was called Sapphire in the dub, and Prince Dimande was known as Prince Diamond.

Please review!


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** I guess no one saw that coming. Glad to see I can still surprise people once in a while! For the couple of people who wondered, yes the baby is Mamoru's. More explanation will come later. For now, enjoy!

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By the time that Seiya found me, she was more than a little frantic. I was sitting in one of the waiting rooms of the hospital. I didn't remember how I'd gotten there. I think I was in shock. I remembered one of the nurses coming by at some point and asking me if I was alright but I didn't even answer her. My mind just kept repeating my conversation with the doctor. It was so much, too much, and I was only just starting to wrap my head around the reality of it when a shadow fell over me and a hand came down on my shoulder. I tensed, my hand flying to my locket as my head snapped up, and to say that I was surprised to see Seiya standing over me was an understatement. She was breathing hard and her face was creased in worry.

"Here you are!" she exclaimed, squeezing my shoulder hard. "Odango, we've been searching the whole hospital for you."

I blinked at her slowly. "Oh. Oh, right, sorry," I said, suddenly remembering that I'd had to turn my phone off and that I'd never switched it back on. I looked around, suddenly realizing that I was in a waiting room filled with a lot of worried-looking men. My eyes fell on the sign on the door. Maternity. Oh_ god_. I stood up and blindly walked out. Seiya chased after me.

"Hey. _Hey_." She caught me by the arm and turned me around. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I replied, a beat too late for it to sound realistic. I couldn't share the truth with anyone yet. I had to take a while to think about it. Her. Oh my god. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, feeling dizzy. Some part of me knew - hoped - that it was Chibi-Usa. Even then there was nothing that I wouldn't have given for the chance to see my baby girl again.

Seiya was frowning and watching me closely. "Are you sure you're alright?" she asked, looking like she wanted to flag down the nearest doctor and demand that he look at me. I balked at the thought.

"They gave me some medication for the pain. I think it's making me a little loopy, that's all," I told her, deciding that a half-truth was probably better than a complete lie. The painkillers could have worn off by now for all I knew. I had no idea how long I had been sitting there in that room, lost in thought.

"Are you okay to go home?"

"Yes. God yes. Please get me out of here," I said desperately, clutching at her arm.

"Okay. Okay, shh, we're going." She slipped her arm around my shoulders and I gratefully cuddled against her and allowed her to lead the way out. She was talking and I tried to keep myself focused on what she was saying but I kept going back to that moment when my whole world had changed. Pregnant. There was only one possible way that it could be possible since I was technically still a virgin. Mamo-chan's visit in my dream must have been a lot more real than I'd realized. Had he known that this would happen? I wanted to think that he wouldn't have done this to me but I kept remembering him saying that he wanted to live on in my memory. And he would have known that losing Chibi-Usa would devastate me. I touched my belly again and took a deep breath.

_Pregnant_. Just the word made me feel a little bit sick. There were _so many_ implications to it. Naturally everyone would think that Mamo-chan was the father… or I hoped that they would. I'd have to make up a story about him having come visit after he left or else the timing wouldn't be right, and even then people were going to ask questions. My family would want to know why I hadn't bothered to tell them. Other people would wonder if I was telling the truth, period. I looked up at Seiya as she led me outside to the limo. I could only imagine the rumors that were going to result from this now that I'd been spending so much time in their presence. People wouldn't hesitate to think that Seiya, Yaten or Taiki was the father. I didn't want to do that to them.

How had everything gotten so complicated so quickly? I rubbed my forehead and glanced out the window. I had a few months before I started showing. The doctor had told me that I wasn't far along, about three weeks pregnant, which meant that I'd be able to keep this to myself for the time being. No one had to know until it was absolutely necessary; I could get to the doctor's office for pre-natal appointments myself. If we could just get rid of Rubeus then things wouldn't seem so bad. I could leave the Starlights before news got out and -

My thoughts stopped abruptly and I felt cold all over as I processed what had just gone through my mind. Leave the Starlights? The thought was abhorrent and I didn't even want to contemplate it. That would be the best route for all of us but... I was sick at the idea of being without them. They'd been keeping me going for the past month and I had come to depend on them completely. I tried, for just a moment, to imagine a life on my own, without Taiki's quiet warmth, Yaten's prickly shield, or Seiya's teasing and hugs, but I couldn't do it. They were my friends, my family, and I wanted to stay with them desperately. But did I want it enough to risk destroying their reputations with malicious gossip? There was no way I could let that happen, it wasn't fair.

"Odango!" Seiya's firm voice broke through my panicked haze. She was leaning across the seat and staring at me with narrowed eyes. "It's not just the drugs, is it? Something happened to you in there. You're not acting like yourself. What's wrong?"

"Seiya…" My voice broke and I felt dangerously close to tears. I closed my eyes in an effort to hold them at bay. I was being silly, I knew, letting the stress of the day get to me. I wouldn't have to think about any of this stuff for weeks yet. I should have been focusing on Rubeus and the threat he was posing, not consumed with something that, if we didn't stop him, might not even be happening. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Seiya said gently, and I was reminded all over again of how good they were to me. Far better then I deserved. "It's been a long day. Why don't we go home and get something to eat. You can have a shower and then we'll sit down and you can tell me if you want to. If you don't we'll just watch some TV, okay?"

That sounded so good. It was exactly what I needed. I nodded and when we reached the apartment she hustled me straight into the shower, not even giving me the chance to check on Yaten first. I bathed carefully, mindful of the bandage on my arm, and even managed to keep myself from staring into the mirror as I got out. I did make a quick check but of course there were no physical changes to reflect what had happened, not yet. My belly was flatter than it had been in months because I hadn't been eating very much lately.

I got dressed in a pair of Seiya's pajamas, rolling the cuffs up to keep from tripping on them, and then walked out. I checked on Chibi-Chibi and saw that she was in bed before I went into the living room. Yaten was resting on the couch and I rushed over to her. She was sleeping and there was a neat row of stitches across her forehead, standing out starkly against her bruised skin. Her face was pale and scratched and I could see more abrasions lining the flesh of her arms. But other than that, she looked no worse for the wear and I let out a sigh of relief. Thank god she was alright. I couldn't lose anyone else.

Taiki came up behind me and touched my shoulder to get my attention. I followed her into the kitchen. She and Seiya had ordered Chinese food. Even though I wasn't really hungry I sat down with them, mindful of the fact that I was now eating for two. Before the rush of panic could overwhelm me again I spooned a little rice onto my plate and occupied myself with eating. I could sense that Taiki and Seiya were both worried about me and I knew I'd have to push aside the news of my pregnancy to be dealt with later on, when I had a little more time to think about it. Rubeus was the important thing.

"We've fought him before, as I'm sure you guessed," I said, not waiting for them to ask. I took a deep breath. This was going to get complicated. I'd never explained Chibi-Usa or the Silver Millennium or Crystal Tokyo to them. There just hadn't been time. And to understand where the Black Moon Family came from I would have to go into detail. Well, I didn't _have_ to since they could fight without knowing the full story, but I felt I owed it to them to explain.

"Hang on. I think Yaten should hear this." Taiki stood up and went into the living room. She returned a few moments later with Yaten in tow. Yaten screwed her face up at the food and silently shook her head as she sank down into the seat beside Taiki. All three of them looked at me expectantly.

What could I do but begin? I told them everything in between the occasional bites of food. I started with the Silver Millennium and Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion and Beryl's determination to see us all dead. Taiki looked fascinated by the idea of us being reborn and I could tell she would have a lot of questions for me later. I didn't give her the chance to ask them now, just went straight on into explaining about the future. It was easiest skip the in-between, to relate the Silver Millennium to Crystal Tokyo, like Serenity and Endymion were two different people and this was just a fairy tale I was telling. But I caught Seiya watching me and the look on her face made me want to cry.

And when I started explaining about Chibi-Usa and how she had come back to the past to meet us, she folded. I watched it happen and it hurt. She stood up and walked out of the room mid-sentence, leaving silence behind her. I'd known that she wouldn't take this well. I wasn't as oblivious to Seiya's feelings for me as I would have had everyone believe. It was just easier, selfish though it was, to pretend I didn't understand so I wouldn't have to face it. In some ways I hadn't minded that they were leaving with Princess Kakyuu because it meant that I didn't need to worry about explaining Chibi-Usa and our future to her. I wished now that I'd told her right from the start, long before she ever started liking me.

"I'll be right back," I said to Yaten and Taiki. I stood up and followed Seiya. She was standing on her balcony, staring up at the night sky. I hovered in the doorway, uncertain if she would want me around. I didn't like thinking about a world where Seiya wasn't there for me. She'd been my biggest support, the reason I got up in the morning, and I couldn't bear the thought that I'd destroyed our friendship. I must have made some sound because she turned around and when she saw me she sighed. Before she could speak, I asked, "Do you want me to go? I will, if you want me to."

"I'll never not want to be around you, Odango," she replied and there was something sad in her voice that almost broke my heart. I kept it together through sheer force of will as I stepped forward and leaned against the balcony beside her.

I looked up at the sky, at the moon. "I'm sorry, Seiya."

"For what?" Seiya said. "It's not your fault that all this happened. I hardly think it was your choice that the two of you had that kind of future."

"No, that's true," I admitted. As scary as it was that the future I'd come to depend on was gone, it had often been frightening to think that everything was planned out for me. "But I'm still sorry anyway."

Seiya looked at me for a long time and then she gave me a small smile. "I am too," she said, and then she reached out and wrapped her arm around my shoulders to pull me close. I put my head on her shoulder and we watched the stars together.

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Please review!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** And_ finally_, after fourteen chapters, we get to start the Usagi/Seiya relationship. Enjoy!

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I didn't know how long we'd been standing there before I felt myself becoming sleepy, but it must have been at least a good hour. I yawned, thinking that it had been an extremely long day and that the thought of lying down was incredibly tempting, but I wasn't sure I had the strength to make it to the bed. Like she was hearing my thoughts, Seiya turned towards me a little more, accepting more of my weight, and then she bent down and slipped her arm beneath my knees, scooping me up. She cradled me easily, carrying me back inside the house. I let my head fall against her shoulder, relishing in the feeling of her caring about me. I never wanted this to stop.

She set me down on the bed and ran her hand over my hair. "You have no idea what you do to me," she said in a whisper.

I could have told her I was awake but I sensed that it wouldn't be a good idea, not when I was hoping she might say something else. I remained still, my breathing even and deep, and I was actually on the verge of giving in and falling asleep when I heard the door creak open. A moment later a light weight scrambled up on the bed and someone very familiar crawled over to me and climbed onto my stomach. I kept my eyes shut and tried to stop the smile from spreading across my face. I could feel Chibi-Chibi staring at me and then she poked me in the cheek. I started laughing and opened my eyes, looking up at her. Seiya was perched on the edge of the bed and watching us with a faint smile on her face.

"I thought you went to bed hours ago," I said, lightly tapping her on the nose. She'd been asleep when I checked and I hoped I hadn't woken her up. I knew from experience that trying to get Chibi-Chibi to fall asleep once she was awake was a nightmare.

"She missed you." Taiki entered the room, her arm around Yaten, who didn't look too steady on her feet. She helped Yaten to sit on the edge of the bed and then pushed her shoulders back so she was lying down. Yaten sighed and rolled over onto her side, her face tilted towards me. Her green eyes were sleepy and I smiled at her, reaching out my free hand and taking hers. I was so glad she was okay.

"Are you going to finish the story?" she asked tiredly.

"Um..." I blinked at her, surprised. "Well..."

"Do it," said Seiya, curling her legs up against her chest and looking at me expectantly. "You had just gotten to the point where Chibi-Usa came back to visit you guys in the past."

"Oh yeah. Well, as you can imagine the Black Moon Family followed her back here. They weren't going to give up that easily and they'd done everything they could to Crystal Tokyo," I told them. "One of the first enemies we faced was Rubeus and the Ayakashi Sisters. He'd brained washed them into believing that he loved them." Even now thinking about the lies Rubeus had told them made me mad. "I was able to heal them with the power of the ginzuishou. They're regular people now, living on Earth."

"Are they the women from the memorial service?" Taiki asked.

"Yes, that was them. Rubeus was very angry when he realized what I had done and he stepped up his efforts. He tried to kidnap Chibi-Usa but the senshi got in the way and he took them instead. He wanted to do an exchange, Chibi-Usa and the ginzuishou for them. There was no way that was happening. I tried to offer myself instead. It was just supposed to be me, but..." I smiled a little. Chibi-Usa was just as stubborn as I was and she had never hesitated in letting me know that. The two of us were so like that we butted heads almost constantly, but it only made me love her that much more. Unconsciously I caressed my stomach and went on, "I was able to distract him while Chibi-Usa destroyed his power source. The six of us escaped and we presumed that Rubeus had died on his ship." I frowned and bit my lip.

"Obviously that didn't go as planned," Seiya said wryly. "How strong is he, Odango? You said his power source was destroyed?"

"It was but that was over a year ago," I pointed out. "He said it himself, he's had all this time to hide away and get even stronger. I don't know what he's been doing but he definitely seemed more powerful today than he did the last time we faced him." I didn't think I needed to add that Rubeus had also been just as angry. He would happily kill me and if he found out I was pregnant he'd be even more determined. That was just one more reason for me to keep this to myself until he had been dealt with.

"I wish we had more data about him," Taiki murmured, tapping the end of her chin.

"Well... Ami-chan always had her computer," I remembered. There were plenty of times that she'd pulled it out in order to scan an enemy. I couldn't remember if she'd ever done it to Rubeus but she must have at some point. "Maybe Luna could get that for you."

"It didn't disappear when..." She looked uncomfortable with the question and trailed off.

"I'm not sure. Luna had access to all of our stuff even after the fall of the Silver Millennium," I said thoughtfully, purposely forcing myself to not think about the senshi and the day they died. I didn't want to start crying again. "I think... maybe there's some kind of magic that keeps our transformation items and the weapons we use from being destroyed when we die." I thought it was possible that my mother had something to do with that. It was just the kind of thing she wouldn't bother to mention to me unless she thought I needed to know about it.

"Well I'll talk to her about it," said Taiki, stretching her hands over her head and muffling a yawn with her hand. "When will she be around again?"

"I don't know. Probably soon." Luna and Artemis hadn't been spending much time around the apartment and I thought I knew why. Artemis was probably having a difficult time adjusting to life without Minako. He'd been her constant companion for years and her death had to be upsetting. I hoped that Luna was doing her best to comfort him, and that someday the two of them would be able to come back to me. I missed having them around.

Seiya stood up. "I'm going to go make sure the doors are locked. We'll keep talking about it in the morning," she said.

Yaten had fallen asleep, I noticed when I twisted my head around. Chibi-Chibi had slid off my belly and was now curled up between us. Taiki lay down on the other side of Yaten and I heard her breathing level out within a couple of minutes. There was a space between me and the edge of the bed and when Seiya came back into the room she brushed her hair and then crawled in beside me. I waited to see what she would do and was gratified when she scooted up far enough that we were pressed together, my side against her front, since she was lying turned towards me. Every breath washed over my cheek and I could tell from the minty scent that she'd taken a moment to brush her teeth before coming in.

"Are you alright?" she asked me softly, and her voice was so quiet that if I hadn't been right next to her I wouldn't have heard her. "We never did get the chance to talk about what was upsetting you earlier."

I looked at her. Her eyes were closed. I'd never realized that she had such long eyelashes before. They created little curved shadows on her skin. At that moment, in the darkened room lit only by moonlight, I was seized with the desire to lean forward and kiss her. I could have done it. Her mouth was inches away. In her female form, she had fuller lips that were a pale shade of pink, plump and soft. For a split second I wondered what it would be like to kiss a girl. I'd only ever kissed Mamo-chan. I thought it would be different kissing Seiya and I wanted to find out. I might have done it, too, if Chibi-Chibi hadn't rolled over and kicked me in the side.

Immediately, I realized what I was doing and how inappropriate it was. I was pregnant with another man's child and I'd just lost the love of my life. How could I be thinking about kissing someone else? _Especially_ Seiya. The last thing I wanted to do was drive her away by being foolish. I swallowed hard, licking my lips, and realized that she was probably waiting for an answer to her question. I started to say something but the sound of her soft breathing killed the words. She had fallen asleep.

"Goddess above," I muttered, a little disgusted with myself. What had I been thinking? Seiya was rapidly becoming my best friend, the one person I depended on above all others. There way no way I could do this to either of us. I wanted her to stay with me but that was not the way to make it happen. I closed my eyes and vowed to myself that I wouldn't do anything to risk our friendship.

I must have fallen asleep after that but it wasn't the most peaceful night I've ever spent. I had the strangest feeling of cold water running over my body. My fingers felt frozen and I opened my eyes wondering if someone had left the window open and it had begun to rain. Instead of the bedroom, I found myself looking at a beautiful garden that had been lovingly tended by more than one person. It was both familiar and foreign at the same time, and when my hands fell to my sides and I grasped a finely woven, satiny material I knew why.

"Mother," I said, spinning around.

Queen Serenity was standing about three feet behind me, a small smile on her face. Just like always, she looked exactly the same as she had on the day we died. I had to clamp down on the urge to burst into tears when I saw her. That wasn't very princess-like, and even though I wasn't technically a princess I was always more aware of what I had been when I was dressed as Princess Serenity. I took a cautious step towards her, wondering why she had called me here, and she looked at me and opened her arms. I couldn't have gotten a better invitation. In the span of a few steps she had her arms wrapped around me.

"My poor little girl," she said softly and kissed the top of my head. It was the most maternal thing she had ever done for me, even counting my memories from when she was alive, and I couldn't help tilting my head back to look at her in surprise. She gave me a sad smile and cupped my cheek. "I never wanted this for you, Serenity," she said. "I wanted you to be happy, but not like this."

I knew she was being sincere and somehow that just made it hurt more. "I don't know what to do," I confessed.

"You'll figure it out, my darling. I have every confidence in you," she told me. "Remember what your beloved Endymion told you. He has never lied to you, not when it matters. There's no shame in wanting to move on. You are still alive and no one would blame you."

"Mother…" I stopped. It was obvious she knew what I'd been thinking about Seiya and I couldn't answer her; the words lodged painfully in my throat. I dropped my head back onto her shoulder and let her rock me back and forth. Here in this place, where I was safe and loved and I didn't have to worry about anything, I never wanted to leave.

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Please review!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I was planning to have Usagi keep it a secret for a while but she decided someone had to know… Enjoy!

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I was the first one up the next morning, which wasn't surprising. On the rare occasion that Queen Serenity visited me in my dreams I usually woke up feeling refreshed, as though I'd slept for a lot longer than I actually had. I slowly detangled myself from the group on the bed and slipped out of the room, gently closing the door behind me. I went into the bathroom and by the time I came out I could tell that I wasn't alone in the apartment anymore. But Seiya's door was still shut and the kitchen and living room were both quiet. I thought I knew who was there and as I stepped out into the living room I saw that I was right. Big ruby eyes were looking back at me.

"Good morning, Usagi-chan," Luna said quietly. She was curled up beside Artemis, who had his head tucked underneath Luna's tail. He was sleeping. "It's really early for you to be awake. I didn't think I'd see you for a few more hours. You always did love the chance to sleep in." She gave me her version of a kitty smile and I knew she wasn't going to scold me for not going to school, that she understood why we weren't going. I lifted my hand and beckoned to her and she leapt off of the couch and padded into the kitchen after me.

"Luna, what are you doing here?" I asked, automatically going over to the refridgerator. There was a pitcher of cream that was almost full and several cartons of cold leftover Chinese food. I put some of the cream in a little dish for Luna and snagged one of the cartons for myself.

"Queen Serenity contacted us," she replied, lapping daintily at the milk. She stopped to clean her whiskers before she continued, "She told me about Rubeus and advised me that this is the time when you needed us the most. I'm sorry that we've been neglecting you, Usagi-chan. The queen is right. You're still my charge and I've left you here with the Starlights." There was a look of remorse on her face that nearly broke my heart.

"It's not your fault," I said, kneeling down on the floor. I reached out and stroked her soft fur and she purred, turning her head to nuzzle against me gently. "Luna, the Starlights have been taking good care of me. Don't let Mother make you feel guilty. This has been really hard on all of us and I want you to be there for Artemis."

She stared at me for a long minute and I didn't understand why until I went back over what I'd just said and then it clicked. Unless I was dressed as Princess Serenity, I rarely referred to Queen Serenity as my mother. I had a mom here on Earth and for the most part I was perfectly content with her. But after the night I'd just shared with Queen Serenity I didn't feel right in pretending that she was anything else. She'd cared for me, loved me, exactly the way a mother should. I'd felt safe and warm and above all loved in her arms. She was my mother and I had to acknowledge that. But before I could explain Luna just shook her head and smiled.

"I know you love the Starlights, Usagi-chan, but your mother was right." She spoke the words carefully, like she was expecting me to get angry. When I just sat there and watched her she added, "And I think it will be good for Artemis to have something else to focus on. This constant mourning over Minako-chan isn't good for him either."

"I can't really blame him," I said quietly, prying open the top of the container. I put a fork inside and lifted up a spoonful of chicken chow mien. It tasted just as good cold as it had the night before. "He must miss Minako-chan something awful."

Luna sighed. "He does, but no more so than you miss them." She looked up at me. "I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you."

"Eh?" I blinked at her in puzzlement.

"I didn't know how you would do after the battle. I was really worried about you. I thought that you might lack the strength to go on," Luna said. She flicked her tail when I started to speak. "And yes, I know that the Starlights have been there for you every step of the way. You'll never know how much I thank the gods that they were. But they could've given you all of the encouragement in the world and it wouldn't have made any difference unless there was a part of you that wanted to keep going. I'm glad that you were strong enough. You've really grown up."

My eyes misted with tears. Luna had seen me at my worst. She'd stuck with me during that first battle when I'd sat in the corner and cried like a child, all the way through everything. To hear her say that meant more to me than I could have imagined. It also made me want to tell her what I'd found out. I rarely kept secrets from Luna and I didn't want to start now. I leaned forward, brushing at my eyes, and whispered, "Luna, can you keep a secret? I mean, really keep it, not sharing it with Artemis or my mother or anyone."

"Of course," Luna said. "You can tell me anything."

I took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

There was a moment of silence during which Luna processed this and then her eyes got real big. "You're _what_?" she screeched so loudly that I cringed.

"Luna! Keep your voice down!" I hissed. It wouldn't take much to wake Seiya, Yaten and Taiki up. The three of them were pretty light sleepers. I leaned forward and listened but I couldn't hear anything. Luna was still staring at me in disbelief and I nodded, keeping my finger over my lips as a reminder for her to stay quiet. "You heard me. I'm pregnant."

"But how…?" She looked me over, her eyes narrowing on my tummy. I was still wearing what passed for pyjamas and the top fit closely enough for her to be able to tell that I hadn't gained any weight. "You don't look like you're pregnant," she said suspiciously.

"The doctor said I'm not very far along," I replied, shifting so that I was leaning against the cupboards. "Only a few weeks."

It probably wasn't the best thing to say. I could see Luna doing the math in her head. Mamo-chan had been gone for quite a while before the final battle. Even if we'd had sex before he left I would've been about four or five months along, not just a few weeks. That meant it had to be someone else, someone who had been close to me. Maybe even someone I'd been staying with. This was exactly what I had been afraid of. Even Luna, who knew that the Starlights were technically girls, was thinking of Seiya. Before she could say anything I reached out and clapped a hand over her muzzle, keeping it shut.

"It's not Seiya," I said flatly. "So don't even go there, okay? The father is Mamo-chan. His spirit came to visit me in a dream a few weeks ago. He wanted to say good-bye and we ended up… you know." I blushed a little. "I think the ginzuishou must have reacted to how upset I was over losing Chibi-Usa and somehow what happened between us became… real. It's the only explanation, Luna. I haven't had sex with anyone else."

Luna stared at me for a long moment. I took my hand away so she could speak. The first thing she said was, "You know that it might not be Chibi-Usa, right?"

"I know," I said defensively, even though I had been trying my hardest to _not_ consider that. I'd be happy to have any child that was a mix of Mamo-chan and me, but to have Chibi-Usa back would be wonderful. "But there is a chance that it might be."

"Usagi-chan," she sighed. "You certainly do get yourself into messes. I take it that the Starlights don't know yet since you told me I wasn't allowed to tell Artemis. You do know that you're going to have to share this information with them eventually, right? This isn't the sort of thing that you'll be able to hide forever. Even if you used the Luna Pen, eventually you'll have a… a baby." Her voice stuttered slightly.

I smiled wearily. "I hadn't even thought about using the Luna Pen. I know I'm going to have to tell them sooner or later but we need to deal with Rubeus first. You should have seen him, Luna. He was so angry at me and he said that he wished Chibi-Usa was there so he could kill her, too. If he finds out there's a chance I'm pregnant with her he'll be even more determined."

She frowned and I knew she wanted to argue with me but couldn't figure out how to do it. I didn't want to go into the whole worrying about people's reactions because I knew what Luna would say. She'd tell me that it was the Starlights' choice to make and that I should tell them privately and let them decide what to do. And she was right, but I also knew that it could be left until later. It wasn't like I was going to be giving birth tomorrow. Eventually I reached out and started lightly scratching behind her ears in a way I knew she loved. Sure enough she began to purr.

We sat there for a long time, until light began to come in through the windows and I heard the sounds of someone getting up. I leaned my head back against the cupboards, watching through half-open eyes as a sleepy-looking Seiya stumbled into the room. Her hair was hanging around her face in a tangled mess and her clothes were wrinkled. I knew it was a dangerous way to think, but I couldn't help it: when she stopped in a little patch of sunlight and smiled down at me I thought she looked beautiful. It made my heart turn over.

"You're up early, Odango," she said in a rough voice. "Did you want to go to school today?"

"Not really," I said honestly.

"I didn't think so. We have a meeting with our manager this afternoon. You can come with us if you want." Seiya ambled across the room and started pouring water into the electric kettle. After turning it on she got a couple of boxes of tea down. "It won't be too interesting, I'm afraid. They want to know what we're planning to do."

"Oh." I sat up straight, intrigued. I knew that the Starlights were going to be staying on Earth but no one had broached the topic of what, exactly, they would be doing here. I'd wondered if they would start singing again and I said as much.

Seiya shook her head. "I have no idea. It was fun to sing at the service but… I guess I thought we'd said good-bye to that life after the farewell concert. I never expected for it to be an option, you know?" The kettle whistled and she poured boiling water into two cups, then added a tea bag to each one. She sat down next to me and handed me one of them. "Plus we'd have to decide if we want to do it as boys or girls. Either way has the potential to be a media nightmare. And then there's you."

"Me?" I stirred my tea and frowned.

"Yes, of course. What if we went on tour? We can't just leave you here by yourself," she replied. "Being pop stars meant our lives were incredibly busy and we wouldn't have as much free time. It's something we're going to have to think about before we commit to writing new songs and doing concerts and advertising and everything. Right now we've got the chance to walk away and that might not be something we get again for a long time."

"I guess," I said. I didn't say what I was thinking: would Seiya, Yaten and Taiki ever really be happy just being normal teens on Earth?

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Please review!


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** I actually had a hard time deciding if the Starlights should sing again… I'm not sure what they would do! That's probably pretty evident. Enjoy!

**Note:** It's November and y'all know what that means. NaNo is on. I'm going to try to be faithful with updates but if I can't, you've got fair warning.

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I'd never actually been introduced to the manager of the _Three Lights_ before, and it was only when I went with them that afternoon to their meeting that I got the pleasure. Well, pleasure probably wasn't the right word to use. I could sense that the meeting was probably not going to go all that well when the five of us walked into the room and he looked up and caught sight of me and Chibi-Chibi. The expression on his face was the same one Luna made after Shingo accidentally stepped on her tail once. To put it simply, he looked like he wanted to push us out the window.

"Seiya-san," he said, glancing away from us. "I've never needed to discuss this with you, but you're not allowed to have visitors accompany you to our meetings. This kind of thing is very private. I'm sorry but you'll have to wait outside." He started to take a step forward, probably to usher us out of the room, and Yaten stepped into his way and folded her arms. She didn't say anything, just glared at him, and amazingly he actually stopped. Presumably he'd learned at one point that pushing Yaten was not a good idea.

Still, I didn't want to cause problems for everyone. I had wondered from the very beginning if it was really a good idea that the two of us be there. "We can wait outside. I don't mind."

"Anything we have to say can be said in front of everyone here," said Seiya firmly, putting a hand on my shoulder to keep me in place. "There's a reason they're here, Otori-san. This is Tsukino Usagi and her daughter, Chibi-Chibi, and either they stay or we all leave."

"Oh, very well," Otori muttered, straightening his glasses. He didn't bother to acknowledge either me or Chibi-Chibi, just ambled over to the table and took a seat at the head. A woman that I presumed was his assistant was sitting to his left, a laptop open in front of her. Yaten sat down beside her with Seiya at the other end, and then me with Taiki and Otori. I kept Chibi-Chibi on my lap, knowing that if she destroyed something while they were talking it wouldn't go over well.

"We've been thinking a lot about your offer," Seiya began. "It's very… generous."

"The record label is anxious to keep the three of you around. You're hot stuff at the moment," said Otori. "You've barely scratched the surface of what you could do and the popularity you could gain. You haven't even gone on a tour yet! I'm telling you, if you let this opportunity slip through your fingers you're going to regret it. This isn't something you'll ever have the chance to do again. You guys are only just starting to make your way and if you wait too long the flames of your success are going to die out." He pointed a pudgy finger at each of them in turn. "Being chosen to sing at the memorial service was just the beginning."

"We're just not sure," said Taiki.

Otori shook his head. "Frankly I don't know what you're deliberating on," he remarked. "Most people would jump at this kind of a chance. When I first met you, you seemed so eager to become as popular as possible and now, when you're achieving your goal, you're pulling back?"

Seiya looked a little uncomfortable. I knew what she was thinking. When they had first come to Earth disguised as boys, their goal had been to reach as many people as possible so that Princess Kakyuu would hear their message. Now that Kakyuu was dead they didn't really need to sing anymore and so being a global sensation wasn't as important. That wasn't the kind of thing they could explain, though, and it must have seemed odd to someone who wasn't in the position to understand. I nudged her foot gently with mine and when she glanced at me I smiled, trying to make her at ease. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before smiling back.

"It's difficult to explain," she said without taking her eyes off of me. "And you should know that if we did agree to keep on with our contract, there are new stipulations that would have to be made."

"Like what? I'm sure that we could work out just about anything," he said eagerly.

"For one thing, Usagi and her daughter will be coming with us to every concert, including the ones that we do while we're on tour," Yaten said. I didn't know who was more surprised by that, me or Otori. My mouth dropped open and Otori actually sputtered. Yaten just sat there, a smug smile on her face and her arms folded. I got the feeling that she didn't actually like Otori all that much.

"You… but…" Otori turned his head and looked at me, openly running his eyes up and down my body in a way that felt a little bit creepy. "That's _outrageous_. I doubt your record label will agree to pay for the presence of someone who isn't a part of your group to accompany you to _every_ concert."

"That's easy enough, then," Seiya said with a shrug. "We'll make her a part of the group. Odango, can you sing?"

"Err… not well enough to get up on a stage," I said cautiously. I'd played around with singing with Naru and Minako a couple of times but I'd never been serious about it. I definitely wasn't good enough to sing with the _Three Lights_.

"She doesn't need to be a part of the group," Taiki said patiently, shooting Seiya a look. "It's fine with us if we're the ones paying for it, Otori-san. As long as Usagi-chan and Chibi-Chibi have the clearance to stay with us at all times, that's all we care about."

"Why? Is she your girlfriend?" He was looking at Seiya when he said that, though his question was clearly meant to be directed all around the room, and he didn't sound pleased.

"No!" I said quickly, afraid that Seiya would yes, as she had been known to do before.

"It's none of your business," Seiya said at the same time and she sounded distinctly colder. "Look, we're not even saying that we agree, but _if _we did decide to renew our contract this is one thing we're not going to give in on. You can tell the label that she's our assistant if you think that will make them be more amenable to the idea." She pushed back her chair and stood up, reaching out to put a hand on my arm. I got to my feet as well. "You can call us once you present the idea and let us know what happens, and then we'll talk about whether or not we want to keep singing or not."

Otori's mouth was hanging open as the five of us turned and left, but I thought I saw his assistant hiding a smile with her hand as we walked out. For my part, I managed to keep quiet as Taiki led the way through the building. I knew it wouldn't look very good if I said anything before we were somewhere private, so I bit my lip until we were back inside the limo. Before I let loose, I glanced around at them. Seiya looked unquestionably smug and I knew she thought the record label would give into their demand. Yaten was staring out the window; I honestly didn't think she cared one way or the other. Taiki was looking at me and smiling, no doubt anticipating what I was going to ask.

"Are you crazy?" I burst out at last. "You might've just ruined your chances to sing again."

"What did you think was going to happen?" said Seiya. "I told you that you were our number one priority, Odango."

"But you can't just…" I was so amazed I couldn't even make the words come out properly. I felt awful for putting that kind of responsibility on their shoulders. They'd adapted surprisingly well to being my guardians, and it shouldn't have been shocking because I'd seen how they treated Princess Kakyuu, but I'd never expected they would give me the same attention. And I really didn't want to be separated from them. But it didn't feel right that they were putting their lives on hold just for me.

"Usagi-chan," Yaten said quietly. "You're all that we have left."

That one little sentence stopped me cold. All this time I had been thinking about what_ they_ were doing for _me_, not the other way around. It hadn't even occurred to me to wonder. I knew they'd lost Princess Kakyuu but the full ramifications, how lost they must have felt, hadn't dawned on me until that moment. For the first time I started to realize that this whatever we had ran both ways, that maybe they needed me every bit as much as I needed them, and that this ploy to get me permission to accompany them wasn't solely for my benefit.

"I'm sorry. I guess I didn't see it that way," I admitted. It made a lot of sense, though, and explained why they didn't seem to mind when I was clingy, or why they didn't mind sleeping with me at night or making so many allowances for me. They were every bit as afraid that I would disappear as I was that they would. "I just didn't want you to sacrifice your life for me." And I meant that in more ways than one.

"It's not a sacrifice," Seiya said firmly.

But in spite of that I couldn't help feeling that it was. As much as they might have disliked certain parts of their life as stars, I knew that all three of them enjoyed singing. It allowed them to earn a living without too many people questioning their background or noticing that sometimes they didn't know things that a child would normally learn in elementary school. I wasn't sure what they would do if they decided not to take Otori up on his offer. And I knew that I definitely didn't want to be the reason that they decided not to do that. I had always been a firm believer that everyone needs the chance the follow their dreams and in my eyes the Starlights were no different: in fact, in light of everything they had been through, they probably deserved it the most.

"You can do it," I said, looking up at them. "I'll be your assistant or whatever. I don't really care as long as it means you won't get into trouble. If you want to keep singing then I think you should."

Seiya looked surprised by what I'd said. "We're not sure yet, Odango."

"I know." But I thought that maybe they were, regardless of what they were telling themselves. I knew that Seiya didn't want to talk about it anymore, though, so I decided to drop the topic. I looked out the window, searching for inspiration, and realized that I recognized where we were. "Do you mind if we make a stop before we go home?"

"No. Where do you want to go?" Taiki asked, twisting towards the front seat.

"Game Center Crown." I knew that it wouldn't be a familiar place to them. My friends and I had often met in the cafe upstairs but we'd been spending less time in the actual center since we entered high school. I hadn't Motoki or Unazuki for a long time and suddenly I wanted to. "It's this place where we used to hang out all the time. I'm pretty sure it's just around the corner. They make great milkshakes."

"Sounds good to me." Seiya told the driver to stop and a moment later we were parked in front of somewhere I hadn't been for years: a place where the last time I'd visited my friends had been alive and well.

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**Note 2:** Motoki and Unazuki were in the first couple seasons of Sailor Moon. Motoki is known as Andrew in the dub, and Unazuki is called Lizzy.

Please review!


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** I love being able to bring in all the characters no one has seen for a while! Enjoy!

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The Game Crown Center hadn't changed a bit. Walking inside made me feel like a fourteen-year-old kid again, fresh out of middle school after failing a test and dreading the thought of going home to my parents. I moved unsteadily towards the counter, ignoring the arcade for the time being, though I noticed that Seiya looked pretty interested in it. I wondered why I'd never thought to bring her around here before. She liked video games a lot more than Yaten and Taiki did. Someday, when I didn't mind being here so much, I knew we would have to come back so that I could introduce her to the Sailor V games. And I knew I'd to show Yaten before we left. Minako would have liked that.

I sat down on one of the stools with Chibi-Chibi in my lap and the three of them sat around me, Taiki perching somewhat gingerly on the stool. This wasn't really her thing and I appreciated the fact that she was willing to tolerate a visit. I spun myself lazily back and forth while waiting for someone to come take our order. My throat tightened when I saw him: Furuhata Motoki. He was one of the nicest men I'd ever met and when I was younger I had a major crush on him, although after I met Mamo-chan that had kind of faded away. He had the kindest green eyes and whenever I was around him he always had the ability to make me feel better no matter what had happened. I didn't even know how much I'd missed him until he came out from the back room and stopped short at seeing me.

"Usagi-chan!" he exclaimed, tossing his rag aside and striding quickly around the corner. I leapt off of the stool, passed Chibi-Chibi to Yaten and threw myself into his arms, knowing that he would catch me - he always did. He hugged me tightly, rubbing his hand across my back. "Wow, I haven't seen you in ages. I was starting to think you'd forgotten all about me."

"No, never," I said, pressing my face into his chest and inhaling deeply. Familiar, comforting scents flooded into me: the thick heavy cream they used in milkshakes, the sharp chemicals of the cleaner he wiped the counters with, and that aftershave Reika used to buy for him. I smiled. "Motoki-onii-san, I'm sorry I haven't been by to visit you in so long. I should have come sooner."

He chuckled and lightly patted the back of my head. I noticed the slightest hesitation before his hand touched my hair and I knew he'd noticed that I wasn't wearing my odango but he didn't mention it. "It's okay. I knew you had to grow up sometime."

"That's not really the reason," I said wryly. I finally pulled back and looked at him. Even though he was smiling there was a noticeable tightness around his face and I thought he knew why I had come. I cast around for something to change the subject and realized that he had never met the others. I said, "These are some of my friends. This is Seiya, Yaten and Taiki." I pointed to each of them in turn. "And that's Chibi-Chibi."

It was obvious that Motoki recognized them but to his credit he took it calmly, just shook their hands and smiled and said that it was very nice to meet them. He took our orders and went back behind the counter to fill them. He always did make the best milkshakes. I ordered chocolate and so did Seiya and Chibi-Chibi, while Yaten and Taiki went with vanilla. While he was running the machine, I turned to Seiya. "I want to talk to him alone," I said. "Can you guys wait out here for me?" I didn't even bother to suggest that they just go home. After the talk we'd had in the car I knew there was no way that was happening.

"We'll wait," Yaten said, her lips quirking into a faint smile. I shot her a grateful look as I took my milkshake. Motoki didn't seem to be surprised when I walked around the edge of the counter. He just signalled to one of the other workers to come take over and led me into the back room. I'd been there before, hanging out with Motoki after school, and it was as familiar to me as the sight of my own bedroom.

"How have you been doing?" Motoki asked me, gesturing for me to sit on the little bed that they kept tucked away. I sat down and he took a seat next to me.

"I'm doing okay," I said, sipping at the cold, frothy goodness of the milkshake. It was sweet as sin and utterly delicious. "It's been… hard. I don't know if you heard that most of my friends went missing during the attack. There's been no sign of them." He was less familiar with Hotaru and Setsuna, but he knew Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako quite well and he'd seen Haruka and Michiru around.

"I saw their names on the list of the missing," he said. "I'm sorry, Usagi-chan."

My throat felt tight and I took another drink before saying, "Thanks." I was silent for a moment, expecting him to offer me the usual platitudes about how there was still a chance that they could be found, how we shouldn't give up hope even though it had been ages already. It was the standard thing to say to anyone who had lost someone in the attack. But he didn't. He just sat there and watched me with sad eyes and I thought that maybe I knew why. Outside of Naru, Motoki had been one of my closest friends for years; he'd watched over me and he was no fool. I closed my eyes. "You know, don't you?"

"If you're talking about what I think you are, then yes I do," Motoki said. He took my hand and squeezed it tightly. "To be honest it wasn't all that hard to figure out. For one thing you suddenly became a lot better at the Sailor V video game."

I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. That wasn't what I was expecting to hear, not in the least. "Oh god," I said, balancing my milkshake between my thighs so that I could wipe at my eyes. Once I got my breath back I looked up at him and grinned. "I guess by that point I had a lot of real-life experience to draw on."

He smiled. "When I saw their names on the lists I thought that something must have happened," he said quietly. "If you hadn't come around I was going to try to go to your house to see how you were doing. I've been concerned about you. I know that they meant everything to you."

"Yeah, they did," I said thoughtfully. The senshi had been really important to me, of course, but I'd never realized how much I'd let the other friendships in my life fall to the side after they'd entered my life. I used to spend all my time with Naru and my other friends from school, but once I'd met Ami, and then later Rei, Minako and Makoto, I just never seemed to have the time for them anymore. The same went for Motoki and the Game Crown Center. It was funny how easily you could drift apart and it was only now that I'd lost so much that I was starting to realize what I had given away.

Motoki didn't say anything for a few minutes, giving me the space to think, but at last he cleared his throat. "I know you may not want to talk about this," he began, "but I have to know. Mamoru… he was supposed to be in America. But knowing what I know about the two of you I can't imagine he would have stayed there while this was going on, opportunity or not. So… please, will you tell me? Is he…?"

"He's dead," I confirmed. I wasn't prepared for the pain in Motoki's eyes when I said that. He was Mamoru's best friend, the one other person in the world who had loved Mamoru as much as I had, and I could tell that the news was devastating for him. He might have been trying to prepare himself for it but there was a big difference suspecting something and being told that it was the honest truth. "I'm sorry, Motoki-onii-san."

He tried to smile. It was pitiful. "No, it's alright. I - I thought as much, but I had to know for sure…" He trailed off and shook his head. "I should be the one telling you that. I know how much you loved him."

"I did. I loved him a lot," I said. I should have been crying: after weeks of mourning Mamo-chan by myself because no one knew him the way I did I'd found someone who missed him as much as I did. But I wasn't. The loss still hurt but the edge of the jagged hole was softened by the knowledge that he would be reborn and that I was pregnant with his child. Mamo-chan wasn't gone from us forever. I wished I could say as much to Motoki but, regardless of the fact that he knew I was Sailor Moon, there were some lines that shouldn't be crossed and I wasn't ready to tell anyone else about the pregnancy. I realized, however, that this was the perfect chance for me to lay the groundwork for my story. "You're right, though. He did come back."

"What?" Motoki looked surprised by this. "Mamoru didn't tell me he was coming back."

"It was after… you know. The attacks started," I said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I got a call from him a few weeks in and he told me to come to the park and there he was. I was really surprised. He asked me not to tell anyone and said that his presence was supposed to be a secret because he wasn't staying. He said..." I looked down at my hands. I could imagine this all so perfectly in my mind. God knew I'd dreamed about it happening during the months when I hadn't known that Mamo-chan was already dead. Sometimes I would fall asleep listening for the sound of my phone. "He was worried about me. He used to get these feelings when I'd be in danger and he'd been getting them a lot. He wanted to talk to me in person to see if it was necessary for him to come home permanently."

"And what did you say?" Motoki asked.

"I told him no, of course not," I mumbled. "And he believed me for a little while, but he kept getting those feelings and eventually he decided that it was too dangerous for me to be here without him. But… his car was attacked on its way from the airport." My throat felt tight. I didn't like lying. But this was the sort of thing that would be difficult for anyone to check up on. I supposed that as far as the university knew Chiba Mamoru had just never shown up for his first day.

"God." Motoki shook his head slowly and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, guiding my head down against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Usagi-chan. I wish you'd told me sooner."

"I should have," I whispered into his apron, feeling guilty. "I was... in a bad place after everything happened. I think I kind of lost it for a while there." I attempted a smile that failed. "If it wasn't for my friends and Chibi-Chibi I don't know what I would have done."

"Ah yes, Chibi-Chibi." He was watching me with a raised eyebrow. "And she is?"

I swallowed. I knew I couldn't tell him that Chibi-Chibi was my sister. Motoki would never believe it. He knew my mother hadn't been pregnant two years ago and Chibi-Chibi was at least five. However, he also knew that Mamoru didn't have any siblings. "Please don't ask me that, Onii-san."

Motoki looked at me for a long time, a troubled frown on his face, before he nodded. "Alright. I just hope you know what you're doing."

"Me too," I said quietly. "Me too."

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Please review!


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews. Enjoy!

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I had no idea what I was doing.

Motoki and I were still sitting there, reminiscing about old times, and it was nice to talk about the senshi with someone who could remember the good things that had happened. My milkshake was long gone and he was reminding me about the time that Minako had gotten so crazed over the racing game that he actually had to kick her out when I heard a very familiar sound. Screaming. I lurched to my feet instinctively, my hand flying to my pocket and the weight of my locket inside. I hadn't been able to face Rubeus as Sailor Moon last time but this time I was determined to make sure that he knew I wouldn't let him do whatever he pleased. I froze, however, suddenly remembering that Motoki was still beside me. When I looked at him he was watching me with a fond smile.

"Go ahead," he said with a soft, sad laugh. "I can't stop you. This is your job and I came to terms with that a long time ago, Usagi-chan." He stood up and leaned down, kissing me on the forehead. "I wish that I could protect you in Mamoru's stead but I know that I can't. I'll stay back here and pretend I don't know what's going on. But..."

"What?" I asked, torn between running out to intercept the screaming and staying to hear what he had to say. The sound of breaking glass made me jump and I turned, then stopped.

"I just want to see." He nodded towards my locket. "Can I?"

I had only ever transformed in front of the senshi and Mamoru unless I absolutely had to. I couldn't recall willingly transforming in front of a civilian. But I also knew that if I could trust anyone, it was Motoki. He had kept my secret so far and I knew that he would never tell anyone. That was why I didn't hesitate to throw my hand in the air and call out, "_Moon Eternal, Make-Up_!"

Magic tingled briefly against my skin. I threw out my arms and spread my wings and opened my eyes. Motoki had an awed look on his face. I flushed, a little embarrassed at knowing that my clothing disappeared when I transformed, but I tried to cover it up with a smile. I hoped he would keep his promise to stay back where it was safe. I nodded to him and hurried out the door, making my way towards the front of the store. As soon as I emerged into the main area I could see that something – or someone – was attacking the people out on the road. Even as I ran forward I saw a familiar bunch of energy balls being tossed around. I didn't see the Starlights but that didn't stop me from heading out the door to confront him.

"Stop right there!" I yelled, the familiar words tumbling easily out of my mouth. "How dare you attack a peaceful street full of innocent people! In the name of love and justice, I am the beautiful sailor soldier Sailor Moon and I won't let you do this!"

"Hmm." Rubeus appeared above me, hovering about twenty feet off the ground. He cocked his head and made a big show of looking me over. "You look different," he observed.

The last time he had seen me transformed I'd still been wearing my original blue and red senshi fuku. I spread my legs a little and squared my shoulders. "You're not the only one who has gotten stronger," I said. I was half hoping that he would take that as an indication to leave, but no such luck. Rubeus had never been someone who was easily intimidated and he just laughed.

"Foolish little princess," he said and threw his hands up in the air. I knew what was coming a split second before it actually happened and I darted to the side, not daring to look behind me as the ground where I'd been standing exploded. Shards of concrete struck my body, opening up thin lines of burning pain, and I winced as Rubeus chuckled again. He was enjoying this. He liked it when we tried to fight.

I wanted to challenge him. I wanted to take out my Tier and throw every bit of magic I possessed in his face. But I couldn't. Chaos had destroyed my Tier during the battle and I had no way of getting it back. There weren't many weapons left in my arsenal. I put two fingers to my forehead on either side of the crescent moon mark. "Moon Tiara!" I shouted, pulling my fingers away. I felt a weird feeling passing over my forehead, like a little shiver of wind, and then a glowing gold disc followed my hand away. "Magic!"

Unlike the enemies I'd grown up facing, Rubeus was strong enough to fight against the minor compulsion bound into my tiara's magic, and he dodged the attack easily. "Is that all you've got?" he called out, looking very amused. "My my, how the strong warrior has fallen. Where's your sceptre, Princess?"

"None of your business," I said through gritted teeth, wishing very much that I could throw something at his head that would actually hit him. My options were limited. I could keep using my tiara in the hopes that at some point it would hit him but there was a good chance that he would hit me first. I could use the ginzuishou in an all out attack but that could kill me and I didn't think Rubeus was weak enough for that to destroy him. Neither one seemed like it would do me much good.

While I was standing there debating, Rubeus lost interest in taunting me. He threw more of the balls at me and again I threw myself aside. He was destroying the road, though at least all of the citizens had long since fled, and I was running out of places to run. I wondered again where the Starlights had gone. Surely they must have heard the sounds of battle? Why hadn't they come to help me? There had to be something keep them away and I was seized with the fear that maybe Rubeus had dealt with them first, that they could already be dead and I wouldn't even know. The idea was terrifying and I stumbled, my boot catching in a crack on the sidewalk.

Rubeus shouted in triumph and I threw my hands over my face, fully expecting to feel agony that never came. A familiar, soothing power swept over me and I dropped my hands to see that someone was standing in front of me. No, make that _something_: by squinting against the bright light of clashing magic, I could see the hazy silhouette of a winged horse. The wings were stretched out protectively in front of me and I gasped, instantly recognizing who it was. I'd never expected to see him again, certainly not now that Crystal Tokyo and Mamo-chan were both gone.

"Pegasus!" I cried out.

"What is this?" Rubeus yelled, cutting off his power. He was infuriated. "I see there is no end to the friends you have to come to your aid," he said to me. "Don't think that they will be able to protect you forever, Sailor Moon. Sooner or later _you_ will be the one who has to face me and I guarantee that encounter will not end in your favour."

I shielded my eyes as he disappeared in a flash of brilliant light. The horse made a low sound of contentment and lets his wings drop. A pale glow of magic surrounded him and he shifted, his form becoming more human in shape. By the time it was done, Helios was standing before me. He dropped to one knee and bowed. "Your highness, I have been searching for you," he said.

"Helios," I said wonderingly. I hadn't seen him since the day he'd said good-bye to Chibi-Usa in the park. She'd been so upset that he was leaving, even though she'd done a good job of trying to hide it. He looked exactly the way I remembered him, eternally young in a way that made me feel old even though I was only sixteen. "I can't believe this. What are you doing here? How did you know that I was in danger?"

"Perhaps it would be safer if we went somewhere more secluded to talk," he suggested. That same glow came around him and he transformed back into Pegasus. He ducked his head and twisted around so that his body was presented to me in a clear invitation.

I came back to myself with a start, realizing that we were still standing in the middle of the street. It was empty and devoid of anyone but us for the moment but I didn't think that would last long. People would start coming back once they realized that the battle was over. I still wasn't sure what had happened to the Starlights but I could call them on the phone once we were somewhere safe. "Let's go," I agreed. It was awkward trying to climb on his back – I would never win an award for being graceful – but Pegasus was patient and finally I was seated, my knees tucked up just behind his wings.

I'd never ridden a horse before, much less a flying one. My body rocked back and forth as he galloped down the road before spreading his wings and taking off. I tangled my hands into his mane and held on. It was nothing like flying under my own power. I was very aware of the fact that Pegasus was the one in control. I trusted him not to drop me but it was still comforting to know that if I fell I had my own wings with which to fly. Still, I was glad that our flight wasn't all that long. He took me to the park where we'd said good-bye to him. I clung to him as we landed and his hoofs impacted the ground, galloping for a short period before he came to a stop. He bowed his head and I realized that he was waiting for me to climb off.

"Helios, you saved me," I said once I was standing. "Thank you."

For the third time, that glow surrounded him and he became Helios once more. "It was no problem, your highness," he said. "As I said, I have been searching for you for some time now. We know about the prince's death. Elysian has fallen into a state of disrepair. I have been monitoring the situation and hoped that it would resolve itself but it seems that is not to be the case." He glanced up at me. "Recently, however, things have become a little better. Flowers are growing again and the trees are no longer dying. The power of the golden crystal has returned. Do you know why?"

"Mamo-chan_ is_ dead," I admitted. This was something else I had not thought to question and it galled me. "I don't know why Elysian would be repairing itself all of a sudden. I can't imagine he has been reborn so soon. Unless..." I touched my belly. Chibi-Usa did have Earth magic in her, even though she was very much a moon princess. She was Mamoru's daughter. Was her presence enough to stabilize Elysian in Mamoru's absence, especially considering that the golden crystal would remember Chibi-Usa? "Helios, you know that Chibi-Usa is dead, right? Only I believe there's a chance that I may be pregnant with her."

It was almost painful to watch his face as the words sank in: the hope that bloomed in his expression made me realize how Elysian wasn't the only one that had been suffering during the past few weeks. That's why I didn't move to push his hand away when he reached out and touched my stomach, fingers spread out across my belly, just about over where I thought my uterus would be. He had such a look of wonderment on his face that it made my throat go tight. He was the first person who had actually been excited my news. I put my hand over his and squeezed it gently.

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Please review!


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy!

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I wasn't sure how long we stood there for before Helios started to pull away, though at the last minute he twisted his hand so that our fingers remained interlaced. I was surprised by the intimate gesture but all too eagerly allowed it. He was one of the only connections I had left to the world that I used to know. I would've gladly taken him in as a brother or another child if I'd thought that he would be willing to stay on Earth with me, but Elysian needed him and that was his home: I suspected that he would return as soon as his mission had been carried out. I wanted to know what that was.

"Helios," I said, "why were you searching for me? Was it just to solve the mystery of why Elysian was doing so much better?"

"Partly, but I also wanted to make sure that you and the Earth were doing alright," he replied. "The war was a difficult one. I was aware that you had survived but not in what capacity." He hesitated and looked up at me for a second before his eyes fell to the ground. "During that fight, you were unable to use the weapon I gave you." It wasn't phrased as a question but I nodded.

"After you left us, my kaleidomoon scope turned into a tier when I received my new powers," I told him, gesturing to my fuku with my free hand. "But Chaos destroyed it while we were fighting him. I don't know how I would get it back and without it I can't fight." I let out a frustrated sigh. "Worse yet, now that Rubeus knows I have no way of fighting him he's going to be attacking at every opportunity to draw me out. I don't dare fight him with the ginzuishou until I'm sure that it's going to destroy him. One attack leaves me feeling weak for days after and it could kill me since the senshi aren't here to support me anymore."

Helios nodded, looking thoughtful. "What if I told you that I could grant you a new power?" he asked. "It wouldn't be exactly the same as your tier but it might be enough for you to deal with Rubeus and anyone else who might try to threaten the Earth."

I studied him, startled by the offer. "Are you sure you could do that? Didn't you say that Elysian was already struggling?"

"The golden crystal has already improved a great deal," he assured me, "and really Elysian just needs time to grow without interference. Part of the problem is that we were still recuperating from Nehelania when all of this happened. I'm confident that in a few years you won't know that there was ever any damage done. Besides, it won't be power just from me." His smile was sly. "You have some new senshi, the Starlights, don't you? I saw them fighting against Rubeus and his minions before you appeared. Their power in combination with the golden crystal is what will forge your new weapon."

I had to admit, the thought was appealing. "But the Starlights aren't really mine," I said slowly. "Will that be a problem?" Princess Kakyuu may have given them over to me in an unofficial way before she died, but I didn't feel the same connection to the Starlights that I had felt from the senshi. I didn't know if they would ever be able to give me their power to use the ginzuishou.

"They're still yours," he said gently. "It's just a matter of forming the bond and I'm sure you'll have no problem doing that." He looked out at the city. It seemed so quiet and peaceful. "Your highness, if I may ask… when will Chibi-Usa be born?"

"I can't even be sure it's really her, Helios," I said, biting my lip. I hated saying the words out loud. "I want to think that is. But any child of me and Mamo-chan would have Earth's magic in them. Either way, I'm not that far along, only about a month. It will be eight more months, give or take a few days."

He looked at me in disbelief. "Eight _months_?"

I laughed. I couldn't help it. He looked so shocked. "Yes, eight months. In humans a full term pregnancy takes nine months," I said, proud of myself for remembering at least that much from health classes. "In a way that's a good thing, though. It gives me time to figure out what to do. You see, right now no one can tell and I haven't told many people what's going on. Even the Starlights don't know. It's impossible to know how long before I will begin to show, though, and then it will be obvious. I want to hurry up and get rid of Rubeus before then. If he finds out that I'm pregnant and there's a chance it could be Chibi-Usa, he'll be even more determined to kill me before she's born."

His eyes glittered. "I will not allow that to happen," he said and there was a hidden thread of power in his voice that sent a chill up my spine. "Not just for Chibi-Usa, but for this planet and Elysian and the galaxy. You _have_ to live."

My heart was pounding and I felt breathless. I'd seen hints of his power before I was beginning to realize that I had never been exposed to what Helios could really do. I realized that I was squeezing his hand even more tightly and started to let go, but he caught my fingers and held on. The horn on his forehead began to glisten with dewdrops of power that bubbled up in beads and ran down his face, like golden tears. I felt a strange pulling sensation from deep within me and closed my eyes. The ginzuishou flared, a brilliant flash of light that made me glad my eyes were shut, and I gasped at the raw feeling as power flooded over my body. And when I opened my eyes and looked down at myself, I wasn't Sailor Moon anymore.

"Um," I said, "not that I really mind but is there a reason you changed me into Princess Serenity?" It was the second time in only a few weeks, except this time there was a significant difference. I still had my wings.

"I need you to call out to your senshi," he said simply. "How else are you going to make your weapon?"

He had a point. I followed his gaze out towards the city and wondered how he expected me to do that. I'd been telling the truth about the lack of connection between me and them after all. But I knew I had to try. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, thinking about the Starlights. Almost immediately that familiar sense of panic rushed through me and I realized that I wanted nothing more than to see them again and make sure that they were alright. Helios's appearance had distracted me temporarily, made me feel a little at ease because he was so familiar to me, but suddenly I needed to be with them, with my Starlights. My yearning was a strong, sweeping flood that left me breathless but it worked.

_Starlights_, I called out to them silently, along with a mental picture of where I was standing. _Please come to me. I need to see you, I need your help. Please..._

There was a warm feeling surging through me and for a split second I could feel all three of them with crystal clarity: Seiya, Yaten and Taiki, all of them deeply worried about me and where I had gotten to. Their love was a strong force that made me feel happy and strong and sad all at once, and a tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it. I opened my eyes and looked over at Helios and he smiled at me and helped me to sit down on the ground, my skirts spread around me like a cloud. He knelt beside me and kept holding my hand and together we waited, watching over the city, for them to arrive. I'm sure we would have made quite a sight to anyone who stumbled across us but surprisingly no one did, not until I heard a rustling in the bushes and looked up and saw Sailor Star Fighter standing there.

"Fighter," I said gratefully, starting to get to my feet, and for a split second she froze and her expression twisted. I didn't understand why, not at first, until I thought about how I was dressed and the way I'd said her name. Kakyuu. I knew I was reminding her of Kakyuu. I winced and stopped moving, uncertain, staring at her from a position that was definitely uncomfortable.

"Odango." She said the nickname slowly, like it was a reminder to herself of who I was. Maker and Healer, who was clutching Chibi-Chibi, came through the bushes behind her and that seemed to jolt her into action; she crossed the ground between us in a handful of long, rapid steps and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet. My heels slipped on the grass but that was alright because Fighter looped her other arm around my waist and balanced me easily, holding me against her chest, mindful of my wings. She was breathing hard, her body trembling, and I felt her press a rough kiss onto the top of my head.

"Who are _you_?" Healer demanded.

"My name is Helios," said Helios, cool and calm as you please.

Maker must have recognized his name because she put out a hand and stopped Healer. "The keeper of the Golden Crystal?" she asked cautiously, her eyes lingering on his horn. "I thought Usagi-chan said that you went back to Elysian. What are you doing here on Earth?"

"I came to make sure that the princess was alright," Helios explained. I hoped that he wouldn't meant Chibi-Usa or my pregnancy. "I know about the death of the sailor senshi." His voice was grave, filled with a pain I hadn't been expecting. Chibi-Chibi squirmed and Healer set her on the ground. She walked over to Helios and patted him on the leg. Helios looked down at her like she was a fascinating specimen he'd never seen before. Awkwardly he reached down and reciprocated, patting her head.

"We were worried," Fighter said into my ear. "We couldn't find you after the battle."

I closed my eyes, feeling guilty for having left with Helios instead of taking the time to find them. "I'm sorry. When I transformed and came out to fight I didn't see you. And then Helios saved me and brought me here. I should have called to you sooner."

"Helios saved you? What do you mean?" Maker narrowed her eyes and you could practically see her working it through, coming to the right conclusion. "Oh," she breathed. "Oh, Galaxia destroyed your Tier. You haven't got a weapon to fight with, do you?"

"Not as such," I said sheepishly.

Fighter's hands tightened on my shoulders and she pushed me away so that she could look down at me with an incredulous expression. "You went to fight with Rubeus when you don't even a weapon?" she said. When I nodded sheepishly, her grip tightened even more, to the point where it actually hurt a little. "Odango, are you out of your mind? He could have killed you!"

"I can't let him destroy the city, Seiya," I said, bringing my hands up and placing them over hers. It was totally inappropriate considering the situation but at that moment all I could think about was how stunning she looked when she was angry.

"And that," Helios cut in before she could respond, "is why we're going to make a new weapon for Sailor Moon."

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**A/N:** The kaleidomoon scope is the weapon that Pegasus gave to Super Sailor Moon during the Super S season. In the manga both Super Sailor Moon and Super Sailor Chibi Moon received one; Super Sailor Chibi Moon only uses hers once in the anime and that's in the Super S movie.

Please review!


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story even without the senshi.

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I pushed open the door to the apartment that I had somehow come to think of as home. I was exhausted and still a little bit stunned, truth be told. Seiya, Yaten, Taiki, Helios and Chibi-Chibi followed right behind me. I could feel the heat of their stares on my back but I didn't turn around. I walked down the hall and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. It was hard to believe that a day that had begun with meeting with the manager of the _Three Lights_ had devolved into _this_. I looked into the mirror and grabbed the hem of my dress, pulling it up over my head, wanting nothing than to shower the events of the day away.

The door opened just as I had finished yanking it off. Seiya was standing there. I half-expected for her to back away or get embarrassed because I was just in my bra and panties but she didn't seem to be too affected, and I remembered that right after the battle, while they had been caring for me, she'd probably seen a lot more. I had some vague memories of Seiya dressing me. I wondered if I should be embarrassed. I had a nice body, though, and regardless of how I was starting to feel towards Seiya being naked in front of her or anyone else had never really bothered me. Especially not now, after what had just happened between us.

I looked at her in the mirror and realized that she actually was looking at my body, specifically the scrapes I'd picked up while running away from Rubeus. "It's not as bad as it looks," I said.

"Oh really?" she said, rolling her eyes in a way that meant she wasn't going to believe me one bit. "What were you _thinking_, Usagi? Don't you know how dangerous that was? If Helios hadn't been there he would have killed you."

"I was thinking that I couldn't just stand idly by and let him do whatever he wanted!" I replied heatedly, spinning around to face her. I was mad, partly because I knew that she was right. It had been foolish on my part to challenge Rubeus without a plan or protection. If the senshi had been there I knew that every one of them would have scolded me repeatedly for what I'd done, and Luna would no doubt have a long lecture ready for me as soon as she heard what had happened. I couldn't help it, though. My first priority had always been and would always be the safety of Earth, not me.

"And if you died who do you think would stop him?" Seiya cried. "I'm not sure whether to be flattered that you think so highly of us or furious because you didn't stop to think about it before you went charging out there. You can't make such rash decisions, not anymore."

"You're right and now I won't have to," I replied. I could still feel the rush of power flowing through me. I clenched my hands into fists. My new tier was strong, stronger than I'd been expecting. I knew it would give Rubeus a run for his money. "Next time that I face him he won't be expecting me to have a weapon. I'll be able to take him off guard."

Seiya gave me a look of complete exasperation. "If you can't act with more regard for your safety I'm not so sure there will be a next time," she declared.

"What?" I stared at her, stunned. "You can't…" I trailed off. Not less than two hours ago, I had stood in the middle of the three Starlights, who had held hands in a loose circle around me. I'd opened up the ginzuishou, my very soul, and accepted whatever they wanted to give me under the guide of Helios's gentle power. I'd felt their pain, their uncertainty, and their sorrow, and in return I knew they had felt all of mine as well as my hope for the future. The ginzuishou had reacted in a furious flash of light and raw magic and I still wasn't sure what had happened. I'd passed out and by the time I woke up Seiya, Yaten and Taiki had been gathered around me and there was a new tier on the ground beside me. Helios had been gone, though Taiki told me he'd said he would return.

I could feel the Starlights now, just the way I used to be able to feel the senshi. If I concentrated hard enough I was certain I would be able to find any of them no matter where they were in the city, regardless of whether they were transformed. I'd accepted them as my new guardians, my senshi, and in turn that meant I really was their princess now. And they had the right to protect me as they saw fit, even if that meant banning me from fighting. I wouldn't give in so easily, of course, but they weren't used to having a princess who regularly fought by their sides.

Gradually, Seiya's angry expression softened as I stood there in silence, struggling to find an appropriate response, and then she sighed. "Odango," she said and words couldn't describe how relieved I was to hear her call me that. It no longer seemed right when Seiya called me anything else. "We're just trying to protect you. You have no idea how much you scared me today. I'm not vain enough to think that we could defeat Rubeus without your help. His power is unlike anything we used to face on Kinmoku. But if it means that you're going to keep risking yourself then we'll do it, because I'm not going to let anything happen to you!"

"Oh Seiya," I said. I wasn't sure who reached out for whom but suddenly I was in her arms and she was holding me so tightly that it hurt but I didn't care. I pressed my face into the curve of her neck and clung to her. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to - I honestly wasn't thinking about my tier when I transformed, I swear. It's the first time I have since Galaxia."

"I'm sorry too," she said quietly, her voice muffled because of where it was pressed against my hair. "I didn't come in here to yell at you. But you - god, when we couldn't find you afterwards I thought for sure that we were too late and you were already dead. It was one of the worst moments of my life. I don't want to fail you the way we…" Now she was the one who trailed off but I knew what she was going to say. A rush of sympathy flooded through me and I pulled back so that I could reach up to cup her face.

"Don't say that. It wasn't your fault," I told her. I knew she wouldn't believe me but I had to say it anyway. "Seiya, you didn't know that Princess Kakyuu was going to step forward and protect us all like she did. I know you would have stopped her otherwise if you could have. She was very brave and she died so that we could keep going." I could feel myself getting choked up. Kakyuu had been such a wonderful woman, with a warm shine that called to me. I wished that there had been time for me to get to know her better. "You didn't fail her. It was her choice to make and that's something you couldn't have changed."

There were tears in Seiya's eyes. "I know. It was just like her," she confided. "Even when the hands of Chaos approached our planet she was so determined that she was not going to give up. She wanted to stay and fight until the end. She would have if we hadn't convinced that her death would mean the end of Kinmoku. And in the end it didn't matter anyway."

I held her while she cried, my heart aching with the desire to take away her pain, to take away all of their pain, and it killed me that I was so helpless. I whispered her name and rubbed my hand up and down her back, wishing that there was something I could do. I would have gladly sacrificed myself to bring Kakyuu back but I knew that was impossible. Her starseed was going to be reborn and without it Kakyuu would last only a few minutes before she faded away again, and it would only be cruel to make them live through her death a second time. In this I could do nothing, no matter how much I hated it.

"It did matter," I whispered after several minutes. Seiya had become heavy and I lowered us both to the floor. I knelt and let her lean against me, her head pillowed against my chest, while I stroked her hair. "It did matter, Seiya. Without you all I wouldn't have had the strength to keep going after Galaxia killed my friends." I felt a lump in my throat. "You guys told me that they were always with me no matter what happened and because I believed that I was able to stop Chaos once and for all. I wouldn't want anyone else to feel this way. We stopped him before that could happen."

Her sobs slowed and I knew she was listening to me. I kept going. "I didn't know your princess very well but I do know this. She was a good person. She gave her life to protect you, Yaten and Taiki because she loved you. You were her friends just as much as her guardians and I don't believe for a second that she would have regretted dying to protect you. She died with a smile on her face because you were there, Seiya. And I know that she would be very proud of you for how you've kept going, for how you've protected me. I know this is hard. I know." I blinked and felt a tear run down my cheek. My voice was quivering. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I scared you. I'll try to be a better princess to you."

Seiya actually laughed a little against me. It took me a moment to realize that the shaking of her shoulders wasn't due to her crying. I frowned and she looked up at me, tears still glistening on her cheeks, and smiled. "Gods above, Odango, you're already good to us. I'm not sure how you could be any better. You let us stay here on Earth and even back when you didn't know if we could be trusted you always reached out to us. The only way you could get any better is if you stopped running headlong into battles and I doubt that's going to stop anytime soon."

I smiled too, relieved that she was going to drop the idea of trying to get me to stop fighting. "How about I promise to keep in better contact next time?" I said. I had an idea but I was going to need Luna's help with it, and I didn't want to say anything until I knew whether or not it could be done.

"I'd feel better if you agreed to wait until we were with you but I'll take what I can get." Seiya sat up and ran a hand through her hair, which was messy and coming out of her ponytail. I missed her warmth instantly and was tempted to pull her back against me but I knew better: that would place us both on a path that I knew we were not ready for. "Why don't you take a shower and then we'll do something about your scratches."

"Alright." I stood up and realized that she wasn't intending to leave, still sprawled on the floor. I should have asked her to. But instead I boldly unhooked my bra and dropped my panties and felt a rush of satisfaction on the wide-eyed look on her face when she saw me naked. She was speechless and I liked it, knowing I was having an effect on her. I felt pretty breathless myself as I turned the shower on and got in.

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Please review!


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy.

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Luna was waiting for me when I got out of the shower. Seiya had doctored my wounds, putting on some gauze and antiseptic and then tenderly placing bandages over the worst spots. It was a new experience for me to stand there and let someone tend to me so gently. Normally after a battle the senshi and I went home separately and did what we could to patch ourselves up. Injuries never tended to last long after a battle; our healing was so advanced that as long as I ate and slept enough it was never really an issue. But I realized that I liked it and it made me feel good to know that she cared enough to look after me. She slipped out of the room after that and I got dressed in a tank top and boxers that I think used to be Yaten's.

Instead of going right out to the kitchen I walked into what had become my room and took one look at the expression on Luna's face. "I'm sorry," I said immediately, knowing that I was about two seconds away from being treated to another lecture if I didn't speak fast. "Luna, really, I wasn't thinking when I went out to fight with him. But you know that I couldn't just let him do whatever he wanted."

She sighed. "I do know that, Usagi-chan, but you must be more careful. Especially now." Her eyes flicked meaningfully to my abdomen. "I know that you're used to rushing into battle and having the senshi come to support you automatically but things have changed. The Starlights aren't used to fighting with anyone else, much less their princess. It will take them a while to get used to protecting you and fighting at the same time." She padded over to me and I sat down on the edge of the bed to rub her ears. She began to purr immediately and I had to smile; the sound was comforting.

"I know, Luna, and from now on I will try to keep it in mind, I promise. It will be easier now, I think," I said hopefully. Helios had helped a lot. Now that I could feel the Starlights they seemed more like my senshi. Even from where I was sitting I could tell that the three of them were in the apartment. It made me feel a little less paranoid about having to keep them in sight at all times. "I have another tier that I can fight with. And hey, maybe we'll be able to get rid of Rubeus soon and then we won't have to worry about it at all."

"I think that's wishful thinking on your part," Luna replied, a small smile on her face.

"Probably." I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes for just a second. It felt good to let my body rest. "Helios came to see me, Luna. I told him about the baby. He thinks that it's Chibi-Usa."

"I figured that you would, and that doesn't surprise me. I hope you're not letting yourself get carried away with thoughts of Chibi-Usa." She put a paw over my mouth when I started to speak. "No, don't. I think you need to hear this. I know that you want this child to be Chibi-Usa and for your sake I really hope that it is. I miss her too. But you must remember that even if it does turn out to be Chibi-Usa she won't be the child you remember. She won't know about the things you have done together and the memories you shared. That Chibi-Usa is gone forever and you can't get her back. I don't want you to put unrealistic expectations on a baby, Usagi-chan. Both you and Helios have to understand that regardless of whether this child had pink hair and red eyes she's not going to be the girl that you miss so much."

My eyes filled with tears. I knew that Luna was right. This Chibi-Usa would be _my_ daughter. She wouldn't be the little brat who had peed in my bed or mocked me in front of Mamo-chan or fought beside me against countless enemies. "I do know that, Luna," I said and my voice, though shaky, managed to come out stronger than I had thought it would be. "I... keep trying to remind myself of that but it's hard sometimes. I just wish I could have everything back the way it used to be."

"I know," Luna said and her eyes were full of sympathy. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure that you knew."

I nodded because what else could I do? "I do," I repeated. "But at the same time... having Chibi-Usa, even if she's not exactly the same, means a part of that girl I loved is still with me." I put a hand over my belly. "You can tell me that I shouldn't be pinning my hopes on it being her, Luna, but I feel in my heart that it is. And besides, this child will be a part of me and Mamo-chan, the only thing I have left to remember him by. That alone will make him or her precious to me."

"You'll have to tell them all about their daddy," said Luna softly. "And about the Silver Millennium and your past."

"Yeah." I rolled over onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. Chibi-Usa had been a sailor senshi because it was necessary. Even in the peaceful world of Crystal Tokyo, Sailor Moon had still been necessary. Would this child still grow up to be a senshi even if it wasn't Chibi-Usa? Did I want that? I could remember so clearly how hard it had been for Chibi-Usa when she was a child being chased by the Black Moon. My heart felt heavy recalling how many times she had wept over the state of her mother, of me. But then I compared that to the strength of the child who had come to me as a senshi and all the ways she had grown. Being a senshi meant pain and suffering, yes, but it also meant that you learned how important it was to never give up. I wanted my child to know those lessons but at the same time I didn't want them to know what it would be like to have to fight.

"You look like you're having some very heavy thoughts," Luna observed. "Is there something else on your mind?"

I decided not to tell her what I was thinking about. I knew Luna would just tell me that I was worrying needlessly about things that wouldn't happen for a long time. Instead I propped myself up on my hand and said, "Luna, is there a way for you to make extra communicators?"

Luna caught on right away. "For Seiya, Yaten and Taiki, you mean."

"I know that they have their headsets but that doesn't allow me a way to keep in contact," I said. I moved my other hand and looked down at my wrist. The communicator Luna and Artemis had given me a year or so ago was still there. Pale pink in color, the small screen was covered by a round compact with a gold star on top. Most people just thought it was a fancy watch. The others had had something similar that allowed us to keep in contact whenever we wanted. It was especially useful when it came to fighting. "I don't think they can get any more, either. I mean, those headsets came from Kinmoku and I wouldn't want to ask them about it. So I thought maybe you and Artemis could make some...?" I looked at her hopefully.

"Well, we would have to see," she said hesitantly, looking thoughtful. "It's advanced technology, certainly, keyed into your individual magic. I'd need to get a sample of their magic, just like I did for the outer senshi when they joined us. I suppose it depends on whether or not they would be comfortable with something like that."

I thought about it. "I don't see why they wouldn't be," I said. Yaten really liked Luna and Seiya and Taiki had never given any indication that they wouldn't trust her. "Especially if it means that they'll be able to keep tabs on me all the time." It might also help us feel a little more like a team. Right now all of their equipment was from Kinmoku and Kakyuu. Even with the bond hey didn't really have anything physical that signified them as my senshi.

"I'm definitely in agreement with anything that will keep you from being killed," she said with a smirk. You wouldn't think that a cat could smirk but Luna would prove you wrong because she did it all the time. I gave her tail a gentle tug in retaliation and she snorted, slapping my hand away with her paw.

Someone knocked on the door. "Usagi-chan?"

It was Yaten. I sat up. "Come on in."

She pushed the door open and looked at me. "We've got food on the table if you're interested," she said. The way she leaned against the frame told me it wasn't really optional. I hadn't been eating much for the past few weeks and although no one had approached me about it yet I knew that probably wasn't too far off. I wasn't really hungry but the thought of a quiet, peaceful meal between the five of us sounded like an amazing idea. I stood up.

"I'll be right there," I said and she nodded and left. I turned back to Luna. "Thanks, Luna. Do you... do you think that you and Artemis will be ready to live with me again soon?"

Luna seemed to be surprised by the question. The two of them had been in and out with increasing frequency over the past couple of days but we hadn't really talked about them living here permanently. "Do you want me here?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious. "It's alright if you don't. I thought you might want some time alone with the Starlights to let everything settle down between you. I know that it's hard for you to have Artemis and me around. I know that we remind you of the senshi."

"You do," I admitted, especially Artemis, since I couldn't look at him without seeing Minako. "But... sometimes I think that's a good thing, Luna. I don't want to forget about my friends, you know. Even though it hurts I want to remember them."

Her eyes softened. "Then I'll let Artemis know," she said and I could tell that I had made her happy with my invitation. Pleased, I turned and started to walk over to the door, but her voice stopped me again. "Usagi-chan, what will you say when you have to tell your parents about the baby?"

If there was ever a question that I didn't want to answer it was that one, simply because I had no idea what to say in response. My parents would be furious, I knew. Mom had warned me repeatedly about "doing anything" with Mamo-chan. She would be so disappointed in me. And it would be even worse when I told them about Chibi-Chibi. Just thinking about their reactions and all of the questions they'd have was enough to make me cringe. Even if I told them the whole truth I didn't know if they would accept it. I was even a little worried that they might try to make me get rid of the baby and there was no way that was going to happen. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I don't know," I said quietly and then I left the room quickly so she couldn't ask again.

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Please review!


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews! Enjoy!

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We returned to school the next day. I was amused to note that a hasty repair job had been done to the courtyard that Rubeus had been destroyed, but it was still painfully evident that something had happened. Most of the students in the school gave me a wide berth, which probably should have bothered me more than it did, especially when they all kept treating the Starlights exactly the same. I was pretty sure part of the problem stemmed from a little bit of jealousy. From the moment that they stepped into the school, I knew it had bothered a lot of people that Yaten, Taiki and Seiya had naturally gravitated towards my friends and me. And now that they were gone, the fact that the three of them were closing ranks around me wasn't helping.

Wherever I went that day, I was accompanied by at least one of them, even if it was just to the bathroom. It should have annoyed me and under any other circumstance it probably would have but for the moment I was glad of their attention. I couldn't forget that Rubeus was still out there and that at any second he might come back and make me regret challenging him. The Starlights could take care of themselves, of course, but I still wanted to be there. And anyway it was good to know that I was never alone. Even though I'd been so sure that our new bond would keep me from being too clingy, I still disliked being away from Seiya in particular, and when I was around her I was fond of hanging onto her arm or her clothing, just to know that she was really there. I got some extremely unpleasant looks just for that.

Bit by bit, things returned to normal, if you could really call it that. I got used to waking up in bed with one or more of the Starlights and Luna and Artemis and Chibi-Chibi around me. We'd get dressed and go to school. My grades were even starting to pick up a little bit, if only because every day when we got home Taiki insisted that the four of us sit down and do our homework right away. It was kind of like the study sessions I used to hold with the senshi. Taiki was really good at explaining things, clear and concise, and sometimes I found that I was even able to help them out once in a while: it wasn't very often, but occasionally the fact that they hadn't grown up on Earth and had the education that I did was obvious.

Rubeus didn't show his face again. I knew that was bad, probably meant he was plotting something, but at the same time I was glad for it. If he never came around again I would be all too pleased. I could have stayed exactly the way we were for the rest of my life. Oh, I knew that eventually I would have to deal with the pregnancy and telling everyone but it was so easy to push that out of my mind. I was still a ways off from showing (I hoped) and it was much easier to put my head in the sand and think that somehow it would all just work itself out.

And then we got the phone call that changed everything.

I was in bed with Taiki and Seiya, curled up in the middle of them, when Yaten answered the phone. It was extremely unusual for her to get up first. Yaten loved to sleep and she took every opportunity to stay in bed for as long as possible. But that morning she'd booked herself into a high-end spa that was known from its exclusivity and privacy, and she was planning on going there to get the full treatment. Actually she had booked us all in but I didn't think Seiya and Taiki were too keen on the idea, even though it sounded like a blast to me. I was thinking about the fact that the spa was something that Minako would have loved when the door flew open.

"Hey," she said, holding the phone in one hand. She had her other hand pressed over the mouthpiece. "Otori-san's on the phone. He says that he talked to the record company and they've agreed that Usagi-chan and Chibi-Chibi can come with us. Anywhere that we go, they go." She raised an eyebrow, still holding the phone out to the bed. "He says that any other stipulations we may have will be met under certain conditions and that all we need to do is submit them in writing for consideration within the next two days. They're hoping to have our contract re-signed by next week and begin setting up a concert for a month from today."

"That's fast," I said, a little dazed. Seiya rolled out of the bed and stood up, reaching for the phone. Yaten handed it over and then slipped into the warm spot, cuddling against me. I leaned my head on her shoulder and watched Seiya pace back and forth, listening intently and uttering the occasional sound of agreement.

Finally, she said, "We'll talk it over and call you back in an hour" and then hung up the phone. She sat down on the end of the bed and looked at us. "Well, I guess now we really have to decide. Yaten's right. Otori said that there was no problem in getting Usagi-chan and Chibi-Chibi permission to come with us." She bit her lip. "As long as we were willing to sign affidavits stating that we understood if the media started taking their presence the wrong way."

"What?" Yaten cried. "He didn't tell me that."

"It makes sense," Taiki said, reaching across me to rest a calming hand on Yaten's shoulder. "Think about it. I'm sure they're guessing that Usagi-chan is the girlfriend of one of us. It would seem like the relationship was pretty serious if she comes with us all the time. You know how people love to blow things out of proportions."

"She's right," I said. "Don't you remember, Yaten? You guys couldn't even be seen at my house without worrying about what everyone would say." I had to admit, crazy though it had been, I remembered that night with a lot of fondness. It was one of the few times that Haruka and Seiya had been under the same roof without having an outright fight! Though really, my parent's house was much too small to have ten senshi around, eleven if you counted Chibi-Chibi.

"That doesn't make it alright," Yaten grumbled.

"Regardless, we have to decide what we want to do," Seiya said. "Once we sign that contract that's it. We'll be locked in for at least for a year. Is that something we want to do right now?" She looked around at the three of us. Yaten and Taiki didn't say anything. To be honest I didn't think they knew what to say and that's what made me speak up.

"I think," I said quietly, "that you should do it. I know that the timing could be better but you guys managed to work before when we were fighting Galaxia. I don't see how this will be any different." I held up a hand to forestall the arguments I could see forming. "Hang on, just let me talk for a second, okay? You guys really love singing. I mean, there are some parts of it that you hate, like being mobbed, and I get that. But when you're on stage and it's just the three of you making music together, you glow. And that really comes out in your songs, that sense of peace and contentment. I think that if you stopped singing you would really miss it. I think that you'd regret not taking your chance when you had it. You should go for it. I don't want you to regret anything."

No one said anything for a few minutes. I hoped that they were thinking seriously about what I had said because it was the truth. The whole music thing had started as a cover for finding Princess Kakyuu but somewhere along the way it had become so much more. What I didn't say, but which I was also thinking, was that it was the perfect job for the three of them. I didn't know what else Yaten, Taiki and Seiya would be able to do. There was a lot of vital, basic stuff that they were missing, things that someone who paid enough attention might notice. Singing, however, was an innate talent that no one could take away from them and they were good at it. Singing made them all shine like a brilliant star. I didn't want them to give that up.

Finally, Seiya shifted and admitted, "I think I'd like to keep singing. As long as it doesn't interfere with protecting Odango, I don't see why we couldn't. And the contract sounds reasonable. I really don't think it will be a problem to bring you and Chibi-Chibi along with us, even if we went on tour. We can look at the contract before we sign to make sure that it's written down, and if it is then I think we should do it. But that's only if you guys agree."

"I don't mind," Taiki said quietly. "I like singing. I could do without the fans, though. And I'd like to make a requirement that we get a rest day every once in a while, and we'll have to make it a stipulation that we can leave if we have to."

Seiya nodded. "I don't think that will be a problem. That was already written into our old contract so it's not like we'll be surprising them with anything. Yaten?"

"I just don't know," Yaten burst out, rolling off of the bed and storming over to the window. She stood there for a moment, staring out at the city. "I do like singing. It's fun. And it gets us money which I can actually spend on clothing and make-up that I_ like_ this time around. But…" She trailed off and shook her head. "It just doesn't seem right. I'm sorry." Before any of us could say anything she turned and was out the door.

"Let me," I said, catching Taiki's arm when she would have gotten off of the bed. "I think I know what this is about." I got up and followed her to the door.

I found Yaten in the living room, out on the balcony. I walked out to join her. She was staring up at the sky. She said, "It's not right. We were idols before because we were trying to find Princess Kakyuu. Now we have a new mission, to protect you, and there is no point in being an idol."

"Yes there is," I said quietly, catching her hand. "Yaten, listen to me. I fight to protect this city. I fight for love, for hope, so that everyone here can grow up to follow their dreams. How can I fight for those things if I don't have any? You guys gave me hope during the battle with Galaxia. You gave me the strength to keep going, and I'm going to give you your dream now. I want you to sing. I want you to follow your dream. It doesn't mean you can't protect me or that you're somehow doing me a disservice."

Yaten lowered her head. There were tears in her eyes. I stroked her hair and added, "It's okay to have a dream, Yaten, to want to be something other than a senshi. Believe me," and I closed my eyes with a bitter smile, "no one understands that better than me."

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Please review!


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews, everyone. You'll see some cameo appearances in this chapter... enjoy!

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I had to say one thing about Otori. I didn't like his attitude, especially not the way he treated me and the Starlights. But man, did he ever act fast. Within a day of Seiya, Yaten and Taiki signing the contract (after Taiki had hired a lawyer to look it over, that is, on my suggestion) I noticed that there were signs appearing all over the town announcing a new concert for the _Three Lights_. The media picked up on it immediately and before two days had gone by all you could see on the news was talk about how the _Three Lights_ weren't disbanding after all. It didn't surprise me to discover that a lot of people seemed to be divided on the idea: some people thought this was a publicity stunt taking advantage of the war, and others were just plain thrilled about it.

I fell squarely into the second category, of course, and Chibi-Chibi and I accompanied them to their first practice. I could tell that they were rusty and nervous because it had been so long since they had practiced. But I knew that they would pick it up again quickly. My every word to Yaten had been true. All three of them positively glowed when they sang and played their instruments. You could see how much they enjoyed making music and connecting with every person who had the opportunity to listen to them. I wouldn't have wanted any of them to give that up, not for anything. It might take them a little while but by the time the concert came around I had no doubt they would be better than ever.

"Hear that, Chibi-Chibi?" I murmured to her. She was staring through the glass with wide eyes and a pleased smile. She tilted her head back when I spoke and looked up at me and I crouched down next to her and closed my eyes, feeling like my heart would brim over from sheer joy. The voices of my friends were muffled because of the glass walls that kept outside sound from leaking in, but what little I could hear was comforting. I hadn't even realized how much I missed hearing Seiya, Yaten and Taiki sing until I got to hear it again.

"Chibi. Chi Chibi," Chibi-Chibi said. Normally that wouldn't have been a big deal but her voice sounded weird - kind of faint. I opened my eyes and looked down, expecting to see her standing beside me, but she was gone. I stood up quickly, my heart pounding, and glanced around. I was just in time to see the end of her odango as she turned the corner.

"Damn it," I hissed under my breath, shooting a longing look in the direction of the Starlights. I knew that they wouldn't be very happy if they noticed I was gone. But I couldn't let Chibi-Chibi wander around the studio by herself. Otogi had made it very clear that I was responsible for any trouble she got into while we were here. And Chibi-Chibi was excellent at finding trouble. I left the studio, hoping that I would be back before they even knew I was gone, and hurried down the hall to where Chibi-Chibi had been. The hallway was empty but the door at the very end hung open. I walked down the hall and peered into the room but it was so dark I couldn't hear anything. Softly, I called her name, stepping into the room and reaching for the switch.

Something - no, _someone_ touched my hand. I swear to god I nearly had a heart attack. I didn't know how I kept myself from screaming except for that I didn't want to bring the whole building running. A startled squeak got out before I clapped a hand over my mouth, backtracking so fast I tripped and landed hard on my ass. I was practically hyperventilating and all I could think about was that I was going to be in so much trouble when Seiya got a hold of me. I tried to sound brave when I said, "Who... who's there?"

"Baka Usagi."

My heart stopped. Slowly, my hand fell from my locket. It was shaking. I couldn't have heard that right. That familiar voice… "W-what?"

"You heard me."

Somewhere in the room Chibi-Chibi giggled. It was a faint sound reminiscent of better times. Someone pulled aside the curtain that had been over the small window. Slowly, my eyes started to adjust and I squinted desperately, trying to make out who or what was standing in the room with me. And as the familiar forms of my best friends faded into view, a lump rose in my throat immediately and although I wanted to speak I couldn't. It took me several tries to choke out the words, "But how? I thought…"

"We're not really here," Pluto told me gently, correctly surmising what was going through my mind. "Well, we are, but we're not alive, Princess. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that but I didn't want you to get your hopes up. I'm afraid that we're still dead." And as I got a closer look at her I could tell she was being honest. Her body was – all of their bodies were - translucent. I could see the wall right through her. They were spirits and nothing more.

"And actually, we're about to be reborn," Uranus added. She had her arm tucked around Neptune's shoulders. Seeing that and remembering how my last view of them had been as they struggled across the roof towards each other made tears well up in my eyes. I tried to blink them away, not wanting to miss a single moment of their presence. "But there was something holding us back. We couldn't let the Galaxy Cauldron finish the process quite yet. We had to make sure that you were alright first."

My breath caught in my throat. "You... Have you been around me all this time?"

"Of course," said Neptune and then she smiled softly.

"If you weren't okay, we wouldn't want to leave you. It will be a long time before we get to see you again," Saturn explained. She looked impossibly young standing there. It broke my heart. "We'll always recognize you, Usagi-san, but our memories won't come back until we're old enough to deal with it. So you won't be able to really talk to us again for another fifteen or sixteen years."

"Well... that's not so long," I said after a moment. It was a complete lie. That felt like forever. But I knew it could have been much longer. They could have been taken from me permanently. I looked around, trying desperately to memorize their faces. The last memories I had of them was of watching while they faded away before my outstretched hands. I wanted to remember this instead, the good-bye they had come to give me even though it should have been impossible. I closed my eyes briefly to control my tears before I spoke again. "I'm sorry... I've been holding you back all this time."

"No you haven't," Jupiter said firmly, with that no-nonsense voice I had come to appreciate. "We're still your senshi, Usagi-chan. It's our job to make sure that you're okay, even if the Starlights are doing a pretty good job in our absence." She winked at me and I had to smile. Mako-chan had never believed that the Starlights could ever be anything but good. "Don't you think so, Uranus?"

"I guess they've been alright," Uranus muttered. Neptune elbowed her.

"Not as good as us," Mars said. She was the first one who had spoken to me and I turned towards her now, looking at the tears glistening on her cheeks. Oh god that was hard, seeing my beautiful friend. She stepped towards me and reached out like she would have touched my face but stopped, her hand hanging in the air before it dropped to her side. "You know, I was really worried about you for a while there. That's why I encouraged Mamoru-san to visit you. He didn't have the power to come to you like we did. But in the end it didn't really matter, did it? In fact, I think that way was even better." She looked at my no doubt clueless expression and sighed exaggeratedly, pointing to my belly.

"Oh. Oh!" I didn't know why it surprised me that they knew about the baby. From the sound of they had been watching over me ever since the final battle. I wondered briefly why I hadn't felt their presence before. "Yes. Do you know if it's…?"

"There's no way to be certain," said Pluto. It bothered her, I could tell. She who always knew what the future held didn't like being left in the dark.

"Usagi-san, will you find me when I'm born?" Saturn asked. "I want to grow up with Chibi-Usa-chan and you." She looked up at me, eyes bright, and I could practically read what she had left unsaid: you could be my mother if you wanted to. If the circumstances were right. My throat felt tight and I nodded wordlessly. I would find her, no matter what it took, to give her and Chibi-Usa that chance.

"And now," Mars continued like Pluto and Saturn and I hadn't spoken, "we really don't have to worry about you."

I frowned. "Why now?"

"I think you know." She was watching me with that knowing look in her eyes. I could have pretended that I had no idea what she was talking about. It was tempting. But these were my friends and if I couldn't be honest with them I wouldn't be able to admit it, ever. She was talking about Seiya.

"It's not… right," I said lamely. "You guys just… and it wasn't very long ago that Mamo-chan and I had a future together." She was about to argue and I rushed on, adding, "And besides I don't know if Seiya even feels that way for me anymore. Losing Princess Kakyuu was really traumatic for her. For all of them, Yaten and Taiki too. She's not given me any sign that she wants anything else between us other than what we already have." And there was no way I was going to push things without knowing for sure.

"She does. Anyone can see that," Mars said bluntly and everyone else, even Uranus, nodded in agreement. "Usagi-chan, I know you're in love with Seiya. You have been since the day you met her, pretty much. The only thing holding you back before was what you had with Mamoru-san. But you don't have that anymore and the only ties Seiya has here are to you. I don't want you to let her slip through your fingers just because you're scared. It's one thing to truly not be ready but it's something else entirely to let guilt hold you back."

"Rei-chan..." What she was saying made a lot of sense. I'd been wrestling with this at the oddest of moments and I knew it was probably a matter of time before someone else noticed. There was a spark in Seiya that drew me to her even when I was perfectly happy with Mamo-chan. It was terrifying to think about trying to make something happen between us, but it was even worse to think about her finding happiness with someone else.

"You gotta try," Venus said. It was the first time she'd spoken and I looked at her. She and Mercury were standing in a corner of the room. Venus stared back at me and her eyes were wide and wounded. "Please. I don't want… I can't be with Yaten anymore. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever." Fresh tears sparkled as they traveled down her cheeks. "I never got the chance… please don't make the mistake that I did."

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**A/N:** Just to give you all advance warning so no one freaks out, there will not be an update next week as I'm going to be too busy with the holidays. In that respect, Merry Christmas (or happy holidays), Happy New Year, and I'll see you all in 2013!


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** I can't believe the holidays are over already... and that means updates are starting. Enjoy.

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After all the days of misery I'd spent, I'd honestly thought that I couldn't cry anymore. But Venus's words were enough to make the tears start all over again. I wanted to hug her, even started to move forward, but hesitated at the last second. I wasn't sure if she would be corporeal enough for me to do it, and then if she was I wasn't sure I wanted my last memory of my friend to be tangled up with her body, which would feel cold and insubstantial against me, like I was trying to embrace something that was just a little bit firmer than air. And like she knew what I was thinking, Venus gave me a sad smile and took a half-step back to dissuade me from trying to reach out.

"Don't make the same mistake I did," she repeated. "I didn't... For so long things were confusing between Yaten and me. I don't think either of us knew what we really wanted. And then, even after I knew she was a senshi I didn't say anything because I thought she was going to return home with Princess Kakyuu at the end of the war. But now that this has happened, I really wish I had. Even if things had ended badly between us, I wish I'd said something because now I don't know if I'll ever get the chance."

"Me too," Mercury said shyly. Her cheeks were flushed but she looked me in the eyes. "It's not... not quite the same between Taiki-san and I but I still wish I had clarified things between us. We deserved that much. I let myself be intimidated by the idea of love. I can understand how you feel, Usagi-chan. You always had Mamoru-san and the two of you just kind of fell into that love. You never had to experience having to move slowly with a... a relationship."

I stared at her, realizing that she was right. Even though I had been in a serious relationship for almost two years, Mamo-chan and I had just sort of picked up where Endymion and Serenity had left off. There had never been any need for nerves between us because I knew he loved me right from the very beginning. This was different. Seiya and I had no such history. How had that never occurred to me before, that it might be influencing my indecision? I had to wonder how regular people did this every day because honestly it was nerve wracking. The look on my face must have been pretty funny because Venus started giggling and even Mercury cracked a smile.

"It's not the end of the world," Venus said and I was glad to hear she sounded a little more light-hearted, even if it was at my expense. "I mean, Seiya loves you. She put her heart out there even though she knew there was a good chance you would reject her because of Mamoru-san. You're so lucky, Usagi-chan. You don't have to worry about that. I know that when you make it clear what you want, Seiya's going to be so happy. You wouldn't want to pass that up, would you?"

Somehow it sounded so easy and reasonable when Venus said it. "No," I admitted, because it was the truth. I hadn't allowed myself to think about what it would be like if anything happened between me and Seiya. I didn't want to get caught up in dreams that would never happen. But I knew if that nothing ever happened I would spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been. And if she ever met someone else I'd be happy for her but that wouldn't make it any easier to see her with someone else. All of that meant I had to step up and make the first move, something which was frankly terrifying. I'd been putting it off by telling myself I just wasn't ready and maybe that was true but how would I know if I was? I said as much and Venus smiled at me.

"Maybe you'll never know. Maybe that's the whole point," she said. "I'll admit that it's soon and in most cases I would say that it's _too_ soon. But you and Seiya are a special case. The connection that you guys share, most people search their whole life to find that. You were lucky enough to just find it by luck. And I think that, even if you weren't ready to admit it, there was a part of you that has always been ready. You just couldn't face it because of Mamoru-san."

I took a deep breath. Their words were definitely giving me something to think seriously about. Before, I'd resigned myself to never having Seiya as anything other than a friend. I hadn't thought that it would ever be right for me to look at her as anything more. But Venus and Mercury were starting to make me see that maybe I did have a chance. I looked down at the ground, which was all fuzzy because my eyes were welling up with more tears. "I just don't know how I'm going to do this without you," I said in a quivery voice. My voice was breaking so bad that I doubted they could really understand what I was saying.

"Baka," Mars said for a second time. She'd drifted away when Venus and Mercury approached me and now I saw that her translucent body had become even more faded. I could barely see her now. "You're not alone, Usagi-chan. You never have been and you never will be. But even though we will always be with you, never doubt that you personally have strength to handle this and everything else on your own."

"You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for," Jupiter added. "Even though this might be unfamiliar territory to you, you've had plenty of dates with Mamoru-san and you've spent all kinds of time with Seiya. You don't have to be nervous."

"You're a good person," said Saturn. "Remember your promise." And she winked at me.

"Even though I don't know what the future will hold, I can tell that it will be a good one if you are with Seiya," said Pluto, which surprised me. I hadn't thought that she, of all people, would agree with this. She must have known what I was thinking because she continued, "Sometimes it's the future which we don't see coming that turns out to be the best one."

"We just want you to be happy," Neptune said quietly. "Believe me, Usagi-san. You will never know the change you made in our lives." She glanced at Uranus. "If Seiya is the person who can add that sort of light to your life…"

Uranus sighed loudly. "Then I guess it's alright," she muttered, and her expression, though a bit sulky, told me that it really was. I had to smile at her and she smiled back, adding grudgingly, "Koneko-chan, I guess if you have to be with someone, you could do a lot worse. At least we know that Seiya will protect you to the death."

"You guys..." I took a step towards them but it didn't really help. I could tell that they were truly fading away and as hard as that was to deal with, it also lightened my heart in a way. I knew that they were going to return to the Galaxy Cauldron so that they could be reborn, and the faster that happened the quicker they would be back on Earth and growing up. "Thank you for coming to see me one last time. I've missed you so much. What you did for me... I can never say thank you. Not just for helping me to protect Earth, but for being my friends. Everything you say I've done, you don't know what _you've_ done for me."

"Good-bye," Saturn said softly and her voice was echoed by the words. One second they were there and then, in the next, they were gone and I was left alone.

Or so I thought.

I had dropped my head into my hands, weeping softly, when someone cleared their throat. I jumped, half thinking it might be Mamo-chan after all even though we had already said our good-byes, but it was Venus. I stared at her and Mercury. "What?"

"We... could we see Yaten and Taiki?" she asked.

I didn't know why I hadn't thought about that. I nodded so fast I gave myself a headache and spun around towards the door. I hated to leave them but I'd had my time to say my good-byes and now I had to do this, I had to honour their last request while they had the chance because I knew their time here was going to be short. I ran all the way back to the studio. The three of them were still singing and I didn't think they had even noticed that I was gone. I pressed my hands up against the glass wall for a second before I moved to the door and pushed it open. The sound rushed out at me in a wave.

"Seiya!" I cried loudly.

Her hand hit a discordant note and I winced. She pressed her fingers over the strings to stop the sound. "Odango?" she said, sounding surprised. "What's wrong?"

"Hey!" someone shouted behind me. It was one of the recording people. She put her hands on her hips and glared at me. "What's the matter with you? Don't you know better than to interrupt in the middle of a session?"

"Don't yell at her," Yaten ordered, taking her hands off of the keys and folding her arms.

"But she – "

"Alright, everyone calm down," Seiya said before the tech could finish her sentence. It was just as well, seeing as how I didn't think it would refer to me in very flattering terms. Seiya took a step closer to me, one hand reaching out. "Odango, what's the matter? Is it...?" She didn't have to finish her sentence for me to understand what she meant. The way she put one hand into her pocket said everything and I shook my head quickly.

"No, it's not that. It's... there are people here that need to talk to Yaten and Taiki," I said, looking at them. Obviously I wasn't able to go into very much detail and I hoped that they would be able to tell by my expression that it wasn't just a couple of fans. "But they haven't got a lot of time. I'm sorry for interrupting but you two need to go now. They're waiting for you in the storage room just down the hall."

"Who...?" Taiki started to ask as she took her guitar off and set it down on the floor, but I shook my head and gave her a very significant look. She frowned but took Yaten's hand and the two of them walked out of the room. I was tempted to follow, I wanted to see what was going to happen between them, but I knew it wasn't my place to do so. This was private. I took a couple of steps forward towards Seiya and she set her guitar down and opened her arms to me. I slipped into them easily and wrapped my arms around her back. It felt good to be with her again and I knew I'd have to do some serious thinking.

"What's going on?" Seiya whispered to me, her voice soft enough that only I would be able to hear her.

"The senshi came to visit me," I replied, my voice equally quiet. "Minako-chan and Ami-chan wanted to see Taiki and Yaten before they're reborn."

Seiya gasped at that and her arms tightened around me like she was afraid I was going to disappear. I had no such plans. I knew that their rehearsal would be over for the day and apparently Seiya was thinking the same thing because when she let go she told the tech that there had been an unexpected emergency and they would have to go. The tech didn't look very happy about it but, since it was written into their contract that they could leave without any warning, she had to let us go. Seiya led me outside and we waited there in the shadow of the building for Yaten and Taiki to come out.

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Please review!


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I imagine this chapter won't be a huge surprise to anyone, but enjoy.

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I was leaning against the wall and Seiya was standing beside me, her eyes covered with sunglasses. To prevent from being mobbed, we'd moved off of the main street and now stood in the alley between the studio and a clothing store. Only about ten minutes had gone by since the two of us left the building and I knew it might be a while yet before Yaten and Taiki came out. I didn't mind, though. It gave me the chance to think, and that was fortunate because I had a lot of it to do. I watched Seiya from the corner of my eye, wondering if she would still be receptive to the idea of a relationship between us. It wasn't something she had brought up since the battle with Galaxia, but then even Seiya would have known better. We were all such messes before that I knew neither of us would have been ready for anything even if she had. But what about now?

I tried to think objectively, casting my mind back over the past few months to see whether or not there had ever been any evidence that Seiya was still in love with me. She had always treated me kindly, but then again that wasn't really any different from how she normally acted. Seiya was just a kind person when she wanted to be. She never seemed to mind touching me or letting me cling to her, but was that an indication of something more between us or was that just her being a good guardian? I wished that I'd had more of a chance to see the way she and Princess Kakyuu interacted. I knew it would have given me something to base things on. But I wasn't going to have that opportunity so I would just have to make do.

The easiest way to figure this out, of course, would be to come right out and ask her. But I was hesitant to do that. If there was a chance that she wasn't interested in me anymore, I didn't want to make things awkward. Our friendship had changed once I became aware of the fact that she was in love with me, even though I had denied having any knowledge of her feelings. As soon as that thought crossed my mind I was seized by a new horror. What if that was what Seiya was doing with me? Did she know that my feelings for her had changed since the battle? What if she was being polite by ignoring it? The thought made me feel sick to my stomach.

"Odango?" Something must have changed in my face because Seiya turned to look at me. She pulled her glasses down and looked at me more closely, her face set into a frown. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I said, realizing that Seiya asked me that question a lot. I knew that I was just being silly, letting my fears run away with me. Seiya had always been a lot more direct than me. If she knew, I was pretty sure that she would have just said something. Or at least, I hoped that was the case. Again, I couldn't be sure unless I actually asked her and I didn't think I was ready to take that step yet. I pushed myself off of the wall and rolled my shoulders in an effort to relax some of the tension. "I was just… I hope that Yaten and Taiki are doing alright."

She watched me for a few seconds longer before responding. "I'm sure they're fine. I think that both of them would relish the opportunity to get a few things off their chests. I think you did the right thing, if that's what you're wondering."

It wasn't but I smiled anyway. "You're right. It helped a lot to see the senshi and know that they were okay with what happened," I said. I'd known that, of course, but it still made it easier when I could talk to them and have confirmation of that as fact. "I just wish that you guys could see Princess Kakyuu, too." And as soon as I said that, even though I hadn't been consciously thinking about, I realized that it was the truth. It didn't seem fair that she was the only one who hadn't returned yet. Was she not strong enough for that? Or had her star seed already been taken into the Cauldron and been reborn?"

Seiya's face changed and softened, and she reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Your heart is so large sometimes," she said softly. In the light of the day her eyes seemed very big and very blue. I couldn't help looking briefly at her mouth, which was suddenly a lot closer. She said, "As much as I appreciate the thought, I don't think that's going to happen. Princess Kakyuu used the last of her magic to protect us from Galaxia. That took everything she had. I'm sure that her starseed has already disappeared, and I'm not going to waste my time hoping that she will show up."

"It's not a waste," I said, even though I knew what she meant. During those first few days after the battle I had been desperately praying that the senshi would come back to me. It wasn't until I'd given up on seeing them that they had shown up. And yet in some ways, that had made their appearance to me even more worthwhile. I wondered if Seiya would feel the same way, or even if she was telling me the truth. Was that really how she felt? I closed my eyes and looked away. "This situation is so unfair."

"You're right," she agreed, leaning against the wall again and folding her arms. "There is nothing about this that is fair, but I don't expect that to change any time soon. That's what it means to be a senshi."

"I'm so glad you feel that way."

I jumped and Seiya moved so fast that it shocked me, leaping in front of me and protecting my body with hers. "Where are you, you bastard?" she demanded, looking around the alley. I put a hand on my locket and looked around expecting to see Rubeus leering at us from somewhere, but there was no sign of him. Surely we hadn't both been hearing things? But no - my eye caught sight of a flash of light and I glanced up at the sky to see that he was standing on the roof of the clothing, smirking, arms folded in that way that had always annoyed me.

"Rubeus!" I shouted. "How dare you show your face around here!"

"Would you prefer I got rid of you without you knowing who it was?" he asked. "Because that could easily be arranged, little princess."

"If you touch her, I'll kill you," Seiya said.

"I'd like to see you try," he said softly, stepping off of the roof of the building. He vanished and reappeared right in front of us. Seiya jumped and swore and I swallowed a startled cry, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. He pointed his finger at me and leaned forward like he was going to strike. "Do you even realize what you've done? Crystal Tokyo is gone. The peaceful future this planet had planned has been destroyed because of _your _foolish actions."

I reeled back like he had slapped me. He couldn't have dealt a better blow. "That's not true!" I cried, even though a part of me had wondered that very thing several times over. If I had been stronger, more powerful, or even just more aware of what was going on, would the senshi have survived? Could I have saved Mamo-chan? I didn't want to even consider it, but I couldn't help it. I shook my head fiercely, not wanting Rubeus to know that he had struck a chord. "And anyway, what difference does it make? You came here with the intention of destroying that future anyway. So whether it was taken away by your hands or someone else's, it doesn't matter. We'll make a different future, one that's even better!"

"That's right," Seiya said, nodding and shooting me a smile over her shoulder. "And rest assured that is a future you will not be a part of. _Fighter Midnight Power, Make-Up_!"

The brilliant flash of light that went off right in front of my eyes made me cry out. I threw my hands over my face and shielded myself until I sensed that the light had died away, and only then did I look up. Sailor Star Fighter was standing in front of me but she looked different, and it took me a second or two before I realized that her transformation phrase had been different, too. There were a lot more tones of bluish gray in her fuku - for example, her shorts had it for trim and so did the tops of her boots and around her wrists, and even her collar had the two stripes on it - and there were even crescent moons here and there: the same gold moon that was the symbol of the White Moon Family appeared over every five-pointed star.

"F-Fighter?" I stuttered in disbelief.

"You want to fight with me?" Rubeus said at the same time, looking very amused. He leapt up into the air and held his hands up. Crimson power began to flare between his outstretched palms, and within the light several of those small black bombs formed. I knew I'd never have the time to transform before he attacked and I tried to tense myself in preparation. As it turned out, I didn't have to.

Fighter threw her hands up. I couldn't see what she was doing because her back was facing me but I could certainly see the results. She shouted, "_Star Midnight Beam_!" and an enormous ball of glittering blue power began to collect around her hands; it leapt free and raced towards Rubeus, one huge wave that wiped out Rubeus's bombs and swept over him, throwing him up into the sky until neither of us could see him anymore. I stared up at the blue expanse, half expecting to see Rubeus come charging back, but there was no sign of him. It was too much to hope that he could have been destroyed by that, but his disappearance told me he had definitely been shocked and wounded.

"Fighter," I said again, amazed, and she turned around to look at me. Right away I noticed her earrings - one was a gold star and the other was a gold crescent moon. And the tiara on her forehead now had a dark blue gem in the middle. I just stared, too speechless to be able to think of anything else to say, and she laughed a little, though it sounded weak and nervous.

"I think a result from the bond," she said, touching her hand to her broach a little uncomfortably. The white wings were threaded with blue and the star had another blue gem on it. "That's when we noticed the change. What I said when I transform just comes out automatically. I don't even know if I could do it the old way anymore." She paused and then added, "I didn't know if we should tell you or not. I suppose we really are your senshi now."

"You look…" I let my voice trail off because I wasn't sure I was ready to say those sorts of things out loud. _Beautiful_ is what was on the tip of my tongue, and it was true. The changes were subtle but they looked right and seeing the White Moon Family symbol on her was a rush. I couldn't wait to see how Maker and Healer would look. "You look good," I said at last, realizing that she was still waiting for me to finish. I stepped closer and reached out, cupping her cheek with my hand, letting our eyes meet, smiling as I spoke with the honesty she deserved. "You're right, you_ are_ mine now, and I couldn't be happier."

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Please review!


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** A lot of people asked if we would ever find out what happened between Minako and Yaten and Ami and Taiki. I'm not sure, to be honest, but I hope so! Enjoy.

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And that's how Yaten, Taiki and Chibi-Chibi found us, with me leaning in close to Fighter, my hand on her cheek, our eyes locked. The encounter with Rubeus had been so brief that it was over by the time they came out, and I had completely forgotten that they would be joining us. I wasn't going to do anything, but I have to admit that my mind had toyed briefly with the idea of leaning forward to kiss her. It would've been so easy in that moment, sweet and private, and I really wanted to. It surprised me, how much I wanted to.

Yaten clearing her throat ruined that. Fighter jumped and I jerked away. I was sure that my cheeks were flaming bright pink when I turned around to look at them. She was smirking and Taiki was doing a poor job of hiding her grin. I started to scowl at them and thought better of it: I could tell from her puffy eyes that Yaten had been crying, and although Taiki looked a little more put together I knew that she had to have been having a difficult time too. So instead I took a deep breath and forced myself to smile instead.

"Are you all done?" I asked, eyeing the two of them closely. I was dying to know what Minako and Ami had said to them but it would have been rude to ask.

"For now," Yaten said quietly. She was holding Chibi-Chibi in her arms and stopped me with a quick shake of her head when I started to move forward to take her. I backed off and she added, "I think they're gone now. Into the Galaxy Cauldron, I mean."

"Are you okay?" Fighter asked.

Taiki glanced at Yaten and then looked at us. "We're getting there," she said, which was probably just about the truest thing that she could have said at that moment. "What happened?"

Something tickled at the back of my neck, a feeling I didn't fully recognize but which felt slightly familiar. I let Fighter answer the question while I tried in vain to place it. I wasn't successful until the wind changed, blowing my hair around, and the sweet, pungent scent of olives reached my nose. I straightened up with a soft gasp and Chibi-Chibi clapped her hands with a girlish little giggle. Fighter stopped speaking abruptly, and I knew that she had caught the scent, too. My heart started to pound. Not an hour ago I had been wishing that the Starlights would have one more chance to see their princess and now it was coming true.

She appeared at the mouth of the alley, cast in shadows until one of the clouds covering the sun moved just right. Like the senshi, her body was translucent and faded and anyone walking by probably would've called her a ghost. In a way, she was. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as Yaten, Taiki and Fighter went still, and then Fighter suddenly let her transformation go. I knew why she had done it, she didn't want to be seen as someone else's soldier in front of her former princess, but even though it made sense it still stung.

I backed up another step, and this time when I reached out and took Chibi-Chibi Yaten didn't stop me. She was captivated by the sight of Princess Kakyuu. I didn't want to walk by her, but I had no choice, and as I made my way by I took care to make sure that we kept our distance, though she graced me with a kind smile. I turned my head away and clutched Chibi-Chibi so tightly that she whimpered. I didn't want to see Kakyuu's smile or hear what she was going to say.

In spite of that I found myself stopping just around the corner, where I could press my back to the sun-warmed bricks and listen to what was going on while people obliviously walked by.

"Princess…" Seiya was the first one to speak and she sounded completely breathless. I heard a noise a moment later that I suspected meant she had gone down on one knee. "You… you've returned?"

"No, Fighter," Kakyuu said gently. "Like Sailor Moon's senshi, I could not rest until I knew that my friends were doing well. I've used the last of my power and what I was granted a gift to make sure that you're alright before I go into the Galaxy Cauldron. I'll be reborn here on Earth eventually."

"So you won't be reborn on Kinmoku, then," said Taiki and I felt my heart constrict at the possibility. I hadn't even considered the idea that there was a chance Kakyuu could be reborn anywhere other than Earth. It was a good thing I hadn't because I would have been driving myself crazy wondering if the Starlights would leave when she reappeared.

Kakyuu sighed. "No," she said again. "I'm afraid not, Maker. That's not quite how it works. Perhaps if Kinmoku's shine hadn't been conquered by Galaxia, there is a chance that I might have returned there. But as it is, our planet is barren and dead. There are not enough people around to sustain life, much less give birth to a new generation. I died here and so I will be reborn here. I'll be an Earthling child this time around." She paused for a moment, and when she spoke again she sounded amused. "I'm rather looking forward to it, actually. I wonder what it will be like to grow up without knowing that I am a soldier or a princess."

"Princess..." That was Yaten. She was crying. It seemed to be the only thing she could say.

"Oh, Healer, don't make that face, and please don't cry. It's alright, really. You three don't need me anymore. You have Sailor Moon. She will be a wonderful princess to all of you and I know that you'll make each other happy. She needs you."

"But we want you!" Seiya cried.

I couldn't stand there and listen to anything else. I started to walk away and Chibi-Chibi went tense in my arms, and then she started to squirm around and whine. I realized that she didn't want to leave Kakyuu and that was the last straw. I set her down on the ground, perhaps more harshly than I should have, and started running down the street. I wasn't sure where I was going; I just knew I needed to get away. I didn't want to hear the friends I had come to value so highly talk about how they missed their old princess. It hurt too much. And I hated that because it was selfish of me to think that way. Didn't I miss my senshi? Was I that horrible a person to not want them to say the same thing about the woman they had spent their lives protecting?

I kept running until my eternal sense of clumsiness kicked in and I tripped. It was inevitable, looking back, because I'm simply not meant to move at that speed for an extended period of time. It was a crack in the sidewalk that did me in, a little portion that was just a bit higher than the rest, and when my foot hit it my right shoe stayed behind while the rest of me kept going. I hit the ground hard and gasped at the pain, remaining where I was for a long moment. I was breathing hard and doing my best not to sit down right there in the middle of downtown Tokyo and give over to a good cry.

The simple fact of it all was, the Starlights might have belonged to me now but they had belonged to Kakyuu first. There were years of history between them that I would never be able to match. I had forgotten that for just a little while but I knew it was something I would have to keep in mind from now on. As much as they might have cared about me, I would never replace her in their hearts. And I _knew_ that, damn it, just like they would never replace the senshi in my heart. So why did this hurt so much? Why did it bother me?

I sat there for a long time until my heart rate slowed and my breathing was under control, ignoring the people who were walking by and giving me cross looks for being in the middle of the sidewalk. I inspected the damage on the palms of my hands and knees. Scraped quite badly, but nothing serious, and after years of being a klutz and falling all over myself on a regular basis I was pretty familiar with the sting. I got to my feet and looked around. I actually hadn't gone as far as I had thought that I had. I was still in the downtown. I wasn't that far from the arcade.

I went there because I didn't know where else to go. It turned out to be a wise decision - or a poor one, depending on how I looked at it, and at that moment I honestly couldn't be sure. The arcade was busy, thrumming with kids and parents, and I was already a few steps in the door when I caught sight of Shingo. He was leaning over the Sailor V video game, fingers flying over the controls, and there was a girl I vaguely recognized pressed up against his side laughing. I stopped short and nearly caused a traffic jam. By the time I got out of the way I couldn't see Shingo anymore and I assumed that meant he couldn't see me, either. I didn't know if I should leave or go over and talk to him or wait to see if he would notice that I was there.

My confusion must have been noticeable because someone touched my arm, and I jumped and turned to see Unazuki standing there. She was smiling. "Hello, Usagi-chan."

"Unazuki-chan!" I said. "What are you doing down here?"

"I came to visit Nii-san while I was on my break. He's out back. Were you – " She cut herself off suddenly and her eyes widened. I realized that she was looking at my knees and hands. Before I could say anything she had taken me by the wrist and steered me into the women's room. She flipped the lock on the door to keep anyone from walking in and interrupting us and started wetting paper towels in the sink. "Okay, let's hear it. What happened?"

"I don't suppose you would accept that I just tripped," I said tiredly, watching as she knelt in front of me. I didn't bother to argue as she began dabbing gently at the scrapes, washing the blood away.

"No, not really. I know you're a klutz but I can also tell you were crying."

"Yeah." I sighed and looked at the mirror. She was right. My face was streaked with tears and my eyes were all puffy. "I just… I've been having a hard time, that's all." I paused and Unazuki looked up and gave me an encouraging smile. I realized that I wanted to tell her the truth as much as I could, so I added, "And I overheard some of my friends talking about this girl they used to know. She died in the attack. I guess I felt like I was a replacement for her even though we were friends before. She was just really important to them and… I don't know. I guess I feel like I'm not good enough."

Unazuki threw the towels in the garbage and wet some more, this time to work on my hands. "Well, it can be hard to hear people talk about their loved ones who died. One of my friends lost her husband and she hasn't stopped talking about him yet. I except one day she'll move on, though. It's a little different, what you're talking about, but the principle is the same. Just because you love one person doesn't mean you've got any less room for another, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," I said sadly, and I did know that what she was saying was the truth. But that didn't mean it made me feel any better about what I had overheard.

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**A/N:** Unazuki is Motoki's little sister. Her name in the English dub was Elizabeth or Lizzie, depending on the season in question.

Please review!


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:** Thank you for the reviews. Enjoy!

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I stayed and visited with Unazuki for a long time. It felt really nice to be with another girl my age, just chatting and not thinking about anything other than boys, movies, and shopping. I'd almost forgotten what that was like. I was so relaxed that I didn't even mind when Shingo did notice me. He actually came over with his girlfriend, Mika, and re-introduced the two of us. As soon as I heard her name I remembered her, that little girl who had so enjoyed working on dolls. I wondered if she still idolized Sailor Moon the way she used to, or if she'd grown out of it the way Shingo had.

I didn't ask for fear of embarrassing Shingo, but he might not even have minded because when I said I had to go home, he sat up and said, "Where are you going?"

For a moment I thought he was taking offence to the fact that I was referring to somewhere other than our parent's house as home and I floundered for an explanation. But then it dawned on me that he was just asking where the apartment was located, and I realized that I had never shared that information with him. "It's just down town," I replied. "Why don't you come with me and I'll show you?"

"Sure!" Mika said enthusiastically before Shingo could answer. "I'd love to see where the _Three Lights_ live!" Her eyes were shining with excitement and I had to smile, knowing that I had found yet another fan. Shingo was trying hard not to pout too obviously as I said good-bye to Unazuki and thanked her. She made me promise that I would go hang out with her and her friends next Saturday, and I was surprised to realize that I was actually looking forward to it.

"So are you happy staying with them?" Shingo asked as we left. He was holding Mika's hand and I could tell at a glance that he had nothing to worry about. Mika looked totally psyched to be holding hands in public; she was clutching his hand so tightly that I doubted anything could shake her off. He had no competition.

"Actually, I am," I said, if only because there was no point in lying about it. "I know that it must be weird not having me at home."

"I don't mind. It means that there are actually snacks left when I want some." He smirked up at me and I scoffed, reaching out to muss his hair. He squeaked and Mika laughed.

"Well then, I'm glad." And I was. It was kind of hard to hear about my family because I felt so detached from them. Even though this was just supposed to be temporary, I knew I would probably never move back there. My days of being an ordinary high school girl who lived with her parents and little brother were over. Even if I didn't stay with Seiya, Yaten and Taiki - and I very much wanted to - I was enjoying my freedom too much to go back.

Shingo seemed to sense what I meant by that because his joyful smile dulled a little. "Mom still really misses you, you know."

"I know," I said quietly, because there wasn't much else I could say. It had to have come as a surprise to my family. In their eyes I was still been the same lazy girl I always was. They never saw the maturity I had developed through being a senshi because I'd always made it a point to hide it. It was just too easy to keep being silly little Tsukino Usagi when I was around them. Maybe it was finally time to stop that. I stopped walking and looked at him seriously. "Shingo, I'm not coming back. You do know that, right?"

He sighed and Mika glanced between the two of us, clearly wondering if she should let us have some privacy. Shingo calmed her with a little shake of his head and replied, "I think I knew that when you walked out the door with that guy. I think we all did. I'm just not sure Mom and Dad have accepted it yet."

I didn't know what to say that. This wasn't something I could fix, and I think that Shingo knew that, however much he might have been hoping that I would be able to. After a minute of silence, he turned away from me and kept walking and I fell into step behind him, eventually catching up so that the three of us were walking side by side. We didn't say anything, mostly because there was nothing more to say. I couldn't go home even if I had wanted to. I was no longer an average teenager and playing at being one seemed like it would be so pointless. Besides, the thought of leaving the Starlights was impossible for me to even think about.

We reached the apartment building and the doorman let us in. It was a pretty posh place, but I had never really thought about that until I saw the impressed look on Mika's face. Suddenly I started to see the place through her eyes: the marble floor, the doorman who bowed to us, the gleaming elevator that had practically been polished to a shine. This was definitely a high class place. I wondered what they would think of the apartment itself, which was enormous by anyone's standards. I had never actually asked, but I knew it had to be costing a lot of money every month. Still, it wasn't like Seiya, Yaten or Taiki had to worry about money. I knew they had a lot of it. I had to wonder what that was like.

"Wow," Mika said softly as the elevator let us off into the hall. I opened the door with the key that Seiya had given me and she actually gasped. It was a little embarrassing, actually.

"You can leave your shoes there," I said. I rooted around in the hall closet and found a couple of pairs of slippers that had probably belonged to Yaten at some point. I had noticed that while they were living as guys, she had indulged freely in the few clothing pieces that she could. She definitely had the biggest shoe collection of any one I knew, both men's and women's, and fortunately that seemed to include slippers.

"Thanks," Shingo said. He stuffed his feet into the slippers and his hands into his pockets. He seemed uncomfortable and I wondered if I'd made a mistake in bringing them here. I'd thought that he would like to see where I was staying now, that it might make him feel better, but I was beginning to have second thoughts. It was too late now, though. It wasn't like I could ask them to leave. Instead, I led them into the living room, where Luna and Artemis were sleeping on the couch. Luna lifted her head and looked shocked to see Shingo and Mika, and I didn't blame her.

"You guys can sit. I'll grab something to eat and drink," I said, walking into the kitchen. It was actually nice to have company, I realized as I moved around pouring cola into three cups. I wasn't used to being on my own. I hadn't realized how much I had been dreading the thought of returning to an empty apartment. I knew that Kakyuu would have long since disappeared - the senshi and Mamoru had not been able to stay with me for very long, so it was a logical conclusion - but I thought that the Starlights might need some time on their own to come to terms with it. I knew that I was still reeling from the senshi's visit.

I heard the sound of someone turning the television on and I assumed the both of them were watching, so I was shocked when I turned around and saw Shingo in the kitchen with me. Actually, he startled me, and I dropped one of the cups. Cola splattered everywhere. "Damn!" I exclaimed, and then clapped my hand over my mouth. Shingo stared at me for a long moment before he started to laugh.

"Same old Usagi," he said, shaking his head. I smiled sheepishly and grabbed a cloth, kneeling down to wipe up the mess. Shingo came over and helped, picking the cup up and taking the cloth from me while I fetched the mop. He watched me scrub for a minute before he said, "But you're not exactly the same, are you?" And there was something in his voice that made me pause and look up at him more closely. He was frowning, the corners of his lips turned down slightly, and his eyes were narrowed as he examined me.

"I'm not sure what you mean," I said carefully.

"I think you are," he replied. "There's something different about you, Nee-chan. You've been acting really weird for these past few months and I know that I've figured out the truth."

My heart was pounding. I had no idea what he was going to say. For a wild few seconds I wondered if he realized that I was pregnant. I wasn't showing yet, but was there something else that gave me away? Maybe the way I walked or held myself? I stared at him anxiously when he remained silent. "Well, go on," I ordered when he kept silent. "What do you think you know?"

He smiled and I knew he'd done it on purpose to tease me. "You're in love with Seiya."

It was spoken so frankly, so calmly, that it took me a little while to wrap my head around what he'd just said. My hands started to shake, though I made an effort to hide it. This wasn't exactly news I was freely sharing with people. Knowing that someone else knew was terrifying. "Where did you get an idea like that from?" I asked, forcing myself to give a little laugh like it meant nothing. Unfortunately, he wasn't convinced that easily.

"I can just tell. You're totally different around him. I noticed that from the very beginning. It's even different from how you acted around Mamoru-san. When you were with him, it was like you always felt like you had something to prove. You used to try to act so adult. But now… even just walking into this apartment, you relaxed," he replied. I stared at him, amazed at how much he had noticed. "When you guys came to visit us, you clung to him like you were worried he was going to disappear. Actually, that's how I knew that he was in love with you, too. No one could treat a clingy girl like you that gently if they weren't."

I opened my mouth and then closed it. I wasn't sure what to say first. I could have denied it, but there didn't seem to be much sense in that. He was right, after all, and I was sure that he would only bring out more evidence to support it if I protested. Finally, I went with, "I wasn't clingy. And I didn't have anything to prove to Mamo-chan."

Now that he knew I wasn't going to deny it, he grinned. "Yeah you did. He was so much older than you were. I know you felt like a kid when you were around him. Mom used to say that, too. Not that it matters now." He shrugged and then looked up at me. "Are you and Seiya going to get together?"

"I don't know," I said, still reeling from this shocking bout of information. Mom had felt the same way Shingo did? She'd never told me that. I'd always thought that she approved of Mamo-chan.

"Well, you should," he said frankly. "I like Seiya. I think he would be good to you." His cheeks flushed and he looked away, but he kept talking. "You're such an odango atama sometimes. You take on so much and you don't let anyone else help you with it. I thought that when your friends died you would try to suffer through it all by yourself because you wouldn't want anyone else to take even a little bit of your burden. But you let him in." He looked at me. "You need someone like him, Nee-chan. I wouldn't let him slip through your fingers."

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	28. Chapter 28

**A/N:** Thanks so much, I'm pleased everyone loves seeing more of Shingo!

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Shingo's words had given me pause. For a couple of minutes, I honestly did not know how to respond to what he said. I took the time to take a good, long look at him and realize that he wasn't a baby anymore. My little brother was growing up - no, he _had _grown up, right in front of my eyes, and somehow I had missed it. He was almost as tall as I was, and he'd grown his hair out so that it curled over his ears. His green eyes were warm and compassionate as they gazed at me. He wasn't the little brat who used to tease me mercilessly anymore. I wondered how it was that I could have been so preoccupied with my own business that I had never stopped to see the man he was becoming.

"I _am_ in love with him," I said, remembering at the last minute to amend that to him. Shingo didn't know that Seiya was actually a girl. I would have told him, but that wasn't my secret to share. It felt weird to say it out loud, to acknowledge my feelings to someone else, but it felt good, too. I had kept it inside for a long time. "But in spite of what you might think, I don't know if he loves me back. So please don't say anything, Shingo, unless I can be absolutely sure. I would much rather have Seiya's friendship then have nothing at all."

"I figured you might say that. I hope that you'll be able to be sure soon," he replied. "He's pretty famous, you know. Some other girl could come along and snatch him out from under you."

I knew that he was teasing, but the comment still stung because it was a very real fear. I put a hand over my stomach unconsciously and only recognized what I had done when Shingo looked at me questioningly. It was, undoubtedly, a foolish notion on my part, but at that moment I wanted to tell Shingo the truth. Not about my being Sailor Moon, there was still too much I had to work out for me to share that with anyone, but about the baby. He was going to be an uncle. He deserved to know. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Things are more complicated than you realize. It's not that easy."

"What do you mean, it's not that easy?" Shingo frowned. He'd always been a smart kid and I knew it wouldn't take him long to put two and two together. I made no effort to hide from his searching gaze. I kept the hand pressed against my belly and sure enough, his eyes eventually fell to my stomach and then widened. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something and then stopped. He shook his head.

"Yes," I said, my voice cracking because of my nerves. I knew there was a chance this could go very badly. If Shingo told Mom and Dad... I didn't want to imagine what they would say. I knew that confrontation would be coming sooner rather than later as it was, but I needed more time. I prayed that he would understand. "I didn't tell anyone, Shingo, but Mamo-chan came back from America. He was... worried about me. He didn't stay for very long. That's... that's actually how he died, trying to get out of Japan." And I had to swallow back tears, because at least that much was true. "Part of me wishes he had never come back. But while he was here, one thing led to another and we…"

"You're pregnant," he breathed. "Oh my god."

I nodded. "Yes, I'm pregnant," I confirmed. "After the attack at my school the hospital gave me a standard test while they were checking me out, and that's how I found out." I smiled bitterly. "It wasn't a very good day for me."

"I can't believe this. Or actually, I can, but I never thought that you..." Shingo trailed off and shook his head again. He looked away from me and stared out the window for a minute before he glanced back. "You... you're not joking, are you? Because I have to tell you, this would be in really poor taste."

"Shingo! No, I am not joking. I really am pregnant," I said. "You just can't tell yet because I'm not very far along. I figure I have another month or two before anything is visible. And right now, very few people know so you cannot tell anyone, understand? Not Mom, not Dad, and definitely not Seiya, Yaten or Taiki. I only told you because I wanted you to know."

He scratched his head and sighed. "Well, I'm glad you told me. But don't you think that's something your friends should know?"

"I know, and I do want to tell them, but I'm afraid." I licked my lips nervously. "Not about what they'll say, I actually think they will be very understanding. I'm worried about what everyone else is going to say. There are enough rumors about us already, Shingo. I've seen the magazines and the newspapers. I've heard what people are saying. They're all convinced that one of the _Three Lights_ is dating me, and those are the nicer rumors I've heard." I scowled briefly, thinking about the worse ones I had come across. "If it comes out that I'm pregnant, you know what everyone is going to say. It's not fair to put that kind of backlash onto the three of them, not after they've been so nice to me."

Shingo didn't say anything for a moment. "Alright, I can see where you're coming from. I get how that's a major source of concern. But still, Nee-chan, you can't keep this from everyone forever. Like you said, you're going to start showing and I doubt people are going to believe that you're just getting fat no matter how much you eat." He gave me a weak smile.

I smiled back. However mild the taunt was compared to normal, it was still reassuring to hear. "I realize that. I guess I'm just trying to put it off as long as possible." Just long enough for us to get rid of Rubeus and for me to think about leaving so that the Starlights wouldn't have to face this possible media storm at all. "And you have to promise me that you're not going to tell anyone else. I told you this in confidence."

"I don't know." Shingo hesitated. "I don't feel right hiding this from Mom and Dad."

"You have to! I'm not ready to tell them yet."

"But don't you think it will only get worse the longer you wait?"

Logically, I knew he was right. The smart thing to have done would have been to have gone to Mom and Dad as soon as I found out. Mom would be even more hurt and angry when she knew I'd been hiding this all along. It wouldn't help to convince her that the father was Mamo-chan, either. I looked at him and spoke the truth. "I couldn't," I said very quietly. This was a fear I had shared with no one. "I was afraid… I'm only sixteen, Shingo. If Mom and Dad wanted to, they could try to make me get rid of the baby or give it up for adoption. And I couldn't bear that." My eyes filled with tears.

He looked stricken. I could tell that wasn't something he had thought about. "Mom and Dad wouldn't do that," he said, but he didn't sound very convinced and I knew that we were both thinking the same thing: that image was really important to our parents and this would not reflect very well on either one of them, especially now that Mamo-chan was dead. It would've been different if he'd still been around and could have supported me until we got married, but I would be a single mother. That was bad enough without taking into account the fact that I was living amongst three boys.

"I'd like to think that, too, but you can't be sure," I replied as gently as possible, wiping at my eyes. My family didn't remember who Chibi-Usa was. She had faded from their memories every time she left for the future. I had always been careful to gather up the things she owned or that would give us away, like pictures, and put them in my bedroom where no one would see them. And even if they did remember, they would've known her as my cousin. I couldn't explain how important this child was, but there was no way I was going to let anyone jeopardize its future. "If I wait long enough, at least they can't make me get rid of it."

"But what about adoption?" he asked, looking troubled.

I bit my lip. That was an altogether different situation because I knew that in a normal situation, adoption would probably be the best route for me to take. But I could never let my baby be taken away even if it wasn't Chibi-Usa; this was the last thing I had of Mamo-chan and probably the only daughter or son I would ever have aside from Chibi-Chibi. "If they suggest it, I'll fight them on it," I whispered.

"God," Shingo muttered, rubbing at his forehead. "I knew that there was something up with you, but I never imagined…"

"I know. I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have dumped all this on you."

"It's alright. I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me. And… I won't tell Mom and Dad." Shingo reached out and put his hand over mine. My stomach was still flat, but at that moment it was easy to imagine a few months from now when it would be rounded. "I can tell that you want this, Usagi. I don't know if it's a good idea, but I do think it should be your choice to make."

I hugged him. "Thank you, Shingo."

"You're welcome, but I still think you should tell your friends, especially Seiya. They deserve to know something so important. You_ can_ tell them without letting anyone else know. Maybe they'll be able to think of a way for you guys to present it better to the public."

"I doubt it, but I will think about it," I promised. After all, he had a point. This was huge, and I didn't have a good reason to hide it from them other than fear. I was terrified to know what they would think, if it would mean my chances with Seiya would be over forever. Right now I could still imagine that the two of us could be together, but if I told her and it turned out that she wasn't interested in me anymore for whatever reason, regardless of whether it was the baby, I would have to face that.

"Alright," Shingo said, dropping his arms from me. He sounded doubtful, like he thought I was going to dismiss what he'd said.

"You can tell Mika," I added.

"Really?"

"Yes, as long as you promise she'll keep it to herself. I know what it's like to have to keep secrets in a relationship. It's not a good thing." He watched me curiously at that, but I avoided his gaze. Even if I hadn't consciously faced it at the time, having feelings for Seiya while I was tied to Mamoru had put a strain on me. I could tell that Shingo was serious enough about Mika that I didn't want to put that on him.

"She can," he said. "Thanks."

I watched as he went back into the living room, and a minute later I heard Mika gasping so loud it was audible even over the television. I had to smile as I came in with the drinks and she began asking me a series of excited questions. It was nice to be around someone who was actually excited about the baby, because I had the feeling that most of the reception I was going to get was not going to be good.

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	29. Chapter 29

**A/N:** Enjoy!

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I had fallen asleep on the sofa with Shingo and Mika by the time that the Starlights returned home. I was curled up one side, and Shingo and Mika were all cuddled up on the other, with Luna and Artemis stretched out on the floor in front of us. I startled awake when I felt the hand on my shoulder, and my instinct was to scream before I recognized Seiya's face, leaning over me. She had her finger against her lips in a request for silence. My heart was pounding, but I nodded. I got up, rubbing absently at my neck. It felt like there was a huge knot in the muscle and it ached as I made my way around the end of the couch and followed Seiya into the kitchen.

Chibi-Chibi was the first one to see me. Her face lit up and she toddled over to me, her arms outstretched. I scooped her up, feeling guilty for my anger earlier, and buried my face in her sweet-smelling hair while she wrapped her hands around my neck. I couldn't really blame her for wanting to see Kakyuu, considering that she had protected the princess for as long as she had. I took a minute to collect myself for the conversation that I knew was coming. At last, I pulled my head away and looked at her. "It's past time for you to be in bed," I said.

"I'll take her," Yaten volunteered.

"No," Seiya said. "Just put her down on the couch for now. We can do it in a minute."

I knew what she was thinking. She wanted all of us to be there for the conversation that was about to happen, and I couldn't blame her. It certainly wasn't one I wanted to have more than once. I went back into the living room and set Chibi-Chibi down beside Shingo. Even though he wouldn't have remembered her, she didn't have the same problem. She wasted no time in snuggling up beside him, and within a minute she was out. I lingered for a moment longer and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. There was something deep in my chest that ached when I looked at her, but it was a sweet pain. I wanted to protect Chibi-Chibi from all of the bad things in the world. I didn't know if I would be able to do that, and it hurt.

I couldn't stand there all night, though, and at last I turned away from the sofa and moved towards the back of the apartment. I knew where they would be waiting for me, and I was right. I stepped into Seiya's room and pushed the door closed behind me. Yaten was lying on the bed. She looked exhausted. Taiki was sitting at the end, and Seiya was pacing back and fourth. I surveyed the three of them for a moment before I spoke. "Is that it, then? Has Kakyuu gone into the Galaxy Cauldron?"

"Yes," Taiki said, looking up at me. In the semi-darkness, her face was tired and sad. "She wasn't able to remain with us for very long. Her power was… not strong enough. She did say that when she returned, she would find us."

"I'm sure she will," I said reassuringly, wishing that I could say something better than that. I knew exactly how they were feeling. It was lovely to be able to say good-bye, but it was so hard to be left behind. "If she's reborn soon, it won't be that long before you see her again." Only anywhere from ten years to a lifetime. The thought turned my stomach.

"You left," Seiya said suddenly, cutting off whatever Taiki had been about to say. She was looking at me with wide, pained eyes. "We were looking around for you, and you were just gone."

"Yes, I did." It hurt a little to know that they had been so preoccupied with Kakyuu that they hadn't even noticed me going, but I pushed it aside. Now was not the time to occupy myself with petty bitterness. "I'm sorry if you were worried. But I figured that you would want some time to yourselves to get used to the fact that she was really gone. And frankly, so did I." I realized at that moment that what I was saying was true. I had needed a few minutes to not think about anything relating to the senshi, and that included the Starlights. After spending some time with Unazuki, Shingo and Mika, I felt strangely rejuvenated.

"You could have stayed," she began.

I cut her off. "And listen to you guys talk to Princess Kakyuu about how much you miss her? Sorry, but that's not really my cup of tea." Oops. There might have been a little too much honesty in that. I hurried on. "Look, I had my cell phone with me. It was on. You could've called me, and you must have known through our bond that I was alright. You would've felt it if something was wrong."

"That didn't stop us from being worried," Taiki said gently, her eyes darting between Seiya and me. "Usagi,_ is_ there something wrong? You seem… unusually tense tonight."

I didn't know what made me say it. Maybe it was the talk I'd had earlier with Shingo, or maybe it was the fact that they were all staring at me and I was terrified they would find out too much. In any event, I lifted my chin and I said, very calmly and very clearly, "I'm pregnant."

Dumbfounded silence was the response, which was better than outraged silence. I looked at each of them and met their eyes so that they would see I was telling the truth. "Before you ask, the baby is Mamo-chan's. He visited me in a dream one night just after the battle. I don't know what happened, but we… you know… and I think I wanted it so much that ginzuishou actually made it happen. It made things real enough that I was able to get pregnant even though he wasn't actually here." I touched my locket. The ginzuishou's power was mysterious even to me sometimes. I wondered if they would understand that.

"Is that even possible?" Yaten asked, sitting up on the bed. "How do you know?"

"When I was at the hospital, they gave me a test," I admitted.

Seiya breathed in sharply. "When we left, you were so upset," she said. "I wondered what was wrong. But you said - "

"I know. I'm sorry. I just wasn't ready to tell you. I was completely unprepared for it," I told her. "It shocked me. I've wanted to tell you, but I wasn't sure how. I know it's going to change everything once I can't hide it anymore."

"The media is going to go crazy," Taiki murmured in a sudden burst of understanding. She looked grim. "They're going to be convinced that one of us is the father."

"Exactly," I said, shivering a little at hearing someone else come to the conclusion that had been haunting me for weeks. "I know I should have told you before, but…" I shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself. I felt like I had to try and explain my decision to keep the baby, tell them why I was letting this potentially ruin my life. "I think - there's a chance - it could be Chibi-Usa."

At the sound of the name, Seiya flinched like I'd reached out and hit her. I looked at her desperately, wanting to close the distance between us and hug her, but not certain that I should. "I'm sorry," I said, knowing that the words were a paltry offer considering the life-changing information that I was dealing out to them. "I can't know for sure, but..."

"But if there's a chance, you have to see it through," Taiki filled in, and when I looked at her, her face was filled with sympathy. "We understand."

Do you? I felt like asking, even though I knew that I couldn't. Taiki might, and maybe even Yaten would, but I wasn't at all confident that Seiya was going to. I stared at her, yearning for some sort of sign that she was okay with this, but she wasn't looking at me. She was staring out the window with a vacant look in her eyes, and I knew that she wasn't even here in the room with us. I clenched my hands into fists and took a deep breath, fighting to keep my composure as I looked back at Yaten and Taiki. The two of them were watching me, waiting for whatever I was going to say next.

"I'm not telling you this so that I can put a bunch of extra pressure on you," I said. "Like you said, the media is going to go insane once they find out, and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to hide it. Sooner or later, I'll begin to show and it will be obvious."

"We'll think of something," Taiki said, though it was clear she had no idea what. I knew that this wasn't the time to share the idea of me leaving. It would only get them even more upset, especially when they would be feeling even more obligated towards me in light of Princess Kakyuu's disappearance. No, I would keep that to myself until I knew whether it was the only option. There was, however, something more important that I had to talk to them about.

"Rubeus was part of the Black Moon Family. They originally came here to the past so that they could hunt down Chibi-Usa and the ginzuishou she'd stolen." I cleared my throat. Just saying this was enough to make my hands shake. No battle was more terrifying to me than when my daughter was involved. I'd always done everything I could to make sure Chibi-Usa was safe, even if it meant sacrificing my own life. But this time, I couldn't do that. I didn't know how to protect her and it scared me. "He knows who she is. If he finds out I'm pregnant, he'll be even more determined to kill me so that she won't be born."

That seemed to jolt Seiya out of whatever daze she had fallen into. She turned to face me. "That won't happen," she said, reaching out for my hands. I allowed her to take them and was surprised by how warm and soft her grip was. "We'll protect you, Odango. Both of you."

My eyes filled with tears. It felt so good to hear someone say that, even if I knew that promise could very well be filled only at the cost of their lives. I would never let that happen, but I loved her all the more for saying it in the first place. "I'm sorry," I choked out. "I should have told you sooner."

"Shh, it's okay." She pulled me closer and slipped her arms around my waist. I wrapped my hands around her back and pressed my face against her shoulder, trembling all over. I felt her place a kiss on the top of my head, and then a moment later there was additional warmth at my back and on either side, and two more sets of arms were being woven around us. I hadn't felt that safe for a very long time, and at that moment it was exactly what I needed. I wanted to stay there forever.

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	30. Chapter 30

**A/N:** Enjoy!

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It was late. I probably should have been in bed, but I wasn't. Yaten and Taiki had fallen asleep not that long ago, after I had finished telling them everything I knew about Crystal Tokyo, the Doom Phantom, and the Black Moon Family. I was tired, but I couldn't sleep and I knew exactly why. Seiya wasn't in bed with us. She was standing out on the balcony, looking up at the night sky. It seemed to be a source of comfort for her. It occurred to me, as I slipped out of the bed, to wonder if she was searching for the planet of Kinmoku, even though I didn't think she'd be able to see it from Earth.

I pushed the balcony doors open and stepped outside. The moon wasn't visible tonight, but there were loads of stars out. I felt their twinkling presence calming something restless inside of me as I moved to stand beside Seiya. She didn't acknowledge me, not at first, but I was okay with that. It was enough to just stand there with her and know that the secrets between us were mostly diminished. The only thing I had held back was my love for her, and that was something I thought I could go my whole life without sharing if I had to as long as I had the opportunity to have Seiya with me.

"It's beautiful," Seiya said unexpectedly, and I jumped. I wasn't expecting her to say anything. I looked at her and realized that she was still gazing at the sky.

"It is," I agreed. She seemed so fascinated. "Didn't you get to see it on Kinmoku?"

"Sometimes," she said hesitantly. "Healer and Maker and I were usually quite busy. We spent most of our time with Princess Kakyuu. We slept when she did, so usually we didn't get the chance to see the night sky. And of course, it looked different. Our sky isn't quite the same color, and the stars don't show up as well."

"I wish I could have seen it," I said. I couldn't even imagine it. Seiya had shown me fleeting glimpses of their world when she explained what had happened with Galaxia, but images of a war torn planet are a far cry from the place she was describing. Kinmoku was the world that had given me these three wonderful people who were so important to me. I yearned to know more about it.

Seiya looked at me. "You still could, if you wanted. Princess Kakyuu said that Galaxia left before she destroyed it entirely."

"Really?" The idea surprised me. I hadn't thought about visiting Kinmoku before, not even when I thought that they would be leaving. But she was right, wasn't she? Kinmoku was still there, though likely it had grown wild in the absence of life. I wondered what the planet would like now, if it would be anything close to what they remembered. I wasn't sure a visit was such a good idea. What if Kakyuu was wrong and Chaos had ruined everything? That would be devastating.

"Yes. It would be up to you, of course," she added quickly. "Maybe not right now, not until Rubeus is dealt with and the baby…" She dropped her eyes to my stomach and then lifted them to my face. I could tell that she was still having a hard time believing that I was pregnant.

"I'd like that," I said after a moment, picturing Chibi-Usa crawling amongst a field of wildly colored flowers. "Would you go with me?"

"Of course." Seiya smiled. "Like I'd let you go anywhere on your own."

"If you weren't with me, I wouldn't want to go anywhere," I said quietly. "But with you, I don't think there is anywhere I wouldn't go."

Seiya didn't say anything for a minute. Finally, she said, "Odango…"

The sound of her voice, the way she said my name, flustered me. I looked away quickly and clasped my hands together. "Well, you know, we'll have plenty of time. Now that Crystal Tokyo isn't possible anymore, who knows what will happen in the future?"

"You don't know that it won't happen," Seiya said after a pause, and I was relieved that she had agreed to let what I had said go for the time being. "After all, you're still here."

"But it was Mamo-chan's and my marriage that brought Crystal Tokyo into being. Without him..." I trailed off and shrugged my shoulders. To be honest, the idea of not having Crystal Tokyo was both thrilling and terrifying. On the one hand, I no longer knew what was going to happen. My comfortable, idealistic future where no one would ever be hurt had been taken away. Now the future was a completely open possibility. But on the other hand, the fact that I didn't _have_ to become Queen was compelling. I could do whatever I wanted, be whoever I liked, and not have to worry that I might be seriously screwing the future up.

"I think you could do it on your own," she said. "But if that's not what you really want, you don't have to do that. As long as you were here to keep protecting the world, that's what really matters."

I smiled up at her. I'd known that the Starlights would not force me to become Queen if I didn't want to, but it was still good to hear. "I really am sorry, you know," I said, watching her fond expression change to one of puzzlement. She cocked her head questioningly and I continued, "I knew that it would be a big shock to tell you about the baby. I shouldn't have blurted it out the way I did, especially not after you just came from saying good-bye to your princess. You've had an emotional day and I probably didn't help."

"It was a shock," Seiya admitted. "But I'm glad you told us. Odango, that's not the sort of thing you should have to worry about on your own." She put her hand over mine, and the pressure was warm and comforting. "We're here for you, you know. You're not alone."

The lump forming in my throat hurt. "I do know that."

"And," she went on, "I feel like I should let you know that at this moment, there is no where I would rather be." I looked up at her in surprise, and she smiled tiredly. "When our princess first returned to us while we were fighting against Galaxia, before all of this happened, I knew what that meant. After Galaxia was defeated, I would've returned to Kinmoku because it's where we belonged, what we had to do. I've always known that my life was to be spent serving Princess Kakyuu and I was okay with that. But… a part of my heart would have remained here on Earth with you. I love this planet. It's a magical place, and it taught me many things. Even though I miss Kinmoku and our princess, I am happy here, Usagi. We all are."

It took me a minute to be able to speak after hearing that. The sincerity in Seiya's words was easing a worry I'd carried around for a long time. I didn't want her, Yaten and Taiki to just settle for Earth. I did want them to be happy here. Even though I knew they would still rather be on Kinmoku, I liked the idea that maybe someday they would come to view Earth as home. "I'm happy to hear that," I replied at last. "There's nothing I want more than for you guys to be happy."

"I know." She squeezed my hand. "And I… I don't want you to think that you are just a replacement for our princess, because you're not. You're much more than that."

God, it was like Seiya could see straight through me into the places that I most wanted to hide. It made me feel lightheaded, the depths of her caring, and I let out a shaky sigh. "The same goes for you guys. I don't want to be here with you just because the senshi are gone. You're my friends."

"I know," she repeated. "I've never doubted that."

I want you to be more. I wondered what she would say if I told her that. I swallowed. I was going to say something else, and I would have had it not been for the sound of an explosion. It was a weird explosion, soundless but so bright, flashing across the sky in arches of multi-colored light. There was a heavy pressure in the air that made it hard to breathe. At the same time a fierce wind picked up, whipping my hair around my face. I reached up, grabbing fistfuls of blonde and yanking it away so that I could see what was going on. My mouth dropped open. It was a familiar sight, but that made it no less bizarre.

It was a spaceship, and it was enormous, spanning the sky so widely that I wouldn't have been able to see the moon even if it had been out. I stared in disbelief and heard a lot of people screaming and gasping in amazement and shock. Behind us, the balcony doors flew open and Yaten, Taiki, Mika, Shingo, Chibi-Chibi, Luna and Artemis all spilled out onto the deck with us, demanding to know what was going on. There wasn't nearly enough room for everyone, and I winced as Luna and Artemis climbed my legs so that they could perch on my shoulders.

"What is that?" Seiya exclaimed.

"It's Rubeus," I said hoarsely, knowing that my worst fears were being confirmed. The last time I'd seen that ship, it had taken the senshi away from me. Chibi-Usa and I had been forced to go onboard to save them. I knew that it had been destroyed… or well, I thought it was. It had been on fire, at least. But Rubeus had survived, and he had either saved his ship or built a perfect replica.

Somewhere in this city, I thought a little hysterically, the Ayakashi sisters were probably looking out their window at that ship and remembering some awful times, and probably hating me for not having taken care of Rubeus by now. I clenched my hands into fists and resolutely did not flinch as a huge hologram of Rubeus's face appeared over the face of the spaceship. The side of the ship was acting like a screen, I realized. It wasn't the real Rubeus at all, which meant that it would be pointless to attack. I already knew from experience that the ship had a ton of defense shields that would make any attack bounce off harmlessly.

"Citizens of Tokyo," Rubeus said. His voice was so loud it made my ears ache. "I know that you are listening. This precious city of yours, I will destroy it if you don't give me Sailor Moon. You may believe that she can save you, but what has she done to protect you against me so far? She was only able to seal me away for a few years, but I have now returned. And unless you are willing to hand her over to me…" His face split into a wicked smile, and a strange shimmer passed over the ship.

"Get down!" I yelled, knowing what was about to happen. I ducked as best I could, shielding my face and head with my hands. I couldn't stop myself from watching, though, as a beam of dark magic leapt from one of the points. What was directly beneath it exploded, leaving behind only rubble and fire where a building had once stood.

"You've been warned. I want Sailor Moon. You've got one week," Rubeus concluded, and then he and the whole miserable ship vanished.

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Please review!


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N:** Enjoy!

**Note:** There will be no update next week, March 8th 2013, as I am moving to a new apartment (my first time!) and won't have the time. You can check my profile for updates.

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How I fell asleep that night, I'll never know. But I might as well have just stayed awake for all the good it did me. I woke up the next morning feeling even more exhausted than when I'd gone to bed. All night I'd had horrible nightmares about what Rubeus might do to Tokyo. I knew there was no line that he wouldn't cross. We would be fortunate if all he did was level the city, and my dreams had given me far worse ideas about what he could do. Finally, after hours of tossing and turning, I dragged myself out of bed at seven that morning and went to wash my face. I got dressed in my uniform and wandered out to the kitchen. Mika was gone, but Shingo was still there, sitting at the kitchen table. I was surprised to see him.

"Don't you have to get to school?" I asked him. I shuffled across to the fridge and opened the door, hoping that breakfast would magically fall out. No such luck.

"I do, but I had to talk to you first. I don't care if I'm a little late," Shingo said. There was something weird about his voice. It was enough to make me turn around and take more notice. Like I said, he was at the table and his hands were tightly fisted in his lap. When he looked up at me, I was struck by the amount of worry in his expression. He was genuinely frightened.

"Shingo, you don't have to be scared by what that guy said last night," I said. It was the only thing I could think of that might be concerning him so much. "I bet that he'll be stopped before he can do anything."

"That's what worries me," Shingo replied. "I'm worried that you're going to do something stupid like give yourself up to him."

My stomach did a weird little flip that had nothing to do with the baby. "Me?" I said with a nervous laugh. "Oh, come on Shingo, I hardly think that he would be interested in someone like me."

Shingo shook his head. "Let's not, okay?" he said quietly. "I know that you're Sailor Moon."

It felt like the world had fallen out from underneath me, and it was good that there was a chair close by because I practically collapsed into it. My heart was pounding and my mind felt totally blank. I knew I should've been saying or doing something to convince him that he was wrong, but to be honest I felt frozen. I'd never been openly confronted by anyone in my family who professed to know my identity. Sure, I knew that there were people who knew - Motoki, for one, and I thought Unazuki might too, and Rei's grandfather, and possibly Ami's mother - but it was a whole other story to be _faced_ with it. I wanted to ask Shingo how he'd found out, I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't say anything.

"Nee-chan, breathe!" Shingo said, looking alarmed. He hurried over to the fridge, which was still hanging wide open, and removed a carton of orange juice. He poured me a tall glass and held it up in front of me. I stared at it for a couple of seconds before I remembered what it was for. The juice was sweet and fruity, and it shocked me back to my senses. I drained half the glass before gently pushing his hand away.

"You know," I said, just to be sure.

"Yes," Shingo confirmed, setting the glass down on the table. Seemingly sensing that I needed more details, he continued, "I've known for a while now to be honest. You knew I idolized Sailor Moon. I read all of the newspaper articles about her and the senshi, even examined all of the pictures that I could get my hands on." He smiled faintly. "Frankly, I'm surprised more people haven't picked up on it. I guess they just don't realize that you are a hero."

My throat felt tight. That had always been one of my very best disguises, the fact that no one thought crybaby Tsukino Usagi would ever be capable of being the heroine Sailor Moon. I picked up the glass and drank the rest to keep myself from crying. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

He shrugged. "It never seemed to be necessary. I figured it out about a year ago, and I thought that as long as you never did anything too dangerous there was no point in me mentioning it to you." He fixed me with a look that indicated he felt I had now crossed that line. "But I _know _you, Usagi. I saw the look on your face last night. You can't give yourself over to this guy. If he kills you, what do you think will happen to the Earth? There won't be anyone who is capable of protecting us the way that you can."

I wanted to argue, but the awful thing was I knew he was right. "But he'll destroy the city if I don't," I whispered.

"I'm sure you can think of some way to stop him. You have friends, right? Those other senshi? If you put your strength together, your sacrifice wouldn't be necessary!"

His words struck a chord in me. I had said the exact same thing to Haruka and Michiru not that long ago, when I was begging them to understand that the owner of the pure heart crystals did not need to die. I closed my eyes and smiled. "Maybe you're right, Shingo," I said softly, not entirely willing to concede that fast. Giving myself up might be the only way. "But I have to do _something_. I can't stand idly by and let Rubeus do whatever he wants. My job is to protect this world and the people who live here." I looked up at him, willing him to understand.

Shingo studied me for a moment. "Why you?" he asked finally. "Why not someone else?"

"Oh, that's a long story," I said. A story I wasn't sure he was ready to hear. The idea of the Moon Kingdom and reincarnation was hard enough for people who were intimately familiar with magic to swallow. I had_ lived_ it and I sometimes still had trouble believing it. "Just - it had to be me, okay? I was born for this, Shingo. It's my destiny." And oh, I hoped Shingo would never understand how much I had come to loathe that word.

"Alright, I'll buy that. But I won't let you do anything stupid," he said. There was something in his face that at first I couldn't place, something I didn't recognize even though it was familiar to me. Then I realized what it was. Painful determination. "Promise me you won't give yourself over."

I frowned, subjecting him to the same scrutiny he'd just given me. There was more going on here then Shingo was letting on. "Why the sudden need to talk about this now?" I asked. "You know that I'm smarter than that. I wouldn't give in to Rubeus's demands right away, not unless I thought there I had to. Why would you let me know that you know I'm Sailor Moon unless you had to?"

Now it was his turn to look away from me. It was only for a second, and then he took a deep breath and glanced back at me. Without saying a word, he reached out and took my hand. He pulled me out of the chair and I followed him into the living room, watching in confusion as he reached out and turned the television on. It only took me a minute to understand what he was unwilling to tell me, and when I did my mouth dropped open and I could only stare in speechless silence.

The channel he had flipped to was the one for the news, and up until now the main story had been the recovery efforts. But now there was a huge banner running across the screen that said "Who is Sailor Moon?" in large block letters. At the bottom of the screen was a phone number. Shingo turned the volume up just in time for us to hear, "- police are saying that there are currently very few leads as to the identity of Sailor Moon. In light of recent events, they are offering a substantial reward for anyone who is willing to step forward with information that leads to her identity being found."

"At this point we just want to talk to the woman known as Sailor Moon." The abrupt switch to a familiar man, Police Chief Nakamura Okito, made me jump. "For far too long the Tokyo police department has been operating in the dark, and it's time that we understood what it is going on before anyone else is hurt or worse. We would like to make it clear to the public that we are not bringing charges against Sailor Moon right now; we have some questions that we need answered and she is the only one who can do that. We have crime scene technicians investigating footage, but at a time like this everyone needs to pull together and do what they can.

"So I'm asking you to keep your eyes open and report any suspicious activity. Do not try to apprehend Sailor Moon or any other senshi, but call the police if you see her. We _are_ offering a reward for information leading to her whereabouts, and add that it's possible anyone who is helping to hide her could be charged with a crime at a later date. This is the safety of our city that is at stake, and I think -"

Shingo muted the television. Chief Nakamura continued to speak, but now I couldn't hear anything. It was just as well. There was a dull roaring in my ears. For the second time that morning, I sat down not because I wanted to but because my legs would no longer hold me up. I'd always wondered, privately, if this day might come, if the people of Tokyo would get curious about the heroes that defended their town and want to know more about us. But I had never imagined that it might turn into some sort of citywide manhunt.

"They might be telling the truth," Shingo said when he saw the look on my face. "Maybe they do only want you for questioning. But I thought it was better for you to know just in case. People are going to be watching closely from now on. There're an awful lot of people who could really use that reward money."

I nodded numbly, knowing what he meant. The next time I had to transform, I was going to have to be extremely careful about where I did it. In the past I'd been able to take the occasional chance, but I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd even have to be more careful about what I talked about in public. The senshi and I had sometimes discussed things we probably shouldn't have, never thinking that someone might be listening. Shingo was right: there was going to be a lot of scrutiny over the next few days, and as we got closer to the end of the week more people would start to panic. God. This was going to be a total nightmare.

"Thank you for showing me this," I said roughly. As hard as it was to watch, I much preferred to see it here rather than be exposed to it on my way to school.

"Are you okay?" Shingo asked quietly.

I stared at him and felt the sudden urge to laugh hysterically. One of my oldest, most deadly enemies had managed to turn my whole town against me in the span of one night. I was not _okay_. I might never be _okay_ again. But I couldn't tell him that. I just nodded and forced a smile. "I'm fine."

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Please review!


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N:** I hope no one minds this chapter. It's probably edging up there in terms of the rating, but - it is what it is, and I'll say no more. Enjoy!

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I saw Shingo off with the most cheerful smile that I could muster. Much to my relief he seemed to take it at face value, and I waited a full minute after the door had closed before I allowed my smile to fade. I was sure the expression on my face looked awful at that moment, but I couldn't keep myself composed anymore. I wanted to run out of the apartment, but I realized that I no longer dared. I felt like stepping outside would make me vulnerable, that I would run the risk of there being some invisible sign on my forehead that proclaimed me as Sailor Moon. It was a horrible feeling, especially when I didn't know what would happen if my identity was found out. Would they really just ask me questions, or would this world I had fought so hard for turn me over without a second thought?

By the time I reached Seiya's door, I was crying. The tears were rolling down my face silently. I could hear sounds behind Taiki's and Yaten's doors that meant they were up and getting dressed, but as I suspected Seiya was still in bed. She was always the last one up, and getting her going usually involved Taiki and a cold glass of water. I pushed her door open and looked inside the darkened room. The only sign that Seiya was in there was the big lump of rolled up covers right in the middle of the bed, but I knew it was her. I crept across the floor and crawled onto the free side of the bed, resting my head on my hands. I was only there for a few seconds before the blankets shifted and parted, allowing me entrance.

"What's wrong?" Seiya said, her voice thick and hazy with sleep as I scooted over next to her. I shook my head and pressed myself against her, breathing in her sleep-warm scent. She was wearing a tank top and a pair of panties, and her skin was heated everywhere that we touched. It felt so good. I tucked my face into the curve of her neck and shoulder and stayed there until I felt her hand come to rest on the top of my head, her fingers combing lazily through my hair. Though her breathing deepened, I knew she was not asleep. She was waiting for me to answer.

"Everyone is looking for me," I revealed at last, shivering. Even though it was warm under the covers, I couldn't seem to stop feeling chilled. "Shingo showed me the news program. Everyone in town wants to know who Sailor Moon is!"

Seiya didn't say anything for a long moment, long enough for me to wonder if maybe she had fallen asleep after all. Then she sighed against the top of my head and said, "I thought this might happen."

"You did? Why didn't you tell me?"

"And let you worry about it all night?" she said wryly. "I know you better than that, Odango. You would've stayed up for hours wondering if there was going to be some sort of manhunt for you, and I didn't know if it was actually going to happen. It seems that I was right, though." She sighed. "People are the same no matter what world they come from. In the end, they all want to save themselves no matter what that means for the people they have to step on in the process."

I thought about that. It wasn't right that we should all be so callous. I wanted to live in a world where everyone could band together, where people would understand that it was much better to put our strength together instead of standing apart. "That's not right," I said, my voice shaking. "I want to protect everyone. I will, if they give me the chance. Why can't they let me try?"

"I don't know," Seiya said quietly. "They wouldn't let Princess Kakyuu try, either."

I opened my eyes at that and looked up at her. I was gradually getting used to the darkness, and now I could make out her face. Her eyes were shut and her lips were pressed tightly together. Obviously she was remembering something that was painful. It probably wasn't my place to be nosy, but I felt that I had to ask. "What do you mean?"

"We knew that Galaxia would be coming for our planet. She didn't make any attempt to mask the order that she was going in, and it was obvious to anyone who bothered to do the calculations that we would be next. Some people left for planets that they deemed safer, hoping that Galaxia would be stopped before she got any further. I don't think any of them came as far as Earth, though, so I doubt they survived either." She paused and then sighed heavily. "Princess Kakyuu did not want to stand down. She wanted to fight Galaxia. She was convinced that if everyone on all of the planets around us stood together, we could win. But her advisors on Kinmoku refused to let her try. They forced her to leave, and we had to follow."

I studied her face, trying to decide what she was thinking. "In the end, you did the right thing," I said finally. "You guys wouldn't have been strong enough to bring down Galaxia. You know that, don't you? You would have died, just like everyone else, and she would have come to Earth and destroyed us all."

"I know." Seiya finally opened her eyes and gave me a thin smile. "I do know that, Odango, believe me. But I'll never forget the look on Princess Kakyuu's face when she realized that she would have to abandon her planet. She was heartbroken, and I think she went a little - well. As the hands of Chaos approached she left without us after a fight, and we had to chase after her. In our absence, Galaxia destroyed the planet."

"I'm sorry," I said. The words seemed inadequate in the face of everything that they had gone through. I thought I knew then what was really bothering Seiya. She and Yaten and Taiki all felt guilty for having left their planet to be destroyed, and no matter how many times I pointed out that ultimately that decision had saved us all it would not help. In their eyes, in their hearts, they still felt like they should have done more to save Kinmoku. It was something I had struggled with myself before.

Seiya ran her fingers through my hair again and pressed her face to the top of my head. "We won't stop you fighting, but I need you to be careful," she said clearly. "You're all we've got left, Odango. I couldn't bear it if we lost you too."

My eyes filled with tears. "I'll try not to let that happen," I promised. It wasn't what she wanted to hear, I knew, but it was the only truth I could give her. Because I would gladly sacrifice myself to save the Earth and the rest of the world, and I knew that Seiya knew it. If I had to kill myself to make sure that Rubeus went down with me, then so be it.

She looked at me like she knew exactly what I was thinking, but to my relief she didn't try to press the issue. She squeezed my hands and kissed me again, this time on my cheek, before she let go and rolled off of the bed. I knew that I had to get up, but I stayed where I was for a minute longer. I touched the spot where she'd kissed me and took a shaky breath. Under the covers the bed smelled like Seiya, a little bit like olive flowers and vanilla ice cream and her body wash, honey and citrus. It was a scent that was becoming very familiar to me, one that I took comfort in. Was now the right time?

"Seiya," I said, pushing the covers back and sitting up. Even though I knew it was crazy, I was seized with the urge to tell her how I felt.

"Your hair is a mess," she said. She was watching me in the mirror, and she was smiling. I tried to smile back, but honestly it was like all of the words that had been in my mind had diappeared because at that moment she took off her tank top. She wasn't wearing a bra underneath, so I got a good look at her breasts as she reached for her underwear drawer. Larger than mine, her skin was supple and tanned, and I nearly swallowed my tongue at the sight of two pert nipples.

It was the first time that I had consciously acknowledged that I could definitely be aroused by a woman. I'd never really put much thought into before. Of course I'd had Mamo-chan, and there had never been a reason for me to. Haruka had been attractive, but I wouldn't have called her beautiful. Seiya was beautiful. She was only wearing panties, and I wanted to get up and touch her. I ached to put my hands on her, to know in detail exactly how her skin would feel beneath my fingers, and I wanted her to touch me in return. I thought about doing that, wanted it so much my hands were shaking, and felt my face flush.

"Are you alright?" she asked, turning to face me as she hooked her bra on. She did it so expertly it was hard to believe she had been living as a man for months.

"I'm fine," I said. My mouth had gone very dry, because somehow she looked even sexier in just her underwear now that I knew what was underneath. How would she react, I wondered, if I went over and kissed her? If I tangled my hands into her gorgeous hair and pulled our bodies together and oh god just the idea was enough to make me realize I was going to need a fresh pair of knickers.

She frowned, not looking entirely convinced, but turned away to grab one of the uniforms. I closed my eyes and tried desperately to calm myself down. Okay, if I ever had cause to doubt whether or not I was bisexual that had answered it. I'd never reacted that way around a woman before, but there was no mistaking it now. I crawled off of the bed and made my escape while she was bent over searching for a skirt (and yes, I took a peek at her ass as I went by and yes, it was amazing). I could hear Yaten and Taiki out in the kitchen with Chibi-Chibi, so I darted into my bedroom and shut the door.

God, I wasn't going to have to worry about Rubeus at this rate. Sexual frustration was going to kill me first. I pressed my head back against the door and tried to calm my pounding heart. It wasn't working. Why couldn't I just gather my courage together and tell her? Now that she was in possession of all the facts I knew whatever answer she gave me would be an honest one. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it no matter how frustrated it made me. Maybe Minako was right, and I was afraid of rejection. I was just being a coward.

I closed my eyes in the hopes that it would help, but all I could see was Seiya. Whimpering, I sank to the ground and, after one last furtive look around, slipped my hand between my thighs. I was so wound up that it didn't take very long at all before I was shivering and gasping, my body trembling and collapsing weakly against the door. I knew I had to do something about things between us soon, because I wasn't sure how much longer I could handle this.

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Please review!


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N:** Thank you for the comments! Enjoy.

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I went to school. What else could I do? Though really, it was pointless for me to have done so because I didn't take in a single thing that any of my teachers said. Most of it passed over my head in a blur. All I really found that I could focus on was Seiya and the fact that the number one topic of conversation was Sailor Moon's identity. Literally, it seemed to be the only thing that anyone was willing to talk about. I heard dozens of different theories being tossed around, ranging from Sailor Moon was an otherworldly being who only appeared when people needed help (sort of true) to Sailor Moon didn't exist at all, she was just a figment of everyone's imaginations (I had no clue where that one came from).

If it hadn't been for the fact that they were all talking about me, I might have thought it amusing. I might have even joined in. As it was, I felt like I was walking around on eggshells. I was convinced that the next person who looked at me might suddenly realize that I was Sailor Moon and turn me in. I'd never felt that way before, and it was not a good feeling. I was very conscious of the fact that I was not the same as everyone else around me. I was different. I was, technically, wanted by the police. It wasn't like I was a criminal, but somehow "wanted for questioning" felt like it came awfully close.

The other thing I noticed was the absence of the other senshi had not been missed, and if I thought the rumors about Sailor Moon were crazy the ones trying to explain their disappearances were truly over the top. It amazed me what people could come up with. During break, I heard one girl trying to convince everyone that the senshi had had a huge fight, and that was why the others weren't around. She said that the senshi had disbanded, and that the others were working to bring down Sailor Moon through the 'weird guy in the sky' because she was such a tyrant. I almost laughed at that, if only because I desperately wished it was the truth. Other people were much closer than they realized, speculating that the senshi had died in the battle and Sailor Moon was the only survivor.

The whole day left me with a tension in my shoulders that I could not get rid of. It was not helped when I walked out of school at the end of the day and saw that the Ayakashi Sisters were waiting for me. After over a year on Earth they were good at blending in, but there was something about them that drew my attention immediately. I stopped when I saw the four of them, wondering if this was a confrontation I really wanted to have. Seiya was just inside the doors talking to a teacher. I could've stepped back inside and got her. But I didn't. I squared my shoulders and walked over to them slowly.

Petz saw me coming first. She straightened up and charged over to me, meeting me halfway. "What is the _matter_ with you?" she demanded, making no effort to keep her voice down. A few students who were heading home turned and looked at us and I winced. "You were supposed to get rid of Rubeus, not make him threaten the whole planet! Why haven't you destroyed him yet? What are you waiting for?"

"First of all, keep your voice down," I said, deliberately keeping my tone calm. It was something that I had learned from Michiru. No matter how angry she got, she always kept her voice low and composed. It usually had the effect of making her sound even more frightening than if she'd been yelling, and it made people pay more attention. "If you want me to be able to stop him, you have to help me keep it a secret from the rest of Tokyo. Second of all, you're acting like I'm taking my time on purpose. Rubeus isn't exactly an easy opponent to beat, you know. It took everything Chibi-Usa and I had to take him down, and he's a lot stronger this time."

"She doesn't mean it that way," Berthier said. By that time, the other three sisters had caught up to us. It was nice of her to say, even if it obviously wasn't true, and I raised an eyebrow. "She's just - worried, that's all. Seeing Rubeus in the sky last night really freaked us all out."

I softened. I couldn't help it. "I know, and I'm sorry. Believe me, it's not like I don't want to get rid of him. If I had my way, he'd be moon dust by now."

Calaveras gave me a knowing look. "He really got under your skin, didn't he?"

"Of course he did. He's threatening to out her to everyone," said Koan, examining her nails idly. "Do you know, I passed by the police station this morning and there was a whole line up of people waiting to give information on Sailor Moon. I even saw the cops bringing in a young girl who was wearing her hair tied up in odango, and she wasn't even blonde."

"They _what_?" I gasped, stunned, and she nodded.

"I doubt they'll keep her for long. Obviously, since she's not Sailor Moon, they'll have to let her go," she said.

I wasn't so sure about that. Granted most of my experience with the police came from the occasional late night drama I'd caught on television, but I knew what people could do when they were driven to desperation. Yes, that girl probably would be let go at some point. But it was only the beginning of the week. As we got closer to Rubeus's deadline, people would start throwing out more suspicions and more girls would fall under scrutiny. I was suddenly relieved that I no longer wore my hair in odango. It would've been a dead giveaway. And I was sorry that there were so many girls out there who had picked up on the hairstyle after seeing Sailor Moon doing it.

""You have to do something about this," Petz said, watching me closely. "I know you like to think the best of everyone, but let me tell you what's going to happen. It won't just be innocent girls who are suspected of being Sailor Moon. Someone is going to point the finger at you too before long."

"They will not!"

"Oh really? I know that there are people who know who you are. Even if you manage to convince them all to stay silent, you wore your hair in odango for years. God, you even gave your _child_ the same hairstyle. You used to hang out in the company of four girls who match the basic descriptions of the inner senshi, four girls who aren't around anymore and haven't been since the final battle. All it's going to take is one person to put two and two together and realize that when Sailor Moon is around, you weren't. What's going to happen when you get called in for questioning? Are you going to lie to the police?"

I stared at her, sweating. Now that she said it, it sounded so obvious that I couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to me before now. The girls and I hadn't exactly been careful about protecting our identities, trusting in the magic and the fact that no one had ever pushed the issue to protect us. "What are you suggesting that I do?" I asked finally, my voice coming out strangled.

"You have to deal with Rubeus before the deadline," Berthier replied. She made it sound like it would be as easy as flipping a switch. "You don't have to be that worried about it. Rubeus is strong, but I think you're more powerful than he is."

"How would you know? You haven't been around him for months," Koan said.

Berthier scowled. "I _know_. Unlike you three, I actually paid attention to what he did instead of spending all my time falling all over him." She folded her arms and sniffed. "He talks a big game, but I've been watching the newspapers, keeping track of his appearances. Every time he gets into a fight with Sailor Moon, he's always the one who runs away in the end. If he really thought he could win, he would have by now. But he can't. That's why he's issued this ultimatum. He's hoping to put you into a spot where you have no choice but to give up."

"Wow, Berthier," Calaveras said, sounding impressed. "I had no idea you were paying so much attention."

"One of us had to be," Berthier muttered.

"Odango!"

The familiar voice had me turning before I'd fully registered it. Seiya jogged over to me, frowning when she realized who was standing there with me. Before she could speak, I said, "Seiya, these are the Ayakashi Sisters. Petz, Calaveras, Berthier, and Koan, and girls, this is Kou Seiya, member of the Three Lights."

Koan actually smiled. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," Seiya said shortly before looking at me. I read the question in her eyes and smiled weakly, knowing that she was worried.

"It's okay," I said. I'd told them about the Ayakashi Sisters, how the ginzuishou had purged them of the darkness Nemesis and the Death Phantom had flourished in their hearts, but I knew that Seiya and the others didn't trust them. And for good reason: they hadn't seen how different the sisters were now. "They were just telling me that I have to do something about Rubeus soon."

Seiya scowled. "Why don't they do something to help if they're so worried?"

"Like what? We're just normal human beings now," said Petz. There was something in her voice that caught my attention and I turned towards her, realization hitting me hard.

"You're _afraid_," I breathed. I didn't know why that surprised me so much, but it did. I guess that Petz had always seemed so strong, so unbreakable. All of the sisters did. But now I was looking at them with fresh eyes, and I knew that what I'd said was true. You could see it in the tense way they were standing, in how their eyes wouldn't quite meet mine. Rubeus didn't know that they were still here in Tokyo. He knew that I'd healed them, but unless he had purposely sought them out he wouldn't know their exact location. And I knew that all four of them were terrified that he would find out and want revenge for the fact that they had betrayed him by switching sides and ultimately allowing him to be beaten.

"No, we're not," Petz said, but her voice lacked any real conviction and I knew I was right.

"Yes, you are. But you don't have to be," I told them. I was suddenly possessed with the urge to try and hug them, to stroke their heads and let each woman know that I would do everything I could to protect them. I kept my distance only because I wasn't sure that they would be receptive to that kind of attention.

Petz just shook her head. "Whatever you're going to do, make sure you do it fast," she said.

"Petz, wait -" It was pointless, I knew as soon as I'd spoken. Petz was already turning away, and she was ushering her sisters ahead of her like she thought Rubeus was going to come down from the sky and kill them just for standing near me.

"Odango?" Seiya said.

I turned around and looked at her, still feeling stricken. "I have to kill Rubeus. Now."

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Please review!


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:** Thank you for the reviews! Enjoy!

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Seiya didn't take too kindly to my announcement. I wasn't sure what disturbed her more, my determination or the fact that I had said 'I'. The whole way home, I knew that we were going to have to talk about it; I had to explain. I_ had_ to go after Rubeus. Waiting until the deadline just wasn't feasible, because who knew if Rubeus would suddenly get bored or decide that he didn't want to wait? He could start trying to destroy Tokyo at any time that he wanted, and I, better than anyone, knew what Rubeus could do when he felt like he was cornered. We had to get to him before then.

It was just the two of us that day, since Yaten and Taiki were staying later after school and then picking Chibi-Chibi up. I suspected that their plan had been to give me and Seiya some time alone. The tension had been crackling between us this morning, and I guessed that they had picked up on it even if Seiya seemed to be carefully oblivious. It would have been better if they'd been there, I could have used the back up, but I knew that this was something I had to do on my own. It was a struggle to stay quiet until we were safely back in the apartment.

"I know that you're worried about me," I said as soon as the door was closed. "I know you don't like the thought of me fighting him. I understand that. I do. But I can't let him do whatever he wants. Rubeus threatened Tokyo once before and I stopped him. I know what he's like. The longer we wait the more chance that he's going to start throwing magic around. The city is only just starting to get back to normal, Seiya. It's going to take years to recover as it is. They don't need anything else to deal with."

"I know. I know. I've been thinking about all of that too. But it still doesn't make me like it," Seiya replied. "He could kill you."

"I could also get hit by a car on my way to school," I told her as gently as I could. She still winced. "I can't stop doing things just because I'm scared of what's going to happen. I'm worried about the town, about what this whole search for Sailor Moon thing is going to do. Right now you can tell it's starting to tear people apart. They're bringing in random young girls for questioning, even." My stomach hurt at the thought. "Petz pointed out, and she was right, that someone could even point the finger at me. Anyone who was paying attention to us over the years could suspect the truth and bring it to the attention of the authorities."

"What would they do?" she asked.

I had to stop and think about it before I could reply. It was questions like these that reminded me how unfamiliar the Starlights were with Earth. "Well… not much, I don't think. They could question me. Based on how I respond they'd either have to let me go or charge me with something, and I don't even know if they could do that. But I think they could hold me there for a while until they were sure I was telling the truth. And I don't want to go through that." I was concerned about my ability to lie. Even though I was used to hiding my secret, I'd never had someone asking me any questions about the senshi.

"What if he proves to be too strong?"

"That's a risk I'm willing to take," I said quietly, crossing the distance between us. I couldn't stop myself from brushing a strand of hair out of her gorgeous blue eyes. "At least then I'll have a better idea of what I need to do to stop him for good. And maybe it will make him think twice about attacking."

Seiya sighed and didn't say anything. She looked like she was thinking. "We'll go with you," she said at last, reaching out and resting her hands lightly on my shoulders. "Maybe between the four of us we could stop him. Do you think you could call Helios back? He might be able to help, too."

Now it was my turn to pause. I figured that Helios would come, but the problem was how to contact him. I didn't have the Crystal Clarion, and that was how Chibi-Usa how always called him before. Something of what I was thinking must have shown on my face, because Seiya raised an eyebrow. I hastened to explain. "It's not that I don't want to. Given what they tried to do to Chibi-Usa, I'm sure that Helios hates the Black Moon clan and especially Rubeus as much as I do. But I don't know how. Last time he showed up because he sensed I was in danger." Not unlike the way Tuxedo Kamen used to show up, now that I thought about it.

"Well, you're not throwing yourself in front of any attacks again, so I guess we'll have to just wait and see if he shows up," Seiya said. She didn't sound too happy with that plan and I understood why. It seemed like we would be heading into battle with too little preparation. "What, exactly, are you planning to do?"

"I'd like to try a sailor teleport," I said carefully. I knew that the Starlights used some version of teleportation. It was how they traveled from planet to planet. But I also knew that it was quite different from the sailor teleport I was used to, because they seemed to be able to travel on their own. The senshi and I had always needed to do it in a group, sharing our powers to make a force strong enough to make it work. I didn't know if the Starlights had ever done anything like that before, or if they would even want to.

"What's that?"

"It's a way of combining magic," I explained. "We hold hands and focus on the place where we need to go. Then we open the conduits and let power pour through, and -" I threw my hands up a little - "we teleport. It's the only way I can think of to get us inside of Rubeus's spaceship. Last time he kidnapped the senshi and then brought me and Chibi-Usa on board willingly, but I doubt he'll be that stupid this time."

"It sounds odd," Seiya said, which confirmed my suspicion that this would be entirely new to them. "I'm not sure what you mean by opening the conduit."

"Ami-chan explained it to me once in really scientific terms, but I don't remember most of what she said. Basically, it just means you drop all of the defenses that normally keep your power contained. It floods into the people on either side of you, but they've also dropped their walls so_ their_ power is flooding out too. It gets all fired up and needs somewhere to go, so it manifests outside of our bodies without a wand or transformation pen or broach. By focusing our minds, we can then direct it to take us where we want to go." I was proud of myself for having remembered that much. Ami's explanation had been thorough and confusing.

"We've never done that before. I'm not sure that our power works that way."

"We can try," I said encouragingly. I wasn't sure I could teleport by myself. I'd never done it before. And I didn't want to tap into the power of the ginzuishou before I had to, either. I'd need everything I had to fight against Rubeus. I turned my head at the sound of the door, suddenly realizing that more time had passed than I realized. It was beginning to get dark, and Taiki, Yaten and Chibi-Chibi were home. "Look, talk it over with Yaten and Taiki. They might have some ideas. I'm going to go take a shower."

I left her there and went to my room, intending to have a few minutes to myself. But it didn't surprise me that Luna and Artemis were waiting for me on my bed. I looked at them as I shut the door, and Luna said, "Usagi-chan, what you're planning to do is incredibly dangerous."

"I know, Luna, but what choice do I have? You heard what I said to Seiya." I didn't want to have to explain everything a second time, and there was no doubt in my mind that they'd been listening. I moved across the room and sat down on the bed. "Rubeus will follow through on his threat, you _know_ he will. I'm not going to stand here and let him do even more damage to the planet."

"But you could be killed!" she cried.

"That's the same way it's always been. I've faced this danger before," I replied. I hoped that the fact that my heart was pounding didn't show on my face. I was scared, but I didn't want to admit it.

"You always had the senshi with you before. It was different."

"The Starlights will be with me."

"And I'm sure that they will do what they can to protect you, but they're not the senshi. There're only three of them, and I heard what Seiya said. They're not used to fighting the way that the senshi do. Rubeus could easily overpower all of you!"

"Luna!" I said, holding my hand up. She was getting hysterical. "What else do you want me to say? If I don't go out there and take care of Rubeus, there's a chance several things could happen. One, he could find out that I'm pregnant. Two, he could find out about the Ayakashi Sisters. Three, someone could figure out that I'm Sailor Moon and report me to the police. Four, people could start thinking that some innocent girl is Sailor Moon. Or five, Rubeus could lose patience and start destroying the city. Now I don't know about you, but none of those scenarios sound like a good option to me. _I don't have a choice_."

"She's right, Luna," Artemis said quietly before Luna could respond. It was the first time I had heard him speak in a while. He looked up at me with sad blue eyes. "You've grown up a lot, Usagi. Your mother would have been very proud of you."

My eyes filled with tears, and for a moment I couldn't say anything. I swallowed hard. At first the idea that I technically had two mothers had been foreign to me, and I'd had a hard time getting used to it. I hadn't thought of Queen Serenity as my mother at all. But gradually that had changed as I spent more time as Sailor Moon and Princess Serenity, and now I realized that I wanted that. I wanted her to be proud of me. More than that, I wanted to be proud of myself.

I stood up and turned towards my dresser. The girl staring back at me had her hair in a long braid down her back, just like she had every day since the end of the battle. Now, I pulled the tie off and gently unwound my hair. I brushed it out and then began the task of putting it up into odango. I had been doing it for so long that I knew I would never really forget. I'd worn my hair in odango from the time that my hair was long enough to do it. My mother had told me once that she felt compelled to give me this hairstyle, and now I understood why.

Within about thirty minutes, a far more familiar face was looking back at me. I set the brush back down on the dresser. I knew I was ready.

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Please review!


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:** Sorry for all those who thought action would be forthcoming… Enjoy!

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I thought I was ready to face Rubeus. But no more than ten minutes after I sat back down on my bed and started petting Luna and Artemis, I realized that I wasn't. There was something I had to do first, something that I couldn't go without doing unless I wanted my conscience to distract me the whole time. I didn't want to do it, but that didn't change the fact that I knew I had to. I got up once I made sure that Luna and Artemis were both sound asleep and left my room. Seiya's door was closed, and I could hear the shower running. When I went into the living room, Taiki was sitting on the couch with Chibi-Chibi on her knee. Chibi-Chibi was watching the television while Taiki read one of our textbooks. They both looked up at me.

"I need to go out for a little while," I said simply. If it had been Seiya I knew she would have insisted on finding out where I was going, and then on coming with me for both protection and moral support. But I wanted - no, after all of this time I _needed_ to do this on my own. Taiki must have sensed that, because much to my surprise she gave me a slow, thoughtful nod. My hopes shot up until she spoke.

"Alright. You can't go alone, though."

"Taiki -"

"I'll just come with you to the door of wherever you're going," she interrupted, holding up a hand. "Then you can go in and do whatever you want, and I'll just wait outside to escort you back home. You won't even know I'm there, I promise."

I sighed. It wasn't really what I wanted, but I knew that it was the best offer I was going to get. "Okay," I said, giving in. "But we've got to go now."

Taiki didn't ask me anything else. She just got up and found coats for all three of us. She didn't even tell Seiya and Yaten that we were going, and when I made it clear that I wanted to walk instead of take the car she didn't protest. I liked that about her, how easily she went with the flow sometimes. It would have been very easy for people to get the wrong idea and think that you could take advantage of her, but I knew that would be a stupid mistake for anyone with a bit of sense to make. Taiki could be both strong and stubborn when she wanted to be. But I sensed that after living with Seiya and Yaten for so long, she had learned that there was value in learning to pick your battles. It made me respect her even more, so much so that I didn't even mind when she finally broke down and asked.

"Where are we going?"

"To my parent's house," I said.

My answer surprised her. She gave me an intent stare. "Are you planning to tell them that you're pregnant?"

"No. I don't really think that's necessary just yet," I replied. I had thought about it. But if I died facing Rubeus, I didn't want that to be one of the last memories my parents had of me. So few people were aware that I was pregnant that I knew the news would never get back to them, because if we lost it wasn't like there would a body for the police to examine. I looked straight ahead and added, "I'm going to tell them I'm Sailor Moon."

She tripped, though to her credit she didn't actually fall on the ground. She just stumbled. "_What_?"

"I know. I'm really freaked out about it too, Taiki, but it's the right thing to do. My parents have spent the last two years with no idea that their daughter is the sailor suited solider who has been protecting the city. Up until now, it never really mattered. I was always confident that we would come out on top in our battles and if we didn't, well, it never felt right making my parents worry. I didn't want them to have that level of responsibility on their shoulders. But the battle with Galaxia..." I took a deep breath. "It made me realize how easy it would be for everything to go wrong. I believe that we will win against Rubeus, but in the event that we don't my parents have the right to know why I won't be coming home."

"Usagi..." Taiki started and then stopped. "That's very commendable of you. But don't you think that they're going to be just as worried about you now as they would have been before?"

"Of course they will be. I realize that. But like I said, I think the time has come for me to tell them the truth. I just know that it's the right thing to do," I concluded, wishing that I could better express why I was feeling this way. My parents had done a lot for me, and lying to them had never felt good. There had been so many times when I wished I could explain the weird bruises, why I stayed out so late, the poor grades that sometimes weren't actually my fault. I'd wanted to tell them who Chibi-Usa was, that she was their granddaughter, and that Mamoru was the man I'd loved for centuries. It hurt knowing that there were some things I'd missed out on because I'd hesitated for too long.

It would be dangerous, of course. There was a good chance they would be angry with me for keeping it a secret for so long. It would definitely give them even more cause to be concerned, especially when they inevitably realized that I was going to have to take care of Rubeus. On the one hand, Taiki was right. It seemed cruel to make them worry about me, especially when there really wasn't anything that they could do to help me. All they would be able to do was sit and wait for me to come home. In that respect, it was kinder to make them think that I was just a silly girl who was too busy hanging out with her rock star friends.

But on the other hand, I knew that I was right. If I died, I wanted to die with as few regrets as possible. And out of the two things that I had to tell my parents about, letting them know that I was Sailor Moon was way more important than telling them about Chibi-Usa. That could wait. This, though, was long overdue. It was a conversation that I probably should have had with them a long time ago, but I'd always put it off. Lying on my bed with Luna and Artemis, it had struck me that if I died without my family knowing why I would regret it. That's what had happened to some of my friends. Poor Shingo would be left to bear the burden alone, and my parents would never know the truth because he wouldn't tell them.

I closed my eyes. "Taiki, do you think - do you know if Seiya still... cares for me?"

"Of course Seiya loves you. We all do," Taiki said, clearly confused by what she viewed as a sudden change in topic.

I smiled and shifted Chibi-Chibi closer. It felt so good to hear her say that, even if I didn't think she'd entirely understood my meaning. Thinking about dying with regrets had led me to wonder if maybe I should tell Seiya after all. "No, I mean... do you think she still loves me the way she did before the battle with Galaxia. Do you think she's still _in_ love with me?"

Taiki didn't say anything for a long time. We walked several streets in silence before she spoke again. "Can I ask why before I tell you what I think?"

"Yes." I looked away, feeling a blush on my cheeks. I hadn't really talked about my feelings with anyone except for Shingo and Mika. It felt a lot more real to discuss it with someone like Taiki. I had a lot of butterflies in my tummy. "Minako-chan told me that I should stop being such a coward. She said that I was afraid to tell Seiya how I feel because I was scared of being rejected. And thinking about dying and how I don't want any regrets, it made me realize that I don't want to die without telling Seiya the truth. But that doesn't make it any less nerve wracking to do it. That's why I wondered whether you thought she still has feelings for me."

She reached out and caught my arm, drawing us both to a stop. "You're in love with Seiya?"

I automatically ran everything I'd just said through my mind and realized that I'd done a pretty crap job of explaining. I gave her a sheepish smile. "Well... when Seiya has always been there for me, you know? I know she can be a jerk, but she's got a good heart and she was so sweet while Mamo-chan was gone - I really did try my best to fight it, but I just couldn't help -"

"Usagi." Taiki held a hand up, looking amused. "Answer the question."

"Yes," I said finally, my heart pounding furiously. "Yes, I'm in love with Seiya."

"God." It was Taiki's turn to close her eyes, and her fingers tightened to the point of pain on my arm. "I never thought I would hear you say that."

"Is it a good thing that I said it?" I asked anxiously. "Does she - does she still love me?"

"I don't know."

It wasn't what I wanted to hear. My face fell. "Oh."

"That's not to say that she doesn't," Taiki said gently. It was the kindest tone I'd ever heard her speak in. "It's not that I don't want to tell you. It's that I honestly don't know. Yaten and I made our disapproval of Seiya's feelings towards you known a few weeks ago. Well, I'm sure you know that already." She smiled painfully. "Since then, Seiya hasn't mentioned it. If she does still love you, I think she thinks that we would still be angry with her for feeling that way, and in light of everything that has happened she's trying not to make waves."

"Do you still feel that way?" I had to ask even though I was afraid of the answer.

Taiki sighed and squeezed my arm. "Usagi, you have to understand something. It was never about you or Seiya, okay? It was about our mission. As guardian soldiers, we had one goal in life and that was to protect our princess. Seiya's feelings for you distracted her from that goal. I know that in the end you saved us all and we couldn't have done it without you, but it could have just as easily spelled disaster. Seiya could have become conflicted about where her true loyalty was. That's why we were trying to keep the two of you apart."

Her words made sense, though I thought it was unbearably sad that the three of them had lived their lives never expecting to be able to fall in love. Had my senshi felt that way? I hoped not. "And now?"

"Well, now Princess Kakyuu is gone and you are our princess," she replied. "There can't be any conflict, and if you're in love with Seiya there is no concern that she might get her heart broken." She grinned, correctly interpreting the look on my face. "Don't worry: I'm sure your heart is safe too. Just because Seiya hasn't mentioned being in love with you doesn't mean anything has changed. But you _are_ going to have to be the one who makes the first move. You just lost your prince not that long ago. Seiya isn't going to make a move on you unless she's absolutely certain you want her to."

I stared at her for a moment. Although she hadn't really given me anything concrete to go off of, I realized that I felt better. I reached out and hugged her impulsively, pressing Chibi-Chibi between us. "Thanks Taiki," I whispered, resting my head against her shoulder.

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	36. Chapter 36

**A/N:** I thought for a long time about how Usagi's parents should handle this sort of announcement. I hope that I've done it right. Enjoy!

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Mom looked pretty surprised when she opened up the door and saw me standing there. I'd given Chibi-Chibi to Taiki, figuring that having her with me might not be so helpful right now, so I was all alone. Before I even got the chance to speak, she gasped and reached out, dragging me inside. I squeaked as she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me so hard I couldn't even bring my own arms up around her to return the hug. It felt good at first, but after a couple of minutes I realized that she was hugging me so tightly that it was actually starting to make it difficult to breathe. My mother did a lot of housework, and it had given her a lot more upper strength than I'd expected.

"Mom, I'm happy to see you too," I wheezed out after a couple of tries. "But... you have to let go or you're going to kill me."

"Oh! Sorry." Mom let go and I gasped for breath as she stepped back, though not so far that she couldn't keep her hands on my shoulders. She looked me over worriedly, clearly trying to find something physically wrong. I raised an eyebrow and she shrugged. "Can you blame me? You haven't visited since that night, and you showed up so suddenly that I thought maybe something had gone wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," I said, feeling guilty. I'd meant to come back and visit them. I really had. But then I'd gotten distracted with everything else, and somehow it just kept getting pushed to the back burner. "I'm sorry. I should've come back to see you before now."

She gave me a tight smile, which meant she was more upset than she wanted to admit. "Come on. Your father, Shingo and I were just sitting down to dinner. You can join us."

There was no need to ask if I'd eaten yet. Normally I was always hungry enough for a meal. Tonight, though, I was nervous enough that the thought of eating anything made me feel kind of sick. But I could already hear the lecture Taiki would give me if she knew I was skipping a meal. I'd lost a fair amount of weight since the fight with Galaxia, and that wasn't good for me or the baby. I needed a lot of calories because of how fast my metabolism worked, but food just didn't seem to be as interesting as it had before. I knew, though, that not eating would only make her even more worried. So I followed her to the table.

Shingo and Dad were already there waiting. Dad leapt up when he saw me, and I was treated to another hug that left me breathless. He kissed the top of my head before he let me go, and I noticed that he wouldn't look me in the eyes as he stepped away. At first I was confused and a little hurt, but then I realized that he was trying not to cry and I had to sit down fast and take a long drink of water to stop myself from doing the same. To his credit, Shingo realized that I was just barely holding it together. He reached out and gave my arm a quick squeeze, but other than that he didn't act like there was anything special about the fact that I'd turned up for dinner.

"Where's Seiya?" he asked me.

"At home," I replied without thinking. It was only when I saw Mom wince a little as she sat back down that it occurred to me that I probably shouldn't have referred to the apartment as "home". God, I was really batting a thousand tonight, wasn't I? This didn't bode well. I tried to keep going past the slip. "Um, we all had a really long day so Taiki walked me over and then had to do some errands. He, um, didn't think I should be out by myself."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that they're taking your safety seriously," said Dad. "They're right, Usagi. It's not safe for anyone to be out by themselves right now, not with that lunatic running around."

I had to bite down on my lip to keep myself from smirking. That lunatic. What an apt name for Rubeus! "I know. And before you ask, he's coming to pick me up again when I'm done."

"So you are leaving, then," said Mom.

"Oh. Well, yes," I said. Somehow I was surprised by that, even though I shouldn't have been. Of course she'd been hoping that I would have decided to come back home. She didn't know that I had decided I didn't really want to come back ever. And I didn't think that now would be the time for me to say as much. "I'm sorry, Mom. I know you guys miss me, but I... I just feel like I need to be with my friends right now."

"I know, and we do understand. I just miss you."

"I miss you too." Guilt made my throat tight, because honestly I hadn't really missed them at all. Life was just so much easier when I was around people who understood me the way the Starlights did, and I really couldn't imagine leaving the three of them behind. As long as they were willing to have me, I wanted to stay with them. But how could I say that to my parents without hurting their feelings? They would never understand.

An awkward silence fell that I didn't know how to break. I watched silently as Mom had dished me up a huge plate of food, and normally I would've had no problem eating it but there was way too much for me right then. I ate a little bit of it and spent the next few minutes pushing the rest of it around my plate, trying to make it look like I'd eaten more than I had, all the while wondering how I was going to start this discussion. It didn't seem right to just jump right in, but how did you start up a conversation like that?

After a few minutes, Mom got up to take the plates away. She frowned when she saw my plate and I knew I hadn't fooled her one bit, but she didn't comment. I stayed at the table while she brought out the dessert she'd made: cookies. I took one and bit into it, and the sweet taste of the chocolate made me feel a little bit better. I made quick work of it and caught her smiling at me, clearly pleased that I was enjoying the food she'd made. I smiled back and took a second one.

Eventually, Shingo cleared his throat. "Is there a special reason you came to visit, Nee-chan?" he asked, breaking the cookie he was holding into three smaller pieces. I could tell from the look on his face that he was worried I'd come to say that I was turning myself in to Rubeus. Technically, he wasn't too far off the mark.

"Actually, yes there was," I said, dusting my hands off. My heart was pounding suddenly, and I wished that Taiki had stayed with me after all. I could have used her support.

"You can't!" Shingo exclaimed, sounding horrified. "You can't give yourself up to him! He'll just turn around and destroy the city as soon as there's no one left to protect it."

"What?" Mom said.

"Shingo, relax!" I said at the same time, reaching across the table and grabbing his hand. "I'm not going to give in to what he wants, okay? That's not why I'm here. I told you before, I would never even_ think_ about sacrificing myself unless it was absolutely the last choice and we had done everything that we could to defeat him. Believe me, I know that Rubeus was lying through his teeth. There's no way he would just leave Earth alone if we weren't here to stop him."

Shingo looked relieved. "Okay. I'm sorry for assuming that's why you were here, but -"

"It's okay. I understand why you were thinking that," I told him, and I really did. Poor kid. This had probably been on his mind ever since we had talked.

"What on earth are you two talking about?" Mom said, looking back and forth between us like we had lost our minds. "Who is Rubeus and why would he be doing anything to the Earth?"

"And why would you be giving yourself up to him?" Dad chimed in, frowning.

"Rubeus is the name of the man who appeared above Tokyo a few nights ago. I'm sure you've heard about him. Maybe you even saw him. He's threatening to destroy the city unless Sailor Moon gives herself up," I told them, exchanging a look with Shingo. I saw the moment when he understood, and his eyes went wide. I squeezed his hand against to keep him quiet.

"Some of the people in my office were talking about that. I thought that they'd been indulging too much until I saw the papers saying the same thing." Dad had set down his cup of tea, and now both he and Mom were looking at me with identical expressions of confusion and worry. "Usagi, what is going on here?"

"Well," I said slowly, realizing that there was really no other way to do this, "the person that Rubeus wants is me. I'm Sailor Moon."

I didn't know what I had been expecting. Shock, maybe. Fear and concern, definitely. I'd even considered the possibility that they might just start laughing. After all, this wouldn't be the first time I had been confronted with someone who couldn't believe that klutzy Tsukino Usagi could be Sailor Moon. Even Chibi-Usa hadn't wanted to believe it. But that didn't happen. Mom and Dad just kept looking at me for a minute, like they were waiting for me to say that it had been a joke. When I didn't say anything, they glanced at each other and did that annoying thing where it was like they were having a private conversation with just their eyes.

"It's true," I went on, frustrated by the fact that I hadn't got any reaction. For a wild second, I thought they were going to tell me that they'd known along. It certainly seemed to be the running theme whenever I started talking to people about this. I looked over at Shingo, seeking more support, and he just shrugged. He didn't know why they hadn't spoken either.

"Oh Usagi," Mom said then, and she reached out and patted my free hand. "Honey, I realize that everything that has happened has been a terrible shock for you. And I know that losing your friends was very difficult. But pretending to be someone you're not isn't the answer. The police are searching for Sailor Moon, and if someone heard you talking like this and took you seriously you could get into a lot of trouble."

"Mom!" I couldn't believe it. She didn't believe me!

Dad sighed and finally picked up his cup of tea again. "Your mother is right, Usagi. I know that you're trying to use this as a coping mechanism, but -"

"It's not a coping mechanism! I don't even know what that means, but you're wrong. I _am_ Sailor Moon. I have been for the past two years. It was me protecting the city all this time. Me and my friends." I could see that they didn't believe me. "I'm telling you the truth!"

"I'm sure that you _think_ you're telling us the truth," Mom said. She kept patting my hand. "But I was watching this fascinating news documentary just the other day, and it was all about these young girls who are trying to come to terms with what's happened by taking control in some way. The ones in the show were talking about attending the police academy, but you - well. I can't remember what it was called, but I'm sure I could find it again and we could sit down and watch it together -"

"Show them," Shingo interrupted.

I looked at him, dazed. "What?"

"Show them." His green eyes were blazing. "They're not going to understand until you do. Show them, Usagi. Transform and_ prove_ that you're telling the truth."

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Please review!


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N:** Enjoy!

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Transform. In front of my family. Just the idea filled me with a dizzying rush, and I was glad that I was sitting so that I couldn't do something really embarrassing like fall over. There weren't many people I had transformed in front of outside of the senshi and Mamo-chan. Each time was embarrassing because transforming had always felt like a private thing for all that I was used to doing it out in broad daylight on a public street. I wasn't sure how I felt about doing it just to prove who I was, but I knew that Shingo was right. One look at Mom's and Dad's faces told me that they weren't going to believe me anytime soon. I could tell them all of the stories in the world and they would still doubt me unless they had proof.

"Okay," I said finally, closing my eyes in resignation. "I'll do it. Just - " I looked around, remembering the last time I'd had to transform in the dining room. There had been a lot of dishes shattered that day thanks to my wings, and when Mom got home she'd given me an awfully hard time. Granted, I probably wouldn't be moving around as much but it still seemed like a smarter idea to just do it somewhere else and save myself the hassle. "Do you mind if we move to the living room? There's more space."

Mom and Dad looked at each other. "Alright," Mom said after a minute, and I could tell that she was just humoring me. "Just give me a minute to clear the dishes from the table, and then we'll be right in."

I nodded and got up, following Shingo out into the living room. "I almost thought that they were going to tell me they already knew," I said as he went over and sat down on the couch. He was smirking, the little brat. He was going to fully enjoy the fact that he'd figured it out and Mom and Dad hadn't. That was Shingo for you. He never missed an opportunity to gloat.

"I could have told you that would never happen," he replied, putting his feet up on the coffee table. He knew he wasn't allowed to do that, but he did it anyway. I gave him a look and he rolled his eyes but put them back on the floor. "No parent is going to want to admit that their kid is the one jumping around in a mini skirt trying to protect the city from god knows what. But that goes double for Mom and Dad, because you know how protective they are of us. If they ever did come close to figuring it out, they probably just told themselves that they were imagining things."

I glanced over at him, a little surprised by the insight he was showing. "You're probably right," I admitted, knowing that there was no 'probably' about it. In a way, I was glad that Mom and Dad had never realized the truth on their own. I wouldn't have wanted them to confront me with the situation before I was prepared for it. And before now, I wouldn't have been. I sat down beside him on the couch and leaned back. "How do you think they're going to take it?"

Shingo thought about it. "The way I see it, they'll either be really angry you never told them before or Mom will cry and try to guilt trip you into never doing it again."

Neither scenario sounded all that appealing. I let my head drop back against the couch and groaned. "Oh god, remind me again why I'm doing this?"

"Because it's the right thing to do," Shingo said simply, and he sounded so serious that I turned to look at him in surprise. He was looking back at me already, and his cheeks were flushed from embarrassment. "Because you always do the right thing, Nee-chan. It's one of those things I've noticed about you." He cleared his throat. "Something I've come to admire about you."

"Shingo..." I stared at him, stunned by the admission. The two of us had never been all that close. Shingo loved to tease me, and I wasn't the kind of person who took teasing well. Maybe we just too close together in age, or just too different in personality. But now we were both growing up, and I thought - maybe it's not too late after all. "Thank you."

We heard footsteps at the door, and Shingo shifted and then pulled away from me. I didn't blame him. Mom and Dad walked in, and it was obvious that they'd been having a talk in the kitchen while they cleared the table. They were both wearing forced smiles. It was a smile I'd seen before. I'd come to recognize it as the 'let's humor our daughter and pretend that this isn't going to blow up in her face' look. It used to bother me. But now I knew I'd have the chance to see it disappear, and I was looking forward to it.

"Alright, let's get this over with," said Dad. Mom elbowed him hard and he jumped. "Um, I mean, go ahead sweetheart."

I had to bite my lip to hide my grin. "Okay Dad," I said when I felt ready to talk without laughing. I stood up and moved into the center of the room, reaching into my pocket. I pulled out my locket and held it between my hands. I waited there for a couple of seconds until I heard Dad shifting restlessly, and then I shouted, "_Moon Eternal, Make-Up_!"

The brilliant white light flooded the room for a split second, and I felt the gentle caress of feathers shifting against my body as my clothing disappeared and my sailor fuku took its place. I opened my eyes and looked at my parents, who were both staring at me in dumbstruck silence. Shingo was looking at me too, and his expression was priceless. Even though he'd known I was Sailor Moon, it was like he still hadn't really believed it until he saw me transform. He stood up slowly and reached out a hand to touch one of my wings, and even though I didn't really like it when people did that I stayed still and allowed the touch.

"They're so soft..." he managed to say.

That seemed to snap Mom out of her daze. "Oh my god," she said, and then louder with a touch of hysteria, "_Oh my god_. You were telling the truth. You're really -"

"I am the defender of love and justice, the pretty sailor soldier Sailor Moon," I replied, the familiar words rolling off my tongue. "I told you, Mom. I wasn't lying, and I wasn't using this as some sort of - chop mechanics, or whatever it is you called it."

Mom blinked at me. She rubbed her eyes. She even pinched her arm. When I just kept standing there, she slowly started to shake her head. "No, there is no way that this can be real," she said, her voice shaking so badly that I could barely understand her. "You can't be Sailor Moon. You can't. Because if you are, then that means - all this time..."

I didn't know what to say. Mom was falling apart in front of me. I hadn't expected this. I looked at Dad, but he was just sitting there with his head in his hands. "Mom, I'm sorry, but -"

"No. I can't hear anymore." She jumped to her feet and ran out of the room.

"Mom!"

"Usagi," Dad said. That one word, spoken in a tone that I had never heard before, stopped me like he'd reached out and grabbed my arm. I just stood there and looked at the door of the living room, listening to the sounds of my mother running up the steps and slamming the bedroom door. It sounded extremely loud when the rest of the house was so quiet. I wondered what she was doing, if she'd thrown herself down on the bed or if she was pacing back and forth. Mom hated being still when she was upset. That's why our house was always cleanest right after she got bad news.

Finally, I turned back around. "Daddy, I wanted to tell you the truth - I thought that you should know. I never told you before because I didn't want you to worry about me. But the fight that destroyed the city, it made me realize how easily I could die. And I didn't think that was fair to Shingo to leave him with the knowledge of what happened when you and Mom didn't know. Should I -" I stopped and swallowed hard, finishing in a tiny voice. "Should I not have told you?"

Dad looked up at me for the first time since I'd transformed. I knew I'd never forget the look on his face. He'd aged about twenty years in the span of two minutes. I even imagined I could see more grey hair lining his temples than before. Worse yet, there were tears in his eyes. I'd never seen my father cry before. I'd never thought I would be the cause of it. My throat started to ache immediately and it was only by sheer force of will that I stopped myself from bursting into tears. I wanted to listen to whatever he was going to say without influencing him either way, and I knew that crying was a way to get him to do whatever I wanted.

Maybe I should have cried. He certainly didn't have the reaction I was looking for. He stood up slowly, moving like his body was hurting him, and walked over to me. I gazed up at him as he rested his hands on my shoulders, and it was like he was trying to search for something in my eyes. I didn't know whether he found it or not. We stood there for a long time, for what felt like forever, before he leaned down and kissed me on my forehead, right over the crescent moon mark. It was brief, and when he pulled back he dropped his hands and walked out of the room without looking back.

I felt stunned. It was the only word for it. Over the past two years, I'd sometimes allowed myself to dream about what it might be like for my parents to find out I was a superhero. I thought I had imagined every possible scenario. But it had never occurred to me that they might just refuse to accept the truth. And what could I do about that? Nothing. Something of what I was thinking must have shown in my face, because Shingo stood up and walked over to me.

"They just need time," he said in a low voice. I could tell that their reactions had upset him too, though he was trying hard to hide it. "I'm - I was used to the idea by the time I told you, Nee-chan. Mom and Dad aren't. You've got to give them a couple of days to think about it."

My throat felt tight. I wanted to tell Shingo that I didn't have a couple of days. Depending on how the fight with Rubeus went, I could be dead tomorrow. But I didn't. I took a deep breath and forced myself to respond calmly. "You're right. This was a big shock, and I - I probably could have explained it better than I did. I, um," I looked around, "I guess I'll just go."

"If they ask me questions, I'll try to explain," Shingo said. He looked worried.

"Thanks," I said. There were so many answers he wouldn't be able to provide. I'd have to tell Luna to come over and explain if I couldn't. Maybe she could even use her mind meld trick. I looked at him, at my baby brother, and then reached out and hugged him hard. It was my way of saying good-bye. He might have realized that on some level, or maybe he thought I just needed the comfort, because he hugged me back. I let my transformation go and stepped back. I tried to smile at him.

"I'll see you around?" he said, making it sound more like a question than he probably intended.

I didn't want to promise him that. I said, "Good-bye, Shingo" and left.

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Please review.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N:** Enjoy!

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Taiki and Chibi-Chibi were waiting for me when I ran out of the house. She took one look at the expression on my face and, thankfully, didn't say a word. We walked back to the apartment in silence, and I went straight to my room and closed the door behind me. I was caught up in that weird feeling of wanting to cry but being unable to. Maybe I was in shock. Out of all the ways I had thought that my parents might react, that had never been one of them. I'd always thought that no matter what, they would accept me. It wasn't like I was doing drugs or drinking or anything like that. I was out there every night saving the world! Without me, Tokyo would have been destroyed years ago.

Would they ever come around to the idea? What if they never did? I threw myself down on the bed and tried to picture myself explaining the story of the Silver Millennium and Crystal Tokyo, about the past I'd forgotten and the future I'd never have. If my parents couldn't even accept that I was Sailor Moon, there was no way I would ever be able to tell them that much. And forget explaining about the baby and where she really came from. Maybe it was a good thing I'd started practicing my story around Motoki after all. It was looking like I'd need it.

I heard a knock at my door. I didn't answer. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone about what had happened. But someone opened the door anyway, and I didn't have to look up to know who it was. Seiya padded across the floor towards me and crawled onto the bed. She laid down so that she was propping her head up on her hand. Even in my misery, I couldn't help noticing that she was wearing a dark blue tank top and a pair of white cotton panties that emphasized the slight golden tan she'd gotten after all of her time on Earth. For once, though, the lovely view of her legs didn't do anything to cheer me up. I closed my eyes and let out a deliberate groan, and Seiya sighed.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asked quietly.

I knew she wouldn't go away until I answered. "Not really."

"Taiki told me that you told your parents the truth."

I said nothing.

"Did they - were they angry with you? Did they throw you out?"

"No." I had to respond to that, because I didn't want Seiya getting the wrong idea about Mom and Dad. "No, it was nothing like that. They didn't believe me at first. I had to transform to prove that I was telling the truth. They thought that I was so upset by what happened in the war that I was just pretending to be Sailor Moon. I was - I can understand how they might have thought that, but it hurt me." I paused for a moment, startled. I hadn't realized just how deeply it affected me that Mom and Dad were always thinking the worst of me. "And then Mom got really upset when she I transformed. She ran out of the room and said she didn't want to hear about it. Dad followed her and I left." I shrugged.

"I'm sorry," Seiya said. She reached out and tangled her fingers into one of the streamers of hair that fell from my odango. "You know, it's nice to see your hair like this again. I was starting to think that I'd never see my odango again."

I turned my head to look at her. "I've always been here."

She smiled, just a little. "What are you going to do about your parents?"

"I don't know. What can I do, really? I can't _make_ them accept the truth if they don't want to. Shingo seems to think that given enough time, they'll get used to the idea. Maybe he's right. I did spring it on them pretty abruptly." I rolled over onto my side. "Did you ever have to tell your parents?"

"I don't know who my parents are, Odango."

"What?"

Seiya kept playing with my hair while she spoke. "Every prince or princess that is - _was _born on Kinmoku needed senshi, and children with those shining star seeds would be born as required, usually within a five or so year radius of the royal child. In my case, Princess Kakyuu was born and a little while later so was I. The palace had a special way of finding the senshi. When they discovered who I was, I was told they approached my parents and explained about my destiny. It's a great honor, you know. I was taken to the palace and raised with Taiki and our princess and Yaten."

I stayed silent for a long moment, quelling my initial desire to say how horrible that sounded. I couldn't imagine being taken away from my parents when I was just a baby. I tried to picture doing that for Chibi-Usa, taking her guardians away from their parents, and knew I would _never_ be able to do that. But Seiya didn't seem to be disturbed. Actually, she sounded calm and relaxed. I swallowed hard. "That sounds - different."

"It's just the way things were, Odango. They wanted to foster a stronger sense of loyalty between us and our princess, and what better way than to introduce us when we just toddlers and let us grow up together?" she replied. "It wasn't so bad. I had my sisters, and we all had Kakyuu."

"It just sounds sort of... lonely. I mean, didn't you ever wonder about your family?"

She looked at me for a moment before she answered. "Sometimes," she said at last. "I suppose that we all did, once in a while. It's a natural curiosity to wonder where you came from, what your parents and the rest of your blood family might look like. When I was about fifteen I was offered the opportunity to go meet with them if I wanted to, but I declined. I didn't want to know. Yaten went, though."

"She must have found that hard."

"I think she regretted going," Seiya agreed. "She was very quiet when she came back, and from then on she was a little bit colder towards every person that we met. I never asked her who she met or what she saw, but it changed her."

I could believe that. "Do you ever wish things had been different?"

"Do you?" she asked. "Do you wish that you'd been brought up somewhere else, not knowing your parents so that you didn't have to worry about telling them?"

"No."

"Well, I'm the same. I told you. It's what I know, Odango. It might sound awful to you, but that was how things were done on Kinmoku. The things that we missed out on were made up in everything else that we got, like the power to defend our planet." She sighed. "And besides, in the end being senshi is what ultimately saved our lives. I'm sure that our families, if anything remained of them by the time Galaxia came, perished in the war. We would have died too"

I was quiet for a long moment, not really sure how to respond to that. I could tell that little by little they were becoming accustomed to the heavy weight of grief, but I also knew that it would be a long time before they thought of Earth as their home. "Seiya?"

"Yes?"

"I don't regret telling my family. I don't know what's going to happen when we go to fight Rubeus. I hope that we'll come out it okay. I believe that we will. But..." I looked up at the ceiling, trying to organize my thoughts into something coherent. "What happened to the moon during the Silver Millennium and Kinmoku made me realize that sometimes things don't work out, and it's not for lack of trying. It just happens. I didn't want to go into the fight with Rubeus knowing that if I didn't come back, I'd have regrets."

"Odango, nothing is going to happen to us tomorrow," Seiya said firmly.

"You don't know that. Rubeus is - he's strong, Seiya. You didn't see the way he looked at me. I know he would do whatever it takes to kill me, even if it means that he might not survive. That's just the kind of person he is." I hoped she would understand what I was trying to say - that this would be literally a fight to the death. Then again, most of our battles were. I'd just never thought about it like that before.

"Where is this coming from? Why are you suddenly so afraid?"

"I'm not scared! Well, okay, maybe I am a little. It's hard not to be. I used to go into every fight thinking that me and my friends were triumph no matter what, and before Galaxia we did. She and Chaos proved that we're not as all powerful as we think we are." I paused and cleared my throat. Nerves were making my hands shake, and it was getting harder to continue. "But I - it's more than that. I just don't want to have any regrets. And I -" I hesitated, the words getting stuck in my throat.

Seiya's face changed as realization dawned on her. "You have a regret involving me?" she said, sounding surprised. "Odango, you know that you can tell me anything. What is it?"

I took a deep breath. This was going to change everything for better or worse, and at this point I really had no idea which it was going to be. "When we first met, you did everything you could to be there for me," I said as steadily as I could. "Whether I wanted you to be there or not, you were there. And even though I tried so hard not to, I started to depend on you. I knew that I had a future waiting for me with Mamo-chan, but it was only the fact that I was so worried about him that allowed me to be strong."

She started to say something, but I held up a hand to stop her. "Please don't. I just need to get this out, and if I don't I'll probably never have the courage to say it again. You probably don't want to hear this, but I love Mamo-chan. I love him a lot. He was my prince. I was _supposed_ to love him. Because of that, I'd never really had the chance to know what it was like to just fall in love with someone naturally. So I hope you can excuse me for not wanting to consciously realize I'd fallen for you."

The look on her face at that moment was priceless, she looked so shocked. I didn't think she could've spoken even if she had wanted to. My stomach was churning so hard that I thought I might throw up. I swallowed hard and continued. "I wouldn't have done anything about it if Mamo-chan had survived. Like I said, we had a future together that would've saved the world. But now he's gone, and he - I know that he wants me to move on. He asked me not to ignore love when it already right in front of me, and it took me a little while to understand that he meant you. Even the senshi told me not to be a coward, because they knew that if I lost my chance with you I'd never forgive myself. It seems that more people realized how I felt about you than I thought.

"So this is it. Now you know what my one regret would have been if we had died tomorrow and I never got the chance to say..." My heart was pounding so hard I felt dizzy as I reached over and took her hand. It felt damp and warm, but I still slid our fingers together. "I love you, Seiya."

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Please review!


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N:** Please remember that I write fanfics because I enjoy doing so. I don't_ have_ to do it, I'm certainly not being paid, and I do not appreciate getting anon reviews complaining about a lack of updates during the rare week that I can't. I have a life outside of the computer that comes first, and a lot of you need to remember that bitching at someone is not the way to get what you want.

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For what felt like a very long time, Seiya didn't say anything. In fact, not only did she not move she barely even breathed. If it hadn't been for the slight movement of her chest, I might've started to worry that I had shocked her into a coma. As it was, I leaned forward a little until I could feel her breath ghosting across my cheek. Okay, that was a relief. At least I knew that she was actually still alive. Now all I had to do was get her to respond, hopefully in a positive way.

"Seiya? I just want you to know - you don't have to, um, feel the same way or anything like that. I understand if you don't think of me like that now. It's been a long time, and I know I pretended like I didn't understand before, and you thought we didn't have a chance because of my future, so if you don't love me then I get it. I do." What I didn't say, but couldn't help thinking, was that I also understood if she didn't want me because of the baby.

Seiya blinked, finally, and then sucked in a deep breath as she shook her head roughly. "I'm sorry, I think I just hallucinated," she said. " I could have sworn that you just said you were in loved with me."

"I did say that," I told her, a little worried about her lack of a reaction. A lot of people had surprised me tonight. Was Seiya going to do the same thing?

"You did say that," she repeated blankly.

I nodded. "Yes, I did. I love you, Seiya. I'm _in_ love with you, I should say. But if that's not something you're interested in for whatever reason, I won't let it change anything between us. You're one of my best friends, and I couldn't imagine living my life without you." I swallowed, not wanting to think about what my life would be like if Seiya decided that this made things too awkward between us. I no longer clung to her the way I once had, but if she decided she didn't want anything to do with me outside of the bare minimum of doing her duty I knew I would fall apart.

"Oh god," Seiya muttered, surprising me, and then she rolled over onto her back and put an arm over her eyes. "Am I dreaming right now? Did I fall asleep after my shower and dream that you're telling me all this?"

I couldn't help laughing, even though it was probably inappropriate given the situation. I reached over and gave her a gentle pinch on the arm, just hard enough that she jumped. "There, you have proof that you're awake and definitely not dreaming," I said. I didn't want to push my luck, but I felt bolstered by the realization that at least she hadn't jumped up and run out screaming. If anything, I was cautiously optimistic: Seiya had dreamt of me, of us, in this very situation. That had to be a good sign.

She dropped her arm and peeked over at me. "You love me," she said.

"I do."

"I don't know what to say," she admitted. "Out of all the things that I thought you were going to tell me, that wasn't even close to the top of the list. Actually, it wasn't even _on_ the list."

"You could say how you feel about me," I said hesitantly. Dreams or not, the fact that she hadn't said anything in return was making my pulse race. No matter how understanding I would try to be if she didn't feel the same way, I needed to know. This state of _not knowing_ was torture.

"I love you." She said it like it should have obvious, like I should have already known, and I just stared at her. She smiled a little tremulously. "Odango I have always loved you, even when I wasn't supposed to. Even when it got me into trouble with my sisters, even when I thought I didn't have a chance with you, even when my princess came back to life, I still loved you. Did you really think that spending more time with you and learning more about what a strong, amazing person you are would change that?"

My mouth was hanging open. I literally could not think of a single thing to say in response to that. Because when she said it like that, it all seemed to be so absurdly simple that it made me wonder why I had bothered to worry about it. "But," I said a little helplessly, "the baby... That's a lot of responsibility, Seiya. I don't want you to think that I'm asking you to... to _do_ anything."

"It is a lot," Seiya said, looking straight into my eyes. "I do know that, Odango. And I would have to think about it, and we'd have to talk about what kind of role you would want me to play after I had decided what I would be comfortable with. To be honest, I haven't even thought about it. But I would never let the fact that you're having a child keep me from being with you. I mean, you've already got one child. Chibi-Chibi is pretty much your daughter. You're going to have to raise her. What's one more?"

I had to smile, because Seiya's words were making me feel incredibly light. But at the same time, I knew there was a lot more to think about. "If we started dating and the press gets wind of the fact that I'm pregnant, you know what they'll think," I pointed out.

"That I'm the father." She paused before asking in a quieter voice, "Does that bother you?"

"No!" I couldn't imagine my baby having a better father than Seiya. I just didn't know if I could ask her to take that on. We were both so young, and sometimes I couldn't help thinking that Seiya was really only just starting her life. Kinmoku had been so different, and now she had the chance to start over. Did she really want to be bogged down with me and a couple of kids? Did I want to ask her to make that sacrifice?

Seiya must have realized how conflicted I was feeling. "Look, let's not think about all this right now. Let's just get through this fight with Rubeus and then we'll worry about it, okay?"

Part of me wanted to keep talking about it now, but a bigger part of me much preferred being able to push it all aside for later. I didn't want to have to think about things like the media and what the rest of the world was going to think. And I knew I had to give Seiya time to think about what it might mean to be a father. That was a _lot_ of responsibility. I'd had a taste of being a mother with Chibi-Usa and Chibi-Chibi, and I knew it would not be an easy task. Was she ready for that? Did she even _want_ that? She might be saying that she was okay with it now, but once she had time to think she might feel differently.

All of this was spinning through my mind, and it took me a minute to realize that Seiya was watching me. I thought back and realized that she'd said something else to me, but that I had no idea what she'd said. "Sorry, I was thinking. What did you say?"

"I said, can I kiss you?"

My heart just about stopped. I'd never seen that earnest look on her face before, and no one had ever asked me a question like that. The first time Mamo-chan and I had kissed, it had just happened so naturally. It was after the fight with Ail and Ann, when he finally remembered who I was and what we meant to each other. We'd walked out of the ruined building together, and he'd stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. My friends had kept going, all the while shooting me these little knowing smiles that had made my heart skip several beats. I remembered turning around to look up at him, and the next thing I knew he'd leaned down and kissed me. And I remembered thinking that it felt like the two of us had done that a thousand times before, it was so familiar.

I ran my tongue across my lower lip. "Yes," I said finally, watching as her expression changed to one of relief. It thrilled me to know that she had been even a little bit worried that I might say no. "Yes, please."

Seiya exhaled slowly and nodded. She brought her free hand up and brushed a strand of gold hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. It lingered there, her fingers brushing against my cheek, and I turned my head slightly into her touch. She smiled at that and moved a little bit closer. I stayed perfectly still, not daring to shift even a little just in case I messed up. This was like something out of a movie, and I was almost embarrassed by how much I wanted her to kiss me at that moment. I couldn't stop looking at her mouth and wondering how it might feel.

But she was taking forever. I forced my gaze up, away from her lips, and focused on her eyes. Was it my imagination, or was there a flicker of panic lurking there? Was she having second thoughts? If it had been anyone else, I probably would have started freaking out that maybe she didn't really want to kiss me after all. But this was Seiya, and I _knew_ she wanted it. Wanted me. She would have said so otherwise. So I was pretty sure that she was starting to wonder whether_ I_ really wanted it. I knew I had to give her some sort of sign that I had meant every single word that came out of my mouth not ten minutes ago. I just wasn't sure what the sign should be. This had been so easy with Mamo-chan; he always just kissed me.

This was Seiya, though, and maybe I should be the one doing the kissing. So I let myself lean forward. I wanted to close my eyes, but I was afraid I might miss if I did. I stared into her eyes as our lips touched for the first time. It didn't last long, maybe about two seconds, but I was stunned at how different it was. Her lips were so soft, yielding beneath mine, and full. I knew as soon as I pulled away I didn't want to stop. I reached for her again and she let out a little breath, her fingers spreading out to cup the back of my neck so that she could pull me against her.

We kissed again, longer this time. I liked the way her cheek felt against mine. Her skin was so smooth. I could smell her perfume, a very mild vanilla scent that I knew she only wore when she was certain that she wouldn't have to appear in public as a boy. She seemed to know exactly where to put her hands, letting the other one rest gently on my hip, her thumb rubbing absent circles that sent chills all the way up my spine. I let mine stay on her back, though I had to consciously stop myself from moving them down further.

We breathed together for a split second when our kiss finally ended, and I almost enjoyed that more than the actual kiss. It was so intimate, so private. I opened my eyes, not sure when I'd closed them, and found that she was smiling at me. "That was good," I said. I immediately wanted to hit myself for not saying something more interesting or complimentary. Good? Pancakes for breakfast were _good_. That kiss had been... amazing.

Seiya just grinned. "I'm glad it met your approval," she said in that voice she only used when she was teasing me. She ducked down quickly and kissed me on the cheek, and I felt myself blush as she rolled to her feet. "Once we've beaten Rubeus, Odango, and we come home, I'll help you talk to your family again."

"What?" I blinked before remembering why I'd been so miserable in the first place. Seiya had made me completely forget. "Oh, yeah, thanks."

"No problem." She backed up towards the door and paused there, staring at me like she was trying to memorize everything about my face. "Good night."

Her scrutiny made me feel things I knew I shouldn't be feeling. I swallowed hard. Even though I wanted her to stay, I knew she needed to go. I whispered, "Good night" and watched as she opened the door and slipped out.

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Please review!


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to find Chibi-Chibi sitting on my stomach. She was staring down at me, and when she saw that I was awake she started to giggle. I had to smile. I freed one of my hands from where it had been trapped under the covers and poked her gently in the nose. The sound of her laughter made me feel even better than I had before. Now that everything was out there in the open, I felt so much lighter. Even if things hadn't gone the way I wanted them to with my family, at least now they knew.

"It's a good morning, Chibi-Chibi-chan," I said softly, bracing her tiny body with a hand to her back when she started to roll over too far. If caring for her was any indication of what being a mother would be like, I wasn't going to have any problems at all. But I doubted that would be the case. If this baby really was Chibi-Usa, she wasn't going to give me an easy time of it.

"Chibi, chii chibi chibi," Chibi-Chibi said with a cute grin. She patted me on the cheek. Her hand was so tiny and soft. I smiled back and sat up, carefully placing her on the bed beside me. As much as I wanted to stay in bed with her, I knew there were far more serious matters at hand.

Still, the heady feeling of happiness stayed with me as I got dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top. I tied my hair up in odango, got Chibi-Chibi ready, and then carried her out into the kitchen. Taiki, Yaten and Seiya were already there. Yaten and Seiya were sitting at the table, and Taiki was standing beside the stove. She wasn't cooking, but there was a covered plate waiting for me at my place. I handed Chibi-Chibi over to Yaten and sat down. I wasn't all that hungry, but not eating wasn't an option. I was going to need my strength.

"You seem strangely cheerful today," Yaten said after a couple of minutes. She was playing with her glass of juice and watching me make my way through two eggs and a pile of bacon. "Have you changed your mind about going after Rubeus?"

"Nope," I said, bringing another forkful of eggs up to my mouth. I chewed and swallowed and then grinned at her. The look on her face was priceless, and I couldn't help laughing. "Yaten-kun, I still think that dealing with Rubeus now is the best idea. It's not that I _want_ to get into a fight with him, but more that I know it's coming and I firmly believe we'll be much better off if it happens on our terms. And I... I don't see the point in walking around like we're going to die. If this happens to be my last morning on Earth, I'd like to spend it in a relatively good mood."

"I guess we should have let you sleep in, then," said Seiya. Like it was the most casual thing in the world, she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I dropped my fork and it was a good thing I didn't have anything in my mouth, because I probably would've choked. Yaten's mouth dropped open, and Taiki just beamed.

"You did it!" she exclaimed.

"Wait, you knew this was going to happen and you didn't tell me?" Yaten demanded.

"It's not like I was trying to keep it a secret from you. She only told me last night," Taiki said.

Seiya was looking at me, and I could tell she was trying not to laugh. "So I'm guessing that _I'm_ the only one you had a hard time talking this over with?"

I tried not to blush. How was it that just a kiss on the cheek could feel so natural after one night? Looking over at the expression on her face, which at this point could really only be described as a cocky smirk, I realized that going to fight Rubeus was really the last thing I wanted to do today. What I wanted was to grab Seiya by the hand, take her into my bedroom, and spend hours lying on the bed beside her. I didn't even care if we kissed again, though the idea of kissing her for even a couple of minutes, much less for hours, was enough to make me feel giddy. I just really wanted to be with her without the threat of Rubeus hanging over our heads.

I'd only had that a few times with Mamo-chan. When I looked back on our time together, it seemed like we'd been facing one enemy after another with hardly any time to breathe in between. Beryl, Ail and Ann, the Black Moon, Mistress 9 and Pharaoh 90, Nehelania, and then Chaos, not to mention other, less powerful enemies we had gone up against in the meantime, was a lot to handle in just two short years. Really, there had only been a few weeks to a month here and there before something new popped up. It had gotten to the point where our fleeting time as normal, happy people seemed bittersweet because we knew that it wouldn't last.

I remembered hoping that Crystal Tokyo would change that. The beautiful utopia that Chibi-Usa had described so patiently had kept me going ever since I'd first learned about it. I knew that the first few hundred years would have been hard, knowing that the Black Moon was coming and that we wouldn't be able to do anything, but after that? Since Chibi-Usa had never mentioned any other problems with the future, I'd started thinking that things would finally be okay. That we would have come out on top, and that we wouldn't have to fight anymore. I'd looked forward to that day so much. And now I didn't have it anymore. I didn't know if it was ever going to come.

"Odango?"

The sound of Seiya's voice called me out of my complicated thoughts, and I looked up at her. I realized that three of them were looking at me with varying degrees of concern. "Oh god, I'm sorry. I just had a total ditzy moment," I said, rubbing my hand across my forehead. I didn't know where those thoughts had come from. I tried so hard to be cheerful that I didn't think anyone had guessed how much I depended on Crystal Tokyo. I couldn't let myself dwell on the future now, not when we had to go out and fight for it.

"Are you okay?" Yaten asked, narrowing her eyes at me. "You're acting weird."

Her bluntness made me smile again. "I'm fine. I was just thinking about how much we've all had to fight in the last little while, that's all." I didn't bother to explain that my thoughts had been centered specifically around myself and the Earth senshi. The Starlights had done their fair share of fighting, too; I suspected that I'd only heard a fragment of the stories they had to tell.

"One last fight," Seiya said. In a move that was so relaxed I had a hard time believing she'd never done it before, she draped her arm across my shoulders and ran her fingers down my arm. It made my skin tingle. "You just have to get through one more, that's all."

I wanted to point out that she didn't know that. Maybe Kinmoku had been relatively peaceful before Chaos came, but for the past two years Earth had attracted enemy after enemy. Sometimes the line of them seemed to be never ending. But I didn't. "You're right. And you know what I want to do as soon as Rubeus is dealt with?"

"No, what?"

"I want to go to the arcade and have a cheeseburger and a milkshake," I said. I also wanted to introduce Yaten to the Sailor V video game. I hadn't forgotten that.

"I think we can do that," Taiki said, looking very amused. "Are you ready?"

I glanced down at the remains of my food. It looked very unappetizing. "Yeah. We can drop Chibi-Chibi off and then go."

"No!"

I was so used to only hearing Chibi-Chibi talk in her baby language that it took me a second to realize who had spoken. I turned in astonishment to look at Chibi-Chibi. She was standing in the middle of the kitchen with her arms crossed, glaring up at me. "No?" I repeated dumbly.

"Chibi-Chibi has to come with you," she said firmly. Her voice still sounded young and sweet, but every word was spoken clearly. I had no trouble understanding.

"But... it will be too dangerous," I said, hardly able to believe that we were actually having a conversation. I was tempted to ask why she always pretended she couldn't talk when she could, but I knew that now wasn't the time. I stood up and knelt down in front of her, looking into her eyes so that she would see I was telling the truth. "Chibi-Chibi-chan, it was wrong of me to bring you along when we went to fight against Galaxia. I know you were a big help, but your safety should have come first. There's no way I'm letting you anywhere near Rubeus this time around. He doesn't know about you, and that's how it's going to stay."

"No," Chibi-Chibi said again, this time shaking her hair. "If you try to leave Chibi-Chibi behind, she will follow you. She will get his attention, just like your baby did."

I sat back on my heels, too stunned to respond. Because I could see from the look on her face that she was completely serious. The safest place for her would be with Motoki and Unazuki. I'd already asked them to take care of her for a little while, and they'd agreed. In the event we didn't come back, I'd planned to write a quick letter of explanation to Shingo and have one of them deliver it. I hoped that Mom and Dad would come around to the idea of taking her in.

But Chibi-Chibi was not going to agree to that. She was going to come whether I wanted her there or not. Trying to leave her behind would only make for an even worse situation; she'd be safer with us than on her own, especially if Rubeus spotted her. And even though I knew it was going to be really dangerous, there was a part of me that was relieved by her insistence. Chibi-Chibi had helped us a lot during the fight with Galaxia. If it hadn't been for her, Chaos would have stolen my starseed and the battle would've been over. I knew that she would be able to help us against Rubeus too. Still, the thought of putting her at risk...

"You really are Odango's child," Seiya said, squeezing my shoulder tightly. She stood up. "You're certain about this?"

Chibi-Chibi nodded. "Yes."

I closed my eyes, willing away the tears. Apparently I didn't have to worry about what would happen to her if I died. She would live with me or die with me. "Alright. Let's get ready, then."

I went back to my room while the others finished getting ready to leave. There were two more people I had to say my good-byes to, and I found them waiting for me on my bed. Luna had tears in her eyes when I walked into the room. She looked up at me and said, "Please, for the love of god,_ please_ come home, Usagi-chan."

"Don't do anything stupid," Artemis said shakily.

"Luna." I swallowed hard, blinking back tears. "Artemis, I promise that I'm going to try. You - you do understand why I'm doing this, right?"

The two cats looked at each other. Artemis sighed. "Yes, of course. But that doesn't mean we have to like it. Please be careful, Princess."

"I will." I reached out and gathered them both into my arms, pressing my cheek against their fur. A few tears might have escaped, hidden against the silkiness of the black and white. "I swear, I'll do everything I can to protect this planet and bring everyone home again."

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Please review!


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N:** Enjoy!

* * *

We went to the park. It seemed like the most logical place to go. Rubeus's spaceship was still visible over the city. I knew from watching the news that the army had been brought in to try to breach its defenses. Of course, they weren't having any luck - no one was. It hadn't stopped them from trying, though. But it meant that people were even more on alert than before, and we would need privacy to be able to do the sailor teleport. Our apartment wasn't big enough. It was times like this that I really, truly missed the Hikawa Shrine. When it was closed to visitors, the shrine had been a beautiful, peaceful sanctuary for all of us. And we probably could have gone there. Yuuichirou and Rei's grandfather wouldn't have sent me away.

But it didn't feel right to be there without Rei. It felt too much like tempting fate. I needed to keep myself in a positive frame of mind, and I didn't want to surround myself with reminders of the senshi. They were already on my mind. I stared blankly out the window as the car drove towards the park, and I kept seeing them and remembering their good nature whenever it came to a battle. Ami and her resourcefulness. Rei and her temper. Mako-chan and her determination. Minako and her cheerfulness. Michiru and her sense of calm. Haruka and her drive. Hotaru and her never ending faith. Setsuna and her knowledge. I wished they were with me so badly that it hurt.

I'd never fought like this before, without them. The knowledge that they would not be coming back afterwards hung heavily on my shoulders. During the fight with Beryl, I'd expected to die so it hadn't mattered so much to me. During Galaxia, I'd been praying for a miracle. But now? There was no point in hoping. Their starseeds had passed into the Cauldron, and they were going to be reborn. Maybe they already had. But they definitely weren't going to be coming back. I bit my lip hard to hold back the tears that pricked my eyes. This was how all of my battles would be from now on, until the senshi grew up enough that they would be able to take their places.

Even then, though, it would never be the same. I didn't know how much thought the Starlights had put into this. But I couldn't help it. I knew what reincarnation was like. Hell, I'd already been through it. My memories of the Silver Millennium might have been a little sketchy, but I knew enough to realize that I was nothing like Princess Serenity. She had been a completely different person from me, raised in different surroundings with different parents. It only made sense to think that the same thing was going to happen this time around. I knew that. I did. But thinking about it didn't bring me very much comfort.

The hand on my shoulder surprised me so much I jumped. As I whipped my head around, I realized that it was Seiya. She was sitting beside me in the back of the car, while Taiki and Yaten and Chibi-Chibi had taken the seats across from us. Taiki was flipping through a poetry book and Yaten was staring out the window. Seiya was watching me. "You looked like you were a million miles away," she said softly. Not accusing, just curious.

"I was," I said, not willing to explain what had been on my mind. But I suspected that I didn't have to; she already knew. It was impossible for her not to be thinking about Princess Kakyuu at a time like this. Once they would have been going to war to protect her. Now it was for my sake.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay."

"I'm fine." I reached up and placed my hand over hers, squeezing gently. I was so grateful that they were here I couldn't even talk about it. It terrified me to think about what might have happened if they had left me here alone. Would I have found the strength to fight against Rubeus? I honestly couldn't say. And that bothered me more than I wanted to admit.

Seiya kept looking at me for a minute longer, like she didn't believe that I was telling her the truth. But she didn't get a chance to press me anymore: the car pulled up right outside the entrance of the park. I opened the door without waiting for the driver and got out. Normally at this time of the day, there would have been a lot of mothers with younger children visiting the play area. Today, I noticed that while there were a few people around the park was pretty much empty. It wasn't hard to guess why: no one wanted to be outside with a giant spaceship floating around.

I had already decided that the easiest place would be the highest point. Coincidentally, it was also the place where we had once said good-bye to Helios. I remembered that time so clearly as we walked up the path. Chibi-Usa had been so upset, even though she had done a very good job of hiding it right up until she'd climbed into my bed that night. Normally I pretended that it annoyed me when she snuck into my bed, but that night I'd held her and rubbed her back while she cried herself to sleep.

"Helios," I whispered, looking out over the city. It would have been a beautiful sight if it weren't for the fact that Rubeus's spaceship was visible. It was one hell of an ugly eyesore. "If you can hear me right now, we could really use your help."

I didn't know what I was expecting. Helios to appear in a flash of gold light, maybe, or Pegasus to come swooping in on a pair of white wings. Either way nothing happened, and after a couple of minutes had ticked by I started feeling pretty stupid just standing there. Sighing, I turned around and took out my locket. "It doesn't look like he can hear me," I said, wishing I had the Crystal Clarion.

"Then we'll just have to take care of this ourselves," said Seiya, a wicked glint in her eyes. "_Fighter Midnight Power_ -"

"_Healer Dawn Power_ -"

"_Maker Twilight Power_ -"

"_Moon Eternal_ -"

"_Make-Up_!" we shouted together.

It was a good thing that no one was around, because the resulting flash of light probably would have blinded them. As it faded away, I stretched my wings out. Right away I noticed that both Maker and Healer had upgrades to their uniforms, just like Fighter did. Only theirs were done in violet and a yellowy green color, respectively. I wanted to take the time to stop and admire them, but I knew that we had to get going. Rubeus might be able to sense the fact that we had just transformed. I did not want him bringing this fight to Earth.

"Alright," I said, and that one word made Fighter, Healer, Maker and Chibi-Chibi snap to attention. All four of them looked at me so intently that it was unsettling. "We're going to teleport onto the ship. Join hands. Chibi-Chibi, you stand in the middle." I reached out and took Fighter's and Healer's hands. It was a little weird: I was conscious of the difference in material, but the strength of the grip was the same.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. After a couple more, I sensed that the others were breathing in tandem with me. I took that as the sign to drop the walls on my magic. It bubbled up through my veins, rich and strong and _burning_, and I tipped my head down against my chest as it trickled down my hands. It encountered resistance there, and I knew that it would. The others had never done this before, and it was new territory for them to let someone else's magic in.

I was calm about it, gentle. I remembered the first time that I'd tried to do this with Sailor Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Venus and how it'd felt foreign to have alien magic that was at the same time familiar sliding through me. It'd got easier every time we did it after, but the first time always stuck out in my mind. I let myself open to their magic, inviting Healer and Fighter in, and through them came Maker because their magic was similar enough that it was easier.

Coolness and light danced across the backs of my eyelids and I gasped softly, because it was like being in the middle of a meteor shower, every bit as fantastic and brilliant and it made me feel like I was floating. Their magic curled around me almost lazily, sliding against and around the ginzuishou, and I could pinpoint the second when things changed: when it started to accept them the way I wanted it to, needed it to, and the resulting wave of warmth was so strong it made me shiver. I heard Healer gasp and then the whole world changed, twisting, like I was being squeezed through a narrow tube before plunging into cold water.

My eyes flew open. We were no longer standing in the park. Instead, we were in a dark room that stank of musk and tasted of rust. I licked my lips and looked around slowly. It wasn't anywhere that I had been before, but that didn't mean I didn't know where we were. "We made it," I said, and my voice sounded rough. "Open your eyes, you guys, we're here."

Fighter obeyed my command, but she didn't seem to be interested in looking around. Her eyes were glued to my face. "Odango," she said, breathless, "that was - what was that?"

"The power of the ginzuishou," I told her. I didn't mean to sound like I was bragging, but I was proud. They'd seen it before, but never experienced it. All of my concentration had been focused on Chaos and Galaxia that day.

"It's very strong," Maker said. Only she didn't say it like she was impressed, she said it like she was already thinking about some tests that she might like to run. She sounded exactly like Ami. I couldn't hide my smile that time. For once, I didn't even care that she might have meant she was comparing me to Kakyuu. I was just happy that our attempt to teleport had actually worked, and no one had been left behind.

"Yeah, it is." I leaned down and picked up Chibi-Chibi. It was times like this that I missed Mercury's computer. She could have scanned the area around us and told us exactly where Rubeus's main power source was coming from. Without it, we had to guess. But at least I could make it an educated one. I was pretty sure that we'd been on the top level of the ship the last time we fought Rubeus. The towering ceilings shaped like spikes, just like the outside of the ship, had given me that clue. I was pretty sure we had to head up.

Healer nodded when I told them that. "It's as good a guess as any," she remarked. "Besides, I can feel a strong power coming from somewhere directly above our heads. It feels very similar to what Rubeus emits, but different."

I looked at her for a minute in surprise. I didn't know Healer could do that. I was curious for more details, but I knew that now wasn't the time. "Different like how?"

She screwed her face up in concentration, then shook her head. "I can't tell. It feels deeper, darker. Definitely stronger."

"I see." I hoped what I was thinking didn't show on my face: that Rubeus had been plenty strong enough already, and that I was praying he hadn't got help from anyone else. Chibi-Usa and I had destroyed the Doom Phantom, hadn't we? I swallowed. Only one way to find out. "Let's go."

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	42. Chapter 42

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I think this chapter will surprise a lot of people. Enjoy!

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The Starlights refused to let me go first, insisting that it was too dangerous for me to take the lead in case something jumped out at us from the front. So Fighter went first, because she was stubborn like that. I went second, with Healer walking right beside me, and then Maker brought up the rear. If I counted Chibi-Chibi, I was surrounded on all sides. There was something about that which made me feel warm even as I worried about their safety. I was slowly growing to realize that there was a flaw in my plan that I had not anticipated: I was terrified by the thought of something happening to one of them - or worse, to all of them. Selfish though it might have been, I couldn't help thinking that if they all died I would truly be alone.

Perhaps that's why I didn't see or hear it coming. I should have been paying more attention to our surroundings than agonizing over what might happen. As it was, the bright flames took us all by surprise. Fighter swore loudly and threw her arm out to stop our progress as the flames quickly spread into a ring that surrounded us on all sides, forcing the four of us into a tight circle. I stood with my back to the Starlights and stared hard at the flames, trying to see past them to what might be waiting on the other side. But that was easier said than done. Beyond the brightness of the fire, everything was dark and murky. The hall was filled with shadows that seemed to waver and dance.

The flames were close enough that I could have reached out and touched them if I wanted to. But they did not get any closer, maintaining their distance, and I knew that whoever had cast this spell had great control over their power. Containing fire was not something easily done, I knew that much from Sailor Mars. It had to be a strong creature, and that made me nervous. But there was something else. I squinted at the fire, momentarily ignoring whatever lay beyond, and tried to think of what it was. There was something about this situation that seemed to be intimately familiar. But when had I ever been surrounded by bright blue fire?

"Something's wrong," I said quietly. My voice was barely audible over the sound of the crackling flames, but Healer heard me anyway.

"God, you think?" she said, and I didn't need to look over at her to know that she was probably rolling her eyes. That was Healer: when she was upset or scared she got sarcastic. Instead of making me angry, though, it served to do the opposite. I felt myself calming down, and that's when it finally dawned on me. The fire was not hot. Or rather, it was so hot that it almost seemed to be _cold_.

"Koan," I breathed, the word sticking in my throat.

"What?" Maker said, her head snapping around to look at me.

I started to respond, but I didn't get the chance. Out in the darkness someone laughed, and it was a woman, and I recognized it. My mouth snapped shut, and I felt my stomach curl. I couldn't speak as she stepped out of the darkness, coming just far enough towards the fire that we could see her. She looked exactly the way she had before, dressed in that awful pink and black outfit. But instead of the mark of the Black Moon on her forehead, there was a bright red ruby. The flames danced off it, brightening the color to blood red, and I felt sick.

"Hello, Sailor Moon," Koan said, flipping her hair back off of her shoulders. Her eyes were wide and dazed, but her painted lips were smiling. "Imagine seeing you again, especially here."

"What are you..." I shook my head, unable to finish my sentence. The day that I'd healed Koan, I was convinced that I would never again have to fight her. She'd been so _happy_ living on Earth as a regular human, making her own way in the world, and that was nothing compared to her reaction when her sisters had eventually joined her. To see her here, like this, made me want to throw up.

"Rubeus came to visit us." She made it sound like he'd dropped by for coffee.

"Us?" Fighter said, and she twisted around. "Does that mean - are the rest of you, your sisters, are they here too?"

Koan giggled. "You'll find out," she said in a sing-song voice, which made it pretty obvious that Fighter had guessed correctly. She took a step backwards and disappeared into the shadows again. I couldn't track her, had no way of knowing whether or not she was still there.

"This changes everything," Maker said quietly, glancing around at the flames. "Rubeus isn't working alone. He's got at least one, possibly four, partners."

"Don't call them that," I said, shaking.

"Sailor Moon?"

"They're not his partners!" I turned around, putting the heat of the fire against my back. It made me feel cold all over. "He's brainwashed them somehow, or - or taken over their minds. Koan, Berthier, Petz and Calaveras would never agree to help him, not after what he did to them last time. They were happy here. And I..." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Fuck, I should have done something before. This was exactly what Petz was scared of. She knew he would try to find them. _Damn_ it!"

The Starlights were completely silent. It was so quiet that all I could hear was the sound of the flames. I didn't know if they agreed with what I'd said, or maybe they were shocked by the fact that I was swearing, or maybe they thought I was wrong and the Ayakashi sisters were helping Rubeus of their own free will. But it turned out to be a good thing. If it hadn't been for the fact that all of us were just standing there not speaking, I wouldn't have heard the whisper of high-heeled shoes tapping against smooth stone.

"Get down!" I shouted, dropping to my knees. It hurt, the pain radiating up my thighs, but it was worth it. A gust of bright blue fire roared inches over my head, so close that I swore I could feel the hair on the tops of my odango singeing. We had to get out of here, I realized: like this, we were sitting ducks and Koan would be able to pick us off as she pleased.

Healer must have been thinking something along the same lines, because all of a sudden she stood up and shouted, "_Star Dawn Explosion_!" An arch of jagged lightening formed around her hands, rolling into an enormous ball that was so big it hid her from view. It exploded outwards into multiple, smaller balls of lightening, about the size of my head, that flew out on all sides, extinguishing the fire as neatly as though someone had poured water on them. Healer reached down and grabbed my hand, yanking me to my feet and forward. We stumbled across the line just in time, as the flames roared up behind us even stronger than before. I turned around wildly, searching for Maker, Fighter and Chibi-Chibi. My heart didn't stop thudding until I was sure we were all safe.

"We need to keep moving," Maker said, her eyes scanning the darkness around us. "We don't know when or where the next attack is coming from."

"Sailor Moon, what can you tell us about Koan?" Fighter asked me as we started to run.

Fortunately, I had experience in running and talking at the same time. "She was the youngest sister, came from Crystal Tokyo. Rubeus was using her and the others as his minions so that he wouldn't have to do any work himself, but I'm sure that he was taking all of the glory for it. He made them believe that he was in love with them. This time around, it seems like they're just brainwashed," I explained breathlessly. "Her strongest attack is the one you just saw. It's called Dark Fire, and it creates flames that burn so hot they're cold. Sailor Mars used to be the one who fought with her the most. I didn't - most of the time I was more preoccupied with Rubeus."

"Too bad we couldn't cool her off," Healer muttered. She had somehow ended up as the one who was carrying Chibi-Chibi. It surprised me that Chibi-Chibi did not seem to be frightened by what was happening. She was holding onto Healer's neck tightly, but she didn't look afraid.

"You said you healed them last time. What did you do?" Maker asked.

"I used the ginzuishou. But I had to get their permission first." And oh god, that had been a battle that was hard won. Trying to get Koan, Berthier, Calaveras and Petz to realize that they didn't need dark magic had been nearly impossible. Berthier had almost committed suicide rather than admit she couldn't live like that. I didn't think we were going to be that lucky this time. "I don't think that's going to work. I told you, this time I think they're brainwashed. They're not going to agree to let me heal them, and I doubt the ginzuishou could do that against their will."

"Then we'll fight them," she said determinedly, and I stopped running. It took them a couple of seconds to realize that I'd stopped and then double back to me. Fighter reached for my hand and tried to pull me along, but I resisted. I had to make one thing very clear.

"I don't want to do that," I said.

"Sailor Moon," Maker started.

I cut her off. "No! It's not their fault. They don't know what's going on, and they don't deserve to be punished because someone else took over their minds and forced them to believe that I'm the enemy. I'm not going to stop you from trying to protect yourselves or me, but I won't let you hurt them. Or do anything worse." My throat refused to form the word "kill".

"We're not going to do anything like that," Fighter said gently, clearly knowing exactly what I hadn't said. She was still holding my hand, and now she guided me around until I had to face her. "I know what you're thinking of. Odango, back when you first met us that was the only way we knew of handling the phages. We had no other way of defeating them until you came along with the power to heal them. If there is a way to return your friends to normal, then that's what we'll do."

I stared at her for a moment, studying her face to see if she was telling me the truth, before I looked at Healer and Maker. I wanted to believe them but I'd never been able to make myself forget the first time we met, when I had to stop them from killing that phage. Still, they had changed a lot over the past few months. And Fighter was looking at me with so much confidence. "I believe you," I whispered.

"Aw, isn't that sweet," Koan said.

We all jumped. Fighter yanked me behind her. Koan was standing right in front of us. I didn't know how we hadn't noticed her appearance. "Koan, please," I said desperately, moving just enough so that I could stare at her from around Fighter. "You don't want to do this. Remember how happy you were when you got the chance to be free? You love living on Earth with your sisters. It's everything you've always wanted. Please, try to remember the good times."

"That's not going to work on me. I'm not your daughter," Koan replied, a smirk pulling at her lips, and I jerked backwards. It almost felt like she'd reached out and slapped me. Her smirk grew even bigger and she laughed. "Enjoy your time with your friends, Sailor Moon. It will be your last."

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	43. Chapter 43

**A/N:** Enjoy!

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"My daughter..." The words slipped out of my mouth, and I had to close my eyes for a moment. I did my best not to think about Black Lady. It was easily one of the worst times in my life. Knowing that the whole reason Chibi-Usa had fallen into the clutches of the Black Moon was because she believed that no one loved her - that I didn't love her - haunted me even to this day. Death Phantom had ruthlessly manipulated her, and it was only luck that Neo-Queen Serenity had been strong enough to pull her away from the edge. Chibi-Usa could have been easily lost to us forever. I knew then that Koan might be lost for good, too. Unless I did something about it, she was going to continue to think that this was what she wanted.

"That's right," Koan said, sensing that she had found a weakness. She continued trying to exploit it. "The Rabbit. She was such a poor little thing, so useless until Death Phantom made her into something worthwhile. I never understood why you pulled her back from that. Why you wouldn't let her experience her true potential. And now she's dead, and you'll never know what she could have been."

A blinding fury swept over me, and I found myself stepping out from behind Sailor Star Fighter. "Koan, you don't know what the hell you're talking about," I said forcefully, and she looked a little surprised. A little uncertain. It gave me hope. "Chibi-Usa is the most important thing in the world to me, and if you think that I was going to just let Death Phantom poison her mind you're even crazier than I thought. She wasn't experiencing her true potential. She was being used as a carrier for dark energy, just like you are! Do you really think that Rubeus is going to do any of the things that he promised you? What did he tell you - that you remembered wrong? That I cleansed you against your will?" I gave a bitter laugh. "It took me days to recuperate every time I healed one of you. Why would I do that against my will?"

Koan actually took a step back. "Rubeus said -"

"I don't care what Rubeus said!" I yelled, losing my patience entirely. "This isn't what you wanted. I don't care what lies Rubeus fed you and your sisters. I know that you're only saying these things because of the dark energy that he put inside of you. This is exactly what you and your sisters were afraid of, don't you remember?"

"Then why didn't you stop him!"

That stopped me. I looked at her. "What?"

"If you care so much, why didn't you stop him?" Koan demanded. "You talk a lot, Sailor Moon, but when it comes right down to it you and your precious little senshi _don't do anything_. You fight only when you have to, and you didn't make any move to stop Rubeus until he threatened your town. We begged you to do something and you did nothing! Why shouldn't we join the winning side if you're not going to take a stand?"

I kept staring, utterly speechless. I couldn't think of a single thing to say, but I knew she was waiting for a response. "Koan... It's not like that. I - you know that I would never let Rubeus do anything to this town, or to you guys, if I could do something to stop it."

"So why didn't you? Why did you wait so long?"

I had no answer for her. I couldn't explain about Chibi-Usa, because I didn't want Rubeus to know that I was pregnant. And I couldn't tell her that I had been afraid, scared of fighting without my senshi and worried about losing the Starlights. I knew how selfish that would sound. All I could give her was excuses, and that was not what she wanted to hear. Koan's face darkened the longer that we stood there in silence, and she glared at me with so much anger I couldn't help cringing.

When she threw her hands out, I was ready. We all were. We scattered, the blue flames hissing at the air where we had just been standing. I hit the ground hard on my side and rolled onto my back, one arm protectively cupping my stomach. Koan was hovering over me before I had the chance to get my bearings back, and she reached out one hand and clasped it around my throat. Finding myself without air was never something I wanted to experience again; Endymion had done this once when he was under Beryl's influence, and it would have given me nightmares had I not forgot all about it right after and not remembered for nearly a year. I suspected I wouldn't be forgetting this any time soon.

"Die," Koan hissed, her face so close to mine that it was all I could see. I was stunned by the depths of pain in her eyes. Her hand squeezed around my neck and I choked, bringing my free hand up to grab at her wrist. Though I was able to get a good grip, I wasn't able to pry her hand free. She was holding on too tightly. Her nails were beginning to dig into the side of my throat, and I could feel coolness that meant I was bleeding. Black spots started to flash in front of my vision.

All of a sudden, Koan went stiff. Her eyes glazed over and then fluttered shut, and then her whole weight came crashing down on top of me. I gasped for breath, both from the choking and from being crushed. Almost immediately she was being lifted away, and I rolled onto my side and brought my knees up against my chest as I panted. My lungs were throbbing from a lack of air, and it took me a couple of minutes of deep, steady breathes before I felt like I wasn't going to faint. Only then did I realize that Maker was crouched over me, saying my name over and over in a low, worried tone.

"Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon, are you alright? Can you hear me?"

"I'm okay," I said hoarsely. I should have been expecting it, but it was still a surprise to hear how raspy my voice was. I tried to sit up and couldn't, my body too weak from the shock of what had happened. She reached out and put her arm around my shoulders, gently lifting me into a seated position.

"Tilt your head back. Let me see," she said.

I did as she ordered, and even though I was prepared for her to touch me I still flinched at the feeling of her fingers on my bruised flesh. Maker stilled, her jaw tightening, and only continued when I gave a short nod of confirmation. She kept her touch light, feeling around to make sure that nothing was openly wrong. She paused at the scratches on either side of my neck, and I felt her brush at the blood. When she took her hand away, her glove was smeared with it.

"Am I going to live?" I asked. It was meant to be a joke, but she didn't take it that way.

"_You _will," she said with an inflection I did not like.

"Maker, no," I said, catching her arm. I looked into her eyes, making sure that she knew I was dead serious about this. "You can't hurt Koan. I told you, she doesn't know what she's doing." I had my doubts about that, just a little. But this was so familiar to me. Death Phantom had manipulated Chibi-Usa's anger and despair over what had happened to Neo-Queen Serenity and Crystal Tokyo, magnifying them until that was all she could think up and it controlled her completely. I had the feeling that the same thing had happened to Koan and the others. It still wasn't their fault.

"She tried to kill you!" Maker said.

"I know she did, but this is all part of being a senshi. Whether she comes after me with her hands or with fire, it's all the same," I pointed out. I knew that didn't really make it any better, but it was the truth and I knew that Maker would see that. "Look, can't we just tie her up and make sure that she doesn't come after us again? I don't know if I can get through to Koan or the others, but if we can get rid of Rubeus that should be enough to solve the problem. He's the source of all of this."

She wasn't pleased about it, but she agreed. She helped me to stand up and I turned to see that Fighter and Healer were crouched over Koan, ready to strike at the slightest sign that she was conscious. They'd heard me talking, so they knew I was alright. But I still stepped closer to Fighter and allowed her to pull me into her arms. She seemed to need to touch me to know that I was really okay, and honestly I didn't mind the comfort. In spite of my proud words, I was trembling with the knowledge of how close I'd come to death.

"What can we tie her up with?" Healer asked. "There's nothing here."

"Just tear off a part of that stupid skirt," I said. It was fashion travesty, so it wasn't like anyone was going to miss it. We'd be doing Koan a favor. "The material should be strong enough that she won't be able to escape. Just make sure you tie it really tight."

Healer shot me a smirk that said all too clearly that I wouldn't need to worry about that. "Got it," she said, taking hold of Koan's skirt and ripping it easily in two. Her pink jumpsuit was left intact, but Maker and Healer made quick work of the fluffy skirt. I watched as they started binding Koan's hands and feet, but then Fighter put a hand on my cheek and brought my face back to hers.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked, her eyes running up and down my body like she would be able to see something that Maker had missed. "I'm so sorry, Odango. I should have gotten to you sooner, but when she pushed us aside I hit the wall and I didn't get up as quickly as I should have."

"Fighter, it's fine." I was worried now, too, but I knew that she wouldn't admit to anything being wrong even if she was dying. I didn't see any blood, though, and that made me feel a little better. I put a hand over hers, pressing it lightly into my cheek. "_I'm_ fine. I'm telling you the truth. Yeah I was starting to black out a little bit, but that comes with the territory." I gave her my best reassuring smile. Truth be told, my whole neck was still hurting an awful lot. Every time I spoke it felt the way it did when I was sick, like someone was scraping over the inside of my throat with a fork. But I didn't see any point in telling her that. It wasn't like they could do anything.

Fighter watched me for a minute longer before she sighed. "When we get out of here, you're going to the hospital."

"I'll go if you do," I replied, already knowing that there probably wouldn't be a point. We healed fast, particularly when we were transformed, and I suspected that within a couple of days the bruises would no longer be visible. Of course, depending on how much energy I had to expend that might not even be a factor - and judging by how strong Koan was, that was beginning to look more likely. I tried not to let that thought show on my face.

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	44. Chapter 44

**A/N:** Enjoy!

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The thing about running blindly down the hall was, we were too involved in watching everything around us to make sure that nothing snuck up on us. Did that make sense? Probably not. We left Koan behind in the hall once we were sure she was securely tied, and I hoped that Berthier, Calaveras and Petz would be too involved in their own ploys to bother going back to free her. The five of us kept going, moving in the same formation as before. I was carrying Chibi-Chibi, and the three Starlights were spread out around us. At the slightest hint of something changing in the air, one of them was right there to see what was going on.

In retrospect, maybe we should've been holding hands. Or stayed closer to each other, I didn't know. What I did know was that one minute I was running up a platform with my friends right beside me, and the next the bottom dropped out from underneath them and they were gone. I was so shocked I tripped and fell hard on my knees. Because I was holding Chibi-Chibi, I could only catch myself with one hand. It wasn't enough and my shoulder slammed hard into the floor, my cheek skidding off a second later. I did manage to keep Chibi-Chibi safely above the ground, though, and for that I was thankful.

I stayed where I was for about two seconds, my mind trying to process what had just happened, before I bolted upright and looked around. I was just in time to see three holes that were sealing over. I cried out and threw myself at the closest one, trying to get there before it shut, but I was too slow. By the time my hand made contact with that space, there was no way to tell that it had ever been anything other than a floor. It remained solid even when I set Chibi-Chibi down and pushed and pounded on it with both hands.

"Oh my god," I said, my heart pounding as the realization that we were now alone swept over me. My shoulder was throbbing badly, and my cheek stung from the movement of my jaw when I spoke. Chibi-Chibi whimpered and stared at me with big eyes from where she was sitting, and I pushed myself up and grabbed her off of the floor. I did not want the two of us to be separated if the same thing happened.

Chibi-Chibi wrapped one of her tiny hands around the back of my neck, avoiding the worst of the bruising that Koan had done. Her other hand patted my cheek gently. "Don't cry," she whispered.

I hadn't realized until that moment that I_ was_ crying, but she was right. Tears were sliding down my face without my permission. It hurt where they rolled over the raw skin on my cheek, but that pain was easily ignored. I turned my head into her curls with a muffled sob, pressing my face against her soft hair. It felt a little like a kitten's fur, like when I used to lay in bed and put my cheek against Luna's fur when I was upset. She would wash my forehead with her tongue and purr, the rumbling sound enough to ground me from whatever new horror I was facing. I missed Luna so much right then that it was like a physical hole had opened up in my chest.

I wasn't sure how long I stood like that, crying into Chibi-Chibi's hair. It was all just _so much_. But finally, the knowledge that I was being a baby got through the anguish that was making me want to curl up. If Fighter had been there, I knew she would've been telling me that I needed to keep going. Giving up was not the way to victory. I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of lime and vanilla and honey: Chibi-Chibi had been bathing with Yaten again. Then I lifted my head.

The worry on Chibi-Chibi's little face made me feel guilty. I said, "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to lose it like that."

She smiled at me. "It's okay, Mama."

The word jolted me, I had to admit. Chibi-Chibi had never called me that before. I started to say that I wasn't her mother, but I stopped. Because I was, wasn't I? Who else was going to take care of Chibi-Chibi? She had no real parents, no one else to worry about her. To the rest of the world, she didn't even exist. I'd known all of that before, but hearing her say it was a little frightening. I couldn't help thinking about what happened to my last child. I prayed I would be able to do better by this one and forced a smile.

"I'm sure that the others are fighting right now," I went on. I had to believe that. I couldn't let myself dwell on the fact that they might be dead already, that those holes could've ejected them right off of the ship or led them down to the incinerator or something equally horrible. "So that means we have to, too. I can't give up. That's the last thing everyone would want me to do."

I turned to face the dark corridor again. Nothing had really changed, leaving me with the impression that for all the running I'd been doing I wasn't getting anywhere. But I had noticed that the slope of the ground was gradually getting higher, so I was almost positive that I hadn't run into some sort of a trap. Besides, where else could I go but forward? So I started walking again, this time with one eye on the floor just in case it decided to open up again and a much tighter grip on Chibi-Chibi. But it remained solid under my feet.

And gradually, the darkness started to become a little bit lighter. A red haze settled over everything, but at least I was able to see. I realized that I was walking up what might have been a staircase, had there been stairs, and we emerged from a hole in the floor into an enormous room. It looked chillingly familiar. I recognized the crystal spikes that made up the surroundings as the ones that had kept Sailor Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Venus captive the last time we had been here. That meant it was also the room where Rubeus had kept his power source. I wondered if he was stupid enough to do the same thing twice in a row.

As far as I could see, we were the only people or creatures in the room. I started walking around the edge of it slowly, searching for anything that might resemble the black ruby Rubeus had been using last time. But there was nothing. I looked at the crystal spikes instead, and I nearly dropped Chibi-Chibi on the floor when one of them flashed a bright shade of blue. I stared into the depths of the crystal, half-expecting to see the city floating below us, and saw something else instead. I gasped.

Berthier and Maker were fighting. She was throwing waves of freezing black ice at Maker, who was dodging them. Berthier was laughing, and I could see that her lips were moving as she spoke, but I couldn't hear anything. I could only watch as Maker abruptly turned and launched an attack that shot straight through the waves, hitting Berthier in the chest. She flew backwards and hit the opposite wall. Maker straightened up from where she'd been bent over with her hands on her knees, and I could see at a glance that she was exhausted and having trouble standing.

Berthier stirred from where she was sprawled on the ground. She was just getting back on her feet when the spike flickered and died. In the next instant I was left looking at my reflection. "No! Maker!" I cried out uselessly, beating my fist against the crystal a couple of times. I had to stop when my hand started to ache with pain, but it did nothing to quell my frustration. My friends were out there fighting, and while I knew they weren't dead there wasn't anything I could do to help them.

"Damn it," I said, closing my eyes against the renewed, hot sting of tears. It was only the fact that I knew it wouldn't help that kept me from crying again. Instead, I turned around. I'd obviously gone in the wrong direction. I'd go back down the hole and retrace my steps until I found the room we'd started in. If I had to, I'd wake Koan up and threaten her until she agreed to tell me how to stop Rubeus.

But the hole was gone. For a minute, I just stood there staring in disbelief. The ground was perfectly smooth, with absolutely no sign of the hole that Chibi-Chibi and I had come through not ten minutes ago. "I'm not going crazy, right? We did come through a huge hole in the floor that disappeared," I said, looking at Chibi-Chibi for confirmation.

Chibi-Chibi looked back up at me and nodded somberly. It was so cute that it almost made me smile. "I don't know what I would do without you," I told her, wondering what I should do next. We were basically trapped and I didn't have a lot of options. I could either keep searching the room and hope that I would find another exit, or I could start throwing attacks at the floor. The problem with that, of course, was that if Rubeus didn't know where I was that would definitely tell him. And I didn't know how much energy it would take to get through, but that could easily tire me out and leave us defenseless if he did show up.

I kept walking. What else could I do? I watched the walls carefully, just in case I got to see Fighter or Healer, and I was rewarded for my scrutiny when after about five minutes a crystal spike about ten feet ahead of me flashed bright yellow. I hurried forward just in time to see the color fade and leave Healer reflected in the depths. She was going head to head with Calaveras, who was holding her whip. Every time that Calaveras lashed out with it, Healer would dodge. She was pretty good at it, too. There was one bright red mark on her left shoulder and that was it, even though the room around them had been pretty much destroyed.

But Healer was beginning to get tired. That much was evident at a glance. She was moving more slowly, and then she stumbled. I wanted to close my eyes and look away, but I couldn't. "Healer!" I shouted helplessly, watching in horror as the whip snapped across the left side of her ribs. Healer doubled over and fell to one knee, clutching at her stomach, and Calaveras pulled the whip back. She was smirking as she said something to Healer, and then she started walking closer.

"No!" I squealed again as the spike flashed yellow, keeping me from seeing what was going to happen next. This was agonizing, getting these short little visions of what was going on but knowing any real detail. But at least I knew that the two of them were okay. I looked around the room, wondering, hoping that I would be able to see Fighter next.

Instead, I saw the last man I wanted to see. Rubeus was standing right in the middle of the room, arms folded, watching me. I had no idea how long he'd been there, but when he saw me looking at him he smiled. "Sailor Moon," he said, "or would you rather I called you Princess Serenity? There is no point in calling you Queen, seeing as how you're never going to make it that far."

"Rubeus." I set Chibi-Chibi down and gently pushed her behind me. "I'm not going to let you do this. I will protect the Earth no matter what it takes!"

"Proud words," he said with a smirk, dropping his hands to his sides. I tensed in preparation for an attack, but he made no move towards us. "What about the death of your precious friends? Would that be enough to deter you?"

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	45. Chapter 45

**A/N:** For everyone who asked where Fighter was, now you'll know. Enjoy!

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Fighting Rubeus was forcing me to draw on reserves of patience that I hadn't actually known I possessed until now. I glared at him with all of the force I could muster and said, as calmly as I could, "I've been told that I should never give up no matter what happens, Rubeus. My friends are the ones who taught me that. No matter _what_ your plan is or how you plan to use my friends against me, I won't let any harm come to the Earth. I know what matters most."

"Proud words, but I'm not sure that you actually mean them," he mocked.

The problem was, he was right and we both knew it. My biggest weakness had always been that I wanted to protect_ everyone_. That was why I'd begged Haruka and Michiru to fight with us when I first met them, because I didn't want anyone to be sacrificed. But I'd learned a lot over the past two years. I knew now that sometimes there was just no saving everyone. The fight with Galaxia had definitely taught me that. And I knew that I couldn't stop fighting just because of Rubeus's threats. The hope that my friends would return had carried me through that last battle, but if I'd given up - the whole universe would have been destroyed. I refused to let Rubeus succeed where Chaos hadn't.

"Do your worst," I said steadily, staring him down.

"As you wish." Rubeus cocked his head, and, when I didn't move, nodded towards one of the crystal spikes. I turned to see what he was looking at and felt my insides freeze up. I'd wondered when I would see Fighter. I'd been hoping that I would, if only because it would be proof that she was still alive. But I was not prepared for what I saw in that crystal.

She and Petz were fighting, and Petz was winning. That was clear at a glance. Fighter was doing her best, and she was spectacularly strong now. But Petz was... there was no way to describe the incredible amount of power she had. It was pouring out of her hands in thick waves of black lightening that flooded the room and left Fighter trapped with no escape. I flinched as the black lightening suddenly shot inwards, and Fighter's body jerked around helplessly as she was caught in the middle of it. I clapped a hand across my mouth, but I couldn't stop the muffled whimper that escaped me when the air finally cleared and Fighter collapsed on the ground.

I felt frozen as the seconds ticked by and Fighter didn't move. I wanted to reach out and gather her into my arms, I wanted to attack Petz for daring to do something so awful. But all I could do was stand there and pray. It seemed to take forever before Fighter's hands twitched, and then she opened her eyes. The sheer amount of relief I felt when she pushed herself into a seated position nearly made me faint, it was so powerful. I knew, though, that she wasn't out of the woods yet. Petz had stood back while Fighter was unconscious - and that surprised me, though I was grateful she hadn't taken her chance to strike again while Fighter was helpless - but now she spoke. And to my surprise, I could hear every word.

"It's pathetic, you know, the way you cling to her. If you knew what Sailor Moon was really like, you wouldn't bother."

"Oh, pray tell, illuminate me as to what you think she's _really_ like," Fighter said sarcastically, rubbing the back of her hand across her mouth. My stomach tightened when her glove came away smeared with blood.

"She's a crybaby," Petz said without pause, more lightening crackling around her hands. "She was supposed to be Queen, but she couldn't cut it. You know the real reason why we're here? It wasn't because the ginzuishou forced us away from the Earth. Neo-Queen Serenity was a flighty, irresponsible wimp who thought that everything could be puppies and rainbows all the time. She had no idea what it meant to run a country, much less the whole world. And when things went to hell, rather than trying to figure out what was really going on she just banished some of us to Nemesis."

Fighter just stared at her for a moment, like she was waiting to see if Petz was going to say anything else. Then she said, "Maybe you're right" and I thought I was going to throw up. "Maybe Neo-Queen Serenity was like that. I didn't know her, so I can't say for certain. But I have to say that I find it impossible to believe that Sailor Moon would ever turn into someone like that. When I came to this planet, she went out of her way to find out why I was here instead of just turning us away."

Petz started to speak, but Fighter cut her off. "But hey, for argument's sake let's say that you're right and Neo-Queen Serenity_ was_ a horrible ruler. That doesn't mean you have to take your grievances out on Sailor Moon. It's not her fault. She's not Neo-Queen Serenity."

For the first time, Petz actually looked a little uncertain. The black lightening started to die down. "But someday she will be," she pointed out.

"How do you know that? As far as I know, Tuxedo Kamen is dead," Fighter replied, slowly getting to her feet. "That means Sailor Moon won't be the ruler of the Earth, right? There won't be any royal marriage to set Crystal Tokyo into place. So you're basically taking your anger out on someone who is innocent. More than that, you're taking it out on someone who has given you a home for the past year: someone who protected you and did everything she could to make sure you and your sisters had a happy life. I'm not going to stand here and fight with you about what happened in the future, because I don't really know. But I do know that Sailor Moon is _not_ Neo-Queen Serenity, and this Earth is _not_ Crystal Tokyo. What you're doing is wrong."

"Fighter..." I whispered, stunned. I'd never heard anyone defend me so passionately. The things that she and Petz were saying was leaving me reeling. Chibi-Usa had always made Crystal Tokyo sound like a beautiful utopia, something that we should all strive towards. I had never thought to question her about whether or not that was really true; I just took what she said and everything else we had learned about the future for granted.

But maybe she'd been wrong. Chibi-Usa was, after all, just a child. And when things had been happening with the Black Moon family, she'd been a baby. Maybe things in Crystal Tokyo hadn't been as good as she thought. I put a hand to my head, realizing that I no longer knew what to think, before I turned back to Rubeus. The look on his face was one of sheer rage, and I knew in a flash that he was furious that Fighter was talking some sense into Petz. That wasn't what he'd been planning on me seeing at_ all_.

The crystal spike we'd been looking into suddenly flashed red and faded, but that no longer surprised me. I said quietly, "She's right, you know. I'm not Neo-Queen Serenity, Rubeus. And now I never will be. Prince Endymion is dead. Crystal Tokyo will never come to pass."

"You think that matters to me?" Rubeus demanded, and the force of his glare was so strong that I couldn't stop myself from wincing a little. "You may not be Neo-Queen Serenity, but you have still fought against us. You destroyed what was left of the Black Moon. You tried to kill me." His mouth lifted into a terrible smile. "And what's more, I know that you are carrying the Rabbit."

I took a step back without intending to, my hand instinctively clutching at my stomach. I could feel the blood draining from my face. "How... how did you know?"

He laughed at me. It was a horrible sound. "I didn't know for certain until just now," he admitted, and I realized I'd fallen right into his trap. "But I suspected. I was watching you while you were fighting against Koan. When you spoke of the Rabbit, you talked about her in the present tense. As though she still existed. When you were attacked you cared only about protecting your stomach, and when Koan was strangling you, you didn't push her away because you were_ still_ trying to protect it."

God. Every word he said made me feel like I was going to throw up even more. I swallowed hard, knowing that my plan of not letting Rubeus know that I was pregnant had just gone out the window. Something told me that he wouldn't take very well to the whole 'I don't even know if I'm pregnant with Chibi-Usa' spiel because in his eyes, the fact that there was even a chance was too much. I took another step back and only remembered Chibi-Chibi when I felt her hands tightening around my leg.

That's right, I had two children to protect. I stopped and straightened my shoulders. "Regardless of what you think you know, that doesn't change anything," I said with a confidence I didn't feel. "I won't let you destroy the Earth, and I'll do whatever it takes to stop you."

The smirk he threw at me was my only warning before black balls started flying at me from every direction. I spun around and grabbed Chibi-Chibi, clutching her against me as the ground around us exploded. I couldn't stop from crying out as agonizing pain bit into my legs and thighs. I didn't even realize we were airborne until I felt the wind rustling through my wings. I spread them instinctively to help slow our descent, and only fell to my knees once we'd touched down.

It hurt, there was no denying that. I didn't have to look down at my legs to know that they were liberally dotted with bright red burns. I took a split second to be thankful that my fuku came with knee-high boots, and not the heels that some of the other girls had worn, or otherwise I might not have been able to stand. As it was, getting to my feet was surprisingly painful. I started to turn around, only to catch sight of more of those balls out of the corner of my eye. I threw myself to the side this time, just barely avoiding them.

"You cannot run forever, Sailor Moon!" Rubeus shouted. He sounded like he was enjoying this, the bastard. I couldn't see him through the smoke that was billowing through the room, but I could picture the smirk on his face and it made my hands itch with the urge to get rid of him once and for all. "You will not be leaving this room alive."

I gritted my teeth at the absolute _arrogance_ in his voice. He was just so certain that this was going to end the way he wanted to. "That's what you think!" I shouted back. I immediately realized my mistake when more bombs hit the ground where I'd just been standing. This time, I banged my elbow hard against the wall and my whole arm went numb. I had to switch Chibi-Chibi to the other side and shake it out, but that just made it even worse: it went all tingly and painful.

"This is what I know," Rubeus said, and then suddenly he was there, looming out of the darkness over the two of us. "If you had given yourself up and allowed me to kill you and the Rabbit without this pitiful fight, I might have let your beloved planet live. But know this, Sailor Moon." He gripped my jaw and made me look into his eyes. It was like staring into two empty pools of black. "When you and your brats are dead, I am going to kill every living thing on this planet. And then I am going to destroy it."

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Please review!


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N:** Hoping to shock you with this one! Enjoy.

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"_No_!"

Rubeus just kept looking at me for a moment as the word echoed through the room, and I could almost see the second when it dawned on him that I wasn't the one who had spoken. He pulled back slightly and looked over at Chibi-Chibi, though he didn't let go of me. I'd pushed her away when Rubeus got close enough to grab me, and I'd been hoping that she would run and find some place to hide amongst the debris that now littered the room. I should have known better than that. She was standing about two feet away from us, her little hands clenched into fists, and staring straight at him.

"Are you speaking to me?" Rubeus said finally, and he looked so amused that I really wished I could kick him.

"You will not destroy the Earth," Chibi-Chibi said. Her voice may have sounded young, but there was such a ring of authority in it that it sent shivers down my spine. I had only ever heard her sound like that once before, and that was right after Chaos tried to steal my starseed and Chibi-Chibi had appeared to me to ask that I take her sword and kill him.

"And you think you're going to stop me?" He tilted his head up with a smirk, and then he made a mistake. I didn't know he was going to do it, but as soon as he did I knew that was what Chibi-Chibi had been waiting and hoping for. He let go of my chin and pushed away from me, putting just enough distance between us so that I could move. Chibi-Chibi glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, just quick, and I nodded.

I hadn't yet had the opportunity to use the staff that Helios, Fighter, Maker, and Healer had helped me to create. It was always there, a low hum in the back of my mind for whenever I might need it, but the moment had never been right. Now it was. I threw my hand out to the side as I staggered to my feet, summoning it in a flash of white light. Rubeus started to spin back around to face me, but he was too late. "_Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss_!" I yelled, throwing everything that I could come up with into the attack.

Rubeus wasn't expecting it and I hit him dead on. I felt a surge of vicious pleasure as he was blasted off of his feet and into the wall on the far side of the room, and I kept it up until his body flickered and then vanished.

Only then did I allow myself to stop the flow of magic. Without it, I realized that I didn't have the strength to stay standing. I slumped slowly to my knees, breathing heavily, and put my staff down because it weighed too much for me to keep holding it right then. My arm had been numb from where I'd hit the wall, but a couple of times enough pain got through that I knew I'd probably broken something. I'd been able to ignore it while casting my attack because the magic dulled the pain, but now it was aching fiercely.

"Are you okay?" Chibi-Chibi asked as she ran towards me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, though I probably didn't_ look_ like I was okay. I was amassing bruises and broken bones and burns at an alarming rate. I looked around the room, realizing that I wasn't the only thing that wasn't in great shape. Rubeus's bombs had definitely left their mark, including a few holes in the floors. I got to my feet. I had no idea where Rubeus was, but I knew that my attack had not been strong enough to kill him. He'd just teleported away and we had to move before he came back. "Come on, Chibi-Chibi."

I gave Chibi-Chibi my staff to carry and then picked her up, because I knew she wouldn't be able to keep up with me on foot. She was just too small. I walked over to the nearest hole and peered through. The next floor down was about twenty feet below. It would've been too far for anyone else, but fortunately I happened to have wings that would make that drop a lot more feasible. I sat down on the edge of the hole and spread my wings before I pushed off. We hit the ground below a little harder than I'd been hoping for, but it wasn't too bad.

We were left standing in the middle of a corridor, though it was a different one from before. I didn't know whether it would be better to go left or right. Both ways looked exactly the same. "What do you think? Which way should we go?" I asked.

"How about this way?" That was the only warning I got before Rubeus's arm wrapped around my neck and yanked me backwards. I screamed and dropped Chibi-Chibi. My staff vanished before it could hit the ground, but poor Chibi-Chibi wasn't so lucky. I heard the thud and then the sound of her beginning to cry, only I couldn't do anything about it. I was tugging at the arm around my throat but Rubeus was just too strong. It was like trying to push a car up a hill, useless. I gave up on trying to get him to loosen his grip and started jabbing at him with my elbow, aiming for his belly or groin. Rubeus just chuckled in my ear and tightened his grip until I had no choice but to go limp because I couldn't breathe.

"How does it feel, Sailor Moon?" he hissed in my ear. "To know that you are so close to death, and that you have only yourself to blame?" He lessened his grip just a little, giving me a split second to gasp for air, before he tightened it again. It was a cruel and frustrating game. He might have done it forever, but all of a sudden he stiffened and let go just enough that I could breathe unhindered.

"Sailor Moon!"

For a moment, I thought for sure that I was hallucinating from a lack of air. I forced my eyes to open and realized that no, what I'd heard was real. Sailor Star Fighter was standing about twenty feet away from us, and even more surprising than that was the fact that Petz was at her side. I couldn't say anything in response, but I knew that my relief at Fighter's presence was more than conveyed on my face. She looked pissed, for one thing, and I knew that Rubeus was in for a world of pain as soon as he stopped using me as a shield. He must have realized that, because he took a step backwards and twisted until my body was fully in between him and Fighter.

"Don't come any closer," he said, his hot breath gusting over my ear, "or I'll snap her neck."

"Rubeus, stop this," Petz said, spreading her hands to prove that she wasn't any danger to him. "You must know that you won't be able to win this way. Let Sailor Moon go and leave. Don't ever come back."

There was no way Rubeus was leaving this ship alive. I wasn't sure if Petz was aware of that or not. It didn't matter anyway, because Rubeus certainly didn't believe her. "Why should I believe you? You've never been anything but a disappointment, Petz. You left me for Sailor Moon before, and now that I've given you a second chance I find that you're still trying to side with her!"

"No, I'm not," she replied, just a shade too slowly to be convincing. "Rubeus, _please_."

"Enough!" he roared, so loudly that I flinched. I felt his other hand coming up around my waist, and then the world sort of twisted and turned and there was so much pressure coming down on me from all sides that I really couldn't breathe. It only lasted for a second, though, and then Rubeus let me go. It was so sudden that my legs wouldn't hold me up and I fell to the floor, gasping for air. I couldn't help tensing up, expecting an attack at any moment, but the seconds kept ticking by and nothing happened.

At last, I found the strength to lift my head. We were in a very small room with more of those crystal spires all around us. These ones were very dark in color, and each one pointed up towards the ceiling where there was a huge, dark red ruby. It was in the same shape as the earrings Rubeus wore, and it was crackling with bright red flashes of light. The presence of evil coming off of it was enough to make me feel ill, but there was no way to get away from it. The room was about twice the size of my bedroom, and even when I stood up shakily and leaned against the wall I could see Rubeus on the other side without any problems. It only took one swift look around to confirm that there was no exit. I was trapped with him unless I had the time to make my own through the walls or floor.

"Your whole plan is falling apart around you," I said. My words came out as a broken wheeze, and my throat hurt so much when I spoke that tears came to my eyes. Between Rubeus and Koan, I was certain that my neck had to be one huge bruise. "You can't possibly think that you're going to win, Rubeus. You're all alone, and you're not strong enough to defeat us all by yourself. You would have already if you could."

"Proud words considering that you also lack the power to defeat me," Rubeus said with a smirk. "But unlike you, Sailor Moon, I have untapped resources." He raised his hands towards the ceiling, and I noticed that the flashes of light around the ruby in the ceiling started to get even brighter. "The closer I am to my power source, the stronger I become. You, on the other hand... You look very tired, little princess, and your original attack wasn't able to do anything more than singe me. What makes you think you'll be able to do anything more now, when you're exhausted and beaten?"

"I am not beaten," I said immediately, because if there was one thing I would never allow myself to do it was give up. The memory of the last time I had tried to accept defeat still haunted me, and the determined words that the Starlights had said that day stayed with me. As long as I did not give up my friends were still with me, and I knew what they would want me to do. I raised my hand and put it over my locket, feeling the warm power that stirred under even that simple touch. I called to it and felt it flare in response. The top of my brooch vanished, revealing the ginzuishou underneath. The sweet shining light was a comfort. "And I will never give up, Rubeus. Even if I have to die to stop you."

"That won't be necessary," a voice said, right before a golden light shot across the room and straight into the ruby above us. The effect was immediate: Rubeus crumbled to his knees with a strangled scream, one hand clutching at his heart. At first I thought Fighter had followed us, but then a spray of familiar white feathers flooded the room. Several of them came close enough to caress me, and where they touched me - even though some of the damage remained - I no longer hurt.

"Pegasus!" I said, hardly daring to believe that he would have shown up right when I needed him the most. I couldn't even begin to convey how relieved I was as I spun around to face him. What I saw stopped me in my tracks. I stared, wondering if I was seeing things, and this time my voice was broken for a completely different reason when I whispered, "Chibi-Usa?"

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Please review!


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N:** Enjoy (and I hope this makes sense).

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Chibi-Usa - no, Sailor Chibi Moon smiled at me. She was standing beside Pegasus, one gloved hand resting on his mane. Her body was see-through, just like it had been that time when she was fading away because Mamo-chan was under Nehelania's control, but she seemed to have no trouble standing. I straightened up a little, wondering if she was really there or if I was hallucinating. Maybe Rubeus had choked me for so long that I'd actually fallen unconscious, and I was _dreaming_ that she and Pegasus had shown up.

"You're not dreaming," Pegasus said. He wasn't actually speaking, of course, being that he was a horse, but the golden horn on his forehead was glowing and I knew that the words were being sent to me telepathically by way of the golden crystal instead. "I'm sorry that it took me so long to come to your aide, Princess. I heard you calling for me, but I was otherwise occupied at the time." He turned his head just enough that he could nuzzle Chibi Moon's side. Even though she was see-through, he could touch her with no problems.

"But... how?" My throat was so dry that I could barely force the words out. I couldn't stop looking at Chibi Moon. She was a little bit older than the last time I'd seen her. I guessed that she was probably around fourteen, the age I was when I first transformed into Sailor Moon. Her hair was longer and she was taller, having finally lost the lingering bit of baby fat in her cheeks. She was beginning to have a fairly strong resemblance to Black Lady, and I could easily see the adult that she was well on her way to becoming.

"You called me here, Mommy," Chibi Moon said, her smile only growing wider. Her crimson eyes were bright with tears as she started to cross the room towards me. "I was sleeping when Pegasus woke me up and told me what happened with Galaxia and Chaos, about Daddy and the other senshi. I thought that meant I would die. But the ginzuishou... it heard your wish for me to survive. And it brought Daddy to you so that you guys could make it happen." She was blushing a little, and I could tell she felt awkward.

"So you mean... I really am..." I touched my stomach, hardly daring to believe what she was saying.

She nodded. "That's right. That baby is me. And someday, when you give her - me the pink moon crystal and I transform into a senshi for the first time, I'll remember everything."

"You'll... thank god." I closed my eyes. It was a struggle for me to absorb everything that she was saying. I'd been hoping for so long that hearing it confirmed was almost too much. My hands were shaking as I looked back at her. "But then how can you be here? I don't understand."

"It's just my spirit. I came to help you defeat Rubeus one last time. I'm the reason the Black Moon family came to bother you guys in the first place, so it's my duty to help you stop him," Chibi Moon said. "Once that's done, I'll go back to sleep. Just like Sailor Saturn did while Hotaru-chan was a baby, do you remember? When it's time, I'll wake up again and fight beside you."

It was impossible not to realize what that meant: if I wanted Chibi-Usa back, the daughter that I'd gone through so much with, she would have to become a senshi. Honestly, I didn't know how to feel about that. On the one hand, I knew it was Chibi-Usa's destiny to become a senshi. It was what she was born to do, just like the rest of us. And I was already looking forward to the day when I wouldn't have to hide anything from her because she would simply know. But on the other hand, I hated the thought of her growing up to fight. I wanted the world to be a peaceful one by then, so that Chibi-Usa would never have to know what it was like to make these kinds of sacrifices.

The sound of stone and debris being pushed aside made me jump. I'd been concentrating so hard on what Chibi Moon was saying that I had almost forgotten about Rubeus. I turned to see that he was trying to get to his feet, but he seemed to be in a lot of pain. He was clutching at his belly and breathing hard. The blow that Pegasus had dealt to the ruby above us had obviously done him a fair amount of damage as well, and it was making me think twice about what I should aim for next time. It was true that my attack on Rubeus hadn't done all that much, but I thought that maybe an attack on his main power source might do a lot more. Especially now that I had a new trick up my sleeve, too.

"Rabbit." Rubeus lifted his head and looked at Chibi Moon. His eyes were glowing bright red with rage and I stiffened. "I should have expected that you would show up. You were just as much of a thorn in my side as your damned mother. At least this way I'll have the opportunity to destroy the both of you at once, _and_ I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that this time I got every last bit of you."

"You think you can just do whatever you want," Chibi Moon said, glaring at him. This was the first time she had ever faced Rubeus as a senshi. The last time he'd been around, she was just a scared little girl with no way of fighting. It wasn't that way anymore. "Rubeus, you were always the worst! You got your kicks from frightening little kids and fighting with girls, always trying to find the person who couldn't stand up to you. It's disgusting. The world will definitely be a better place once you're gone."

He laughed at her. "You can say whatever you want to me, but it's not going to make any difference in the end." He finished pushing himself to his feet. I noticed that he was swaying where he stood.

It took me a minute, but I got back on my feet as well. Chibi Moon was close enough to me that when Pegasus moved in front of us, he was able to shield us both. "Enough," he said sternly, the golden crystal flaring with his speech. "This planet and its treasures do not belong to you. They are not yours to destroy. You've had many warnings, and you've chosen to ignore all of them. You deserve what you're about to get, Rubeus of the Black Moon."

I turned towards Chibi-Usa, and our hands came together automatically. Even though I was expecting it, it was still a shock to realize that I could touch her even though I could see the wall behind her _through_ her. "Ready?" I asked, pushing aside the weirdness.

"You bet," she said with a grin. "I've been waiting to get my revenge on Rubeus for years."

I laughed a little and we both held our free hands out at the same time. My staff and Chibi Moon's kaleidoscope formed at the same time. Rubeus started to tense, but he wasn't the one we were aiming at. "_Moon Gorgeous Meditation_!" we shouted together.

Our combined power was so much stronger than anything I would have been able to do on my own. I was awed as I watched the blinding silver light strike the ruby. There was a loud cracking sound, and Rubeus started to scream in pain. It was horrible, and if I could have I would've clapped my hands over my ears to block it out. I didn't dare let go of Chibi Moon, though. I just kept pouring magic into my staff, willing it to work, to be enough, to destroy Rubeus for good so that we could go home.

For a moment, I actually thought that it had. Worked, that is. The ground started to tremble beneath our feet, and I realized that the ruby was starting to shatter. It might have even been enough, but I was too tired. I could feel my strength beginning to slip away and I just couldn't keep it up any longer. The flow of magic gradually trickled to a stop, and I heard Chibi Moon crying out my name as I fell to my knees again. Rubeus was still screaming, and there was a high-pitched ringing in the air as the crack in the ruby grew larger.

Then, suddenly, Pegasus was looming over us. He ducked his head and the golden crystal flashed, but I didn't hear any words so I guessed he must have been talking to Chibi Moon. The next thing I knew, Chibi Moon had her hands on my arms and she was pulling me to my feet. It was so much harder to stand up this time, and I knew I was wobbling dangerously. Fortunately, I didn't have very far to go. Pegasus waited just long enough for both of us to clamber up on his back before he took off, leaping gracefully into the air. He made one circle around the room before he plunged towards the floor.

There was no exit, so I was expecting us to hit. I even closed my eyes in anticipation of a crash. But all I felt was a cool breeze against my face as we passed through harmlessly. And then we were flying through the halls of the ship. Pegasus seemed to know exactly where we were going, so I just curled my fingers around his silky mane and held on. Chibi Moon had her arms around my stomach and I could feel her against my back, but there was no warmth, no heat like you'd expect from a living body. It was an uncomfortable reminder that she wasn't actually there with me.

I estimated that we'd only been flying for about five minutes when Pegasus entered a room and I saw where he was taking us. On the other side of the huge room was Fighter, Maker, Healer, and Chibi-Chibi. The former were standing in a circle, and Healer was holding Chibi-Chibi. Much to my surprise, Petz and Berthier were there too. I didn't see any sign of Koan or Calaveras, though. All of them turned to look at us when the doors burst open, and I knew I'd never forget the looks of complete amazement we got.

"_Odango_?" Fighter said in disbelief, taking a step towards us when Pegasus landed. She stopped, her hands fisting, like she wasn't sure that she was allowed to get any closer.

"Seiya," I said, sliding down and throwing myself at her. It felt so good when her arms went around me that I had to hold back tears. She pressed me against her firmly but gently, always keeping in mind when I was injured, and I heard her breathing catch as Healer and Maker clustered around us.

"You're okay!" Healer said, wrapping her arms around the both of us. "But... how?"

"Pegasus and Chibi Moon saved me," I explained, pulling back just enough that I could see where Chibi Moon was. She'd climbed down from Pegasus, too, and she had knelt and was looking at Chibi-Chibi. Seeing the two of them brought tears to my eyes in spite of my best efforts to hold them back. It was the first time they'd ever met, and it struck me then that they already looked like sisters.

"Chibi Moon..." Fighter turned her head slowly and followed my gaze. "Your daughter? How...?"

"I'll explain later," I replied, knowing that this wasn't the time to get into something longwinded. Frankly, I wasn't even sure that I really understood it myself. "Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine," Maker told me. "Where's Rubeus?"

"Chibi Moon and I pooled our power together, but it still wasn't enough to stop him," I said. "Pegasus took us both away before he could recover. I think..." I looked around at my friends, meeting each of their eyes before I continued. "We're going to have to pool our power and give it everything we've got, every one of us, if we're going to make it out of here alive."

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**A/N:** The reason Sailor Moon and Sailor Chibi Moon used _Moon Gorgeous Meditation_ instead of a spin on the eternal attack is because Chibi Moon does not have her eternal tier, and in my opinion she'd need that to use the more powerful attack.

Please review!


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N:** Enjoy!

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The Starlights were nervous about the idea putting our power together. I knew that without even having to feel the way they all stiffened at the idea. I pretended I hadn't noticed and looked around at Petz and Berthier. The last time I had seen Berthier, she'd been attacking Maker with everything she had. And I thought I remembered seeing Petz with Fighter before Rubeus kidnapped me, but I couldn't be sure. I had been a little preoccupied with the lunatic who was trying to kill me. I didn't see any sign of evil in their eyes, but I had been fooled before. I stared at them warily, waiting for them to make the first move, and finally Petz cleared her throat. What she said was not what I was expecting.

"Princess Serenity... no, Sailor Moon. I'm sorry."

"You're _sorry_?" I raised my eyebrows, startled. What she'd said before about Neo-Queen Serenity rang vividly in my ears, and every word had stuck with me. I'd have to think long and hard about it later when I had the chance. If I had the chance. I raised my chin. "Sorry for what? For letting Rubeus take over your minds again? For trying to kill my friends?"

"That wasn't us!" Berthier protested.

"Don't," Petz said to her, shaking her head. "Sailor Moon, my actions were... not my own. I was angry - I have been angry for a long time at Neo-Queen Serenity and Crystal Tokyo. I think we all have. We buried those emotions, never allowing them to get to the surface. Never imagining that someone like Rubeus might dig them up and exploit them." Her face showed genuine regret, I thought, but... And, as though sensing my distrust, she added, "The things I said were how I really felt. Maybe that's why your friend was able to get through to me with logic."

"It's true, Odango," Fighter said, gently resting her hand on my arm.

I ignored what Fighter said. I'd seen this before with Black Lady. Rubeus might have made said it, but he hadn't made her feel it. "You said that you were mad at me for not dealing with Rubeus sooner," I pointed out. "Part of your anger was directed at me, not my future self. Don't you still feel that way?"

Petz actually blushed. "No, I don't," she said miserably. "I shouldn't have put the burden on you in the first place. You might be the protector of this planet, but... my sisters and I, we could have done a better job of hiding ourselves. We foolishly stayed in Japan when we knew that Rubeus was here. We would have been safer somewhere else, but we didn't want to go."

"We were afraid to go," Berthier said very quietly. "Tokyo is the only place on Earth that we know."

I hadn't thought about it like that. I could feel my anger beginning to melt away, not that there had been much of it to begin with. "I'll accept your apology as long as you tell me the next time you're this mad," I said firmly. "Bottling up frustration doesn't do you any good, Petz. Even if you're angry with Neo-Queen Serenity, I would still listen to you. At the very least, it might help me to keep from making the same mistakes that she did. I'll never be able to learn if people don't tell me what's wrong."

Petz looked at me like she'd never seen me before. "I promise."

"So do I," said Berthier. "And I'm sure that Calaveras and Koan will too, once they get back to normal." She hesitated before giving me a look that was almost shy. "You... you will be able to heal us, won't you? I don't want to spend the rest of my life with all of this dark energy in my body. I keep feeling the urge to lash out at people."

"We will," I said, even though I was starting to have private doubts about that. I'd already put a lot of energy into two separate attacks. I didn't know how much more I had in me. Even with the Starlights supporting Chibi Moon and me, I wasn't sure how much power we would have left over. Rubeus was definitely our primary concern, and if destroying him meant that the Ayakashi Sisters had to put up with dark energy for a few more days then that was just the way it was going to have to be. I didn't say that, though. There was no point in making the two of them worry about something that, unless we hurried up and got rid of Rubeus, might not even be cause for concern.

Like she was hearing the thoughts going through my head, Chibi Moon got up. "We have to do this now," she said firmly. "Rubeus was hurt by the last attack we threw at him, but I don't think it will take very long for him to recuperate. The Black Moon family was always strongest around the dark crystal." She shot me a worried look. "And I'm pretty sure that's what Rubeus had up there, Mommy. A piece of the dark crystal."

"Shit." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I thought we destroyed that thing!"

"So did I, but maybe we missed a piece." Chibi Moon looked as worried as I felt. I knew that we were both thinking the same thing. If there was a piece of the dark crystal that hadn't been destroyed, did that mean there was a chance that Doom Phantom was around? I shuddered at the thought. It was bad enough facing Rubeus all over again. I never wanted to see that horrible old creature ever again.

"Alright," Fighter said. "That's it. We're going to take care of this once and for all. Sailor Moon, just tell us what we have to do to give you our power and we'll do it." She looked at me with so much love and trust in her eyes that my heart clenched. I had no idea what I'd done to deserve Fighter. But whatever it was, I'd do it a thousand times over if she kept looking at me like that.

"It's just like when we were teleporting, only instead of sharing power you're just directing it all to me," I said quickly. It wasn't the best explanation, but it would do. "And you won't be getting anything in return, so it might make you feel pretty empty afterwards."

"Relax," Maker said, putting her hand on my shoulder. She looked a little amused. "If the worst things that comes out of this is us feeling a little empty, I think we can handle it. But will that be enough to destroy him?"

"That reminds me," Pegasus said suddenly. I saw Maker, Healer and Fighter jump, so I knew that they'd heard what he said as well. He turned his head to look at Chibi-Chibi. "Little one, now that we are all gathered you will be able to help. Will you lend Chibi Moon your power?"

"What?" Chibi Moon and I said at the same time.

"Maiden, you will not be able to ascend to your Eternal form as you are now," Pegasus explained, gazing at Chibi Moon. "If you had gotten that far before you died, you wouldn't have a problem. Alas, it would require too much energy for you to do it for the first time as you are now and you would simply fade away before you got that far. But if Chibi-Chibi lends you her power, then your abilities will be increased significantly. You'll be able to use the tier." His gaze flicked towards me. "That, plus the power of your mother and the Starlights, should be enough to destroy Rubeus."

Chibi Moon's eyes widened. "Would you do that, Chibi-Chibi?" she asked.

Chibi-Chibi looked at Chibi Moon for a long time without saying anything, and I was a little worried she might not understand what was going on. But then she smiled. "Yes, I will," she said, clear as a bell.

"Thank you," Chibi Moon whispered.

It was just like the day Chibi-Chibi had granted me a new power: she held her hand out to Chibi Moon, palm up. After only a minute of hesitation, Chibi Moon knelt and put her hand against Chibi-Chibi's. For a couple of seconds, nothing happened. Then I realized that there was a beautiful white light beginning to build around their cupped hands. It was bubbling over so brightly that it couldn't be contained, and as it spilled to the ground I had to look away or risk being blinded.

And then Chibi Moon shouted, "_Pink Moon Eternal, Make-Up_!"

I turned my head back just in time to see the white light being blown away by a pair of delicate pink wings. She was staring at me instead of Pegasus and I felt my breath catch in my throat because she was so _beautiful_. Her fuku was exactly the same as mine, but - of course - it was in dark pink, light pink and red. It really suited her, and it made my little girl look so grown up that it was almost hard to look at her. My throat ached the longer we stood there, and suddenly I wished that Mamo-chan could have been there to see her.

"Eternal Sailor Chibi Moon..." I managed to say at last.

"Mommy," she replied with a cute smile. "Thank you, Chibi-Chibi, Pegasus."

Pegasus inclined his head, and I got the feeling that he was just as overwhelmed as I was. If he'd been Helios, I wasn't sure we would have been able to stop him from tackling Chibi Moon and whisking her away. As it was, all he said was, "When you summon your kaleidoscope, it should change."

Chibi Moon closed her eyes and held her hands up. Her kaleidoscope began to materialize instantly, but Pegasus turned out to be right. It was changing even as it formed, into a tier that looked nearly identical to mine with only a slight change in color - instead of white and red, it was silver and light pink. "It's so strong," Chibi Moon said, looking amazed as her fingers closed around it.

"That's a good thing. We're going to need it," Fighter told her. "Where is Rubeus?"

"It's not Rubeus we're aiming for," I said. "He has another power source. Pegasus hit it with an attack, and I think it weakened him a lot. I think - hope - it works the same way that Doom Phantom and the dark crystal did. Destroy one and you automatically get rid of the other."

"Then I guess we're headed up," Healer said.

"Berthier and I can teleport you," Petz said. She and Berthier had remained quiet until now through Chibi Moon's transformation. I had almost forgotten that the two of them were there. "It will take you too long to get up there even if you run, and Rubeus has got traps all over this place. I doubt that you'd all make it to the top. But with the dark energy in our bodies, we can pass through them with no problem."

I was a little doubtful. I believed Petz when she said that they wanted to be healed, but could I trust her to take us to where the ruby was and not betray us? "Won't that be a big strain on you? I mean, there's six of us now. That's a lot for just two people."

"But there's not just two of us," Berthier spoke up. She pointed behind me, and I automatically turned around to look. I was shocked to see that Koan and Calaveras had come in at some point. The two of them nodded at me. "Between the four of us, we should have enough energy to do this."

"Sailor Moon?" Healer said, turning to me. It was my choice, I knew that. The Starlights would do whatever I told them to do. I hated putting blind trust in the Sisters, but there was no way that Pegasus would be able to carry so many of us. I just hoped that I wasn't going to end up regretting this.

"Alright. Let's go."

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Please review!


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N:** We're getting really close to the end here, just as a heads up. Also, there is character death in this chapter so read with caution.

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Teleporting with Petz felt exactly the same as teleporting with Rubeus had. It left me feeling sick to my stomach and resolving to never do that again unless it was absolutely necessary. It worked, though. Petz and I arrived first, flickering back in the room that Pegasus and Chibi Moon had first found me. The shard of the dark crystal was pulsing with bright red light, staining the walls an ugly color that looked a little like blood. I noticed that Petz flinched when she caught sight of it, and I knew she knew what it meant.

"You haven't seen Doom Phantom around, have you?" I whispered.

"No." Petz shook her head quickly and averted her eyes from the crystal. Her face had gone very pale. "I don't think that he's around. If he is, Rubeus didn't mention him."

That didn't exactly fill me with confidence, but I had no more time to ask her questions. The others were popping into the room now, and then Pegasus appeared with Chibi Moon and Chibi-Chibi on his back. I walked over to the dark crystal and stood underneath it. The amount of power radiating from it was amazing. It was truly no wonder that Rubeus was so much stronger now. Last time, he'd been limited as to how much power and energy he got from the stupid thing. But this time, there was no one to stop him from absorbing it all. How much of himself had he fed into that crystal over the years?

I tilted my head back and looked up at it. I remembered my last encounter with the dark crystal. I remembered holding Prince Demande in my arms as he died a slow, painful death after the encounter with the Doom Phantom. I'd cried for him and he had told me he loved me. I remembered watching Safir as he tried to warn Demande. I remembered seeing Crystal Tokyo on the verge of destruction, the beautiful queen who'd been encased in crystal, the king who had been forced to watch from afar because he was too injured to fight.

So much death, so much destruction, and this was what was left over. A future that would never come to pass and a man that was the sole remnant of that time. I clenched my hands into fists, my resolve to destroy the dark crystal only growing. I had no doubts that Rubeus, his mind now completely warped by exposure to that negative energy, would not stop until the whole world was torn apart. And even then he probably wouldn't stop, he would just keep going until somewhere, someone else in the galaxy stopped him. It would be Galaxia and Chaos all over again. I was not going to let that happen.

"Mommy," Chibi Moon said, walking over to me. She took my hand. Fighter followed her and stood on my other side, our hands coming together naturally. Healer and Maker took up the last two positions in the group. I glanced around at them and tried to ignore the way my heart twisted. It felt right to have Fighter, Healer and Maker here with us, but I couldn't help thinking that this circle should have been a lot larger. The other senshi should have been there too.

"Sailor Moon?" It was Healer, this time, who said my name to get my attention, and I blinked rapidly. All four of them were looking at me, waiting for my command.

"Right," I said. "Sorry." There was no point in explaining what - or rather, who I had been thinking about. I was pretty sure that they probably already knew. I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. "Okay, let's get rid of this stupid crystal once and for all."

"I don't think so," Rubeus said. He flashed into the room as his words echoed eerily. Fighter tensed and started to turn to face him, but I clung to her hand and kept her in place. If we got separated by Rubeus now, the chances of us coming back together weren't very high. He would do whatever he could to keep us away from the dark crystal. We had to stand our ground.

"Enough, Rubeus," Petz said wearily, stepping forward. She actually moved in front of us, spreading her arms as though to keep him away. "Don't you understand that your efforts to destroy this planet will always be in vain? The Earth is a _good place_. We've lived here in peace for several months now and we're happy. It doesn't have to be like this. You could join us, you know. Let Sailor Moon heal you."

I didn't know how I felt about the idea of Rubeus staying on Earth, healed or not, but fortunately it didn't matter. Rubeus just laughed at her. "Live here with these disgusting humans?" he sneered. "Have you forgotten what they did to us, Petz? Not one of them stood up for us when Neo-Queen Serenity decided that we weren't good enough to live here on her precious planet. No, they were all too happy to exile us to Nemesis. You've been swayed to their side through brainwashing. Why is it that you are only good enough to live here when you don't have any power at all?"

"That's not true at all!" Chibi Moon said furiously. "Rubeus, you're completely twisting things around. We healed them of the dark energy in their bodies that was going to kill them!"

"What's the point of living if you don't have power?" he retorted, and then he spread his arms. I knew what was coming and ducked my head, knowing that I couldn't do much more without physically moving away, but as Rubeus let loose with the little exploding balls Petz threw her hands up and dark energy crackled around her. I watched in horror as the energy drew those balls in like a magnet. She took every single one of them to the body, standing her ground the whole time.

"Petz!" Koan screamed, sprinting across the room just as Petz started to slump to her knees. Words couldn't describe how relieved I was to hear Petz moan faintly in reply.

"Is she okay?" I asked frantically.

"Never mind!" Calaveras snapped. "You guys power up. We'll take care of Rubeus." She sounded pretty pissed, and she turned on Rubeus as Berthier and Koan bent over Petz. Her whip lashed across the room and Rubeus scrambled to dodge.

"Hurry," Maker said. "They won't be enough to distract him for long. If we're going to do this, it has to be now."

"Right," I said, my stomach churning. I looked at Chibi Moon and she nodded.

"_Pink Moon Eternal Power_!" she yelled, closing her eyes. Her locket opened, revealing the pink moon crystal, and she started to glow pale pink.

"_Healer Dawn Power_!"

"_Maker Twilight Power_!"

"_Fighter Midnight Power_!"

One by one, the others began to shine as well. The light was getting so bright that I was having a hard time seeing anything other than black spots. I let my eyes slip shut and opened myself up again, feeling the unstoppable rush of power that was flooding into the ginzuishou. The pure strength of the Starlights combined with Chibi Moon's sweet warmth: it made all of my exhaustion and fatigue seem like it was miles away. I felt invincible, like there was nothing I couldn't handle.

I wished that I could have said the same for Berthier, Koan and Calaveras. Petz was in no condition to fight Rubeus. She was still lying on the ground, and even though her head was turned away from us I could hear the watery rasp from her lungs as she fought to breathe. Her sisters were trying hard, but Rubeus was too strong. Too skilled. He had the ability to move around the room so fast that no sooner would one sister attack than he would appear behind another. All they were really succeeding in doing was destroying the room and keeping Rubeus's attention away from us, since every time he teleported near us one of them would immediately strike at him. Fortunately, that was all we needed.

"_Moon Eternal Power_!" I shouted, tightening my grip around Fighter's and Chibi Moon's hands. I could feel the faint echo of pain in my hands and I knew my knuckles had turned white from how tightly I was holding on, but this was it. This was the moment when our fate would be determined. I could feel our combined power beginning to build as the ginzuishou and pink crystal started to work themselves into a frenzy. Raw power whipped around the circle, searching for a convenient spot to strike, and with each rotation it only grew stronger. The light shining from all of us was blindingly white, and I couldn't look anymore. I couldn't even watch to see where Rubeus was. I shut my eyes.

"_Sailor Crystal Attack_!" All five of us yelled together, our voices blending perfectly into one. I felt all of the air leave my lungs in a brutal rush as the power exploded out of me, shooting above my head to hit the dark crystal. It took everything I had to remain standing and somehow, even in spite of the brightness, I found my eyes open. I stared up at the dark crystal and the light that was pouring into it. The light lit the dark crystal up from the inside out, and those cracks I'd noticed before started to tremble. Slowly, they started to widen and light began to spill out through them.

"No!" Rubeus screamed, the sound an agonizing one. He staggered towards us.

"Now!" Pegasus commanded. As he spoke, the golden crystal on his forehead flashed with a beautiful light. A gold beam leapt from his horn and combined beautifully with an attack from Berthier, Calaveras, Koan and... Petz. The attack struck Rubeus in the back, dead-on. He screamed even louder as he collapsed to his knees, a hole neatly blown through his body. He tumbled over onto his side.

Above us, the dark crystal shattered. Little sparkling bits of what looked like black glass started to rain down on us. I flinched, but the bits vanished long before they reached us. When they were all gone and there was no sign of the dark crystal, I glanced over my shoulder at Rubeus. His body was glowing, and as we looked on he started to dissolve. Within a matter of seconds, all that was left of the Black Moon warrior Crimson Rubeus was a small pile of sparkling moon dust.

The silence left behind in the wake of it all made me wonder if I'd somehow gone deaf. I'd become accustomed to thinking over the high-pitched ringing and sounds of battle, and now it seemed eerily quiet. I listened hard and gradually became aware of the sound of my own harsh breathing. "We did it," I said out loud, stunned. I felt a brilliant smile crossing my face as the knowledge truly set in. "We did it!"

"Petz!" Koan cried out again before I could get too excited. My happiness drained as I watched the three younger sisters gathering around Petz. She was crumbled on the ground, but now she was turned towards me so that I could see what bad shape she was in.

"Sailor Moon, please," Berthier begged me. Her pretty face was streaked with tears. "You have to save our sister."

"I..." I wanted to say that I didn't know if I could. I was so tired. I let go of Fighter and Chibi Moon and walked over to them, my legs shaking with the effort of holding me up. I sat down hard beside Petz and gazed at her, overwhelmed.

"No." Petz opened her eyes. It hurt to see how much effort it took for her to do even that. "No, Sailor Moon. It's okay. Don't."

"Petz," Calaveras pleaded.

Petz shook her head very slowly. "No. All this time, I've waited - I can hear Safir calling my name. His voice sounds so sweet." A dreamy smile crossed her face, and then she sighed. She twitched her fingers in a beckoning movement at me and, after a moment of hesitation, I took her hand and bent closer to hear what she had to say. "Please help my sisters," she whispered to me. "Heal them and guide them for me, please. Don't let them spend all of their time wondering over what might have been, like I did."

"I will," I whispered, my throat tight. "Petz, I -"

She shook her head again, silencing me as effectively as if she'd spoken. I could only sit there stunned and helpless as the life drained from her eyes.

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	50. Chapter 50

**A/N:** Enjoy!

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"Petz!" Koan screamed, falling to her knees and grabbing Petz by the shoulders. She started shaking Petz frantically while begging her to wake up. But I knew that Petz wouldn't be waking up ever again. I gently pulled her hand away from mine and set it back down on top of her body, then pushed myself to my feet. My legs buckled and I nearly collapsed, but Fighter reached out and grabbed me before I could end up right back on the floor. I hadn't even seen her approach. I leaned against her gratefully and turned my head away, not wanting to watch while Berthier, Koan and Calaveras mourned their sister.

"We have to leave," Maker said quietly, looking around the room. Like me, she carefully avoided staring at the Sisters. "Without the dark crystal, I don't think this ship will be able to sustain itself for much longer. Rubeus might have built in some sort failsafe."

"Last time it exploded," Chibi Moon said helpfully.

"You could've mentioned that before," Healer said, trying and failing not to sound horrified. "Maker's right. We've got to get out of here."

"I don't know if I have enough strength left to teleport," I confessed. I hated to say it, but it was the truth. It was taking everything I had just to remain conscious. I felt drained to the point where I wasn't even sleepy anymore. I just wanted to lay down on the floor and do nothing. Expending any more power would mean putting too much of a strain on the ginzuishou.

Maker frowned at that. "Then I'm not sure what we're going to do," she said. "The three of us can teleport, but we've never tried to take so many people with us before. I imagine that a lot of the dark power those four... err, those three possess disappeared when the dark crystal was shattered." She looked worried. "I don't think Fighter, Healer and I can take everyone with us, and we can't leave anyone behind."

I felt a surge of pride at that, and I had to smile at her. "We'll think of something."

"You'll have to think fast," Calaveras said, wiping her face free of tears. "The rabbit's right. Rubeus set this place up to explode if the dark crystal was destroyed. I estimate you've only got about five minutes before it goes up whether we're on it or not."

"Seriously, next time mention that _sooner_," Healer snapped.

"Healer," I said, trying not to betray the fact that I was quietly freaking out. Now wasn't the time for us to start fighting amongst ourselves, not when the ship was less than five minutes away from exploding. I put my hand over the ginzuishou and tried to muster up a little spark of power. It pulsed weakly beneath my hand, but the resulting drain made my knees go weak. Fighter grunted as she was suddenly left supporting my weight. I clung to her as I blinked black spots away from my vision.

"Okay, no more of that," Fighter said, locking her arms around my waist. "The last thing we need is for you to pass out - or worse."

"Then what do you suggest?" I replied. I wasn't trying to be mean about it, but I didn't see another option. Pegasus couldn't carry all of us. The Starlights weren't strong enough without me, and Calaveras, Koan and Berthier didn't have the power necessary without the dark crystal. I felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall.

"I have an idea," Chibi Moon said. She'd been standing off to the side the whole time, holding Chibi-Chibi with one arm. Her other hand was resting on Pegasus's mane. "Between me, Chibi-Chibi and Pegasus, I think we could open a gate to Elysian. You could go there. Rest up. And then return to Earth when you felt ready."

The fact that she wasn't including herself in that caught my attention immediately. "You won't be coming with us?"

Chibi Moon sighed. "Mommy, I told you that I was only here to help you defeat Rubeus. Even with Chibi-Chibi's help, my power isn't going to be enough to sustain my presence here much longer."

"Then you should keep it so that you can stay as long as you can," I said quickly. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her again so soon.

She looked at me for a few seconds, and I knew what she was thinking. There was no other choice. If we didn't do something soon, we were going to die here on this stupid ship. If it had been just me, I would have gladly sacrifice myself. But it wasn't. Not only did I have to think about the Starlights, Chibi-Chibi and the Sisters, I also had to remember the people of Earth. I doubted that Rubeus would be the last person who came to attack us in the next few years, considering that there had been a steady stream of evil since Beryl. What would happen to the planet without senshi? It would be destroyed.

I closed my eyes against the tears that stung, but they came anyway. At the same time, I felt a gentle touch on my cheek. Chibi Moon was standing right in front of me, and she was crying too. "Please don't cry, Mommy," she said, her voice breaking. "It's okay. It won't be very long until we see each other again. Only thirteen or fourteen years. Considering the lifetimes we've lived, that's nothing."

I tried to smile. "You're right. And the next time around, you'll really be mine. I won't have to worry about sending you off to the future." I reached out and ran my fingers through her hair. The strands were immaterial against my flesh. It was like trying to touch the wind: I only felt something because I was expecting to. I knew then that Chibi Moon had lost a lot more power than she'd let on, and that the only thing keeping her there was sheer determination. That was really what made my decision. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, Chibi-Usa. I know I'm not really your mother, not yet, but you were always my daughter."

"I love you, too, and you were a better mother to me than I realized. I'm sorry if I ever made you think you weren't. I can't wait to grow up with you, Mommy." She was backing away from me as she talked, and when she got to Pegasus she put a hand on his mane and there was a flash of gold light. When it faded away, Eternal Sailor Chibi Moon was gone. In her place was Princess Small Lady Serenity, wearing a small silver crown from which the pink crystal sparkled. Pegasus had transformed, too. Helios smiled at me, and the sorrow in his eyes touched my heart in ways I couldn't express. He knew exactly what we were saying good-bye to, and no matter how little time passed until we saw her again it would still be too long.

"I hate to break this touching scene up, but we've really got to go now," Calaveras said.

"I won't leave Petz behind," said Koan.

"We can bring her along," Helios told them. "She'll be given a burial in Elysian." He turned to Small Lady and took her into his arms. I could hardly bear to watch when he kissed her gently, just a soft brush of lips before Small Lady reached down and picked up Chibi-Chibi. Seeing the three of them together was a little like looking into the future. I could see the daughter that the two of them would have someday, the family they would build. It gave me the courage to turn my head away into Fighter's shoulder and not interfere.

Time blurred together after that, or at least it seemed to slow down. I was aware of the world turning into a brilliant explosion of light. Maybe that was the ship exploding around us as we disappeared, I was never really sure. The next thing I knew Fighter and I hit the ground on our knees because she couldn't support our combined weight anymore. I kept my face tucked against her for a moment longer before I dared to twist my head and take a peek. The only thing I could see was beautiful, pale green grass and a lovely white horse staring at me with its head cocked, like it was trying to figure out what we were doing.

"We made it," I said.

My voice was the spell that broke the silence, and all around us I heard my friends beginning to sit up and take notice of our surroundings. I leaned back just far enough that I could look up at Fighter. She must have read the question I wanted to ask in my eyes, because her face tightened and she sighed. "She's gone, Odango. I'm sorry."

More tears spilled down my cheeks as I turned around to check for myself. Chibi-Chibi and Helios were alone, standing a short distance away from us. Well, Chibi-Chibi was petting the mane of a nearby horse - unicorn? - and giggling. Helios was standing by himself, looking up at the sky. I couldn't see his face and I wasn't sure that I wanted to. I knew that this had to be incredibly hard on him. Chibi Moon was the one person who had always believed in him, who was pure enough to make that connection and reach out to him when no one else could. I didn't think I had enough strength left for anything, but somehow I found enough to get to my feet and walk over to him.

And as I got closer to him, I felt something change. It got easier to stand, and when I looked down at myself I realized I wasn't Sailor Moon anymore. I was dressed like Princess Serenity. It seemed to fit the ethereal quality of Elysian better, so I didn't really mind too much even though walking in those heels on grass was a lot harder than in my boots. I came up behind Helios and reached out to put my hand on his shoulder. It shocked the hell out of me when he spun around and hugged me.

I'd never paid much attention before, but Helios was actually shorter than me. He only came up to my chest. I stared down at him for a minute, stunned, before I slowly put my hand on his hair. I could feel him shaking and his tears were dampening the front of my gown. It broke my heart. I put my other arm around his trembling shoulders and encouraged him to press even closer, wondering if he'd ever been held like this before. I had never questioned who Helios was or where he came from. Was Chibi Moon the only person who had ever bothered to love him?

"I can't believe she's gone," he said finally, voice muffled so that it was barely audible.

"But she's not gone, not really," I replied. "She's here with us, Helios. Inside of me. And I promise you, I'll do everything I can to make sure she grows up healthy and strong and brave this time around. I'll bring her back to you, I swear it."

He nodded his head but he started to cry harder, and I couldn't do anything but stand there and hug him and hope that someday I'd be able to keep my promise.

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Please review!


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: **Recently I got a comment from someone complaining that I don't always answer reviews. And that's true, I don't. But it's not because I'm ignoring you, or because I don't read them. I love reviews and I appreciate every single one more than you know. It's because I'm busy. I spend a good percentage of what little free time I have writing, and a lot of the time it comes down to you can either get a response to your review or you can have a new chapter on Friday. I figured most of you would choose to have a new chapter. If you have something you_ really_ want to talk to me about, you can always PM me and I'll do my best to answer, but please don't take the lack of response to your review as an insult. I'll try to be better about responding, but it won't always be possible.

On that note, there will be no update on Friday, August 9th, because my parents are moving and I'll be out of town.

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I slept for a long time after the battle. I didn't remember actually getting to a bed, but that's where I woke up. I was alone when I opened my eyes, but I had the feeling that someone had been with me not too long ago. For one thing there was still an indent in the bed beside me, and when I reached out and touched that spot with my hand it was still warm. I let my head slip off of the pillow and, when I was close enough, it was easy to recognize the perfume Seiya had started wearing when she was dressed as a girl.

The door swung open a couple of minutes later and Seiya herself walked in holding a cup in her hand. She was wearing the same pair of jeans and tank top that she'd been dressed in when we left the apartment, but now her body had been liberally adorned with white bandages. When she saw that I was awake, a lot of the stress left her face and she smiled at me. "Odango, you're up! Thank goodness. I was hoping I'd be here when you came to. Figures you'd wake up just when I slipped out to get a drink." She came closer and reached out to feel my forehead.

"How long was I out for?" I asked, surprised by how rough my voice sounded. I propped myself up on my elbows and Seiya sat down on the edge of the bed, holding her cup out so that I could take a drink. The liquid inside was clear, but it wasn't water. It tasted sweet. I drank hungrily, realizing quickly that no matter how much I consumed the cup never grew empty.

"You've been sleeping for about four days, by Taiki's estimation," Seiya said once I'd had my fill. "I only woke up a few hours ago, myself. Apparently Helios has been taking care of us." She indicated the bandage on her forearm. "I think we were all in pretty rough shape."

"No wonder." I touched my throat. It felt a lot better than it had, but swallowing still hurt. I wondered if I still had bruising, or if that had healed. "Does he seem... okay?"

Seiya sighed. "I think he's been having a rough go of it, but I only saw him for a couple of minutes. He said that he had a small disturbance to take care of and that he wouldn't be gone for long. I think he guessed that you were going to wake up soon, because he asked me not to leave until he'd had the chance to talk to you."

I wouldn't have left without seeing Helios, anyway. Not after all the help he'd given us. I sat up the rest of the way, making sure I moved carefully, and looked around the room. It was pretty small and the walls seemed to be made out of wood, but the bed I was laying on was soft and the covers were warm. I stroked them absently with my hand as I glanced at Seiya. "You're okay right? I was watching when you were fighting against Petz. She gave you a hard time."

"I'm fine," Seiya said. "I'm healing a little more slowly than I used to, though. I don't know if it's because I used so much power or if it's because of the different atmosphere." She reached for the bandage on her arm and unwrapped it, showing me the wound underneath. It was a gash about the length of my index finger. Already it was partially healed, the edges pink and shiny with new skin even though the middle of it still looked raw. "Yaten, Taiki and Chibi-Chibi are okay too. I just went by to check on them. Taiki and Chibi-Chibi are up, but Yaten was still sleeping."

"That's good," I said, relieved to hear that most of us had made it through unscathed. "And the Sisters?"

"I don't know. Helios told me that they buried Petz and then decided to return to Earth without waiting to speak with you. He decided that he couldn't really keep them here against their will."

"I hope they're doing alright." I chewed on my lip. The four Sisters had always been close, even when they were arguing. I suspected the loss of Petz would be hitting them hard, especially since they hadn't been healed of dark energy yet. It would definitely be a priority to track them down and return them to their normal human selves, but first...

My locket was on the side of the bed, within easy reach. I was no longer dressed as Princess Serenity; I was plain old Tsukino Usagi. Even my hair was undone from my odango. I picked up my locket and touched the cover, watching as it vanished. The ginzuishou sparkled, like it could sense my attention, and I smiled. I pressed it to my chest and closed my eyes, falling into the tingle of power as easily as ever. What I was searching for was intimately familiar to me, and it was not hard to find.

Chibi Moon's power was similar to mine, and as long as I had the strength to search I would always be able to feel it. It was a relief to know that her pink moon crystal had been reabsorbed into the ginzuishou, and that it would stay there until the day came when it was needed. No one else, not even me, would be capable of calling it forth until then. I put a hand on my stomach. As long and hard as the wait would be, it was a relief to know that someday she would be here with me - and in the meantime, I'd get to experience her childhood.

Another hand covered mine, surprising me out of the light daze I'd fallen into. I looked up to see that Seiya was sitting so close to me that our thighs were pressed together. Her eyes were very blue and very pretty, wide and bright in spite of the dim light. Her gaze dropped and I followed it automatically, looking down to where our hands rested over my belly. I thought that maybe I could see the start of a curve, a hint of the baby that was growing inside.

"I've thought about it," Seiya said quietly, and her words made my heart skip several beats. I couldn't help remembering our last conversation, when I'd confessed that I was worried about what a baby would mean for the future of the _Three Lights_, not to mention Seiya herself. I felt like we'd talked about this years ago. Had it really only been a couple of days?

"You did?" I said, biting my lip nervously. We'd left things up in the air, deciding that we would wait until the battle was over with before we talked anything over. At the time, I hadn't even known whether there would be an _after the battle_. Now it was here and I still didn't know what she was going to say. It was terrifying.

"Yeah, I did."

"I don't know when you would've had the chance." I tried to make it sound like a joke, but I knew it had fallen flat even before I saw the look on her face. "Seiya, I... I don't want you to feel pressured. I hope you know that. Raising a child is a huge responsibility even when you don't have the media hanging all over you, and you guys - what with your return and everything, you're front and center and everyone is always looking at you. It'll be crazy. I wouldn't blame you at all if you decided that it's too much." I'd be crushed, of course, especially if Seiya went on to find someone else that she fell in love with. But I would do my best to encourage her.

"Are you finished?" Seiya asked, and when I nodded she leaned over and kissed me. I was too startled to enjoy it. I must have looked pretty confused because she started laughing when she pulled back. "Odango, I promise you I did think about it. A lot. And I know that raising a kid is hard. I have to admit I don't have much experience with them, so you're going to have to be patient with me at first."

"You... you mean...?" I stared at her, hardly daring to hope.

"Yes," she said with a nod, smiling. "You are everything I've ever wanted, Usagi. I tried so hard to keep myself away from you because I thought it would never happen. I'm not going to let anything stand in our way now, but that goes double for something stupid like fear." She squeezed my hand. "I know that the media is going to think I'm the father. If you want to let them think that, we can. I don't mind. If it makes things easier on you, I'll make the announcement as soon as we get back to Earth."

"But..." My mind was spinning. This was everything I had ever hoped for. I had trouble believing it was real. "But Seiya, what about the _Three Lights_?"

"Yaten, Taiki and I play music because it's something we enjoy, but we don't have to do it. I've talked it over with them and they're okay with this. Frankly, both of them seemed to think it was a foregone conclusion and were just waiting for the two of us to catch up." She was grinning now. "I really don't think that it's going to make a difference, but if it does then we'll handle that when it happens. What I have with you is far more important. I don't want you to do this alone."

Tears filled my eyes so quickly that I was blinded. I'd been waiting so long to hear her say that. Seiya, though, didn't seem to know how to handle it. She shifted backwards and actually took her hand off of mine. "Is - that's still what you want, isn't it? I understand if you don't want people to think I'm the father, if you'd rather they knew the truth about Mamoru-san -"

I silenced her in the best way I knew how. I tackled her to the bed and kissed her. For the first time, I was able to kiss her without feeling any doubts about the future - without wondering whether or not this was be our last kiss. It was the best feeling in the world. I had to make myself stop. "No," I said breathlessly. "I want everyone to know that you're her father. I want Chibi-Usa to grow up thinking that, too. You're going to be here for her in a way that he can't."

Seiya stroked my hair. "But what about when he's reborn?"

"He'll be younger than she is, because technically Chibi-Usa's going to be born first," I said wryly. "Seiya... listen. I've been reincarnated before. I know what that's like. I'm not the same person that Princess Serenity was. Not at all. So when everyone is reborn... please don't expect them to be the same, either. They're going to be different people. Mamoru might not want to have anything to do with us. He might not even love me. I'm sure he'll still be Tuxedo Kamen, but that's probably where the similarities will end."

I watched her face closely and I saw the exact moment when she made the connection between what I'd been saying and Princess Kakyuu. It was hard to watch. I felt guilty for pointing it out, but I thought it was better she knew now instead of spending her time waiting for someone who would, probably, never come back. I put my hand on her cheek. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Seiya said, even though we both knew that it wasn't. She cupped the back of my head and pulled me down. I curled up against her, my head on her shoulder, as she added, "I've accepted that everyone is gone, and I don't want to think about the past anymore. I want to think about a future with you."

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